Song of vice and feathers
When Twilight challenged her to the pillow fight, Chrysalis was confident this would turn out to be the same as the previous games. This competition favored physical combat, to which Chrysalis surmised she had a clear advantage over the smaller mare. She knew this battle was as good as won.
“TO VICTORY, BATTLE SISTERS! MAKE THEM BEG FOR THEIR LIVES!”
Chrysalis couldn’t have been more wrong.
Deafening war cries muddled into screams of agony and horror as Twilight’s forces dove forward, crashing into Chrysalis' horrified squad in a whirlwind of fury and feathers. Chrysalis had no chance to organize a counterattack or strategy, barely holding on as Twilight and Starlight barreled down on her position. Every blow to the head rocked Chrysalis’ senses, throwing her across the hallways like a ragdoll. Barely a minute into the battle, and Chrysalis found her carapace getting hoofed to her on a silver platter.
After weathering the initial barrage, Chrysalis scrambled for the nearest pillow and attempted to fight back, only to be pelted by a hail of magically gripped pillows from Starlight’s position. This unbalanced her long enough for Twilight to lunge at her, a pillow in hoof and bloodlust in her eyes. Pure luck and unbridled fear broke Chrysalis out of her shock as she quickly used her pillow to guard the blow. Feathers exploded from both pillows as Chrysalis faced a war on two fronts; Starlight’s bombardments and Twilight’s ravaging strikes.
Praying to find some sort of opening to strike from, Chrysalis looked to her teammates to see if they could provide backup. They did not fare much better.
Fluttershy flailed her pillow wildly to strike at the agile Rainbow Dash. Even with Rarity’s help of telekinetic pillow strikes, Rainbow was more than able to dance around the attacks like they were in slow-motion.
“You’re too slow!” Rainbow mocked, striking Rarity hard with a swooping pillow maneuver.
The fashionista gasped for breath, struggling to maintain the panic swelling in her chest. “We could use some help over here!”
“Ah’m on it, Sugarcu— ACK!” Applejack was knocked back mid-dash from several yards away. As her eyes found the source of the interruption, her eyes widened with terror.
“You wanna play rough?” Pinkie asked as she slammed her hoof on the party cannon. The grin on her face terrified the farm pony. “Say hello to my little friend!”
“What in tarnation are you— GWAH!” Applejack barely avoided the shot from the high-impact pillow shell, a feathery explosion erupting where she had stood a moment ago.
“Dance, Motherbucker, dance!” Pinkie cackled madly as she constantly fired off shots, each blow winding Applejack or knocking her into the floor.
Chrysalis hissed with frustration. If she had a chance to deal with Twilight alone, there might have been a chance to fight back. But Starlight’s teamwork was far too difficult to overcome, the two interchanging attack patterns to throw her off. She could sense the anguish and desperation of her team, morale dropping to bleak levels. If this went on for too much longer, surrender was inevitable.
“Fall back!” Chrysalis ducked under a pillow thrown by Starlight and Twilight as she dashed in for her team.
Twilight wasted no time issuing countermeasures. “Pinkie, suppressive fire on Chrysalis! Rainbow, intercept! Starlight, Blizzard Pattern!”
Within seconds, pillows rained down in a hail of fluffiness upon Chrysalis’s team thanks to Twilight and Starlight’s combined magical talents. Combined with Pinkie’s rapidfire strikes and Rainbow’s quick and vicious swooping attacks, there was no safe position to hide from the ensuing barrage.
After recovering from some particularly brutal pillow blows, Rarity levitated several pillows to erect a shield to weather the attacks. Rainbow attempted to interrupt Rarity, only to get knocked out of the sky by Applejack’s deadly precision, causing her to crash on the ground. Catching on, Chrysalis picked up several pillows and followed Rarity’s tactics to protect the flank. This left Fluttershy to cover blind spots and guide everypony and Applejack to deal with anypony that got too close.
“This way! Curve left! No, no, too far! Now right! Hurry, through here!” Fluttershy cried as she tried to direct the group. Once they were out of Twilight’s line of sight, it came down to running for their lives, putting as much distance between them as possible. Were it not for Applejack’s and Chrysalis’s expert precision to focus down Rainbow Dash, escape would have been all but forsaken.
Even as they barely manage to put distance between them, the shouts from Twilight’s group reverberated throughout the castle.
“Engage breach and clear maneuvers! Don’t let them escape!”
“You girls are going down!”
“FLUFFS FOR THE FLUFF GOD! FEATHERS FOR THE FEATHER THRONE!”
Chrysalis realized then she was in for a long night.
“Huff… huff… I think we’re… safe for now,” Chrysalis heaved for air as she sat with her back to the closed door. Her team slumped onto the floor, hungrily gasping for air.
“Ah don’t think ah’ve ever seen Twilight get this crazy in a pillow fight before! She’s somethin’ else!”
“I couldn’t agree more,” Rarity wiped sweat off her brow. “Their offensive strength and teamwork is simply devastating.”
Fluttershy was shockingly calm despite the terrorizing assault from Twilight. “I haven’t been part of a pillow fight that intense since the one we had with Discord and Angel.”
This gave Chrysalis pause. “As in, you all had a pillow fight with the Lord of Chaos and the rabbit?”
“Aw shucks, I remember that! I almost died!”
Chrysalis snapped her eyes to Applejack. “What?”
“It was quite the close call! Who knew Angel could do so much damage with pillows? It took over a week to rebuild that half of Ponyville,” Rarity laughed.
Fluttershy giggled. “To be fair, I was so invested in our duel, I hadn’t noticed how much damage I’d contributed. Thankfully nopony was hurt.”
“Wha—but—how did...ugh,” Chrysalis groaned, deciding it was likely better to not ask. “Nevermind that nonsense. We need to stay focus on the fight ahead of us. This position won’t be safe for long.”
At the reminder, Fluttershy, Rarity and Applejack took a collective, depressed sigh.
Applejack flopped back, tipping her stetson over her eyes. “Not sure how we’re gonna get out of this one. Ah’m a good shot and all, but I can’t beat Pinkie’s party cannon. That thang packs a wallop.”
Rarity nodded. “Too true. And my magic may be good, but it can’t compare to powerhouses like Twilight or Starlight. In terms of raw power, I admit, I’m at a disadvantage.”
“I may not be as fast or strong as Rainbow Dash, but, um…” Fluttershy’s brow scrunched together, deep in thought. “I-I know everypony’s tickle spot! Maybe that can help?”
“No. No it won’t.” Chrysalis sighed. So much for having a competent team. Normally, an underpowered team simply meant they would have to utilize changeling tactics to ambush and attack the weak link. The problem was Twilight, who was not only privy to such tactics, but knew exactly how to counter them. With both power and tactical advantage, the situation was growing bleaker by the second. There had to be an angle somewhere, but it wasn’t coming to mind.
As Chrysalis thought about it, she realized that this was the first time she'd ever took part in a pillow fight. She knew nothing of the rules or win conditions. “Alright, I need one of you to tell me all the rules to this pillow fight game. I imagine simply hitting each other with pillows is not the only way to play.”
The uncertainty on everypony’s faces made Chrysalis even more worried.
Rarity spoke first. “Well, to be honest, the only real rule is to not actually hurt another pony, and only use pillows to fight. It’s not a very complicated game.”
“Alright, so how do we win?”
