Visit
Trigger Warning: Suicide, bereavement, mental health problems.
A sombre mood had stolen over Celestia recently. Sunset wasn't sure why her Mom seemed a little less chipper, not her usual cheerful self. Luna too was even quieter, remaining longer hours in her basement or room.
For her part, Sunset had kept quiet. She hadn't been part of the household for long enough to know all the moods and reasons behind them. She wondered how to ask, if she should ask. It had been a few days and there looked to be continuing.
“Sunset, do you have any plans this weekend?” Celestia asked, interrupting her thoughts. They had been sat at the breakfast island in silence, Luna had taken her coffee down to the basement.
“Not really, is there something you need me for?” Sunset looked up from her breakfast. Celestia was looking at her, but the sadness was still behind her eyes.
“Luna and I have a trip to take and would like for you to come along.” Celestia reached out across the table. “We go once a year at least, especially on this weekend. We want to take you along.”
“I'll let the girls know I'm away this weekend.” Sunset replied. She wasn't sure where they would be going but it was obviously important. “Do I need to pack much?” It was only Wednesday, but if it was an activity trip she would have to ask the girls for advice on things she could need.
“No, not all. An overnight bag at the most. We will only be staying a night.” Celestia patted Sunset's hand. “Thank you.”
“It isn't a problem?” Sunset was none the wiser about whatever was going on. Taking a trip was no answer to the mood. A little confused still, she finished up her breakfast and got ready for school.
-*-
Another subdued ride to school, as the others had been that week, Sunset had a normal day. She told her friends she was away at the weekend and couldn't explain much more than a family trip. At the end of the day she got into the car with her mom, spotting Luna getting into her own car with an air of melancholy she usually did not wear at school.
“What is going on Mom?” Sunset asked, watching Luna close the car door before looking to her mother. “You both seem so sad.”
“I hoped to speak with you about it this evening.” Celestia said, “This week... It is the anniversary of our father's death.” She stumbled over the last words. “We intend to visit his grave at the weekend and we're a family now... So, I thought to bring you. You can stay at the hotel if that is more comfortable for you.” Celestia spoke in a rush.
“I'll come with you, for everything.” Sunset held onto her mother's hand a moment. “You want to include me, I want to come.”
“Thank you Sunset.” Celestia leaned across to press a kiss to her daughter's forehead. She started up the car. “I promise we can talk more about it later.”
-*-
The drive home and supper was quiet. Sunset spent her time trying to remember what she had been told of Celestia and Luna's father. There was very little she knew.
Cosmos had died when they were still young, Luna had been hit hard by it. Sunset knew her aunt had been very close to her father. Luna had slipped out once that she had nearly followed him as a teenager. Sunset was clever, she knew that meant Cosmos had, ended things. But other than Luna sharing his music and talking of gaining a love for astronomy and books from the man, she knew little.
Sat in her room, Sunset idly scribbled out lyrics in a notebook. She could really get her emotions out using song and it helped her distract her mind from waiting. A knock at her door was joined with a call. “Sunset, would it be alright to talk now?”
“Sure Mom.” Sunset stood up and her mother opened the door. She was holding a tray with the makings of two cups of tea.
“I don't mind if you don't want a cup. I prefer to have something to fidget with sometimes.” Celestia said of the tray, placing it on the desk and taking the chair. Sunset sat on her bed. “You might have to bear with me a little, I can still get upset about this.”
“Of course you would.” Sunset said, settling to listen. “I, uh, I figured that he made a choice.” She offered, broaching the subject head on. “Aunty Luna once said she almost followed him and it wasn't a real leap in thought.”
“He was unwell, issues that had followed him through school and college often reared up.” Celestia said, focusing on making a cup of tea. “He had medication and Mom was his greatest support. We all loved him and understood that he had a 'poorly mind'.” She looked to Sunset. “Schizophrenia, depression and severe OCD.”
