Magic Punch or Chaos Punch?
The centaur scowled as he fired an energy beam at the unflinching Celestia, who took the blast head on.
"...There is no way it's that simple," Rainbow Dash commented with a scowl as the smoke started to clear.
Tirek's smirk of victory turned into a snarl as he saw Celestia...lying face up on an inflatable donut...floating in a now water-filled crater...sipping from a coconut held in her lemur tail while wearing Kamina-shades and holding a sunbathing mirror in her hoof and talon. She smirked as she used her moose limb to tip down the shades, "Just who the Tartarus do you think I am?" She asked mockingly.
Unnoticed by the slacked-jawed others, Discord's wings suddenly went rigid with a growing blush on his face.
"You would be wise not to mock me," Tirek growled as he fired another beam at her.
Celestia could have casually turned the mirror to deflect the attack, but that would have been boring. Instead, she held up her coconut and let the beam shoot in through the top, then proceeded to sample the literal magic drink, "Hmm, I expected more...spice," Celestia commented toyingly, raising an eyebrow as Tirek now stood over her, "You're blocking my sun...I only now say that line?" She commented, muttering that question at the end to herself. She blinked as Tirek grabbed her by the tail and pulled her up, "Hey, hey! Hands off the fluff!" She snapped as she dangled upside down from his grip.
"Princess Celestia! Get out of there! He'll take your magic!" Rarity urged loudly, Celestia not looking phased by the advice.
"You should have listened to your subjects," Tirek taunted as he opened his mouth with glowing eyes...only to blink as nothing happened.
"Huh?" The captives collectively said in bewilderment. Except Discord, who was looking at the pool of water, which still had a reflection of a sunbathing princess in it.
"What is this?" Tirek asked with a scowl.
"Yeah, no dice," Celestia said with a shrug as something sprung out of the water.
"A decoy. Clever," Tirek admitted begrudgingly as he pulled back his fist to strike the "fake" Celestia. His fist, instead of making impact, disappeared upon reaching her. He hardly realized this before his own fist slammed into his jaw, possibly dislocating it and sending him flying backwards
"Told you not to touch the fluff," Celestia said with a huff as she hovered with her changeling wings.
"...Disssscord," Applejack said accusingly to the blushing Draconequus, who suddenly found his lips dry, "What the hay did you do to the Princess!?" She demanded, poking her hoof against his chest.
"N-nothing, I swear!" Discord vowed, glancing back at the Alicorn in question, "...not that I'm complaining."
"Applejack, stop! Look at him!" Fluttershy defended with a pleading glare, Discord flinching at the undeserved aid, "He couldn't hurt a fly if he wanted to!"
"Yeah, AJ? Accusations later, after the hopeful-flank-kicking," Rainbow suggested, sending a scowl to Discord, but said nothing else.
"Did anyone see what jumped out of the water?" Rarity asked curiously, trying to look into the sky and see if she could spot it.
"I was too busy thinking about how much I'd like a can to bang on the bars," Pinkie Pie said half-heartedly, prompting a lemur tail to put a tin can in front of her, "Thank you, Princess," She said with a weak smile as she took it.
"No problem, Pinkie Pie."
It took everypony another two seconds to process it.
"PRINCESS CELESTIA!?" They yelled, turning around to find another Celestia sitting there with a grin on her face.
There were a few differences between this one and the one outside. This one didn't have flaming eyes, but her purple eyes had darker spots shimmering and moving around them. And speaking of rings, the lack of flames revealed black circles around her eyes, like a raccoon would have.
Of course, the biggest change was that this Celestia was wearing an orange, full-body prison jumpsuit.
"Hello my little ponies! And you too, my drakes, I'd never forget you two," She greeted, nodding to Discord and Spike.
"Umm, Princess? Is...that really you?" Spike asked cautiously.
The Chaotic Alicorn nodded energetically, "Yes, it is I, in the flesh! And the chaos. Sooooo much chaos," She assured with a shudder and a lopsided grin.