“Beat the tar out of the other team until their team leader surrenders. That’s about it,” Applejack answered flatly.
Chrysalis paled. “So the only way to win is to make the other team give up? As in, making Twilight Sparkle, the very definition of willpower, surrender?”
“Eyup.”
Chrysalis grimaced, throwing her hooves up in frustration. “That’s going to be impossible! Do you know how long I’ve tried to bend Twilight to my will?”
Applejack tipped up her hat just enough to toss Chrysalis a suspicious gaze. “Ah have a question about that phrasin’ there, Chrysalis.”
“Not important,” Chrysalis waved off quickly, “what’s actually important is finding out how to deal with Twilight.
“Twilight did seem super determined to beat you this time. Making her surrender is going to be a doozy,” Fluttershy said.
Chrysalis fell quiet. That did not help. Her shoulders slumped down, and she gazed up forlornly at the ceiling. Having been beaten so soundly, the idea of giving Twilight a ‘freebie’ win crossed her mind, in hopes of playing a game that had a leveled playing field.
“U-um, Chrysalis?”
“What is it?”
Fluttershy rubbed her hooves together, glancing shyly at her. “I, um, want to apologize for misjudging you.”
This caught everypony’s attention, but most of all Chrysalis, who blinked, tilting her head in confusion. “Where did that come from?”
“I was just thinking that tonight has been the most fun I’ve had in a sleepover for a long time, and it’s all thanks to you making things so interesting. Everypony is having so much fun, a-and when Twilight told us we would all be stuck together, I thought you were going to be super scary. But it turns out that you’re super fun to be around, and are surprisingly kind. So, I’m sorry.”
Chrysalis stared at her dumbly. Her jaw slowly dropped down, until she pulled it back up so quickly it made a light clack. What was with this pony? Fluttershy? Fluttershy was the one coming out to… apologize to her? Of all the ponies to be troubled by her presence, she expected the shy mare to be at the top of the list. Truthfully, she thought she might have simply huddled underneath the proverbial bed when the pillows began flying.
She cleared her throat, but when she spoke, her voice was low, and hesitant. “P-please, there’s nothing kind about me.”
“Oh puh-lease, you don’t have to act tough about it,” Rarity giggled. “The way you praised Fluttershy back in Secret Moon spoke volumes for your character. Sure, you may need some lessons on proper etiquette, especially in spas, but I have begun to see the warm lovebug burrowed underneath that carapace.”
Chrysalis’ lips pursed into a thin line. She crossed her forehooves and huffed, averting her gaze. “Hush. I’m just merely playing nice for Twilight’s sake. There’s no ‘lovebug’ to be found anywhere under my carapace.”
Applejack chuckled. “Heh, look at you, gettin’ all embarrassed. Ain’t no shame in droppin’ the tough gal act when you’re among friends. You might be The O’mighty Queen Chrysalis to yer hive or royalty, but to us, you can just be yourself and live a little. You’re among friends ya can trust, Chrysalis, and we would love to do this with ya next time we hold a sleepover.”
Chrysalis huffed again, puffing her cheeks stubbornly. “C-Confound you ponies and your silly speeches.”
An awkward pause followed. She didn’t have to look to tell they were grinning like idiots at her. Chrysalis thought back to all the times she avoided interacting with them after Twilight showed her the path of friendship. All those awkward attempts at attempting to play nice, only for her to do something to screw it up. For the longest time, she considered Twilight to be her only pony friend.
Warming up and being more ‘open’ with Twilight’s friends was like dipping a hoof into a cold pool on a hot summer day. Though Chrysalis preferred to keep her circle of friends strictly small, she found herself growing slightly more comfortable at the prospect of expanding that circle.
But only a little bit.
And definitely not because of their silly, endearing friendship speeches.
“Fine. Since you all are so bloody adamant about it, I’ll entertain this idea. But for now, we need to focus our efforts on defeating Twilight and her squad.”
“Oh, right, we still have to beat Twilight, don’t we? We’ve certainly let ourselves get distracted.” Rarity laughed.
The word ‘distracted’ rang a bell in Chrysalis’ mind. A distraction. Making Twilight surrender. Twilight was a formidable opponent, especially with her friends backing her up. But if Twilight was taken away from her friends...
Her eyes lit up as a beautiful, terrible plan formed in her mind. If this worked, she would have Twilight isolated and all to herself.
“So just to make absolutely sure; if I make Twilight surrender, we win, right?” Chrysalis asked.
“Eyup. That’s the rules,” Applejack nodded.
“Perfect. If all goes well, I can do that. The only issue is the others. I can’t deal with Twilight while the others are there to provide support.”
“You leave that small detail to me, my dear,” Rarity laughed haughtily. “You stay focused on taking care of Twilight while we take care of the rest.”
Applejack tossed Rarity a deadpanned gaze. “It’s kinda scary watching you two scheme together like a pair of thieves preparin’ a heist.”
“This is getting so interesting! I feel like a supervillain plotting against a bunch of heroines!” Fluttershy giggled, her wings fluttering with excitement.
“Well now, color me impressed, Rarity,” Chrysalis bared her gleaming fangs, wearing an evil grin. “You and I make a better duo than I expected.”
Rarity flicked her mane back, a devious smile dancing on her lips. “I couldn’t agree more. Once in a while, it feels good to let your mane down and be just a little naughty. You, of all ponies and changelings alike, would surely understand this.”
“Wiser words have never been said.” Chrysalis smiled, locking eyes with the cunning fashionista. “You can be my scheming partner anytime, Rarity.”
“No, Chrysalis,” the heat in their gaze intensified, “you can be mine.”
“Oookay, this is getting a little too weird for me. Let’s get to planning already.” Applejack interrupted.
At the interrupting, Chrysalis and Rarity averted their gazes, chuckling nervously. Fluttershy sighed, disappointed.
“Oh. Aha. Right. The planning. Let’s do that. Ahem,” Rarity feigned clearing her throat. “Let’s start with how you plan on distracting Twilight, Chrysalis.”
Getting her head back into dealing with Twilight, Chrysalis nodded. “It’s rather simple. I just have to do what I do best: hunt like a Changeling.”
Despite the aggressive start to this game, Twilight was no fool when it came to dealing with Chrysalis. Her time spent suffering Chrysalis’ shenanigans had taught the princess a variety of changeling tricks and tactics on how they approach prey. Though she swore to keep the majority of these a trade secret as a sign of trust that such tactics wouldn’t be used against ponykind, this didn’t mean Twilight wouldn't use the knowledge to defend her team as they took down the tyrant hive queen. It was a bold strategy, but Twilight had the perfect counter in mind to deal with her.
“We’re going to just wait for her to come at us? But that’s so boring!” Rainbow wailed, hovering just above the group.
“I know. And believe me, I would love to just go and beat the tar out of her,” Twilight agreed, “but Chrysalis will no doubt be laying down a trap to deal with us. She’ll get impatient and come at us eventually. That’s when we will spring our own trap.”
Starlight blinked, giving her mentor a curious look. “Hey Twilight, I know you’re really into winning this thing and all, but I really can’t remember the last time you really wanted to ‘beat the tar’ out of somepony.”
Pinkie took this time to chime in. “Well, there was this one time somepony called Celestia 'Princess Sunbutt', and Twilight threatened to beat the shi—”
“—aaanyway,” Twilight interrupted quickly, “this plan will work for sure. Just don’t forget to stick together and remember our signals. Stay in the Apex Formation, check your corners and don’t take any chances.”
