"...Well." Kikai coughed into her paw. "Perhaps... we could ask Miss Doo's daughter?"
The assembled humans stared at her.
"She did say she can't tell us anything we couldn't find out in three hours," Blue mused.
"Hold on." Golden Harvest put her hands on the table. "Ditzy, when did you have a kid?!"
"Hopefully five or more years in the future."
"...she's a time traveler, isn't she."
"Eeeeyup."
Golden sat back down. "Well, alright, that's better."
Ditzy frowned. "You really think I'd just stick myself out there and get--"
"No, no. But it's always the ones you least expect, right?"
"That's because nobody ever expects it," Raindrops pointed out. "Social normative engineering and programming. An open mind can anticipate much more than a closed one."
Blue Oyster blinked at her. "...Huh. Yes, that's... right..."
"Bringing us back to the subject at hand," Kikai interjected, "assuming that she does have some form of future knowledge, young miss Doo could in theory alert us to events as... they happen, I believe. With that information, we could properly organize our search for the Gates."
"Two issues I have with that," Ditzy said. "One, the whole 'using my daughter as an oracle' thing--it's logical, but it also makes her a target if the Vaucoi or anybody else wants to stop us."
"She's not your daughter yet," Raspberry pointed out.
Ditzy frowned. "I'm still responsible for her."
"Touché."
"We can probably just set up something where she anonymously alerts us via smartphone," Blue pointed out.
"I can code an app for that," Raindrops added.
"...You can code?"
"Yep!" The yellow-skinned girl beamed. "Took a course. It was cool."
Blue Oyster looked at her speculatively. "I may ask for your help on some things in the future."
"No promises."
Golden Harvest cleared her throat. "What was the other problem you had, Ditzy?"
"The idea that Kikai would be coming with us."
For a moment, silence pervaded the room.
"...Excuse me?" the feline alien asked, only a hint of aggression in her polite tone.
"Look, we're going to be going into what I assume are going to be combat scenarios. I trust Golden can handle herself with her martial arts training, Raindrops I know can keep a cool head in dangerous situations, and I've seen how Blue and Razz did during that whole angst monster thing a few months ago."
"Honestly, I was panicking," Blue admitted.
"Yes, but you directed that panic. You used that energy to focus your attention and your efforts on fighting the angst monsters and organizing a way out for everyone caught up in it. Believe me, that's... pretty much what you need." She turned to Raspberry. "And you, you were... well, a bit wild and spastic, but at least you did what that girl with the scythe told you to do."
"She's our pope for a reason," Raspeberry Fluff acknowledged. "I trusted her."
Blue snorted. "Ruby Rose is sixteen."
"Close to the age of the Glorious Proclaimer, so she can understand the totality of Her words!"
"She literally got the position because she was the first to ask!"
"A display of faith and confidence that the Divine Bacon Horse found pure!"
"The girl was flying around with a scythe twice as big as her that was somehow also a gun! WHY THE HECK DO YOU TRUST HER?!"
"Carnifex Maxima Pope Ruby the first has yet to lead us astray in our service of the Wellspring of Magic and Sanity." She held up a finger. "That said, I'm not sure about her position on corsets versus bras. A matter of personal preference, but--"
"MY POINT," Ditzy said firmly, "is that when danger comes around, we can all handle ourselves. You, Kikai..." She sighed. "Back when I met you, the Vaucoi picked you up and you reacted with terror. I don't think you're ready for a real fight, and to be honest..."
The gray girl sat down. "...you're a millennia out of your depth. You've lost everyone you ever knew, and everything about the world you've learned might have changed. You've been acting like this is all normal for you, but... I wouldn't be able to recover so easily, and I don't think you have either. Piling this on top of what you're going through--the dangers of fighting Vaucoi and, perhaps, finding something you recognize destroyed... We can't afford you having a panic attack or getting lost in memories while everything is going on. And... quite frankly, I don't want you to go through that."
Kikai No Kawa stared at her.
"You... have thought this through, haven't you?"