Sunset winced at the list, they could be a struggle for anyone alone, a trio would be something else again to deal with. “He must have really fought.”
Celestia nodded. “For the longest time I hardly understood his rational, but I learned more when I was older.” She sighed, “Mom and I think it was the OCD in the end. It not only demands rote actions or something like constant hand washing, it can turn intrusive thoughts into an inescapable focus of your mind.” She pushed a hand into her hair. “He didn't leave any real note, but scrawled on some paper in his jacket were a few words.” Celesta paused and sniffed. “I won't do the bad things.” She shook her head.
“Mom?” Sunset could see tears and decided, she stood and went to the woman, hugging her tight.
“He was so loving and fun. Mom was the sensible one, she set the rules and enforced the restrictions. Dad would sneak you a candy bar when they were off-limits or figure out excuses to avoid lights out.” She chuckled amongst her tears. “Of course, he was up a lot at night. He and Luna were a real pair together. Watching the meteor showers whatever hour they were due, spotting the planets and tracing constellations all night long.” Celestia knew she had turned away from the subject at hand, but she had to remember some of the happy times.
“Aunty Luna told me about their afternoons just listening to music or reading together. What did you do with him?” Sunset asked, not wishing to push for details of this anniversary that was so close.
“Sport mostly. We loved it and I was the absolute star in his opinion. Oh, I loved to read his science and history books. We'd devour non-fiction but his taste in stories were a not my kind of thing.” Celestia took a shaky sip of tea. “We'd all watch documentaries together. Actually, it took me years to watch our favourites, after we lost him.”
Celestia put her cup down. “I was fourteen and Luna was eleven. Everything was normal, we thought. Dad had been a little more tired looking and was sleeping less. I knew he was feeling 'poorly' again as he'd apologised to the three of us for his low energy and low mood.” Sunset still held on to her mother as she listened, hugging a bit more even. “It was just like any other day. Mom went to work, Dad packed us a lunch and drove Luna and I to school. He told us he loved us and gave us both a hug and a kiss before we went into school.” A slight hitch of a sob cut her off.
“You don't need to tell me it all.” Sunset said, feeling her own eyes prickle with tears.
“No, no. I need to tell you, you told me so much of your past.” Celestia dabbed her eyes with her sleeve, the loose sweater surely chosen for it. “He didn't fetch us, which was expected. Luna had soccer after school and I had lacrosse. When we got home with Mom no one was there. Our neighbours had not seen him all day. He'd not gone to work.” A steady breath and Celestia blinked. “Mom called the police and searches were made. It took two days for anyone to find him. His car was left at a lot in the woods. Searchers found him in the trees.”
“Oh Mom.” Sunset was crying too now.
“He struggled and fought, but it is an eternal battle. Sometimes it is too bleak, the fight too tiring and the enemy looks so strong. When no one can stay your hand, you walk a path from which there is no return.” Luna was in the doorway. It was the most words Sunset had heard from her all week. She knelt beside them and joined the embrace.
“Lulu...” Celestia held onto her sister. “I had to tell Sunset.”
“That is alright, she needed to know, before our visit.” Luna looked to her niece. “I have only a small favour to ask.”
“Anything.”
-*-
The drive to Luna and Celestia's home town was only a few hours, but it was certainly emotionally taxing on this occasion. Sunset ate up shared details of places they had enjoyed as children and looked to any location Celestia pointed out as they passed.
Reaching their destination, the mood was sombre as expected. Celestia carried flowers purchased in town at a store the women were familiar with. Sunset tried to hide her unease, she had not visited cemeteries often, even in Equestria. Dutifully she followed her mother and aunt to a memorial stone.
“Hey dad.” Celestia said softly to the marker, placing the flowers neatly in a stone vase at its base. She traced the carved name with a fingertip and used her hand to sweep a few leaves from in front of it. “It has been quite a while since we've visited. Sorry. Life keeps on happening.” She paused and stood straight again.