Rarity stepped a bit closer to Spike, ready to cover his ears if needed.
"Well...what are you doin in here?" Applejack asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Oh, I just thought I'd find out what this side of the legal system felt like," Celestia answered casually.
"Haven't you been captured before, Celestia?" Discord managed to get out.
If she had been normal right then, he might have flinched under her gaze. Instead, he stiffened at the smoldering look he got, "Point, but that was unlawful detainment. It's a lawful incarceration if the princess throws herself in the brig," Celestia countered, playful and giggling, before frowning at her uniform, "Say, Rarity, you're the fashion guru: This or the classic stripes?" She inquired.
"Are...are you serious?" Rarity asked in disbelief, getting a head tilt, "W-well, while neither are in great taste, I imagine the stripes would work better for you and your tail, Your Majesty," She answered, a bit nervous.
Celestia hummed as she held up her talons.
During the small pause, Discord practically started drooling.
With a snap of her claws, Celestia was wearing a cliché stripped top and hat, but no pants- to a certain Draconequus's preference, "Hmm, I might have to change the prisons back to these, once this is over. At the moment, I can't quite remember why we ever bothered to change them."
"Umm, Princess? If, um, you don't mind?...Do you have a, er, plan for getting us out of here?" Fluttershy asked meekly.
"Yes," Celestia answered with a smile.
"...Can you tell us?" Rainbow asked after a brief pause.
"Yes," Celestia confirmed again, still smiling.
"...Can ya tell us right now?" Applejack asked, trying not to sound annoyed.
"Yes." Does it even need to be said?
Rarity sighed dramatically at that, "Oh for the love of- Discord! Please handle this for us?" She requested in irritation as everypony turned to the Draconequus.
Discord blinked as he looked between the mares, looking at him with annoyance that, for once, wasn't directed at him as well as curiosity. He looked back to Celestia, who stared right back, "...Celestia, how about you show us how you'd escape this cage?" He recommended with a small grin.
"Sure, Cordy! I could just vanish it or break it, but that'd be boring! Spike, I need to borrow you for a moment," Celestia answered, her lemur tail wrapping around his torso and picking him up.
"Wow, wait, what?!" Spike said as he was held parallel to the ground
"Princess, what ARE you doing?!" Rarity asked in shock.
"Trust me, Rarity, I know what I'm doing," Celestia assured with a wink.
Said wink got rid of her prison outfit and turned three of the metal bars into lengths of solid gem.
"Wait, is she going to...?" Discord muttered suspiciously.
"Ready, Spike?" Celestia asked as she held her talon close to his tail.
"Ready for what?" Spike asked nervously.
"She is," Discord realized with smirk of approval.
"Is what!?" Spike, Rainbow, and Rarity demanded in sync.
Celestia just grinned as she grabbed the drake's tail and pulled, stretching it back at least twice its length before releasing it with a snap.
Spike had wide eyes as his body started to rumble and vibrate, his teeth chattering.
"Spike?" Applejack asked in worry and concern.
The baby dragon opened his mouth...and rapidly began to bite at seemingly impossible speeds; his mouth looking like it was opened at a ninety-degree angle each time.
"Ever played Hungry-Hungry Drake?" Celestia questioned with smirk at the dumbfounded mares, "No? Too bad!" She decided as she placed Spike's blitz-choppers over one of the bars, munching the section into bits and devouring it in seconds. Celestia moved her tail up and down the lengths of the bars, clearing through them in about thirty seconds, "Thank you for your patronage, and please use "Regal Chaotica" for all your escaping and catering needs," She added on as she ushered them outside the cage.
"Regal Chaotica?" Discord repeated with a raised eyebrow as she put Spike down, his teeth slowing to a halt.
"Oh please, you know I make this look good," Celestia boasted with an half lidded gave, her talon flicking her mane over her back.