"Well, yeah. I mean, if you want to help there's going to be a lot of paperwork and I don't have any idea how to handle that sort of stuff at all, and we'll let you examine the Gates when we're sure they're secure, but... until you get some sort of actual combat training, you're on the sidelines."
The feline alien looked down at her paws. "But... you're civilians too, aren't you?"
"We're not military," Blue Oyster allowed. "But if we apply as a Power Patriot subdivision we'll be... a special ops rescuer branch I think...? The legalese is complicated, but essentially it boils down to 'We don't think you'll die, but you will face danger and you will get hurt.' Which... Like Ditzy said. We've all been there."
Raspberry patted her head. "Don't worry, gatito, we're not saying you're not important. Heck, it's because you're important that we want you out of it. You're the one that knows what we're looking for."
"Yeah!" Raindrops shouted. "Command from the rear! You let us know what's going on and we can handle it!"
"You did come up with the oracle kid idea," Golden Harvest pointed out. "And like Ditzy said, handling the paperwork will be important too. Heck, you're... a trader, right? You probably have a better idea on how to work the overhead costs then any of us."
"It's official then." Ditzy nodded firmly. "Kikai No Kawa, I ask that you serve as the logistics officer of the..." She tapped her chin for a moment. "Of the Crossworlds Guardian Sailor Senshi Task Force!"
Raspberry frowned. "The CGSSTF?"
Golden shrugged. "They can't all be backronyms."
"What do you say, Kikai?" Ditzy held out a hand. "Are you up to the task?"
The feline alien glanced around at the assembled teenagers. "I am intelligent enough to know a diversionary tactic when I see one. I can see you are trying to sugarcoat your rejection, and provide me a secondary reward as compensation. I know that you are doing this, not due to my competence, but due to your own concerns about my mental health."
"...Is it working?"
Kikai managed a small smile. "More than you know, miss Doo." She took the hand in her paw. "Get me a desk, I will work the numbers."
"Oh, thank science," Blue said, sagging. "That's one horrifying mess I don't have to deal with."
"...What about 'Crossworlds Access Gate Enforcers'?" Raindrops suggested suddenly.
"That spells CAGE," Raspberry pointed out. "That's kind of the opposite of what we're doing. Also it sounds evil."
Golden Harvest sighed. "Really, are we really--really debating over this? Ditzy, can you--"
"I have to make a call." Ditzy pulled out her phone. "You and Blue can keep them from going off the rails--it's a team-building exercise!"
"What?!" Blue cried.
"No, hmm." Raspberry Fluff tapped her chin. "What about... what if we started with G for Gate?"
"There was the Gate Operations and Logistics Department," Kikai noted with some amusement. "It was not a paronomasia in the Munarin language, but if my wranglish is correct--"
Ditzy held the phone to her ear. "Hey mom! How are things at home?"
"But that implies that we're going to be running the Gates," Raindrops pointed out. "I think we're going to be turning them over to, uh, NEISA or something, right?"
"True, but we're securing the gates..." Raspberry gasped. "I got it! Gate Location and Orientation Squad... uh... Darn, I can't think of the rest of GLOSTICK."
"Oh, that's interesting. Say, speaking of Dinky, can you put her on the line, please?"
"Okay, if we're going to be taking this seriously, how about the Interstellar Engagement Technology Enforcement and Naturalization Team?" Blue offered.
"INTENT? Intent on what?" Golden Harvest threw up her hands. "I'm still fine with CGSSTF."
"Well, she's my daughter. Will be--the point is, I just want to... you know? Talk to her."
"Crossworlds... Gate... Interstellar... Secure..." Raindrops gasped. "The Senshi Temporal and Alien Railway Security Squad! STARS Squad... no, that's a bunch of nonsense words."
"You're onto something there, though..." Raspberry pulled out a paper. "Gate Acquisition, Location, Analysis, and eXtraterrestrial Y-something or other! What's a good Y, what's a good Y..."