“I think somepony’s been reading her brother’s Royal Guard training manuals a bit too much,” Starlight commented under her breath.
The sudden sound of sparks and shattering glass echoed all over the castle, everyone but Twilight springing to action with pillows ready. As the sounds grew louder, light in the castle grew dimmer by the second. Tension thickened.
“Stand down,” Twilight ordered. “This is part of Chrysalis’ plan to draw us out. She’ll shut down the lights and attempt to blind us. Unfortunately for her, Starlight and I could easily provide light sources. Combined with Pinkie’s inability to be surprised and Rainbow’s great reflexes, any ambush attempts will easily be foiled.”
Several more lights popped, forcing Twilight and Starlight to spark lavender and teal light sources from their horns respectively. The only lights left were in the initial halls leading to the council room her squad stayed in. Twilight attempted to listen for any clopping on the hard crystal floor, but to no avail. Chrysalis was being careful, which was expected.
“We’ll wait a little longer, then proceed carefully while checking one room at a time,” Twilight advised. “It’ll be a little slow, but that will make Chrysalis nervous. If we keep this up, we will win without any casualties.” Though her friends looked uncertain, Twilight knew her plan was rock solid. Chrysalis would likely try some foolish attempts to provoke her into attacking. But Twilight was determined to beat Chrysalis, no matter the cost. Absolutely nothing would deter her to break this perfect strategy.
“Um, is this magic working? Can everypony hear me?”
The team jumped up, alert. The projected voice echoed from down the hallway, emanating from an unknown but clearly distant origin.
“Hold up. Is that… Fluttershy?” Rainbow asked.
“Somepony must be using a Vox spell to amplify her voice. But the question is, why?” Starlight pondered.
Twilight’s eyes narrowed. “Probably an attempt to taunt us into finding her. Don’t fall for it.” Her squad nodded, gripping their pillows tighter with anticipation.
“Chrysalis gave me this really interesting book and asked me to read everypony a bedtime story. Don’t worry, this was written by Twilight, so I know it will be a good story to read. Oh, this is exciting. I get to do a dramatic reading for everypony! Yay!”
Rainbow chuckled. “Fluttershy’s gonna tell us a bedtime story? I dunno about you all, but this seems like a really lame attempt to taunt us. Bet she’s trying to put us to sleep over something. But it’s something Twilight wrote, so she’s probably hit the mark on that.”
“Hey!” Twilight gave Rainbow a withering glare.
“Alright, everypony, I will now be reading ‘Celestia’s forbidden love’ by Twilight Sparkle.”
All eyes turned to Twilight, who paled, shrinking in on herself like a prune.
“Ohoho, been holding out on us, eh?” Pinkie gave Twilight a playful nudge on the side. Twilight remained unresponsive, wide-eyed and sweating bullets.
“Okay, trick or not, I just gotta hear a romance story written by our favorite Egghead.” Rainbow rubbed her hooves with anticipation.
Starlight hummed thoughtfully to herself. “This title sounds kinda familiar. Not sure why, though.” Noting that her mentor was started to look stressed-out and anxious, she frowned. “Are you alright, Twilight?”
“Y-yeah, I-I-I’m totally fine. Chrysalis isn’t going to get me. No siree!” Twilight said, moreso to herself.
“I approached the bed chambers as ordered by the beautiful and illustrious princess of the kingdom, trembling with excitement with every step. It’d been so long since she had offered to teach me new, wonderful things. But this was not going to be like other lessons.
Tonight, my princess warned, I was going to learn a lesson that only a chosen few in history was ever privy to know. Something forbidden for anypony else, and could only be taught to me when everypony else was asleep.”
The sound of chewing caught Twilight’s attention. She looked back to see Pinkie stuffing her muzzle with popcorn, and sharing a theatre-sized tub with Rainbow and Starlight. All three stared at Twilight with piqued interest.
“I-I, erm, t-that is…” Twilight gulped, heat burning off her cheeks. “T-this totally isn’t what it sounds like.”
“Uh huh. I totes believe you,” Pinkie said nonchalantly as she chewed through another hooffull of popcorn. “Don’t mind us, just listening to some totally-not-smut written by definitely-not-Twilight.” The others nodded in agreement, wearing equally unconvincing expressions.
“S-s-s-smut? What are you talking about? This definitely isn’t—”
“As I opened the door to the chamber, the sight of my princess on the mattress stole my breath. She laid on her side with the moonlight washing over her smooth white coat. There were no regal garments on her tonight, only a smile and seductive stare that stirred something wild inside me. I hesitated, paralyzed by her beauty.
“Come to me, my faithful student,” she spoke with a low, demanding tone that left little to the imagination. “It’s time to learn your next friendship lesson.”
My breathing was labored as I nodded numbly, and, lost in a trance, I followed her command. Every instinct in me told me this was wrong. However, there was no denying what she wanted, and no longer could I deny what my body craved more than anything.
The moment my hoof touched the mattress, Celestia closed the distance, seizing the back of my head with her hoof as she kissed me aggressively. I melted at the touch of my lips, returning her kiss with equal ferocity.
What lasted for seconds felt like years as we parted, leaving me breathless. I blinked, not realizing that in the heated moment of passion, she had pulled me onto the mattress, laying me on my back. Celestia climbed on top of me, her predatory stare making me shiver with anticipation.
“Now,” Celestia growled, “open yourself to my will, my faithful student.”
“Y-yes, my princess. My body is yours.”
Unable to restrain myself, I thrust my head upward to capture her lips as Celestia slid her hoof down to my—
“W-we have to find Chrysalis, everypony! We can’t wait any longer!” Twilight commanded, though it drifted more closely to frantic panicking.
“Awww,” everyone pouted.
“Don’t ‘awww’ me! Stay focused on the mission!” Before anypony could say otherwise, Twilight charged forward, a mixture of rage and embarrassment waging war in her rapidly beating chest. Thankfully, her friends were keen to her movements and quickly followed, struggling to keep pace.
“We were about to get to the good part, too!” Pinkie whined.
Rainbow shrugged. “It was starting to sound pretty good. Could use some work on building up the setting more, though.”
“I know, right?” Starlight started. “I wouldn’t have minded more build-up to the sex, though. Just going straight for it at the start sounds really cheesy.”
“I would love to see some chemistry to make the romance believable,” Pinkie agreed. “Also, I’m willing to bet Celestia would be all for being the bottom mare. She would make sure her students were able to provide practical application of their lessons, if you know what I mean~”
“ENOUGH!” Twilight roared, her entire coat burning red from intense blushing. “Just get off it, already!”
Pinkie wore a look of uncertainty. “I would, but it’s really awkward when other ponies are watching you—”
“Stop, stop, STOP! Just focus on Chrysalis, and absolutely nothing else!” Twilight’s voice cracked in a shriek. Getting the message, they nodded eagerly and did not speak further on Fluttershy’s dramatic readings.
At least, not while Twilight was looking.
Far enough from the council room, the team was plunged into a thick darkness with occasional streaks of light flowing in from the windows, Twilight and Starlight being the only visible light source. Per Twilight’s suggestion, the mares walked in a close-knit formation. Rainbow hovered nervously just above the group while Starlight took up residence as the rear guard, eyes cautiously checking every shadow and suspicious corner. Twilight took the lead, leaving Pinkie in the middle, acting as an enthusiastic center to help keep everypony’s spirits up.
