• Member Since 13th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 8th, 2018

MiniHorse


T
Source

Princess Luna was surprised at how different she appeared when she was freed from Nightmare Moon. But it has surprised her even more how similar things continue to be between she and everypony else, especially her sister. With a child's body and a child's mood, she struggles to feel secure in an environment she thought she would always be sure of. In this swirl of emotions, Luna finds solace in the pages of an old romance. Its words, however, inspire a truly mad idea. And Shining Armor, bound by his oaths, must see through this madness 'till the very end.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 21 )

What. This is genius! :derpyderp2:

I couldn't finish the second chapter when it came to Luna teleporting them to the field I just squeed and yelled aloud "NOO DONT DO IT LUNA!!" The emotion in this story is amazing!! Ugh now I hafta go back and try to finish without getting all emotional.. THIS. STORY. IS. AWESOME!!:rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:

WAAAAHHH!!:applecry: Poor Woona..:applecry::applecry:

I Was afraid she would rape him or something.
I'm glad she didn't.

i enjoyed this chapter fellow friend.
you get 5 spike stashes from me :twilightsmile:
:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

lol. rape:rainbowlaugh:
:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

Wait, that's it? It's over? NO! The story's too good! Damn it, I want more!

This is a really good story so far. I really don't know what is going to happen next but I know it is going to be good. Well done! :twilightsmile:

This story made me feel so much emotion for Luna. It is just so sad to see someone's loneliness get the best of them. Well done!:twilightsmile:

We doth hope thoust make another installment to this story.

1000323

I'm really glad you liked it. Actually I'm glad for all of the kind words I've gotten about this story:pinkiehappy: However, don't expect a sequel. This was a one-shot, and I'm quite satisfied with leaving it that way. But, I've got another short story that I'm planning on posting soon. It's a little different and a little longer, but I've probably worked harder on it than on this story.

Thanks for reading!

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

This is a very odd story so far. I can't quite figure out Luna's motivations. There's a lot of time skipping, which sets the pacing off. The scenes skipped I really would have much rather seen than been told about. Also, there are some odd turns of phrase (like Luna dropping to the ground like an apple).

That said, there's enough here to make me want to continue. Not to mention I got lost in the story for a bit towards the middle, when they were exploring Canterlot. So it's not a poor tale by any stretch.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

I did not particularly enjoy this story.

That said, this second chapter was a marked improvement over the first, to the point where I wonder if the first chapter was even necessary in its entirety. At least I understood Luna by the end of this, even if I was spending most of the chapter going, "NO DON'T DO IT!"

What I did not enjoy was seeing Luna act like Twilight with wings and god-like power. What she did to Shining Armor was inexcusable, and I detest having to come to the conclusion that Luna is a very stupid pony. I mean, history is even on your side over that. She's childish, jealous, and makes poor decisions. I've always thought that there was something more to her than that, but I suppose there isn't, to read this fic. And that's why I did not enjoy it. What you did, you did well, however, so do not take this as condemnation, simply a negative reaction.

1035128

There was definitely a lot of things I could have added to make the story better. Part of me was trying to get a story-telling atmosphere, but a bigger part of me just couldn't think of very many ways to develop Shining and Luna's relationship:fluttershyouch: I really need to learn to focus.

I'm sorry that Luna's childishness bothered you. It was kind of the point, though. This is less a romance story than it is a story about growth. You see, the chronology of the different parts of the story is set up like 2 1 4 3 (1 being furthest back in time and 4 being the latest). I didn't want to leave Luna completely at such a low point, but I didn't want a "now i've learned my lesson, and now everything's going to be okay" type of ending either, so I started "Nightmare" with the fully-grown Luna from Season 2 to show that she could be above the behavior that was to come. Although, I think that scene should have had more to it. It was awfully vague, and not particularly thought-out.

This story was sad, beautiful and tragic. Few stories have actually brought me to the verge of tears, and I may now add yours to that short list. I love how intimate we become with Luna and her feelings. Her heart is our heart and feeling it twisted and turned by her romantic feelings for Shinning is almost too much to bear. Your descriptions and imagery are truly deserving of a great romantic story. But this is more than a romance. Its a story of development or showing that there is more to be done for Luna. Showing Luna go from freshly returned from the moon to an adult pony a year later but still young and childish in her ambitions and approach is a very interesting perspective and was presented perfectly. I can go on and on about why I think this is my new favorite of favorite stories. Bravo sir. See you in Brighter Days.

Huh. First time I've ever heard of a girl being given the "younger sister" treatment rather than the other way around.

1035049 I confess I find myself oddly reassured that someone else seemed to have the same confusion I did.

From what little I know I get the impression this is mean to be written in an older style of writing, if that's the case, from my small knowledge on the subject you seem to be doing quite well.

The downside of this however is that modern readers like myself end up confused in spots. Mostly with some of the early conversations with Luna and Celestia it was difficult to ascertain which one of them was speaking:twilightsheepish:

....KISS DAMMIT:flutterrage:

I reviewed your story tonight you can find it here

This deserves more attention. Lots of it, really. I loved it ^^ a shame there was no.. Softer or happier ending, but still beautiful

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