"Alright." Ditzy was quiet for a couple of seconds. And then: "Hey! Dinky! What's going on with you?"
"You could say Enforcers," Golden offered with resignation. "GALAX-E."
"Yeah!" Raindrops nodded fiercely. "The GALAX-E girls! WOO!"
Blue nodded reluctantly. "That's... not a bad name, I suppose."
"Well, yes, I did call to offer you a job! You know the group me and some of the girls are forming?"
"So, GALAX-E girls." Golden stood. "We're all good on that?"
"Yeah," Raspberry said. "It fits."
"...Yes, that is exactly what I--what? Well, I mean--Well, yes, but... hold on." Ditzy covered the phone's mike. "Hey Kikai? Dinky's asking for a salary."
"Two hundred dollars per prediction, with possible negotiations for increase at a later date."
"Huh. Okay." Ditzy pulled her hand off her phone. "So, Dinky, two hundred a pop? Sound good? Okay, yeah. Uh, love you... well, sure, but I will at some point right? Right. Anyway, see you later."
She shut off the phone. "Well, I just..."
She blinked.
She giggled. And the giggle didn't stop. It morphed into a chuckle, then a guffaw, and finally a stream of constant laughter poured out of her mouth as she sagged into a chair.
"Um." Raindrops pointed at Ditzy. "Is she broken?"
That only got more laughter, the grey teenager slapping a knee as she stared skyward.
"Well, she reacted..." Blue Oyster mused. "Hey, Ditzy? What's so funny?"
"I, hahaha, I just! I just promised my, heee, my daughter, who I haven't had yet, two hundred dollars to, to predict, hahahaha, to predict alien invasions so that we, we can, heh, dress up in miniskirts, and, and, hahahaha, fight them, to get, heeeeheehahaha, magical cat portals! Hahahahahahaahaaaaaa! Oh my tree, oh... oh harmony, that! That is just..." She held up a hand. "I'm good, I'm good, it's just, the whole ridiculousness of the situation, it all hit me, right at once."
"I... thought you said you could roll with the weirdness."
"Don't worry, Razz, I'm good! This is fine! I just needed to let out a laugh." Ditzy pulled herself together and stood. "Right. Now, we should get some training in with our new gear, and get Kikai settled behind... whatever desk we need. So! That's what we're going to do over the next week or two. Settle in, girls, this is going to be a bumpy ride!"
"Yeah, GALAX-E girls rule!"
... ... How long did you plan this for??
... I thought about Dinky, but I thought her timeline might deviate enough from the current one, or the info that they need wouldn't be remembered ~15 years in the future, at least not by Dinky... ... Does her memory of her past update based on the current timeline? ... Did Ditzy's future self load Dinky with all the info they need?
Basically, Dinky knowing minutia of 15 years in her subjective past, if that's the right term, is really weird to me.
Nice with how Kikai's gonna work for them, and how much Ditzy thought about her psychology.
Interesting Digression on Ruby Rose. ... Angst Monsters. What? I wonder if we have enough lack of info for that to be a Noodle Incident...
I ship this.
... Are they a 5-man Band? Ditzy's Leader, Blue's Smart Guy, the others, not so sure...
Quick note: "Carnifex Maxima Pope Ruby" is about as redundant as "Chief Executive President Obama." Also, the singular is millennium.
In any case, I'm loving the character dynamics, especially the way Blue and Raindrops play off of each other. Also, those angst monsters sound several kinds of fascinating. In any case, with the logistics established and the ludicrousness laughed off—for now—it'll be very interesting to see where the GALAX-E girls go from here.
If Ruby is the Pope, what does that make Weiss, Yang, and Blake?
I loved this!
7753054
A famous child opera star broke free from her father's grip with newfound unicorn powers but, not used to the real world, ended up using all her money and nearly died on the street before a crazy redhead picked her up and taught her how to be confident. The red-head's half sister was having a vacation in some eastern countries when she heard about Tirek's thing, and decided to head to Tauros to punch some bad guys with her earth aspect. She found a low-class bookworm griffon aspect, and together they liberated a small section of the town before heading home.