“I think I saw something like this in a slasher flick once! A group of mares lost in a spooky mansion and are picked off one-by-one by a crazy serial killer! Great movie!” Pinkie chirped, not an ounce of concern in her voice as her friends stiffened.
Twilight facehoofed. “You had one job, Pinkie. Just one job…”
At least Starlight, privy to Chrysalis’ behavior, did not seem bothered by the unsettling atmosphere affecting the other mares. “Now that you mention it, Pinkie, these are some pretty smart tactics. Chrysalis would make a great murder— agh!” She gasped as she received a strong, magical poke in her side, courtesy of a disgruntled Twilight.
“Not. Helping.” Twilight hissed. The last thing she needed was for her friends to freak out and break formation. As long as they stayed together and kept calm, Chrysalis could not slip in through their defenses very easily. “We need to focus. Knowing Chrysalis, she will try to capture us one by one, and will use any means she can to distract us. Whatever you do, don’t break formation, no matter what.”
“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Rainbow said. Despite the brave face she tried to put on, her brow was coated in sweat, and her eyes darted about rapidly.
SLAM!
One of the nearby doors swung open with a burst of force, rattling both the walls of the castle, as well as the nerves of the ponies. They froze, waiting on Twilight’s word , until she isolated the door that was slammed: Spike’s room.
Twilight took a deep breath to calm her heart. Chrysalis really was going all out to catch them off guard. “She’s most likely inside this room, but we can’t let our guard down. Pinkie and I will take point. You two watch our flanks.” Once the mares gave their approval of the formation, the two point mares kicked opened the door and dashed in, pillows at the ready. Rainbow and Starlight quickly followed inside, watching the rear closely.
Outside the use of Twilight’s magic to generate light, the windowless room was pitch-black. Once she was able to find the small, messy mattress in the corner of the room covered in comic books and gems, she recognized Spike’s room.
“Doesn’t look like Chrysalis or her team is in this room.” Pinkie said as she went about checking under Spike’s bed.
“Don’t let your guard down. Just because the others aren’t in here doesn’t mean Chrysalis isn’t. Changelings can not only look like other ponies, but some objects as well. Size and complexity vary depending on magic level and experience, and while there are a few physical limitations, there’s no telling where she is—”
“Oh my gosh! Twilight!” Pinkie gasped from under the mattress, her body half buried in it.
“What is it? Did you see something suspicious under the bed? Is it Chrysalis?”
Pulling herself from underneath the bed, Pinkie flashed a wide grin as she waved a magazine in front of her. “Depends. Can she look like a first edition June issue of Playcolt?”
“Seriously? Hot damn! Go Spike!” Rainbow hurried over to Pinkie’s side, looking at the magazine with her. Starlight simply shrugged and followed suit.
Curious, Twilight took the book from Pinkie and flipped through the pages. The pony on the cover was a vaguely familiar unicorn with a milk-white coat she could have sworn she had seen keeping Fancy Pants company on occasion. Twilight briefly wondered if Spike was getting interested in high society culture. “Huh. Thinking about it, I recall Chrysalis giving Spike this magazine. Something about mastering pony biology and getting to know Rarity, but I never did get a chance to see…” As she reached some of the more detailed pages, her jaw dropped, muzzle turning stark red.
Pinkie slipped next to Twilight to see what caused her to gawk like she did. “Oh ho ho! Gotta say, I can really dig this sort of education system! Go Spike!”
“THIS is what he had been reading?!" Twilight cried, her voice strangled until it was almost a squeak. "And Chrysalis has been supplying him with this… this filth?!”
“Hey, this isn’t filth! This is art! Look at that face! That pose! There’s nothing dirty about that.” As Pinkie leaned in to turn the page, one of the thicker pages unfolded into a large three-piece picture spread. Twilight’s pupils shrunk into pinpricks as she viewed the full size image, while Pinkie’s grin grew lecherous. “Now THIS is filthy! Hehehe!”
When Twilight peeked at the spread page, her jaw dropped, face completely flushed. “Sweet Celestia, how could anypony bend like that?!”
“Actually, if you were to move your back legs like this and limber up, you can actually—”
“Forget I asked!” Twilight yelled. Next time she saw Spike, they were going to have a very long discussion about proper reading materials for a dragon his age.
“Be careful of some of the pages. I’m sure you don’t want to find yourself in a sticky situation.” Pinkie snickered.
“Sticky situation? But why would the magazine be stick—”
Twilight froze as it suddenly clicked. The book slipped from her hooves as she stood rigidly, pure horror etched in her expression.
It was going to take a lot of alcohol to make herself forget the epiphany she'd just had.
Rainbow’s ears suddenly perked up as she looked towards the door. “Hold, everypony. You hear that?” Moving to the door, ensuring it was safe to move to the door, she waved her team to move to her position. “You might want to get out here and get a load of this!”
Twilight perked up at this. Never before had she been glad for a distraction. “I’m on my way! Pinkie, let’s go and—”
“Dang, check out the fifth leg on this stallion! He could slay a dragon with that thing...or lay one, hehehe!”
“For goodness sake, would you put that down already?!” Twilight’s voice jumped a few octaves as she used her magic to slap the magazine out of her hooves and drag the party pony out of the door. The moment she and everyone else got to the hallway, Twilight stopped dead in her tracks as soon as she heard it.
Though it was faint, she could hear the sounds of music echoing down the halls.
“That music doesn’t sound very far, though it sounds pretty familiar,” Starlight mused.
“It doesn't make sense why she would put on music, but we need to search it out; carefully. Let’s go, girls!” Twilight trotted after the source, carefully checking her corners to make sure they weren’t rushing into a trap.
As the team moved forward, the music gradually grew louder and clearer. It didn’t take long for Twilight to round the corner of the long hallway, where the source of the music emanated from.
“Aha! That music is blasting from right down this corr—” Twilight’s words died on her lips as she stared at the sight, jaw hanging agape. Once her teammates came around to her side, they were rendered just as speechless.
At the other end of the corridor, illuminated by a ray of dazzling light, was Princess Celestia. Her tall, regal form faced the squad hindquarters first, back legs spread out as her flank moved in hypnotic circles, flowing tail spinning and swishing about in sync to the music. The sultry smirk on Celestia’s face made the alluring dance all the more distracting as she sang.
“You spin me right round, Twily. Right round. Like a record, Twily. Right round, round, round~...”
Twilight, in all of her worldly knowledge and wit, knew this was Chrysalis in disguise. She knew the real Celestia would never do such provocative and taunting dances, nor would she give Twilight a look that tripled her heart rate. It was all part of some sort of scheme to distract her, a thinly veiled plot at that. She knew she couldn’t afford to let herself get distracted.
Unfortunately for her, it worked.
“Twilight, snap out of it!” Starlight waved her hoof in front of her, getting little more than an affirming grunt and twitching of fully erect wings as Twilight’s eyes stayed glued to Celestia’s waving plot. Even Starlight’s eyes found themselves occasionally drifting towards the ensnaring maw of the void.
Starlight never thought she would see the day she had to save Twilight from Celestia’s plot.
