At first, Rainbow Dash insisted that she was fine, because she felt fine – but only a few minutes after arriving back in town, a wave of dizziness washed over her. Next thing she knew, her legs had given out and suddenly Rainbow was sprawled on the ground.
The collapse made it clear. She was not fine. The fall and the chase immediately afterwards must have certainly taken their toll on Rainbow, something that was obvious to the third-party observers nearby but which Rainbow Dash herself was in complete denial about.
Fluttershy, being uncharacteristically assertive, insisted on treating Rainbow Dash's injuries if the pegasus was serious about refusing to see a proper doctor. In the end, Dash gave in. She didn't want to become reduced to arguing with her best friends just because of those nagging doubts swirling about in her mind. She was smarter than that. Too smart to let what had happened bother her.
That didn't stop it from bothering her.
During the days immediately following the incident, Rainbow Dash was confined to bed with her wings wrapped in bandages, unable to escape Fluttershy's fussing. The entire time, she ached to spread her wings and return to the sky.
What made it worse was that for the first time since she'd moved to Ponyville, Rainbow Dash had to miss a storm. Specifically, the one that she'd flown through which had gotten her into this whole mess in the first place. Sure, Rainbow could be a little lazy or unreliable at times, but she had never, ever shirked her duties on the weather team before, and being forced to sit out – literally – while the storm broke was almost more than she could take. Especially when she could see the whole thing from her place by the window, able to observe and criticize every move made by her substitute as she pondered all the ways she would have done everything better.
Just like Rarity had predicted, the story of Mare Do Well's return soon hit the local paper. To Rainbow Dash's further aggravation, her so-called rescue was featured rather prominently in the article. She first saw it when Twilight gave it to her during one of the visits her friends made together during her recovery.
"We thought you'd want to see it," Twilight explained, looking embarrassed on Rainbow's behalf. "So that you're not taken by surprise later."
The article was the usual flattering drivel, probably written by one of the Faker Do Well groupies that had been in the crowd – or rather, audience – that day. And of course it made sure to mention how Mare Do Well's triumphant reappearance had been highlighted by the courageous rescue of a local weather pony. The writer hadn't even had the decency to mention Rainbow Dash by name. There was even a picture of Mare Do Well carrying her limp, unconscious self on her back, a picture presumably taken while Rainbow had been out. She looked pathetically frail in it.
After reading the story through, Rainbow Dash threw the newspaper away in disgust, only to end up digging through the garbage to pull it out and read it again. It was on the fourth or fifth reading that she finally noticed something.
"How did the reporter find out all this stuff?" Rainbow Dash asked one day while scanning the article. "And why did Nurse Redheart know, too? How did either of them find out what happened? I'm pretty sure I was alone when I, uh, fell. So nopony would've seen me, and I sure didn't tell anypony."
"Maybe Mare Do Well told them," Fluttershy suggested as she tenderly dressed Rainbow Dash's wings in fresh bandages. Rainbow Dash was stretched out on a sofa in Fluttershy's cottage, trying to ignore the way Fluttershy's touch never failed to send a fresh wave of pain through her wings. At first she'd fought Fluttershy's efforts to play nurse, but in the end, she'd given up and given in. When Fluttershy wanted to take care of you, it was pretty much impossible to tell her no.
"But she doesn't even talk," Rainbow Dash protested. "That's, like, her thing. She's the no-talker."
"She doesn't talk in front of you," Fluttershy pointed out in an off-hoof way, still focused on the bandages and moving as slowly as she could so as to avoid causing Rainbow Dash undue discomfort. "Maybe she does that on purpose, because she's afraid you'll recognize her voice. But while you were unconscious, she could have explained what happened."
Rainbow Dash considered. "Wow, Fluttershy," she finally said, sounding mildly impressed. "You're a lot smarter than you look sometimes."
Fluttershy smiled, choosing to ignore the insult in favor of the compliment.
When the yellow pegasus had finished with the bandages, she fluttered over to the loveseat in the corner of her cottage parlor and settled in, looking as content as ever before continuing on in her serene way.
