Nightmare's Pets

Vitae

Vitae #1 · Oct 8th, 2016 · 3 · · Introductions ·

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Holy shit.

CoffeeBean

CoffeeBean #2 · Oct 8th, 2016 · 6 · 2 · Introductions ·

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I like where this is going.

FirePrincess

FirePrincess #3 · Oct 8th, 2016 · 7 · 1 · Introductions ·

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Interesting...

PegasusMesa

PegasusMesa #4 · Oct 8th, 2016 · 5 · 1 · Introductions ·

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Your prose is very awkward and stutter-y. If that isn't something you can fix on your own, I suggest finding an editor to help.

PlieRow666

PlieRow666 #5 · Oct 8th, 2016 · · · Introductions ·

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So what happens in the next chapter now?

Michael Hudson

Michael Hudson #6 · Oct 8th, 2016 · · · Introductions ·

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7627535 More one on one time with each is the plan next.

PlieRow666

PlieRow666 #7 · Oct 9th, 2016 · · · Introductions ·

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7627541 ok.

Forum Explorer

Forum Explorer #8 · Oct 9th, 2016 · · 7 · Introductions ·

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Ugh, Nightmare forces? No thank you.

Slipstream95

Slipstream95 #9 · Oct 9th, 2016 · · · Introductions ·

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I'd like to see where this goes...

TheOneWithoutAName

TheOneWithoutAName #10 · Oct 19th, 2016 · · · Introductions ·

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I'm interested to see where this goes. I mean Nightmare might be cruel in this, but she also made clear that she in a way wants to be loved and not have some broken toys. Maybe an effect of the Elements? Or she really has the desire to be loved, considering jealousy really was her downfall it is a possibility.

In any case I'm already excited for the next chapter!

TheOneWithoutAName

TheOneWithoutAName #11 · Oct 23rd, 2016 · · · Fluttershy's Room ·

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Nice chapter! I am interested to see how the other two will fare!

DarkCrimsonFox

DarkCrimsonFox #12 · Oct 23rd, 2016 · · · Fluttershy's Room ·

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Interesting piece so far. :) can't raid to read nightmare x rarity and nightmare x twi

Comment posted by Shadowminx01 deleted Oct 23rd, 2016

Shadowminx01

Shadowminx01 #14 · Oct 23rd, 2016 · · · Fluttershy's Room ·

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Yay an update.

Forum Explorer

Forum Explorer #15 · Oct 24th, 2016 · · · Fluttershy's Room ·

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Well I wasn't expecting this, but this story inspired, well this:

Nightmare Moon sighed as she left Twilight's room. Doing what she had done was hard, but at least that slave knew her place now. Should I take a break? Rainbow Dash can wait...no, best get this over quick.she thought, walking to Rainbow Dash's room. Only to find a shattered door, and an unconscious guard. Nightmare Moon's heart stopped for a second, How could she have escaped? she thought frantically.
"Get out of my way!" she heard, faintly, down the corridors leading to Fluttershy's room. Eyes wide, Nightmare Moon dissolved into smoke racing ahead. Fluttershy was still in her room, she was relieved to note, quickly manifesting outside her door, in time to notice Rainbow Dash strike down another guard. She was naked, but holding a bloodied spear with nearly a full dozen guards laying senseless behind her. Rainbow Dash stopped and pointed her spear at Nightmare Moon.
"Get out of my way. I'm getting Fluttershy, and we're leaving!" She declared. Nightmare Moon sneered in reply.
"Know your place slave, and surrender. Or would you rather another session with my friends?" she said, staring intently at Rainbow Dash's eyes. Though Rainbow Dash couldn't prevent her body from shuddering at the memory, her eyes were filled with nothing but hatred, rage, and determination. Without another word, she sprinted forward, travelling almost too fast to see.
Version 1
Nightmare Moon blasted Rainbow Dash with a pure bolt of magic, throwing the pegasus mare down the hallway where she hit the wall with a crack and a thud.
"Did you really think that would work?" she said, dark amusement in her voice. Rainbow Dash twitched and groaned. Placing her spear on the ground, she forced herself to her hooves.
"I...will...beat...you. I...will...rescue...Fluttershy!" she gasped, staggering forward. Nightmare Moon shook her head, as her horn lit up once again. Rainbow Dash collapsed, crushed under the weight of her magic. Nightmare Moon stalked over, and glared down at Rainbow Dash. "I...won't...let...you...hurt...her," Rainbow Dash groaned, still struggling to push her self up. Nightmare Moon increased the strength of her spell, and hid a wince as Rainbow Dash's bones began to creak under the intensity.
"I won't hurt her, so long as she's obedient. I'll stop hurting you as well, if you promise to be the same." Nightmare Moon said.
"Burn... in...Tartarus...you...Bitch!" Rainbow Dash spat, glaring up at Nightmare Moon. She started to turn up intensity of the spell some more, then hesitated. What's the point? she thought to herself bitterly. she'll die before she does anything but hate and fear me. Even if I had a thousand years to spend on her, this mare would still be nothing but my enemy. she turned around, her throat tight, as her eyes burned with frustration and loneliness. She snapped her fingers and magical chains sprung into existence, binding Rainbow Dash's hooves and hand together.
"You'll be bound in darkness and left alone, til I can come up with a suitable punishment for what you have done." Nightmare Moon proclaimed, teleporting Rainbow Dash to the dungeon. She stood silently for a moment and pulled out the final collar. She ran her fingers over it for a second, then cursed, igniting the collar and burning it to ashes.
Version 2
As Rainbow Dash leaped forward, Nightmare Moon called upon her shadows, which rushed forward and engulfed the bold Pegasus. Rainbow Dash let out a scream of terror and pain as she was once again subjected to the torture of Nightmare Moon's dark patron. Rainbow Dash flailed around, and then lay still.
"No. No! My friends...my family...all of Equestria..." Rainbow Dash pushed herself to her feet, still covered in black goop, "they are calling out for a hero. Somepony, anypony!, to end this Nightmare and bring back the sun! Their hopes and dreams, they all depend on me!"
There was an eruption of light from Rainbow Dash, blowing away all of shadows. Rainbow Dash stood there, fully armored with a rainbow colored lance in hand and the Element of Loyalty proudly emblazoned on her chest.
derpicdn.net/img/2012/10/11/119734/large.jpg
*Cue fight music*
"AND I WON'T LEAVE THEM HANGING!" she shouted, a bolt of rainbow colored lightning shooting from her lance, and blasting Nightmare Moon, the energies crackling around her armor, leaving blackened spots wherever it failed to protect her.
I take it back, Harmony hates me. Nightmare Moon thought as groaned in pain. She quickly summoned her own weapon, a crescent shaped blade made of moonlight. She deflected Rainbow Dash's lance, sending into the wall, where it shattered the stone and left a small crater. She slashed back, and Rainbow Dash jumped backwards, easily evading the blow.
Three more times they clashed, and each time time Nightmare Moon easily deflected Rainbow Dash's blows. As powerful and fast as she was, it didn't hold a candle to the millennium of experience and power that Nightmare Moon held. This isn't ideal, but perhaps I can still salvage this. she thought, before striking. Her blade swept through the air, forcing Rainbow's lance into the roof, and getting it stuck for a brief second. Twisting her blade around, she swept it across Rainbow Dash's wrist, severing her hand from her body.
Rainbow Dash yelped in shock, then grinned as a prismatic flame emerged from her injury, taking on the appearance of a hand. She pulled her lance from the roof and pointed it at Nightmare Moon. Not pausing, Nightmare Moon shot a beam of magic straight through Rainbow Dash's chest. Her grin widened, as that hole too was filled with prismatic fire. "You're going to have to try a little harder then that!" Rainbow Dash bragged, renewing her assault. Nightmare Moon defended herself frantically, sustaining several glancing hits, but otherwise staying unharmed.
I'm going to have to kill her. Nightmare Moon realized, sadly. Again she battered Rainbow Dash's lance to the side, but this time she stepped closer, and took up a two handed stance. She brought her blade down and cut Rainbow Dash in half, splitting her from her shoulder down to her hip. Prismatic fire burst forth, but Nightmare Moon had already backed off. Rainbow Dash staggered, and then fell to a knee.
"Dammit. I...lost? Dammit!" she swore, tears springing forth as the prismatic fires began to consume her body. "D-don't think this is over! Other ponies will take up the cause. They'll never give in to you, they'll never accept you!" Rainbow Dash fell as her legs dissolved, holding up her body with her remaining hand. she stared past Nightmare Moon at the door behind her. "Damn it. I wish...I...had...told...Fluttershy........I," Rainbow Dash dissolved, consumed by the flames of Harmony, which soon scattered to winds, leaving behind a cold, dark castle, with only some ashes and a large scorch mark to show where she had been.