When the sisters met, they introduced their new friends to each other. Tensions rose when it was discovered the child star's father had some dealings with Tirek, but it was agreed that said father was a jackass. Then Sunset Shimmer showed her video of her original self, the church of the divine bacon horse was formed, and while three of the friends laughed it off the redhead was so eager she immediately walked to Sunset's home (which was only three houses away), knocked on the door, and asked to become the pope.
Shortly after being awarded the position (and the resulting paperwork), the redhead wrangled her three friends into helping her to establish a system and order to the whole thing. For a time, they were stressed out and seriously considered abandoning the problem, but then an outbreak of a magical disease created angst monsters out of local animals and all four of them (who had combat training for various reasons and had experimented with magic weapons out of boredom) worked together with the members of their church to put the monsters down. After that, they were solidified as bishops in their own right.
All this happened over the course of a month.
7753500 Sounds perfectly plausible.
7753500 And this is not an actual story why?
philomenamagikz.net/file/pic/photo/2015/03/60812113b6d672d36fbcf048040b1915_500.png
7753599
Because I'm tired, lazy, made it up in five minutes, and I don't know if FomE really wants me to go there just yet. I might make it later.
Sailor Bubbles! If you take it out of context, it sounds like underwater marine farts. But! Sailor orbital it is!
Where the weight goes with derpy? Either into a different direction, or the more plausible idea, "Flying through seven dimensions is hard work man!"
7753500
Which month?
Eh.
7752309
As to the first question, that would depend on whether or not an alteration would create a branching timeline or merely alter the course of the timeline they exist in. If the former, than probably not. If the latter, then definitely, assuming the alteration in question didn't wipe out Dinky's future existence.
As to the second question, if we assume the entire situation to be a bootstrap paradox, then definitely yes. But only if Present Ditzy remembers to make records of every incident that occurs, exactly as they occur, then remembers to relay the information to Dinky after she's born.
7753500
Crap, now I want to read that story too.
Also, it's a shame we can't really call any of the GALAX-E Girls Milky Way...
7754275
Mmm... I'm just finding it hard to think of any justification for Dinky to have remembered Gate locations that are ~15 years in the her past, and before she was born, without some sort of assistance...
7755218
Internet.
7755262
Oh. ... And, I just realized one likely faulty assumption, that there are tons of Gates on Earth. If there's only a few, and well known, then Dinky would know them well, as in the future, they're likely to be transport hubs or something?
You know, naming them the GALAX-E Girls totally caught me off guard, and I'm STILL grinning at the reference! Love it!
Also, really liking the RWBY background subplot about the Pope of Bacon Horse. Those angst-monster Grimm give me an idea to hopefully further develop Playing Hero
5682376 : https://www.fimfiction.net/group/210047/the-oversaturated-world/thread/238549/flash-fiction-thread#comment/5682376
Yeah. It seems too obvious... But, why not. Perhaps it's an elected position or something, so the computers reset with nearly all Munarin gone and just let her in...
First Dinky, you rock! Extort your mother!
Second, don't use the word spastic please as an autistic individual that is a hate word
9560975
Speaking as an aspie myself, I have never heard the word spastic used as an autistic slur. Then again, I'm well aware how innocuous words tend to be co-opted by bigots...
7752390
More than four years late, but my pedantry can't let this stand: Carnifex is rather distinct from Pontifex. One makes meat, the other makes bridges. So unless being the greatest butcher (or executioner) is part of the role of the head of the CODBH, it's not a redundant title. If that is part of the job description, Sunset probably needs to take a closer look.
10658769
And when's the last time Pope Francis designed a causeway? It's a symbolic title, one who takes the raw wisdom of the Divine Bacon Horse, then prepares and serves it for the masses' consumption. Definitely not chosen just for the pun, no sir. (Never mind that the local version of Yang Xiao Long is one step down from Ruby in the Church's hierarchy.)