"When Twilight first had the idea for Mare Do Well, she told us all to remember not to say anything while in costume. She was worried that our voices would give us away, because we all sound really different, even with our voices disguised, and nopony was supposed to know that Mare Do Well was played by more than one pony, but also because she figured you'd recognize us."
Fluttershy opened her eyes, looking at Rainbow Dash meaningfully – but Dash only stared back, looking like she didn't understand what Fluttershy was getting at.
"Nopony in the village knows what Mare Do Well is supposed to sound like, because when Mare Do Well first appeared, she never spoke. So the only ponies she'd have to be careful when speaking around would be ponies who did know," Fluttershy explained patiently. "This new Mare Do Well has one of the original costumes, too; so unless you're somepony who knew the truth, there'd be no way to tell that this isn't the same Mare Do Well as before. But we can tell, because we do know the truth. But nopony knows that we were behind it or that we told you, so as far as everypony else in Ponyville knows, we shouldn't know the difference, either."
The entire time Fluttershy was speaking, the cogs in Rainbow Dash's head were in motion, and as soon as she had finished, it was like somepony had flipped a switch, suddenly bringing a light bulb to life.
"Which means it must be one of us!" Rainbow Dash finished, voice rising in excitement. "I mean, if you're right and Mare Do Well was the one who told everypony what happened, then that must be it! If this Mare Do Well was anypony else, then she wouldn't know that I'd unmasked the original Mare Do Well, and she'd expect me to just buy whatever she did, since she'd think I wouldn't know – but I do know. So it must be one of us, since she knows enough to hide her voice around me so that I don't recognize it!"
Then Rainbow Dash frowned, rubbing her forehead with a hoof. "Wait, what? I think I'm confusing myself."
Fluttershy smiled a shy little smile from her perch on the loveseat. "It's just an idea," she said softly, looking down in embarrassment at her hooves, which were folded neatly before her.
Rainbow Dash gazed up at her reverently from her place on Fluttershy's sofa, looking awed. "Wow," she breathed. "Applejack was right. You're like some kind of freaky genius."
The butter-yellow pegasus blushed delicately in that adorable way of hers, but she appeared to be growing uncomfortable under Rainbow Dash's gaze. She squirmed, fidgeting uncertainly. "I really like reading mysteries," Fluttershy explained in an almost apologetic tone. "They're... nice."
"Geez, Fluttershy. We keep finding out all these weird things about you. Next it's gonna turn out that you're really..."
Rainbow Dash paused.
The thought that had just now flitted through her mind was one so impossibly ridiculous that her first instinct was to laugh it off and forget that she'd ever had it; that's how little it was worth thinking about. But it was the doubt again. Doubt that she'd never held towards her friends before. The paranoid feeling that they were all somehow scheming against her, and that the moment she turned her back, she'd learn that they'd all played her for a fool again.
When Rainbow spoke again, her normally brash, easygoing voice practically shook.
"Fluttershy, this is gonna sound totally crazy, but I really, really need to know that it's not you. I promise I won't be mad."
Normally, being around Rainbow Dash made Fluttershy a bit nervous. Her arrogant, attention-seeking personality was at a direct contrast with Fluttershy's own more timid and reserved nature. To put it simply, Rainbow Dash intimidated her.
But moments like these, when she allowed the tiniest bits of uncertainty to slip through the cracks, allowing Fluttershy to catch a glimpse of the fragility beneath the surface, never failed to endear Rainbow to Fluttershy and win her sympathy. After all, Fluttershy was never one to turn her back on a creature in need.
"It's not crazy. I understand," Fluttershy said gently. "I promise that it's not me. Why would I be helping you and trying to trick you at the same time? That wouldn't be very nice of me."
"I don't know," Rainbow Dash muttered. She was almost sulking, scowling somewhere at the ceiling. Suddenly her head was throbbing, and she brought a hoof up to her temple, wincing. "All I know is that somepony is messing with me and I really, really don't want to think it's one of you guys."
Rainbow Dash sounded so lost that Fluttershy could feel herself instinctively switching over to nurturing-mother mode.
She fluttered over to the sofa that Rainbow Dash was now sitting up on, propped up by her elbows, and grabbed the other pegasus by the shoulders, firmly pushing her back down onto the cushions.
