• Member Since 14th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen August 1st

_Moonbeam


I read. Occasionally, I write. That's pretty much everything.

T
Source

A thousand years can change everything. Civilizations, monuments, even legends can fade into nothing. When the Mare in the Moon returned, she was little more than an old story to most of the kingdom. And all stories fade with time.

What would it really take for a ruler to turn on their own empire? And what could turn the Princess of Dreams into a living nightmare?


Companion to Child of the Moon. Reading that story is NOT required to understand this one.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 4 )

Decent enough story start, if a bit formulaic. I didn't really get how a shadow is 'an essential part of a pony', though. I think you were going for, "look, darkness is already a part of you!", but it didn't really say why that was a good thing. Shadows aren't exactly useful for anything (beyond hiding things from the light...). I think that scene could have been better with a different analogy or anecdote.

Without warning, Luna pulled Meadow into an embrace. For a moment, his body stiffened with shock before relaxing into the grip of her strong wings, large enough to lift him to her eye level. The next thing either of them knew, their lips locked together in their first kiss.

sometimes, or mostly with Ponys in Lunas/Celestias or Rainbow Dash position
(Soarin : fanfilly; Luna and Celestia X anyone else : overly polite romance.), it can look a little bit odd to me, to be honest I don't like every Stallion in the show.

However, even if that went a bit fast for my liking, this is some kind of background story and he seems nice.

I want to say you one thing, so you don't understand my comments the wrong way. I like to overthink some stuff somtimes. Which means it may look like I don't like something, but I actually do, I just try to make it more perfect for me, I mean to describe it how I would had prefered it and stuff like that.

Well....I think I have no problem with thinking about him as her Coltfriend, and it seems it is one of your first storys, so I guess it is okay that you hasn't introduced him a bit slower. Normally I just like to learn about the character before I read that he is courting one of the main chars, however he really seems nice even if it could be better.

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