• Member Since 14th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Piccolo Sky


I really should put something down here someday...

E

Trust me, everyone! I've been doing this for years! No matter what's come up and caught me off guard to smack me upside of the head in the past...whether it be mortgages, foreclosures, or deaths in the family...I've always made sure to make Camp Everfree the most fun any camper could ever ask for!

And this year it's going to be more fun than ever! I guarantee it! Just relax and leave everything to me... After this season, you'll never leave...

Heh, I mean never want to leave, of course.

...Don't I?

AUTHOR'S NOTE: The typos in this story are intentional. You should see why as you keep reading.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 17 )

interesting concept. Will be keeping an eye on this author to see what else she or he is able to come up with.

A marvelously executed descent into madness, along with a fascinating hypothesis. I'm very glad you chose to write this. Thank you for it.

Great story!
Makes me wonder something though.... If Gloriosa was so bent on saving her camp, and it was what she was using the geodes for in the first place...why didn't she just sell the geodes for a ridiculous amount of money?? She could literally be richer than Filthy!!

This was an excellent serious fic taking a look behind the latest movie. You fleshed the situation out beautifully.

And I agree with FanOfMostEverything--this was an absolutely terrifying look at a "descent into madness." And Sunset's asking Twilight to never ask her again what she saw inside Gloriosa "Everfree's" head was the icing on the cake.

It was just as good as I was expecting coming from you. It fits pretty well with my own head canon, and you provided some good backstory elements for Gloriosa that make a lot of sense. Thanks for this, I liked it a lot, even the chilling parts, and I usually don't go for that sort of thing.

Edit: Oh, and the fact that you wrote this in a couple days really impresses me.

kul
kul #6 · Oct 5th, 2016 · · ·

Perfect execution. The madness, the characters, the ending, all very intresting! And that last part of the story is the best frickinh explanation about all those magical funky stuff they keep pulling to sell more toys.. Magic in Humanes world are just that powerful and wild.

I think I'll adapt this to my headcanon, yes. It was de best eksplanasien fr it. Thebestthebest the best the bestt.THEBEST
TbesttbestBESt

Looking into the heart of madness is not something for the faint-hearted and it is not something that is a pleasant experience. Even more when you also see the long process of self-blame and insecurity that led the heart in question to embrace the madness when it came.

That's the real drawback of being a telepath.

I also think that, just like Sunset still sees the Demon in the mirror on her darkest days and I doubt Twilight will ever be entirely free of her fear of Midnight Sparkle, I think that, in her darkest moments, Gloriosa will sometimes hear that insane, chattering voice screeching "I'VE GOT THIS!" at her. It will fade to the background in time but it will always be a shadow on her that I don't think she'll ever really be able to escape.

This was unsettling in the best way possible. Good job.

Thank you, everyone, for all the nice comments. :twilightblush:

I was actually kind of inspired by one of Stephen King's short stories for this, who, in turn, was inspired by a short story called "Flowers for Algernon". The story is about a mentally disabled man who undergoes an experimental procedure that turns him into a super-genius, only to find out some time afterward that the process can only provide temporary results and he will just as quickly return to his formal level of cognition. The entire story is written in epistle format in the form of a progress report/diary and it helps present the idea of the protagonist's levels of cognition by the amount of spelling and grammar mistakes in each entry.

For Stephen King's own twist, he did a short story called "Survivor Type" which was also in epistle format. I won't go into the details of that story (suffice to say it's so disturbing that even King thought he went overboard...and I pretty much feel like Sunset Shimmer at the end of this story thinking about that one) but as desperation of the protagonist's situation drives him into madness, his own spelling and grammar rapidly deteriorates into insane scrawling.

After Diary of the Fallen Star, I didn't want to do journal entries again for this one because it didn't make sense that Gloriosa would stop everything to write in a journal, so I decided to cut out the middleman and just make it in her head.

Finally, one other bit of inspiration I got for this fanfic was from one of the Ultimate Spider-Man comics. In one issue Spider-Man is talking to the Green Goblin, and in the next issue the scene is shown again but this time from the Green Goblin's perspective. He was so psychotic that even his perception of real events was distorted, which was my inspiration for Rarity's lines toward the end.

Thanks again and I'm glad you all enjoyed!

I’ve got to be enough of a ‘parent’ for everythin,

Is that one supposed to be misspelt?

7620231 I really loved the format for this, I loved Flower for Algernon. It was one of the most horrifying things I've ever read. I'll definitely check out Survivor Type.

This was an excellent character piece. Bravo good sir.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Pretty good. :) The typo gimmick doesn't always work, but I like how you worked in why we were seeing the story presented that way, plus the explanation at the end is really cool. :D

7632096 Thanks.

I'm actually a little surprised people liked the ending that much. I figured everyone would think it was just "tacked on", but I didn't want to end the story with Gloriosa Daisy's last sentient thought before she was fully corrupted. I'm also surprised everyone liked my explanation so much. :raritywink:

MJP

what pissed me off about LofE is that rarity wanted to turn a dock. Into a runway. for a fashion show. at a campout


oh my god as if ruining her friend's dresses just because they made suggestions and sexualizing her teacher wasn't shallow enough

That was a fascinating look at Gloriosa. I don't understand why she's not as popular as the Dazzlings . . . Well, I do get it on some level because she's not as sultry or threatening. But I find her more to be a more interesting and sympathetic character, and one whom I'd prefer to see more in the future.

This fanfic made me feel even more for her, with her stress and desperation continuing to increase. And then the magic made her even more mentally unstable until she totally lost it.

He made up this fable on the spot about some plant monster named Gaia Everfree potentially reclaiming the camp for the forest.

I've seen a lot of fans say this, probably because Applejack said it and of course she's very trustworthy even when she's just giving her opinion, and then Sunset said essentially the same thing. But I actually like the idea that this was a legend that was passed down in their family. Perhaps it's the great grandparents and the old-timey details that make me think that they were the ones who first made up the story - or maybe they even saw something eerie that they couldn't explain.

But that's just a quibble. The only part I would really change is the ending. I like Sunset's theory about magic attaching and feeding into human desires, but it feels jarring to have these other two characters step in and tell what we learned. I think it would be more impactful if Gloriosa had been in that scene, too, and listened to what Sunset said and reacted to it. That way we would know that she learned something, and she would get a proper ending to her story other than going crazy.

Other than that, great job.

Now we need a fic showing the aftermath from Gloriosa's perspective. Like, how she copes with what happened.

7685855

I actually kind of think of I Don't Got This by MrAskAPirate as the follow up to this, even if there are some differences between our two works.

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