"You need to rest," Fluttershy explained sweetly, draping a blanket over Rainbow in response to the puzzled look she got. "You poor thing. You're very tired, aren't you? I bet you'll feel better after getting some sleep."
"Maybe..." Rainbow Dash grudgingly acknowledged. She had to admit, Fluttershy had a surprisingly comfy sofa. It was almost as nice as a cloud, but not quite.
She pulled the blanket closer. Rainbow Dash was the kind of pony who could sleep anywhere and anytime if she so chose, no matter how worked up she'd grown during the day, so it only took a moment for her eyelids to begin to droop.
Satisfied, Fluttershy returned to her seat, but just as she began to settle in, a weary voice drifted over from the mound of blanket Rainbow Dash had created for herself, asking, "You won't tell anypony how I acted like a baby, right?"
"Of course not."
"'Kay. Thanks." Rainbow Dash yawned, loudly and obviously, before snuggling under the blanket again. "But I'm only letting you treat me like this while my wings get better. After that, no more fussing. I don't wanna look needy."
"Of course not."
"Okay. Good."
"Have a nice nap."
"Yeah, whatever."
And like that, Rainbow Dash was asleep.
• • •
Once the bandages were off, despite Fluttershy's orders that she stay grounded for at least two weeks before attempting to fly again, Rainbow Dash decided to take to the skies the moment she was able to beat her wings without feeling like they were being torn off. She was a sturdy pegasus, after all, and it would take more than getting struck by lightning to finish her off. A few days of rest were all she needed; further proof that she hadn't needed rescuing after all. Not that anypony listened to her. Or cared.
When Rainbow Dash had first chased after Mare Do Well after the incident with the lightning, she'd been able to push through the pain that she'd felt, too focused on catching the other mare to let herself get slowed down. But after the initial rush of adrenaline had worn off, Rainbow had been left completely drained, her body stiff and tired.
That was how she felt all the time, now. When she tried to fly, her movements in the air were noticeably clumsier and slower than usual. Occasionally Dash stopped to mull this over, bitter, but when she did, a tiny voice in the back of her mind would always pipe up to remind herself that it was technically her own damn fault.
The conversations that Rainbow Dash had with herself tended to go something like this:
It was stupid to go through a storm.
Well, Faker Do Well shouldn't have paraded me around town like that! It made me look dumb!
...but I deserved it. I was dumb.
Shut up!
And so forth, her mind once again spinning around in circles as Rainbow argued with herself like some kind of schizophrenic.
Apparently, there'd been no more Mare Do Well sightings during the entire time Rainbow Dash had been out of commission, and she had no idea whether it was a coincidence or not. It was unlikely, but possible. Maybe she'd only been present at both incidents by pure coincidence. Maybe there were plenty of other ponies out there that were getting harassed by the so-called superhero, who were just too embarrassed to say anything or report it to the police.
The conversation with Fluttershy had given her an idea, though, and it had also strengthened the idea that it couldn't possibly have been Fluttershy. For the time being, Dash was at least seventy percent sure of Twilight's innocence, and about eighty percent sure of Fluttershy's. Rarity was standing at approximately sixty percent; even if she wasn't the one behind the new Mare Do Well persona, she was being exceedingly unhelpful, refusing to relinquish the one piece of information that might have helped Rainbow Dash and causing Dash to hold a grudge.
If the new Mare Do Well truly was one of her friends, that left either Applejack or Pinkie – unless Rainbow Dash was going about this whole thing the wrong way. Most of the conclusions that she'd drawn were based on assumptions, after all, and it was always possible that one of her friends had just lied to her.
But she didn't want to believe that.
The next logical step, then, was to talk either to Nurse Redheart or to the newspaper reporter who'd written the article about Mare Do Well in the first place, to find out who their source was. If Mare Do Well had spoken to either of them directly, then that basically confirmed Fluttershy's theory that she was specifically hiding her voice from Rainbow Dash, and from there, Rainbow Dash would figure out what to do next.
• • •
"So it was definitely her?" Rainbow Dash asked. "No doubt about it? You spoke to the real deal, accept no substitutes Mare Do Well?"