“You're a grandpa now.” She sniffed. “Meet Sunset, you would have loved her, leather jackets and rock music all the way.” Celestia didn't look back, but she pulled a photograph from her pocket. A shot taken of the three of them, Luna and Sunset either side of her.
Stood a little way back Sunset smiled weakly and waved a little. Luna squeezed her shoulder before approaching the stone. “Hi daddy, I still miss you.” A white hand slipped into hers and the sisters held onto each other. “We've come to say hi, leave a few nice things I would have preferred to give to you.” Luna sniffed. “You know it is pretty cool being an aunt, you would have been a great grandpa.” She mused a moment, still holding hands with Celestia.
“Sunset certainly appreciates good music.” The younger sister said. “Even plays in a band.” With that Luna stepped forward and pressed her gift to the memorial. She placed it near some weather bleached disks on the stone. A Rainbooms button from Sunset to go with band buttons she had left in the past.
The sisters spoke a little, to the stone. To each other. To Sunset about their father. At the very end they made towards the car. Sunset tarried behind.
“I, um, I'm not very good at this. I never did go and visit my birth-mom or anything like that. But, uh, you have some pretty great family sir, I am so happy that I am part of it now.” Sunset carefully touched the stone. “So, uh. Bye. Grandpa.”
She ran to catch up with the pair, Sunset wasn't sure if they had seen her or not. But it wasn't a problem. It had mostly been for herself anyway. By the way Celestia hugged her close when she walked beside her Mom, Sunset guessed she might have seen her. Comforting each other was part of being a family, one she was glad for.
It had been an interesting experience. As such, Sunset started to wonder if she should take a trip herself, to visit Sunshimmer.
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very good chapter i always love when this story updates no matter the tone its always enjoyable
Oh, wow. I love this series. I hope they keep coming. I wonder what favor Luna asked. I was 19 when my father lost his battle with cancer, my brother was 15 and my sister was 14.
I wonder how Sunset will take the reveal about her mother?
I think you handled the subject well. Never known someone who did but I have examined the thoughts at length.
a sad but good chapter
It matters not HOW it happened; but whenever you lose someone very dear to your heart it can be hard to move on, and harder to realize the pain never really goes away. It is that pain, however, and all the memories we shared that in turn help us to cope and to never forget.
Really enjoying all these 'Making Family' one-shots with Sunset Shimmer and her family. If Sunset actually does go to Equestria to visit her birth mother, really hope you can add in maybe a bit with Princess Celestia talking to her. It would be a really interesting read if Sunset Shimmer brought her mother and aunt into Equestria... 2 Celestia's and 2 Luna's ... Would be very enjoyable...and add in 1 pretty purple princess with slight panic attacks and its a party. ... Maybe wait till after the visit to the cemetery, but could you imagine if Pinkie Pie found out Principle Celestia and Vice-Principle Luna were 'new to equestria' (WELCOME TO ALTERNATE REALITY PARTY) ... :3 We've had Princess Celestia visit Canterlot High to talk to Principle Celestia in "Finding Home" Would be fun to see the other side of things.
Thx for the read :)
That was an absolutely sad but also beautiful chapter. I was also thinking that at the end of finding home, you said that this would be more of a one shot book. And though you want really have major plot going on, it's an actual story.
8661893
I wondered this too. I hope you expand on that.
Just out of interest, how much are you using of Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna's canon back-story from the chapter book Wondercolts Forever?
This was a deep chapter and I love it.
Also....OH MY GOD,you made Sunshimmer Sunset's mother!?!??!? Talk about unexpected!!!
8662636
I've not read the chapter books. I sometimes wonder to try, but don't get around to it.
Thank you for the chapter.
I was half expecting her geode to act up with his final thoughts
😨 Ok now that explains why they were so quiet and why the chapter mentions these things.
Oh my he sure must of been going through a lot.
Oh my god 😰