"Yes, yes you do...," Discord agreed absently, watching her hypnotically swishing tail.
"Spikey Wikey? Are you okay?" Rarity asked with a sad frown, putting a hoof on his shoulder as he groaned.
Spike, for once, ignored Rarity as he glared weakly up at the Princess, "I'm not saying I enjoyed that, but I'm not saying I didn't either," He commented plainly.
"We'll deal with that later, Spike. For now, DUCK!" She yelled as they instantly obeyed, dropping to the ground, as the Alicorn of Chaos raised up her moose hoof and reeled it back, "Maaaaagic-PUNCH!" She declared, nailing a thrown-Tirek right in the flank, sending him back into the air with a howl of pain, almost hitting her flaming eyed doppelganger.
"Hey, watch where I'm throwing things!" Flaming Eyed Celestia yelled with indignation.
"Where you're throwing things!? Oh, no, watch where "I" am throwing things!" Raccoon Eyed Celestia retorted in kind.
"Well, at least you don't look like you're wearing a ridiculous amount of eye shadow!" FE insulted with a humph.
"Why thank me, Ms. Burn Sight!" RE accepted with a smile, "Now, get back to sunburning the Redtaur- WHY ARE WE ONLY NOW USING SUN PUNS!?" She finished with a lamenting cry as her other half flew off.
"Did...she...they...what?" Applejack asked in confusion, "Anyone else get that?"
"I got a headache," Rainbow answered with a sigh as the rest shook their heads, except two.
"I don't know what you're all talking about," Pinkie Pie said with a grin, "I've had plenty of talks like that before!"
The others gave her strange looks as Discord looked to Celestia, turning back to them, "Magic punch? Why not Chaos Punch?" He asked curiously with a head tilt.
"Because that was a Magic Punch, nota Chaos Punch," Celestia answered as she held up her fisted talons, "This is a Chaos Punch," She added in before sending the right hook at Discord's face, to a mixture of surprise and horror among the group.
Thankful, Discord would admit, it didn't hurt. That said, when he opened his eyes, he was a bit intimidated by the giant ponies around him, "Oh, Poo," He said with slagging shoulders, looking up at Celestia with a gulp, "I'm...still in trouble, huh?"
"Yep," Celestia answered, far too cheerfully, as Fluttershy placed him safely on her back, "Don't worry, I promise I'm not going to execute you. Or stone you. Or leave you powerless. Or anything else you're thinking- seriously, you're starting to kill my buzz," Celestia assured, then scolded with a scowl.
"You're not?!" Almost everyone asked in surprise, some with hope as well.
"Nope, but you're not off scot free. So just behave like a nice little wormy while I'm gone and maybe I'll give you some chocolate milk to swim in," She teased as she tapped him on the nose with her tail, "Boop."
Discord, if he had the magic, would have melted on the Pegasi's back. As it was, he just blushed and stutter, "Y-yes, Ma'am!" he saluted, almost drunkenly.
Celestia giggled at that, "Good boy."
And with that, she spread her lower wings and took off with a great flap of the mighty yet mismatched limbs
"...Twilight will not take this well," Rainbow commented absently.
"Dash, WE are not taking this well," Applejack pointed out, before glaring at the tiny Draconequus, barely taller than the width of a hoof, "Well, most of us. Ya know, I'm still not convinced you didn't have something to do with this."
"Applejack," Discord said, looking at her with a completely serious tone, "If I could have done ANYTHING like that to Celestia, I would have done so ages ago," He pointed out with his arms crossed.
"...He's got a good point, I hate to admit," Rainbow conceded.
"Well, fashion sense aside, at least Princess Celestia has retained much of herself through this," Rarity commented, "Humor aside, she does seem to be keeping everypony safe, so her faculties must be still mostly in order, pardon the pun. And despite the changes, she has retained a graceful look."
"Not the time, Rars," Applejack pointed out.