"Yes," Nurse Redheart answered, looking awkward. "That's what I just said."
"Can you tell me again exactly what happened?"
"She was carrying you on her back and brought you straight here. She said that you'd been flying through a storm when you got hit by lightning, and she wanted to make sure you were okay, but then the reporters started to crowd in and I couldn't catch the rest. They made too much noise."
"Okay," Rainbow Dash answered with a curt nod. "That's all I needed to know. Thanks."
And then she took off, leaving behind a perplexed Nurse Redheart to watch her go.
The entire exchange, from Rainbow Dash's abrupt landing to her sudden departure, took about ten seconds in all, but at least the pegasus seemed to be getting back to her old self. Lately, she'd seemed out of sorts, and the nurse had credited that to the fact that she couldn't fly. Maybe getting back in the air would be good for her.
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash was scheming. As a master prankster, creating traps to trip ponies up was her forte – and now, all of that practice would finally prove to be useful.
For whatever reason, the new Mare Do Well seemed to have a habit of coming out of nowhere to save Rainbow Dash, so it should be easy enough to draw her out. All Rainbow had to do was get in trouble somehow, then wait for the pseudo-hero to come to the rescue, and then she could confront her.
The first time, Rainbow Dash had almost been robbed by some random unicorn stallion. The second time, she'd been flying through a storm. Both times, she'd been alone and, for whatever reason, hadn't been able to fly. So, if she wandered alone along the streets by hoof at night, she was bound to run into some kind of trouble at some point. Nothing Dash wouldn't be able to handle, of course; just the good kind of trouble. The kind that she could take care of herself, but that Mare Do Well would probably want to try and get a piece of anyway, just to make Rainbow Dash look bad.
The sun was already setting. She couldn't waste any time. It was a good thing Fluttershy had made Rainbow Dash sleep so much; it was shaping up to be another long night.
• • •
For once, the dark alleyways of Ponyville didn't seem to be housing any riffraff. How disappointing.
Rainbow Dash could distinctly hear the sharp clop, clop, clop of her hooves echoing on the cobblestoned roads with every step she took. Although it was late, she felt wide awake and alert.
The streets weren't exactly empty. After all, there was the odd couple here and there taking a romantic stroll under the moonlight, or the occasional groups of friends happily chatting together as they headed out to some party, their evenings just beginning.
She walked for a long, long time, her frustration increasing with every passing moment, until Rainbow Dash started to wish that she'd run into Pinkie or somepony, and that she'd be invited to come hang out. That way, she'd have had an excuse to quit this pointless patrol, but her pride wouldn't allow her to quit on her own, and she'd intentionally chosen the downtown area of Ponyville so that there would be less of a chance that she'd run into any of her friends. As boring as the slow, steady pace of her stroll was, if it led to any insights in the true identity of the Mare Do Well imposter, it would be worth it.
She walked a circuit, turning the same corners and circling the same buildings, treading a route so steady and unchanging that Dash eventually came to expect to find her hoofprints worn into the street and was mildly surprised when she didn't see them.
Gradually the streets emptied, until she found herself wandering the more unfamiliar areas of Ponyville completely alone, without even the excuse of having attended a Wonderbolts show that had run late.
It was then that Rainbow Dash first started to feel that old familiar prickle in the back of her neck. It was the feeling of somepony watching you. It was a feeling that she tended to get a lot, being friends with Pinkie Pie and all, so she'd almost gotten used to it, but it was definitely not a sensation that you wanted to feel when you were alone in an unfamiliar area of town, the streets dark and empty and vaguely menacing in their silence.
But she'd wanted trouble, hadn't she?
Rainbow Dash ignored the trepidation she had begun to feel. Instead she thought, Now we're getting somewhere.
• • •
Mare Do Well had a dilemma.
On one hoof, the only reason she was keeping an eye on Rainbow Dash in the first place was because she liked feeling like her protector. It was almost a guilty pleasure. So if she wanted to fancy herself somepony's protector, then it was naturally up to her to protect them from harm, but if Rainbow Dash was actively seeking danger in a misguided attempt to draw her out, was she still supposed to rush forth and defend her?
