Appledashery Vol. Two

by Just Essay

A Void

Applejack awoke extra early.

But it wasn't to do chores.

She trotted—more like limped—up the hill towards the south end of the farm. She didn't know where she was going or why—but that was a lie.

Applejack was only ever dishonest with herself when she most needed it.

At last, she entered the shade of young unplucked apple trees under a brightening dawn. The morning was gray and cold and quiet. She knelt amidst the sacred silence, staring at the two stones erected before her like she did every year.

This was an unplanned visit. So much about life was unplanned. Applejack was only starting to learn this.

"Hi Ma. Hi Pa."

She removed her hat.

"The farm is... the farm is doin' just fine and dandy."

Curved freckles.

"Between Mr. Rich's business and the regular Cider Season, we're practically rollin' in bits. We're hopin' to make a heap'o'money when the Summer Sun Celebration comes to town. So many ponies will be gallopin' on over from the furthest parts of Equestria to see the Princess show her stuff. I dunno about the rest of the family, but I'm plum excited."

A deep breath. Dew kissed Applejack's flanks from where she sat in the grass.

"And... they're doin' alright. The family, that is. Granny Smith is keepin' the house all nice and tighty... really enjoyin' herself. Apple Bloom's makin' friends at school. That's really nice. And Big Mac? I reckon he just might have found somepony very... very special in his life..."

Falling freckles. A cloud's shadow. Shudders.

"And me? Shucks... I'm doin' better than I ever have done before..."

Her emerald eyes scanned the orchards beneath the hill.

"Farmwork's as hard and hot and sweaty as it's ever been. But... somehow... I can manage just fine. And I'm scorin' dozens of business opportunities all across Ponyville. The Cake Family... the Harvests... even that mare who owns the confection shop uptown. We've made a barrel-load of business partners and it's puttin' Sweet Apple Acres on the map. I've even talked with Mayor Mare about possibly buyin' more land across the beaver streams. She respects me somethin' fierce. So many... ponies in town look up to me. I tell 'em I'm just carryin' on yer spirit of togetherness and respect. Reckon it's workin' mighty fine. I'm just... I'm fine, Ma and Pa. I'm doin' just fine..."

A slowly forming grimace. Applejack's ears folded.

"Which... which makes..."

She gulped.

"...which makes it all the more hard to admit... that I-I dun feel like I'm 'doin' fine.'"

Her eyes grew misty as she gazed at the tombstones yet again.

"I'm in a good place. Honest I am. The farm ain't sinkin'. The family's healthy and kickin'. I certainly don't have any sore hooves or hurtin' back bones. And... and yet..."

A sniffle.

"...every night I go to bed, I feel like... like somethin' is missin'..."

A tremble.

"...like th-there's this great big hole in my life and I can't seem to fill it with anythang n-no matter how hard I work or sweat or... or..."

She hung her head, fighting the urge to squeak like a foal.

"... ... ...and the funny th-thang is... I didn't start feelin' this way until now... now when I've got all my apples lined up in a row... now when everythang is just so perfect. Why do I feel this way? I don't want... I-I don't want..."

She raised her head up again. Jaw trembling. A tear formed along her cheek.

"I dun wanna disappoint y'all. I hate to complain. But... but somethin' is missin'. And... and I'm starting to wonder if you both felt it too. If you even could feel it. After all, you had..."

She gulped.

"...you had each other. And you had us. And... and..."

Silence.

Applejack sighed.

"Selfish..."

She plopped her hat back on.

"I'm just bein' plum selfish."

A final sniff, and any hint of tears receded back into her eyes. Hard emerald eyes above a calm smile.

"Been missin' sleep. Got me thinkin' all silly-like."

She nevertheless fought a sore throat as she stood up.

"I just... I just have to keep to my work... like y'all did. It's simple as that. It's simple as..."

She froze in place. Her knees shook.

"I love you."

The graves were silent.

"I love you. Always have... always will. That... that's good enough."

The shadows shifted as the sun slowly raised over the eastern plains.

"That's good enough."

Applejack turned around. She trotted firmly downhill.

"Good enough."

Comments

[Lamplighter]

Come on Applejack, since when was good enough ever to be settled for. You always have to fight for a brighter tomorrow.

[zaponator]

Applejack continues to be a silly pony...

[arancaytar]

"That's good enough."

If you repeat it often enough you might start believing it, Miss Future Element of Honesty.