After a few seconds of indecision, Starlight found the courage to brave the deadly void, unleashing a hail of magic bolts to rain down on the position, if only to scare the disguised Chrysalis away. It worked, forcing ‘Celestia' to reposition and dash away to break line-of-sight.
“Phew!” Starlight breathed, sweating profusely. “That was too close. Celestia’s butt almost got us… wow, that’s something you don’t hear everyday. Scratch that one off the bucket list.” Facing the still-hypnotized Twilight, Starlight shook her fiercely. “Twilight, wake up!”
After copious amounts of shaking, Twilight was finally broken out of her stupor. “Huh? W-what happened? Why are my wings so stiff?”
Starlight hesitated, flushing crimson. How did one tell somepony that their mind was almost crushed by a Princess’ groovy flanks?
“Chrysalis… err… u-used a mind control spell! A crazy powerful one!”
Twilight blinked in confusion for a moment before smiling gratefully. “I see. Well, thanks for getting me out of that. Who knows how long I would’ve been stuck if you didn’t pull me out… uh, Starlight? What’s so funny?” Her expression morphed into concern as Starlight staggered, covering her mouth as she cheeks inflamed.
It took several deep breaths for Starlight to regain control. “N-Nothing. I’m just glad that I could save you from Chrysalis and her hypnotising ways— PFFFT!” Her body shook as another burst of giggles threatened to break her composure.
“Look, this is no time for funny business. If Chrysalis is using mental magic, we need to be extra careful. Rainbow, Pinkie, I’ll enchant you so you don’t… girls?” Looking back, Twilight found neither mare behind them. Panic rose in Twilight as she looked around for her other friends.
Starlight gulped, realizing she had been so distracted by the situation and Twilight, she'd neglected to check on those two. “Rainbow? Pinkie?! Where are you?”
Almost as if on cue, the screaming started.
“AH! AHHFFF, STOP, HAHA, STAHP! SHE'S GOT MEEE!"
“PFFAT TICKLESH, AH! AH! TWILIGHT! STARLIGHT! SAVE US!”
The pair nearly jumped out of their skin. Eyes wide, ears perked and alert, they scanned the darkness, but could not discern where their friends were. Their cries and helpless laughs seemed to come from everywhere at once, echoing loudly off the tall walls in the too-spacious hallway they occupied.
As quickly as the screams came, they went, and an ear-ringing silence filled the void.
Twilight and Starlight shared a blood-chilled look of uncertainty. The instinct to go after them nearly consumed Twilight. Starlight moved to follow the screams, only for Twilight to reach out and catch her hoof, emphatically shaking her head.
“I’m afraid it’s too late for them," she said grimly. "Chrysalis must have gotten them when we were spellbound.”
Starlight’s eyes lingered down the hallway, but there was no trace of their friends except the lingering echo of their cries. The hesitation lasted a few seconds before she sighed in defeat. “Damn it, you’re right. Sorry I messed up.”
Twilight shook her head. “No, I’m the one that messed up. I should’ve been more conscious of Chrysalis’ cunning so I wouldn’t have fallen for her plot.”
It took all of two seconds before Starlight broke, collapsing into a fit of uncontrollable giggles.
Twilight sighed as she attempted to bring Starlight back from her laughing fit before moving on. Though Starlight refused to admit what made her laugh so hard, Twilight had a feeling it was over something rather immature.
The next several minutes were spent moving through the castle as stealthily as possible, making sure Chrysalis couldn’t ambush her. Two members down, the odds were stacked against them. Tension was thick, every sound or clop that echoed in the castle making the two freeze up, staying on high alert.
Approaching the final corridor of the castle that hadn’t been checked yet, a lone, light-blue source of light illuminated the other end of the hall. Twilight hugged the corner and peered down the path. Standing before a large double door, poised in a relaxed stance with her horn alit, was Rarity.
Twilight halted at first, getting a pillow ready to snipe the fashionista and signalling Starlight to do get ready to attack.
“Now, girls, don’t be shy. As you can clearly see, I carry no pillows to fight with,” Rarity said, projecting her voice.
“Where’s Chrysalis? Where did she take the others?”
A teasing smile danced on Rarity’s lips. “Chrysalis is beyond this door, waiting for you, Twilight Sparkle. If you wish to face her, all you have to do is walk in.”
“How do I know this is not a trap? You could be preparing an ambush.”
“Come now, surely you know we’re smarter than to try that on you,” Rarity laughed. “Don’t be so reserved. Come to the door. I swear on my heart, this is no ambush or trick.”
Twilight hesitated, pondering her options. Fluttershy and Applejack were nowhere to be seen, so the chance it was going to be this easy was low. But seeing how Rarity showed no signs of carrying a weapon, and the only door in the hall was the one behind her, leading to an unused bedroom, she eventually found herself too curious to ignore what was going on.
Motioning Starlight to follow with a nod, the two closed the gap to meet with Rarity, eyeing every inch and corner for some cleverly concealed trap. Once Twilight realized Rarity was telling the truth, she released the breath she had been holding.
“Alright, Rarity, spill it; what’s Chrysalis up to?” Twilight demanded, narrowing her eyes.
“It’s quite simple, really. She wishes to challenge you to a duel. 'One-on-one fluffmatch,' to use her parlance. Winner takes all with no interference from other side.”
“Pfft, what? Does she think I’m that easy to trick?” Twilight laughed.
“I assure you, this is no trick. Rainbow and Pinkie were forced to be… removed, simply to ensure you wouldn’t be tempted to dishonor the challenge and make it a one-on-four. A necessary safety precaution.”
“I don’t know about this, Twilight,” Starlight rubbed her chin, casting a suspicious gaze. “This sounds very risky. I really don’t want to abandon you.”
Twilight smiled gratefully at her only remaining ally. “Thanks a lot, Starlight. I trust you to stay by my side.”
Starlight puffed out her chest proudly. “Of course. Being your faithful student and all, there’s nothing that can separate our teamwork and friendship."
“Starlight,” Rarity called out, “would you like to watch the two fight with me? Fluttershy will be making popcorn for us.”
Starlight paused to give Rarity a withering look. “Seriously, Rarity? You’re trying to bribe me with popcorn? I would have to be really shallow to fall for—”
“We’ve got white cheddar flavor~...”
After a beat of silence, Starlight turned to Twilight, pure determination on her face.
“Twilight, I’ll be rooting for you in spirit as you take on Chrysalis.”
“YOU SPINELESS TRAITOR!” Twilight bellowed.
Starlight waved her hoof in defense, smiling nervously. “C-come on, Twilight, it’s not so bad. You totally got this. I’ll even wait until you strike the first blow before I dig into the popcorn.”
“I’m walking into a room where Chrysalis is waiting for me, and you’re going to abandon me for popcorn?!” Twilight threw her hooves into the air as she cried out in frustration. “Ugh, why are all of my friends so easy to bribe?!”
“Hey, a girl’s gotta eat. Don’t worry, I’ll try to save you some when you get back.”
“You’re dead to me,” Twilight deadpanned, giving Starlight a dark, unimpressed look.
“Ahem,” Rarity cleared her throat to get Twilight’s attention, “assuming you have no further objections, Chrysalis awaits you to enter the arena.”
Stepping to the side and with showmare flair, Rarity used her magic to open the door to the chamber. An icy chill flooded out of the pitch black room, causing Twilight to shiver. Seeing there was no other choice, she kept the pillow held in her magic close as she entered the room.