A part of her wanted to. Not just because she secretly loved that adorable indignant expression Rainbow Dash got when she was riled up, the way the pegasus always seemed to get when they ran into each other, but because Mare Do Well genuinely didn't want to see her hurt. But on the off chance that Rainbow Dash actually had some sort of cunning scheme beyond "make Mare Do Well come out so we can have a showdown," then she didn't know what she would do. She wasn't going to fight Rainbow; she knew that. But it was definitely Rainbow Dash's style to try and set up some kind of duel in the moonlight.
It was more than that, though. It was the desire for the perfect moment. To wait for just the right time to do and say just the right things to sweep her off her hooves. To be charming and romantic, the way any good vigilante was. To render her speechless. To be dashing, for lack of a better word. No pun intended.
But in the end, the desire to keep her crush safe won out. The thought of Rainbow Dash wandering the streets alone, literally begging for trouble, made Mare Do Well too nervous to let it stand.
• • •
There was a light thud from somewhere behind her, and Rainbow Dash whipped around eagerly.
She'd been expecting to see a gang of chain wielding thugs when she turned to look, thugs that she could kick the flanks of before Faker Do Well showed up – just a little too late, most likely – leaving her and Miss Mysterious free to sit down and have a friendly chat about whatever Mare Do Well thought she was doing back in Ponyville.
Instead, Rainbow Dash turned around to see Mare Do Well herself.
"Oh. It's you, huh?" she asked, affecting an absent-minded tone and indifferent posture. All ways of indicating that she could care less about whether Mare Do Well was there or not.
No response.
The two of them faced each other in silence.
It was like a game, a staring contest to see which of them would give in first, either by looking away or breaking the silence. But in the end, it was Rainbow Dash who did so, jerking her head away so that she didn't have to look at the other mare anymore. She began to pace briskly from side to side in quick little trots as her multicolored tail swished back and forth.
When she finally glanced back up, Mare Do Well was still standing there.
It was impossible to tell for sure due to the mask, but her eyes seemed to follow Rainbow's every movement, head turning ever so slightly to watch the pegasus as she paced.
"Why're you following me?" Rainbow asked after a moment, in her characteristically blunt manner, but the mare remained as stoic as ever, not even faltering in the slightest.
"I know that you talk," Rainbow Dash said suddenly, pausing in her pacing to glare. "You told Nurse Redheart what happened, and she went to the news with the story. It's in the paper. Did you know that? The Ponyville newspaper ran a story specifically about how awesome you are, and how I'm a weak little damsel in distress. Was that your plan? Because if you wanted to turn me into even more of a laughing stock than I already was because of you, then, wow, you're doing a great job, buddy!"
"That wasn't my intention."
"Gah!"
Rainbow Dash was so taken aback that she literally jumped practically five feet in the air, propelled by the rapid beating of her wings.
Oh, wow, I didn't think she'd actually answer. But she had to save face. Couldn't let the enemy see that they'd managed to surprise her. She was Rainbow Dash, for Celestia's sake. It should take more than that to catch her off guard.
"Wasn't your intention, huh?" Rainbow spat, summoning her best scowl. "Then what was your intention?"
"Maybe I wanted to be close to you."
The first time Mare Do Well had spoken, Rainbow Dash had been so surprised that she hadn't really listened to the quality of the other mare's voice, but the second time, Rainbow had intentionally provoked her to gain a response, just so she could hear it again. But when Mare Do Well spoke, it didn't sound at all familiar. She was obviously disguising her voice, pitching it lower and gruffer than it must have actually been. Not only that, but it was slightly muffled by the cloth of the mask. It almost sounded like she'd been smoking too many packs of Mareboros.
Rainbow Dash had hoped that actually hearing her voice would finally give her an idea as to who it was behind that mask, but what she heard wasn't at all familiar. It was only after she realized this that she heard what the mare had actually said.
"Huh?" she asked, dumbfounded.
"Maybe I wanted to be close to you," Mare Do Well repeated in a conversational way, strolling forward, closer and closer to Rainbow Dash. Before she could get too close, Rainbow Dash took a step back, but Mare Do Well was pressing closer and closer still, like she was trying to back Rainbow up against the nearby wall.
