• Published 21st Oct 2016
  • 2,358 Views, 141 Comments

[Insert Bad Pun Relating to Change] - 78_Percent_Eggs



Drake was a normal teen living his normal teen life... but then he turns into a horsebug in the middle of second period. You know, as one normally does.

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Chapter 1: An interesting addiction

Author's Note:

Hello!

My name is Rick Harrison and this is my pawn shop.

...

Jk:twilightsheepish:

For those of you who like my crossover, now you know why it's taking so long!!

Also, this idea totally just boom, popped in my head.

I honestly don't know how far I'll take this story:derpytongue2:

It's more like a cross between the story 'Growing a Shell' and 'Cool Story Bro, needs more ponies'.
(If you haven't read those stories, check them out!! They're awesome:rainbowdetermined2:)

Also,

WHATS THE DEAL WITH HARAMBE?!?!?!:flutterrage:

Drake Maddox Traffer sat in the back of classroom 206, his head on his desk and a small stream of drool pooling out of his mouth. This did not amuse his Social Studies teacher, Mr. Dune.

“MR. TRAFFER!!”

“*Snort* hmmmm? Is breakfast ready?” It took Drake a couple of seconds to register his surroundings and realize what he just uttered, but by that point, the entire class had already erupted in laughter. Even the teacher was working hard to not crack a smile.

Drake pulled his hoodie over his head and yanked the shoestrings until his face was completely concealed from the outside world.

Under the instruction of the teacher, he reluctantly removed it.

“Now I don’t know if you know this or not, but this is Social Studies, not naptime. If you don’t find The French Revolution interesting or have the audacity to take notes, I suggest you go back to the preschool across the street.”

The class giggled and Drake faintly heard someone whisper to their neighbor, “Rekt by the teacher.”

The muttering eventually died down and Mr. Dune continued with his lecture on Louis Alexandre Berthier, unaware of the thoughts that now traveled through Drake’s at the moment. He had to get home. ASAP.

Drake was an average kid, as average as they go. Brown hair, brown eyes, casual clothes, the whole package. He did his homework. He got in trouble occasionally. He took interest in a couple of girls. He had a decent amount of friends. Sometimes, he felt like a face in the crowd, a clone perhaps. He even had all the same hobbies as his friends, skateboarding, Star Wars, and video games. That was, until 2 weeks ago.


“Drake, I haven’t got all day! Are you going to sit and watch with me or what? Not getting any younger over here!” His little sister Lena screamed from the couch.

“Jesus, can I make a sandwich in peace?!? I’m coming, just give me a minute!”

“I ain’t got a minute! I’m starting without you.”

“Fine! Watch your stupid horsey show, I don’t give a crap.”

“I’m gonna tell mom you said a bad word.”

“‘Crap’ is not a bad word.”

“Is too.”

“Is not.”

“Is too.”

“Is not.”

“Is too.”

“FINE! FINE! FINE! I’ll watch your dumb show, just shut up, you brat.”

Drake trudged out of the kitchen and into the family room, a messy PB&J in his hand. He grunted and flopped on the couch, a good 3 feet away from Lena as she clicked the remote from her hand.

Drake’s deadpan expression never faltered as the show began to play.

A narrator started yapping. “Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two regal sisters who ruled the land together and created harmony for all the land… “

Ugh what a stupid show. He moped internally. I’m going to hate every second of this. I can’t wait until… Hey, the nightmare horse actually looks kinda badass.

Drake’s deadpan expression slowly transform into one of interest as the show went along, finding himself actually hooked on the plotline. Twilight Sparkle had been sent to a town called “Ponyville” to make friends and find the “Elements of Harmony” before an evil pony named “Nightmare Moon”. When the Summer Sun Celebration began and the spotted unicorn silhouette disappeared from the moon, Drake felt his heart-beat quicken. He tried (and failed) to remind himself that he hated this.

The lights on the TV washed over the siblings in their dark family room as Nightmare Moon appeared in the place of her sister on the balcony of town hall. Drake absentmindedly started biting his thumbnail in anxiety.

