Love this! However, I might add a bit of constructive criticism..I mean, if that's okay with you. First of all, sometimes, you repeat the same word more than once in the same area. Like, 'chucked' is used twice. Perhaps, you could use a synonym to replace one of the words. What I do, is just go to Thesaurus.com, and type in the repetitive word, and use one of the examples on the site. And lastly, please! Go easy on the exclamation marks!!!!!!!! (yes, that was a joke) I recommend, when a character is angry, don't use more than two. Yes, two, marks. Three is commonly used, but it seems a little childish to me. As C.S Lewis said, the words themselves should be able to make up for lack of marks. And, instead of using GIANT LETTERS, I would go for Italics Overall, a great read, and I'm excited for what is to come.
...why.....WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
in other words
itsa awesome, keep up the good work, id love to see more
Eagerly waiting for more.
Never stop writing Wolokai. You sir/madam, are the best writer EVER!
10th time reading this series an amazing series.
Love this! However, I might add a bit of constructive criticism..I mean, if that's okay with you.
First of all, sometimes, you repeat the same word more than once in the same area. Like, 'chucked' is used twice. Perhaps, you could use a synonym to replace one of the words. What I do, is just go to Thesaurus.com, and type in the repetitive word, and use one of the examples on the site.
And lastly, please! Go easy on the exclamation marks!!!!!!!! (yes, that was a joke) I recommend, when a character is angry, don't use more than two. Yes, two, marks. Three is commonly used, but it seems a little childish to me. As C.S Lewis said, the words themselves should be able to make up for lack of marks. And, instead of using GIANT LETTERS, I would go for Italics
Overall, a great read, and I'm excited for what is to come.
I guess Rainbow is now regretting not paying enough attention in that 'boring class.'
I will be reading the next chapter now.
731803 That, mi amigo, is called foreshadowing ;3
What if Winona had crashed with Rainbow Dash? That would've been interesting, but this is still a nice story so far all the same.
5997351 That's just cruel. Winona is the best non-pony character in the show! lol