Which was exactly what she did. Rainbow Dash's back was pressed against the side of Quills and Sofas, the mare in black's face unsettlingly close to her own. Their snouts were practically touching.
"So, you're a stalker?" Rainbow Dash challenged, ignoring the way her voice shook. If she wanted to maintain the upper hoof here, she couldn't allow herself to feel intimidated, even if Mare Do Well really was starting to freak her out.
"I wouldn't call it that."
"What would you call it then?" Rainbow Dash challenged. "Following a pony around for no reason and messing with her life just to prove some dumb point? What can I do to make you go away?"
"I don't think there's anything you can do, really," Mare Do Well answered, sounding entertained, and suddenly, Rainbow Dash really, really wanted to see what she looked like under the mask. Not only to find out who the mare was, but to see what kind of expression went along with a tone like that. "Not when you're making that face."
"What face?" Rainbow snarled.
"That one. It's cute."
"I'm not cute!"
She was teasing her. Mare Do Well was playing with her. She sounded amused by their entire exchange, as if Rainbow Dash's anger meant so little to her that she couldn't even be bothered to take it seriously.
Wait. No. It wasn't just teasing. She was –
"Are you flirting with me?!" Rainbow Dash asked, an incredulous expression on her face.
The very thought was... well, unthinkable. It was almost too bizarre to consider – but Mare Do Well made no comeback to this accusation.
"Oh, wow," Rainbow Dash muttered. Any intimidation that she might have felt before now vanished, having melted away when she realized what this was. Just another stupid crush. It was almost embarrassing to think that she'd been so upset about Mare Do Well when the truth was so... dumb.
"You don't care for my approach?" Mare Do Well asked, affecting a petulant air, but her voice still had that lilting, teasing edge to it that caused Rainbow Dash's temper to flare up again.
"No, I don't!" Rainbow Dash snapped. "Usually when somepony likes somepony else they do... I don't know. Flowers and moonlight and stuff. Not this. They don't dress up like a superhero and seriously creep them out just to get their attention."
"It worked, though."
"No, it didn't! This doesn't count! When you like a pony, you're supposed to... take them out on romantic dinners, or whatever! I don't know, I'm not good at stuff like that, but that's not the point! The point is that this whole... thing is weird!"
Rainbow Dash was waving her forelegs wildly to demonstrate her point, nodding emphatically as she spoke, and Mare Do Well almost seemed to be listening respectfully, watching the pegasus as she flailed in the air. But as soon as she touched the ground again, Mare Do Well just pressed forward once again, moving dangerously close, and with a yelp, Rainbow Dash was back against the wall.
"Well... I could bring you flowers, if you want. We already have the moonlight. But this is fun, isn't it?" Mare Do Well almost purred.
"What is?" the pegasus spat, trying to ignore the sudden blush she felt spreading across her face.
"The games we play," Mare Do Well whispered, and Rainbow Dash could hear the smile in her voice as she said that. "I chase you, you chase me. Like an elaborate game of hide and seek; neither of us reaching each other, both of us circling one another..."
"I'm not chasing you! I want you to leave me alone."
That last heated remark earned Dash a soft laugh in response. Mare Do Well ducked her head in, too close too close too close oh man and Rainbow could feel the shape of the other mare's mouth against her ear.
"Too bad," Mare Do Well whispered.
Rainbow Dash could feel the mare's hot breath on her neck. Her eyes widened in surprise, and for the second time since she'd begun hunting Mare Do Well, an unexplained surge of warmth coursed through her body, extending throughout her wings. Dash opened her mouth to speak, to say something of the sudden rush of confusion she felt, but the mare had already turned to leave.
"W-wait!" Rainbow cried, and instantly hated herself for the way her voice broke.
Mare Do Well cast a glance backwards, and their eyes met. Rainbow Dash knew, she could just tell, that she was smirking behind that stupid mask of hers.
"Don't worry," the mare said sweetly. "You'll see me again."
And then, with a final mocking salute, just like the one she'd given Dash when they'd first met, she was gone, cape fluttering behind her as she disappeared into the night.
Aye, as I always say...
You can sleep when you're dead.
Another glorious chapter. You're heroic.