“The night, will last FOREVER!! Hahahahaha!” Nightmare yelled as lightning clouds and starry blue mist whipped around her. Twilight bit her lip while the other ponies cowered and…

“To be continued” flashed in curly white letters across a purple background screen.

“WHAT? That can’t be it! Is their more?” He jumped up and pointed to the screen. When realizing he had said that out loud, he turned to his sister, who was giving him a smug look.

“See?” she said haughtily, “I told you you would like it. Do you want to watch the second episode? I have it right here.”

She exited out of the show and found ‘Friendship is Magic: Part 2’ and hovered over it, giving Drake a coy grin.

“I-I...uh…” Damn it! Was he really wanting to watch the second episode? What was happening to him?!?

He flopped back on the sofa. “Whatever you want.” he grumbled. Lena smirked and clicked play.


An upbeat My Little Pony theme song played as the credits flashed by. The end of Friendship is Magic Part 2 left Drake feeling like he was going to throw up. He was enjoying the show. A lot. He wanted to watch more. His inner man felt dead right now.

He shot a sideways glance at the little worm he was forced to call ‘sister’. She was passed out on the couch, cheek pressed against the pillow, giving her a somewhat stupid appearance. He pinched the bridge of his nose and glanced at the clock in the kitchen.

10:00 PM

He groaned and half-heartedly began shaking Lena awake. He still had two hours before his dad returned home from...wherever the hell he was.

“Lena, your show is over. Let’s get you to bed, alright?” He had to be as gentle with her as possible, cause oh boy, was she a little devil when tired. Last time he tried to wake her up, she ended up flinging a spoonful of mayo at him.

Thankfully, by shaking her awake, she only gave him a stink eye and trudged upstairs into her room. He heard the sounds of dresser drawers being opened and closed, and the sound water faucets running. After 5 minutes, the light upstairs had shut off and his 9-year old sister was asleep once again.

Drake sat alone in the family room, Netflix still open and running. He shut off the TV as quick as he could and collapsed into the sofa, hands over his face.

Crap crap crap! Why do I like this? This is for little girls! This is for 3 year olds, not male high school freshmen!! Ugh…

A thought came to him.

Nobody has to know.... Yeah! I can just...um...watch it when I’m all alone? Okay… I feel like the world’s biggest idiot…

Standing up, he walked over to the kitchen table and began to rummage through his backpack, which was sprawled messily over the table cloth. He pulled out his shiny silver iPad, and clicked the home button, the screen flaring to life and his background picture of Darth Maul from Star Wars greeting him.

Slowly glancing around the room, he climbed the steps to the second floor of his home shakily and quietly, as if he might have been robbing a bank. He slowly opened the door to his room and it quietly creaked, almost as if it was telling him not to carry on with his plans.

I am really doing this? He thought as he made his way towards the sliding door closet in his room. Pushing it open, he walked in and nestled himself under his hanging shirts. With one hand, he slid the door shut once more. It was pitch black.

Yes I am. With trembling fingers, he reached into his pocket and grabbed a pair of black earbuds, then put them in. As he inserted the plug into the iPad, he opened the Netflix app and clicked on the icon with the smiley face labeled, ‘kids’.

He found what he wanted. My Little Pony. The show for whiny little princess wanna-be girls. He was watching it. In his closet. He chose too. Nobody made him.

He sucked in as much breath as he could muster, then bravely brought his finger down onto the screen, it making contact with the episode ‘The Ticket Master’.

Sweet Jesus, he wanted go dig a hole in his backyard, crawl inside and die from shame right now.


Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor rode away in a carriage while Spike made a comment about the bachelor party he was going to host. The ponies laughed as the camera slowly faded out.

Drake yawned and stretched from his hiding spot. That was a good episode. I would love to see more of… did I ever get her name? Nah, it doesn’t matter, the Queen of the Changelings? Yeah. Well I think I’ve had enough.

He shut off his iPad, but not before getting a quick glance at the time. If he had been drinking something, it would have been spewed from his mouth in surprise. He turned the device back on. The large numbers read 4:34 AM.

It was 4 in the @$#%ing morning?!?!?