Darkness swallowed Twilight as the door suddenly closed and locked behind her. Even with her horn glowing to light the way, the darkness in the room was suffocating.
Suddenly, the ceiling lights flared on, momentarily blinding Twilight. She quickly readied her pillow to attack, bracing herself for an ambush. But the blows never came. Once Twilight’s eyes adjusted to the sudden flash of light, her jaw dropped at what she saw.
The entire room had been gutted out of all furniture, replaced by piles upon piles of pillows hugging the edges, creating an empty arena in the middle. At the other end of the circular room was a massive pillow pile forming a makeshift throne. Atop of it, hind legs crossed and forehooves pressed together, was Chrysalis.
“So glad you could finally make it, Twilight Sparkle.”
Twilight’s eyes narrowed. “Chrysalis…!”
She cackled. “This is just like old times when you first stormed my hive. Braving the elements, stumbling upon my throne room, it’s really quite nostalgic.”
“Enough playing around. Where are my friends?”
“Being attended to. Don’t worry, you’ll be joining them shor-AH!” Chrysalis gasped as a pillow sailed from across the room and crashed into her cheek. She flushed, glaring at the offender. “I was in the middle of my evil monologue! Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting to-ACK!” Another pillow sailed into her from the sidelines, courtesy of Twilight’s telekinesis.
Twilight scowled beneath her glowing horn. “It’s long, boring, and cliche. Who even does evil monologues anymore?”
Chrysalis bristled. “Hmph. What would a goody-two-hoof like you know about evil monologues?”
Twilight smirked.
“You orchestrated this mess of a plan to keep me separated from my friends. One by one, you picked them off, and now have me locked in here with you. You had every opportunity to do the smart thing and beg for my mercy, but in your ignorance, cast that chance aside.”
Twilight took a step forward, lavender sparks of energy flowing around her as her horn ignited. “What you thought was an assured victory is nothing more than your first few steps into oblivion, and I am your executioner. Your fatal mistake wasn’t trapping me in here with you. It’s you trapping yourself with ME!”
With a stomp, electricity rippled across the floor and washed over the room, prickling Chrysalis’s carapace. Silent tension followed for a moment as Twilight held her confident smirk, Chrysalis staring, lips parted, as if she was caught in a daze.
“...Take me.”
Twilight paused. “What?”
“I-I said fight me!” Chrysalis growled out and hopped off her throne, sliding into a crouch. A tint of red appeared in her cheeks.
“I’m pretty sure you just said-GAH!” Twilight yelped as a telekinetically-assisted pillow slammed into the back of her head.
“Quit your blubbering and fight me already!” Chrysalis’ blush intensified as she grabbed a pillow in her hoof, which then glowed a furious green under her magical aura, and dove towards Twilight.
Twilight slipped under the attack and countered with an upward strike, sending the queen reeling back. This allowed Twilight to score several more blows with a series of lightning fast assaults before Chrysalis was able to block with her hooves, summoning more pillows to aid her. To dodge the onslaught, Twilight took into the air, utilizing her aerial mobility to dodge and block incoming fire while launching pillow bombardments of her own.
Chrysalis proved faster than Twilight expected, also taking into the air with her rapidly fluttering gossamer wings. Twilight attempted to stop her charge with a well-placed pillow shot. This proved folly as Chrysalis ripped the pillow out of the air mid-flight and charged straight for Twilight, staggering her with a pillow slap to the face. The strength of the blow stunned Twilight long enough for Chrysalis to channel several more floating pillows, causing them to whirl around the room like a feathery whirlwind.
The moment Twilight recovered, she was forced to dodge pillows flying at her from all directions. With Chrysalis pressuring her further with relentless attacks, Twilight was put on the back hoof, barely able to defend herself from the heavy strikes while also avoiding the quicker pillow strikes from the fluff storm. But Chrysalis got too cocky, charging up an overhead strike for a decisive, but ultimately slower blow. Slipping under the attack, Twilight grabbed Chrysalis’ back hooves, spun her round and round like a top, and threw her into a corner of densely filled pillows, creating an explosion of feathers.
Now that Twilight had a moment to breathe, she channeled her magic to lift several dozen pillows into the air, creating her own torrent of magically guided missiles. Knowing she only have a few scants seconds to prepare, she grabbed two pillows out of the air, gripping one in each forehoof with an iron grip.
“It’s over, Chrysalis! I have the high ground!” Twilight sneered.
“You underestimate my power!”
Twilight noticed too late the shadow cast on the ground below her.
Mild discomfort exploded on the back of her head, stars filling her vision. Twilight was sent spiraling into the same pile of pillows where Chrysalis had been seconds ago. Twilight emerged out of the pillows with a magical burst, sending them sailing down onto the floor, and glared up at Chrysalis. She was about to rush at her to rejoin the battle when she noticed her weapon of choice.
.
The pillow was triple the length and density of the normal pillows, covered in a high quality cloth featuring a rather familiar yet provocative image of Celestia that made Twilight’s face light up red.
“W-w-where did you get that pillow?!”
Chrysalis’ grin widened. “Oh, this little thing? I just happened to find it stuffed away in a lonely vault hidden beneath the castle. Conveniently next to that lovely bedtime story Fluttershy is reading to your friends as we speak.
Twilight bristled, wings flaring in outrage. “Surrender that pillow and the book… w-whichisdefinitelynotmine!”
“Oh no. I think I’ll keep this. This pillow is just so soft and warm.” Chrysalis kissed Celestia’s face on the pillow, smirking at Twilight’s deepening frown. “Feels just like the real thing, too.”
With an angry growl and a burst of energy, Twilight soared into the sky, flying straight at Chrysalis with blinding speed. Chrysalis barely had enough time to block the attacks, the strength of her oversized pillow matched only by the speed of Twilight’s double pillow barrage.
The two clashed continuously in the air, occasionally using the floating pillows around them as makeshift projectiles to unbalance each other. Though Twilight was able to get in more blows with her swift dual-wielding pillows, the stopping power of Chrysalis’ body pillow more than made up the lack of speed and accuracy. Despite each side scoring several staggering blows on each other, neither was willing to relent to the other.
Then, in a display of lightning-quick reflexes brought on by pure adrenaline, Twilight feinted a horizontal strike at Chrysalis' legs, forcing her to pull her guard in to avoid being imbalanced; momentarily leaving her sneering head exposed. Twilight then twisted her other pillow in the air to whistle through the opening, soundly smacking Chrysalis' head with a profound pomf.
The Changeling queen let out a grunt of surprise, dazed by the sudden blow. Twilight surged forth with a wave of magical force that manifested in a second layer of overglow around her horn, overwhelming Chrysalis' hold over her own pillows like water displacing oil. “I’ve had enough of this game! Playtime’s over, Chrysalis!” she exclaimed triumphantly. Further pressing the advantage, Twilight also grabbed the remaining pillows on the ground and gathered them into her grip, flourishing the depth of her magical prowess.
“This night has been interesting, but your winning streak ends here. Any last words, Chrysalis?” Twilight sneered, almost able to taste the victory looming over the horizon.
Chrysalis sucked in a breath and shook the daze out of her head. Every single pillow that wasn’t held onto a hoof hovered around her, poised to drown her in fluff. She shot Twilight a glare, eyes burning with determination.
There was no boasting. No posturing. No threats or false bravado. Battered, weakened, and at a clear disadvantage, the changeling queen only had one thing to say to the Princess of Friendship.