Hmmm I guess carrot top!!
This story just keeps getting better! You've got my mind going in circles to figure out who it is.
Might want to run it through spellcheck, though. Especially after those all-night writing sessions.
48914
Dammit that was my next guess... I mean honestly the way he trumps her in style and fabulosity with his perfectly coiffed mane and stupendous mustache? No wonder she won't say who it is.
WHAT
REMIND ME WHEN I SAID YOU CAN SLEEP MAGGOT
NOW YOU WILL GET UP AND YOU,WILL.WRITE.ANOTHER.CHAPTER YOU MAGGOT
AM I UNDERSTOOD MAGGOT?
Great chapter here. There still isn't any actual proof as to who Mare Do Well is, so good job not making the mistake of revealing her identity up to this point. I also like how you almost hint towards who Mare Do Well could be with subtle ways you word Mare Do Well's dialogue and her movements. It would always lead me to believe it was somepony, only to change my mind later.
This whole chapter was really good. Can't wait for the next one.
Hey, don't hurt yourself! I'm loving this, and everyone else is too, but you don't have to pull all-nighters to keep us satisfied!
Fans only turn into rabid hordes after a week or so without updates :p
TITLE DROP WHAT
Oh man, though. Seriously, I love this so hard. I think my favourite part is how the little snippets from Mare Do Well's perspective show how she's actually kind of uncertain what she's doing, but when you see it from Rainbow Dash's perspective it's like she's hiding it and acting all smooth. That line about the flowers and moonlight was great. But if it doesn't turn out to be Steven Magnet I, for one, will be severely disappointed.
That was awesome.
Okay, I can't believe nobody's done this yet but...
Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition!
^Now we just need to do that with the letter 'M'.
49318
before I read that I did not know that I knew the meanings of so many v words in fact I didn't even know there were so many v words
GUYS I GOT IT
Everyone is Mare Do Well. They all just want to bang Rainbow Dash silly. I clever pony.
I can't stop reading! Help me! Oh, wait, no more chapters. MOAR!
Good! Moar!!
Commence the inflation of ego...you sir are a wonderful writer, despite some grammatical errors that I didn't even notice until I looked at the comments, I envy you for you massive amounts of imagination and creativity!
All that came from the heart, so I mean every word.
I have a message from the herd for you: We are very pleased with your work! You may live...for now. We look forward to your next chapter.
And now, I sign off!
Godspeed you magnificent bastard-BlazingShadowBrony
49415
i laughed
Good stuff, good stuff. I gotta say, I didn't go into this story expecting a good mystery. I figured the Mare's identity would be fairly obvious, and the first chapter's heavy nods towards Pinkie (combined with your track record so far...you ship Pinkie and Dash a lot. Which is good, by the way.) apparantly confirmed my expectations. But then you wrote the second chapter, with its potential loopholes in Twilight's denial, and Applejack's showing up late at the end of the chapter. And now we have Fluttershy, with her quiet brilliance and possible hidden talents and agendas. And Rarity's vague unhelpfulness could be incriminating, too. She clearly knows more than she's saying.
So...yeah. You've successfully stumped me so far. My money is still on Pinkie, but this really could go anywhere. Get that next chapter up ASAP! But not so fast that you make mistakes. Your writing and this story are too bucking awesome for that. Make sure you keep doing them justice!
Oh man. I was supposed to be doing homework but I saw that this was up and I lost all track of my responsibilities. (Confound these ponies, they cause me to procrastinate)
Fantastic, I love this story! It's a great mystery and it's getting more and more romantic. I really can't wait to read the next chapter. Good job!
It´s pretty obvious what´s going on here, Mare Do Well is quite clearly Tank and Stephen Magnet working together. Them reptiles are up to somethin.
But that aside, I´m just going to add to that "incredibly positive reception" and pray that you choose us over sleeping, because I´d like you a lot more if you don´t choose sleeping.
I want that next chapter.
Just saying.
lets see what happens next....
oh this is so good, soooo want to know who she is and what'll happen next
I MUST KNOW WHO SHE IS!!
48914
I just read that comment. When I got to the "That's it, story's over" part, I damn near had a heart attack.