Quickly, he slid open the closet and bumbled out like an idiot, throwing open his bedroom door and standing in the hallway. He could hear his dad snoring like a leaf blower in his bedroom. He always did that. Slowly, Drake plodded back to his bedroom and wrapped himself under the covers, wanting to vomit. What the @$#% was wrong with him?


2 days later, if anyone took the time to look through Drake’s search history, they would find that he had recently googled, ‘help i am addicted to my little pony’.


“Mr. Traffer are you listening?!?”

The teacher startled Drake out of his spacy state and back to Earth. He looked away and mumbled.

“Sorry Mr. Dune.”

His teacher gave him a look that shot knives then returned to his (very boring) lecture.

RRRRRIIIIIIINNNNGGG!!!!!

Before Mr. Dune had the chance to even say anything, Drake was already out the door.

He dashed down the hallways,avoiding other kids in his way and occasionally bumping into someone. Today was the day. Well, it was supposed to be the day. Hopefully it was the day?

He didn’t know. He didn’t care, either. He had to get home.

Running as fast as his awkward teenage legs could carry him, he navigated his way down the hall. He thought he might have heard the vice principal yell at him to slow down, but he pretended not to hear.

Flinging open the doors, he was greeted with the warm air and sunshine from the outside world. It felt good, especially since he had been going from one large stuffy classroom to another all day. He sprinted down the walk and kept at this steady pace until he reached his house, about 2 blocks away from the school.

He flung open the door and shut it quickly. After a breath, he leaned against it, sweat dripping down his face.

“Hello?”

No response.

A slow grin crept up the side of his face. He was alone. Alone at last!

He bolted up the stairs, which proved difficult from all his running as he was tripping over his feet every couple of steps.

He powered on his computer, a Mac, typed in his password, (D@rth178), and opened Google Chrome. In the search bar, he typed in three letters, but Google auto-filled the rest for him.

“Fimfiction”

Clicking on the link, his cursor zipped across the screen, where the number 1 sat inside of a red box, showing he had one new email.

Click

It was from Fimfiction’s lead moderator, Meeester.

He read the title, and that was enough for him.

Darth Vader comes to Equestria has been approved

He let out a shriek of delight. His story had been officially posted! He knew he wasn’t an excellent writer, but he didn’t care. Now all he had to do was wait for the likes and comments to roll in. (But first, a quick deleting of his search history.)


He was in the middle of reading an amusing story titled “Stereotypical HIE story” when the sound of the front door opening reverberated throughout the house. Lena and Dad were home.

“Drake! Drake! Are you home.”

He closed all of his tabs and slammed his MacBook shut.

“Yeah! I’m here!”

“Good. You better be doing your homework.”

“I am! I’m almost done with my math.”

“Okay, I’m going to come check what you have so far.”

He heard the sound of his father’s footsteps echo through the house.

“WAITWAITWAIT!”

The footsteps ceased.

Think think think! “Uhhhh… I would prefer if you come check after I’m done...y’know...Why check it now?...Uh, I mean….Doesn’t Lena have that big science project?”

Pause.

“Yeah. You’re right. I’m sure she needs the help more than you. Math’s your best subject, isn’t it? You have an ‘A’...right?”

“Yeah, yeah, totally math is like, the easiest. Ever.”

Lie. He actually had a ‘B-’

“Okay then. I trust you.”

He heard the footsteps recede back downstairs. He sighed and put his hands in his head.

That was close.

Ever since he had started liking My Little Pony, after a little (a lot) of research, he discovered ‘bronies’, the annual Bronycon, tons of fan-made songs, animations and a bigger fandom than he could even possibly imagine.

He didn’t feel so alone and idiotic anymore. And he didn’t want to vomit every time he watched an episode, so that was a plus as well.

But there was no way he was going to tell his dad, or his snotty sister, or anyone for that matter about this. He would become a laughing stock for the rest of his life! He’d never live it down. It was all going to be a complete secret.

His brain hurt from thinking about what could happen if someone found out. He’d be a pile of dead meat.

Thinking of meat, Drake got out of his chair and made his way into the kitchen downstairs. He seemed to recall seeing an uneaten sausage in the fridge last time he was there...