“Suck. My. Teats.”
“RAAAAAAAH!” With an earsplitting roar, Twilight unleashed her full barrage, every pillow in the room surging towards her at full power.
Chrysalis sucked in a breath and closed her eyes, her body pillow gripped with both hooves held at her side like a blade ready to strike.
The pillows closed in.
Her eyes snapped open, and a blood-curdling war cry ripped from her lungs.
With speed and ferocity that rendered Twilight speechless, Chrysalis spun her weaponized pillow and struck down every pillow flowing at her. The body pillow flailed and whirled around her like a barrier of pure feathery fury, the pillow assault unable to penetrate her impeccable defense.
Twilight, for a moment, was slack-jawed.
“So cool…! I-I mean, TAKE THIS!” She channeled even more magic, quickly turning into a third layer encircling her horn, and the pillow barrage doubled in speed and power.
That opportunity was all Chrysalis needed.
Chrysalis teleported in front of Twilight, who only had a chance to scream as Chrysalis unleashed her ultimate attack.
“This is the end for you! SHINING SUNBUTT BARRAGE!”
Twilight was mercilessly struck full-force by the body pillow. The blow sent Twilight flying backwards, only to get knocked upward by Chrysalis, who teleported again. Then slammed to the side. Followed by getting smashed downward. Then upward. Left. Right. Down. Up. And finally, with a battle cry, she unleashed a final overhead strike. All Twilight saw before the blow hit was Celestia's lasciviously lifted tail and bedroom-eyed smile.
POMF!
The crushing force sent the beaten-down princess crashing into the ground, where some of the pillows had conveniently fallen to cushion her fall.
Twilight struggled to stand on her hooves, staggering and gasping for air. She was thankful that Chrysalis too had expended substantial stamina, catching her own breath rather than seizing the advantage. Chrysalis’s combo attack had stunned her out of her hold on the surrounding pillows, and when she attempted to grasp them again, she realized there was resistance.
She paled at the implications, daring herself to look up.
Exhausted, but smirking victoriously, Chrysalis hovered above Twilight, all of the pillows in the room except for the two in Twilight’s sweaty hooves captured in her magic.
"Foolish pony, I have you right where I want you!" Chrysalis cackled. “I’ll give you one chance to surrender to me before I commence the full wrath of the pillow swarm upon you!”
Despite the harrowing position she found herself in, Twilight smiled.
"Oh, Chryssi,” purple magic began to burn off Twilight’s horn and eyes, electricity rippling through her body. “When you will ever learn to stop putting your hoof in your mouth?"
Chrysalis and Twilight held each other’s gazes as they hesitated. A pregnant silence filled the charged air as they gathered themselves for the clash.
Suddenly, with a load roar, the two charged at each other and—
“—then they kissed. The end.” Fluttershy concluded, smiling shyly at her audience from her seat in the council room. The five other mares stomped their hooves in applause, each of their faces burning red.
“Boy howdy, now that was sexy! Who knew Twilight could write these kind of stories?” Applejack fanned herself with the stetson.
“I totally called it. Twilight’s gonna be a super freak in the bed.” Pinkie smirked.
“Oh my. I simply don’t know whether to be proud or concerned of her, ahem, creativity in such matters. I may have to talk to her and compare notes.” Rarity muttered the last sentence to herself.
“The story is decent and all, but I’m ready to check out the fight with Chrysalis and Twilight like Rarity promised.” Rainbow said. Starlight nodded in agreement, too busy chewing on popcorn to speak.
Rarity nodded. “Indeed. After we ‘captured’ you two, Chrysalis told me to wait a bit before unveiling the fight. Preferring to ‘soften’ her up first to put on a good show, as she put it.”
“I’m just glad we don’t have to beat each other up with pillows anymore.” Fluttershy smiled gratefully.
“Not that it would’ve stopped you,” Pinkie shrugged. ”Chrysalis pulled you off really good when she was reading that story at the start. Totally didn’t expect you and AJ to ninja us like that with that really awesome distraction.”
Rainbow shuddered. “Don’t remind me. Note to self: never mess with Fluttershy in a tickle fight.”
“Yeah, that took me by surprise. Almost as much as Twilight going so crazy over winning this game. And here I thought me and Dash were the super competitive ones. Not that Chrysalis was helpin’ any. She was fannin’ those flames more than a dry summer storm.”
Starlight laughed. “Well, I’m just happy when—"
The castle suddenly rumbled, causing everyone to jump up in their chairs.
“Did… anypony else feel that?” Starlight asked.
“I-I have a really bad feeling about this,” Fluttershy said.
Rainbow shrugged. “Please, it’s just a little bit of rumbling. How bad can it really be?”
The shaking intensified. A distant sound of crashing erupted.
“What in tarnation…?”
Rarity started sweating bullets. “W-why don’t we just take a look and see what’s going on? I’m sure everything’s fine.” Sparking her horn, Rarity conjured a light blue magical screen against the wall. Within the magic screen, an image swirled and began to take shape until a clear image of the room Chrysalis and Twilight were fighting in came to view.
Searing flames filled the room, catching onto and spreading through the countless feathers of all the destroyed pillows. Odd, rectangular impressions were embedded into the surfaces all over the room, seeming as though some pillows were thrown hard enough to actually dent the structure. The hot winds created by the flames sent sparks and stray feathers dancing in the air almost by the hundreds. Beyond the ravaged landscape and cracked floors and ceiling was a gaping hole in the wall that looked suspiciously like Chrysalis.
“I’m gonna say that bad,” Pinkie quipped, staring wide-eyed.
Rarity channeled the visual to follow the path they had taken. More holes in the walls, some in the shape of Twilight, others in the shape of Chrysalis. Each room they saw was either on fire, the ceiling collapsed, or was rendered inhospitable thanks to the wanton destruction left in their wake. Beds, dressers, and various other furniture were thrust to the side or outright broken into fragmented wooden pieces.
Another, much bigger quake rippled through the council room. Dust and small debris leaked from the ceiling.
“U-um, girls? That sound came from above us.” Rainbow commented.
The group was rendered speechless, recognizing that mistakes were made.
After a pause, Fluttershy spoke up. “So, are we gonna watch the fight, or what?”
A few seconds of hesitation later, everyone left their respective snacks and rushed up to the upper level, stepping over broken pieces of debris as they ascended the spiral staircase. The path to finding Chrysalis and Twilight was easy, as the group simply followed the broken walls and torn-up landscape.
The group arrived to see a haggard Twilight and Chrysalis, their manes messy and bodies covered in sweat, striking at each other with their respective pillow weapons at blinding speeds and force. Every strike emitted a magical shockwave that knocked back everything within a three-yard radius. They could only watch in awe as the two exchanged blows that would likely kill a lesser mare.
“I think we should do something before they destroy the entire castle,” Rarity suggested awkwardly.
Rainbow gulped. “Alright. You go in there and tell them to stop.”
Rarity gave her a look. “Do I look suicidal to you? I’m simply too young and beautiful to die.”
Chrysalis and Twilight jumped away from each other to catch their second wind. It was only then, they noticed they had an audience.
“Girls, you’re okay!” Twilight sighed with relief.
“Rarity, I told you to keep our captives out of sight! Capture them before they retaliate!” Chrysalis demanded.