Yeah, I don't know why this story brought that on, but it did. It's not enough to make it my own story, and only makes sense in the context of yours so...*shrug*

enjoy I guess.

Bonk

Bonk #16 · Oct 25th, 2016 · 1 · · Fluttershy's Room ·

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...switched out her dress for more formal clothing. She was now wearing a pale, purple shirt and a long, black skirt.

I think you mean informal, not formal. Formal attire is higher-class clothing such as suits, ties, tuxedos, longer dresses, slacks, etc. The skirt fits, but I doubt a simple purple shirt would.

SuperSaiyanTeemo

SuperSaiyanTeemo #17 · Nov 12th, 2016 · 2 · · Twilight's Room ·

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beautiful...loving every moment of this

TheOneWithoutAName

TheOneWithoutAName #18 · Nov 12th, 2016 · 1 · · Twilight's Room ·

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Now I'm already excited to see the next one with Rainbow. Let's be honest, that one screams for a gangrape! I at least hope that will be the chapter where it occurs!

DarkCrimsonFox

DarkCrimsonFox #19 · Nov 12th, 2016 · · · Twilight's Room ·

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Very good...

Michael Hudson

Michael Hudson #20 · Nov 12th, 2016 · · · Twilight's Room ·

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7715596 I will spoil and say no, but also remind that the measures taken for each will only be more extreme, in one way or another, as time goes on.

TheOneWithoutAName

TheOneWithoutAName #21 · Nov 12th, 2016 · 1 · · Twilight's Room ·

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7716009

Ah okay. My second bet would be tentacles. At least I hope for it since she was dragged off by them!

nekoparalover

nekoparalover #22 · Nov 18th, 2016 · 2 · · Twilight's Room ·

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so far i'm really liking this story

Autum Breeze

Autum Breeze #23 · Nov 24th, 2016 · · · Fluttershy's Room ·

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christmas? pretty sure mlp has hearth's warming. or maybe this AU just doesn't give a damn and goes with real world names for holidays instead of pony ones

Michael Hudson

Michael Hudson #24 · Nov 24th, 2016 · · · Fluttershy's Room ·

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7745092 Nope! That's just me legitimately fucking up.

TheOneWithoutAName

TheOneWithoutAName #25 · Dec 9th, 2016 · · · Rainbow Dash's Room ·

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Aww, I was hoping for tentacle action. Well, maybe next time? I'm also hoping that Rainbow will learn to enjoy it. I mean, her screaming out only in pain instead of pleasure isn't as interesting. But that's only my opinion.

Wolfcape

Wolfcape #26 · Sep 9th, 2017 · · · Rainbow Dash's Room ·

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Given it's September it's rather old but can I ask if this has hopes of being continued?

Michael Hudson

Michael Hudson #27 · Sep 9th, 2017 · · · Rainbow Dash's Room ·

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8416106 Unfortunately no, but I'm bad about putting things on hiatus.

Wolfcape

Wolfcape #28 · Sep 9th, 2017 · · · Rainbow Dash's Room ·

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8416365
Hiatus suggests it will be continued, just in the far, far future...right?

Michael Hudson

Michael Hudson #29 · Sep 9th, 2017 · · · Rainbow Dash's Room ·

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8416707 Sorry. Cancelled was the correct word for that. Unfortunately, I'm trying to focus more on my original works and commissions at this point as far as my writing goes, and this idea is too old for me to want to risk allowing it to be commissioned again. I'm sorry.

Wolfcape