• Published 30th Jun 2012
  • 1,413 Views, 32 Comments

An Engineered Friendship - Engiminer



A human arrives in Ponyville at the beginning of the first episode, escaping from zombies on Earth.

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Chapter 3

Everypony, including Mr. Fakepony, trotted up to the town hall and went inside. Pegasi took "seats" in mid-air to save room on the floor and in the balconies.

I took up position near the bird orchestra, led by Fluttershy. She is adorable on the show, so I'm sure you can imagine that she was even more so in person. She was the kind of adorable that makes you want a hug more than anything, makes you want to defend her from any threat. Her smile was a cure for suicidal tendencies and cancer, but it still gave you diabetes. Then, I realized I was staring. I blushed and looked for other things to attract my attention.

I looked to the balcony stage, where Rarity (with her obviously exquisite mane) was holding the curtain rope. To my left was Pinkie Pie rambling at poor Twilight, who looked like she was trying to find a polite way to tell Pinkie to PLEASE SHUT UP. On the opposite side of the room was Rainbow Dash and Applejack having an arm wrestle to pass the time. I looked up and saw (D'AAAWWW) Derpy Hooves munching on a muffin in all her ditzy, cross-eyed glory.

Then the Mayor Mare tapped on the mic to get our attention. Everyone shifted their attention towards the front of the room to the proud Mayor. She began her introductory speech, but I wasn't listening. I was too busy getting myself ready for Nightmare Moon.

I glanced over at Twilight. Pinkie had stopped talking long enough to listen to the Mayor, and Twilight was understandably more apprehensive then I was. I glared at the blacony stage as the Mayor finished her speech and Rarity pulled back the curtain. The collective gasp was deafening. Surprise, surprise, Celestia was nowhere in sight. As the Mayor tried to restore order, a sparkling dark-purple haze appeared onstage. This is it. The haze transformed into Nightmare Moon, and there was immediate silence.

"Oh, it has been so long since I have seen you ponies..." Wow. I just realized how much she reminds me of GLaDOS. "I doubt anypony here even remembers me..." She stroked Fluttershy, who was positively SHAKING, under the chin with her translucent mane. Remember my "defend her from anything speech"? Well, my blood was beginning to boil. The concealed jets in my saddle popped out and fired, raising me into the air.

"Hold it right there Moon Mare!" I called. Her attention averted, I smirked. "Did you find out whether or not you liked bananas... ON THE MMOOOOOONN?" I watched her rage build inside of her and laughed out loud. "Or were you fighting complete and utter boredom for a thousand years?"

"You have NO IDEA what it's like being on that damn moon!" She growled. Her horn glowed brightly. I knew what was coming. Her lighting struck, only to be absorbed by the lightning rod on my forehead. I charged, channeling the electricity into one hoof. When I got close enough, I unleashed a Megaton Hook with the electrified hoof. The effect wasn't as painful as I'd hoped, but it definitely left a dent in her helmet and certainly knocked her down. She got up slowly, and stared at me as though she had never seen a unicorn. Her horn flashed, and I was encased in a block of glass. Only my head showed.

"I have never seen a fighting style like yours. You're not from here, are you?"

"You haven't been around here lately yourself, miss!" I cackled. "And I ain't teachin' my style, either; it's rather personalized."

"Personalized?" She chuckled. "Ah. I see..." Another blinding flash from her horn shattered my glass prison. As I landed on my feet, there was another collective gasp. I looked at the other ponies, and to my surprise, they were backing away from me! I looked towards Pinkie Pie, and she stared straight back like I was an axe murderer! Everypony had the same fearful face.

"What is everypony afraid of?" That's when it hit me. I'd landed on my feet! Not my hooves! "Oh, no." I looked down and saw my heavy duty jeans and steel-toe boots. I stared at my ten fingers in horror. "NONONONONONONONONONO!" I looked up at Fluttershy. When my eyes met hers, she squeaked, her wings snapped to her sides, and she fell and landed on someone else. Great. Now she needs protection from me. I felt horrible, like a monster. Tears sprang to my eyes as I looked towards Nightmare Moon once more. Through my blurry vision, I could see her smirk, and I realized she had been waiting for the eye contact.

"How do you like THEM bananas?"

That did it. I was finished. I jetted out of the town hall. Ponies screamed as I flew by, digging my depression abyss deeper. I zoomed into my home... No. Not my home. My temporary lodgings. I was never my home. I zoomed inside, grabbed my food and water pack, and a matchbook. I lit a match, and let it fall on a pile of sawdust. Within minutes, the skeletal house was up in flames. Tears fell down my face as I turned my back on Ponyville and entered Everfree Forest. I softly sang "Welcome to my Life" as dark purple clouds drowned out the rising sunlight.