“Oh no, you don’t!” Twilight growled, glaring at Chrysalis. “Girls, attack Chrysalis now! We have her on the ropes!”
“Tch, you have me on the ropes? I’ve only begun to fight seriously! You’re the one who is on her last legs!”
“I got all night to kick your flank all over the castle!”
“Please, I merely took those blows to catch you off guard! Your paltry attacks are nothing!”
“Whoa, whoa, let’s slow down here!” Starlight cut in pleadingly. “In an effort to make sure there’s still a castle left to sleep in, why don’t we call this a draw?”
“Never! I'm going to WIN!” Both Chrysalis and Twilight hissed, glaring at Starlight.
“Nopony is going to win if there isn’t a castle left afterwards! Oh boy, what a mess.” Starlight uttered a long-suffering groan.
Applejack hummed to herself, pondering a solution. Considering the number of bouts she'd had with Rainbow Dash, this no-win situation was nothing new to her. Suddenly, the perfect idea came to mind. “Ah think ah got just the tiebreaker game for you gals. Just hear me out.”
Chrysalis and Twilight said nothing, nodding slowly as they started glaring at each other, watching for any signs of movement or attack.
“In the council room, ah got us a huge crate of some zap apple hard cider. I was fixin’ on having us endin’ the evening with a relaxing drink. But if ya’ll are wantin’ to figure out who is the top mare, then I pose this challenge; whoever can outdrink the other will be the winner.”
Outside Twilight and Chrysalis, everyone else gave Applejack a look as if she just grew another head.
“AJ, why do you think that would even be a remotely good idea?” Starlight asked incredulously.
“Eh, it worked for me and Rainbow. Figured it would work for them too.”
“I know, but Zap Apple hard cider? There’s no telling how much crazier these two could get with that in their system!”
Chrysalis carefully pondered the idea. She'd never tried the drink, but every other changeling was familiar with the legendary Zap Apple hard cider. Countless regrets and cases of debauchery were caused by this alcoholic beverage. To subject herself to such a drink seemed far too reckless, even for her.
However, noting that Twilight’s friends—her friends—were concerned for the wellbeing of Twilight’s home, this made Chrysalis at least consider the idea. Considering that they, at least the three who talked to her, did not view her as a completely unlikeable menace, she figured she could at least give them the same courtesy. Not that they had to know that, of course.
What truly influenced her decision was the chance to witness the mares falling to its influence. Primarily Twilight. That alone negated the concern of how the drink might affect her own conscious state.
“Fine. I’ll accept this.”
“Hold on, are you serious?!” Twilight exclaimed. “Zap Apple hard cider is way too risky! I, for one, would rather finish you here and now than settle the tiebreaker in such a dangerous game!”
I’m sorry, Twilight, I think there’s something in my ear.” Chrysalis leaned her ear towards Twilight. “Could you repeat yourself? I could swear I heard you say ‘I’m too scared and feeble to challenge the almighty Queen Chrysalis to a drinking challenge.’”
Twilight fumed. She opened her mouth to speak, only to hesitate. She knew Chrysalis had never tried the drink before, and if there was ever a chance to make Chrysalis be the one to make a fool of herself, that in itself was payback enough.
Stepping towards Chrysalis, Twilight flashed her a smug grin. “You know what? I’ve changed my mind. I’ll accept this tiebreaker challenge! I’m going to enjoy watching you act like a fool!”
Chrysalis also stepped forward, glaring down at the pony before her. “It’s your funeral, Sparky. I’ll crush you in this challenge as I’ve done in the previous games.”
“Gloat all you want, but you’ll be the one begging for mercy.”
“Look at you, so overconfident. I’m going to enjoy watching you squirm.”
“I’m simply stating facts, like how I’m going to beat-uh, what?” Twilight blinked as she felt something press against the back of her head, noting that Chrysalis had also felt the same sensation with her head being pressed forward.
They both looked at the culprit, who was attempting to press their faces into each other.
“Now kiss!”
“DAMN IT, PINKIE!” They bellowed, flushing crimson.
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This fic never ceases to get more and more entertaining. I definitely need more fics that I can describe to my friends as such:
Twilight and Chrysalis have a pillow duel, in which Chrysalis finds and brandishes Twilight's secret Celestia dakimakura as a weapon against her.
Its good not sure why I didn't upvote it earlier
have this instead
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/12/30/1055509__safe_oc_oc+only_pony_what+has+science+done.jpg
Pure... fucking gold
This is a grand tale of epicness!
So damn good show so far, hehehe
Seriously, this is one of the best fanfics I've read. If it's not the intrigue and mystery of Secret Moon game play it's the comedy of fluttershy reading Twilight's clopfic of her and Celestia out loud. This is pure fucking GOLD.
This chapter was goddamn amazing. Please, give us more!
8369559
Heh, fabrics.
This. This right here.
I fucking lost it at "Take me."
Gah, so many ship-teases.
Fluttershy ships it.
Oh, that's what Chrysalis was quoting in chapter one.
Hah! Seriously great.
XD My sides!
Another great chapter, laughed so hard. And that was one nefarious plot. :P
'the two point mares kicked opened the door and dashed in' - kicked open
'on Twilight’s word , until she isolated the door that was slammed' - word, until
'Noting that her mentor was started to look stressed-out and anxious, she frowned' - was starting
'covering her mouth as she cheeks inflamed' - feet cheeks
'I’m sorry, Twilight, I think there’s something in my ear.”' - missing quite at the beginning
This chapter is so wonderfully quotable that I don't even know where to start
Just know that it got you a favorite, and a burning desire for a romance/clop sequel. Because damn if that wasn't I've of the best action scenes I've seen - and it's about a pillow fight!
HAMON OVERDRIVE, Yare Yare Daze
Punkie is the hero we need, but not the one we deserve in this chapter.
Oh come on we all know that we want more then just them kissing.
You know, I think they're all a bit gay.
I feel sorry for Spike. He got screwed simply because Twi said he shouldn't be there.
----------------
End quotation mark
Beginning quotation mark
The 1 on 1 pillow fight that chrissy and twilight had kept bringing the cloud vs sephiroth fight from final fantasy VII: advent children to mind. Still trying to figure out which of the two was which.
“I may not be as fast or strong as Rainbow Dash, but, um…” Fluttershy’s brow scrunched together, deep in thought. “I-I know everypony’s tickle spot! Maybe that can help?”
...How do you know this, Fluttershy?
Friendship is Magic and Magic is HERESY!!!
A fanfic in Fanfiction... FANCEPTION!
Watch Our Flanks... Double meaning too
Ur Not Rorschach...
Fluffle had beat both of them
Khorne: "I AM NOT SURE WHY BUT I APPROVE OF THIS!"
"AND NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY I APPROVE OF IT"
"I said SLAY the dragon not Lay it!"
Celestia it's been forever since I've seen that. Thanks for reminding me to re watch it
Not really helping the ‘not a lesbian’ claim there Dash. Lol.
Have to say I half expected them to walk in on Chryssi and Twily, um, compromised at the end of the fight.
I can’t....
That is so evil!
I love it!
Hey! It's not cliche, it's classic!
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I've never read such a convincing pillow fight
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Neither is her hair.
OH GOD I CAN'T GET THAT IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD MY SIDES
SHES GONNA DISTRACT HER OWN TEAM
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distraction dance
Quite epic for a "harmless" pillow fun