"Oh, but it is, Applejack!" Rarity retorted with a scowl, "After all, if she had been too far changed physically, the guards might mistake her for someone else or not believe who she is and end up provoking her," She pointed out.
"That...is actually a good point," Applejack admitted begrudgingly, "Still, what happened to the other Princesses?"
"Maybe they were in a secret bunker?" Pinkie Pie suggested.
'...Did Celestia leave them in Tartarus?' Discord wondered to himself, stroking his beard.
Meanwhile
"Aunt Luna?" Cadence asked blankly.
"Yes, Cadence?" Luna inquired in kind.
"Where are we, exactly?" Cadence questioned as she looked around the tropical beach, a jungle in front of them and the ocean to their backs.
"I am not certain, but if I had to guess?...Pon Diego?" Luna suggested.
"So…we're just supposed to wait here until your sister comes and gets us?" Cadence asked.
"I would imagine so...in fairness, I haven't been to the beach in many ages," Luna commented with a smirk.
"Shouldn't we be worried about Aunt Celestia and the rest of Equestria?" Cadence pointed out.
"Equestria? Yes. Tia? No," Luna answered gravely, "She's the reason I'm worried. Her with Discord's powers..."
"...Could have been worse," Cadence mused thoughtfully.
"How?" Luna asked with a raised eyebrow.
"...Discord getting the Nightmare?" Cadence suggested.
"...Let us not ponder such horrors," Luna said with wide, terrified eyes.
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oh sweet twilight this is amazing
This is awesome. Need more!
twilight face=
Chaos magic Celly is awesome
Bwahahaha
. This is the funniest thing I have red in forever.
I'll get the popcorn ready for next chapter
Janice clear my schedule, I want to be ready when the new chapter arrives
Shit man even your end chapter jokes souls like cool ideas!
man i cant wait to find out twilight's reaction which reminds me *pulls out a betting booth* place your bets on how twilight will react
This pleases me. I look forward to more from you.
I enjoyed this way more than I thought I would.
Please, for the love of all things snarky, GIVE MORE!!!!
... please?
That this has been a really funny, creative read only makes it more depressing that I'm really not optimistic it will ever be continued.
...Welp, looks like more nightmares tonight.
continue this story or i will CUPCAKES PINKAMENA and point her your way......... you have been warned
Pleaaase contignue this.
Heh and of course Discord gets a wing boner.
kind of want twilight to show up and see her the princess and follow in her hoovesteps
Chaolestia is best princess!
will you continue this story
Is this dead???
Lol. Too bad this seems dead. This was funny.
"...Could have been worse," Cadence mused thoughtfully.
"How?" Luna asked with a raised eyebrow.
"...Discord getting the Nightmare?" Cadence suggested.
"...Let us not ponder such horrors," Luna said with wide, terrified eyes.
Second to lest give my an idea for a function and lol. Please make more more of this.
8208637
No she is best at chaos.
MAKE THIS A THING!!!!!
Ps I mean that in he gets it and drives it INSANE!!!!!
Celestia:
"What up Twi?"
"....."
"Oh no."
"Oh yes."
"Didn't I tell you she'd act this way???"
*ring......ring.......* "Yes? Hello? Ms. Larsen? I think I have a new therapist patient for you, how do you feel about working with a princess?" 
"you------Cele-----with DISCO------*HU-A HU-A HU-A!!!!!!!"
"Oh great, Celestia has chaotic powers and twilight's freaking out with 5 times the alicorn magic. What could go wrong?......"
"I miss Nightmare moon."
"We all do spike, we all do."
Twilight:
AJ :
Celestia:
Dash:
Flutershy:
Twilight:
AJ
Spike:
Aj:
Please tell me this story hasn't been canceled. I really want to see more of Chaos!Celestia.
7610942
so
you gonna update this ever, or is it effectively dead
that would be what the SCP foundation would call an X-K End Of World Scenario, at minimum
Oh~ Discord's liking this!~
This is so amazing, forshame it died 5 years ago