Gah! Left in suspense again, I almost wish I came across this story once it was completed just so I can finally get to the end!
But still, it's great work and really I just look forward to reading the rest of the story, keep up the good work... just don't burn yourself out.
Awesome chapter, cant wait for more; though don't kill yourself trying to put so much out. Sleep dude.
So I just got back from work again and am completely blown away by the amount of love this story is getting. You guys are so awesome. I never expected this to gain so much popularity so quickly.
Chapter four might be a little late. I've decided to take the advice I've been getting and try actually sleeping tonight, meaning I won't be up all hours of the night typing up a storm in a rush to get it done as soon as possible. But to tide y'all over until then, here's a sneak peak.
Mare Do Well: I so wanna bang you.
Rainbow Dash: I don't even know who you are!
Mare Do Well: What difference does that make?
*STEAMY HOT MAKE-OUT SESSIONS FOR ALL*
Mare Do Well: *tears off mask* Surprise! Magneto!
Rainbow Dash: Uh...
Pinkie Pie: *GAAAAAAAAAASP!*
...okay, it's time for bed.
Daaaaaamn Mare Do-Well's got game lol. Really enjoying the story, very elaborate and well written and frustratingly enough no clues as to whos behind the mask. Damnit wheres the joker when you need him?
MOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR
Yes, Yes, YES!
Magneto IS best pony!
http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmo7t8dxFs1qbq6p9o1_1280.png?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAJ6IHWSU3BX3X7X3Q&Expires=1323074061&Signature=IaianMwloR4ZsRkWN%2FF47VUBv0A%3D
50541
Why so serious, brony?
Why isn't there a six-star rating option? That's what I want to give this.
There are still a few errors with grammar strewn about, but I barely noticed them for the story itself (and for me, that's saying something). I don't even remember where they are now; this has got my mind racing as fast as RD's trying to figure it out!
Expect chapter four sometime tomorrow, guys. Due to scheduling issues I won't have access to a computer to finish writing it on until then. (I'm actually typing this comment on my 3DS right now.)
Rest assured that chapter four IS coming, and soon...but I admit that I'm a little sad I had to break the daily updates thing I had going for a little while. Why not cheer me up by leaving me thousands of new comments to peruse and squee over? I love reading new comments. Go ahead and speculate as to who the new Mare Do Well is or whatever.
Yet another wonderful chapter. Finally, it's beginning to feel more like a romantic-mystery to me...is that even a genre? It should be; it's awesome! Although, I will admit that not knowing who it is can drive a reader/watcher insane. Here are my chapter thoughts on the suspects THIS time:
1. Pinkie Pie - For the third straight chapter, she remains at #1. I just don't have a good enough reason to NOT put her here. Everything points to her...which most likely means I'm wrong...but, it seriously fits for her. We all know she loves Dash, we know she's playful and likes to tease, and we KNOW she has a "serious" side when she feels like it. Plus, she can wind up almost anyplace she wants, due to her cartoonish ways. At the moment, she's still the one to beat.
2. Fluttershy - Back to chapter 1 with this one. Fluttershy has moved back up to #2. True, that entire scene with her was possibly just a red herring, like in the Scooby Doo shows; you know, where the gang talks a long time with a suspect and it SEEMS like it's them when it's really not? Still, you can't deny that Fluttershy DOES have a romantic feel about her, not to mention she clearly cares about Dash's well-being...now more than ever!
3. Twilight Sparkle - Again, she remains right in the middle. I just don't know which why she's leaning. I could make a case FOR her and a case AGAINST her. I really don't think she'd do this, even though I LOVE Twilight x Dash. It just doesn't FEEL like Twilight; if it is, I have to seriously protest, since Twilight would not act like a hero or tease Rainbow Dash. Still, on the other hand, I wouldn't mind if it was her; she's awesome.
4. Applejack - And our resident element of honesty drops back down to #4. I don't think she really "cares" that much about Rainbow Dash getting hurt. That sounds weird to say, but it's true; both girls are tough as nails, so neither one tends to worry that much about the other. Plus, despite these two being the most "obvious" shipping, I really don't see that many stories of them. So, I doubt you'd waste a story to write them. Plus, Mare Do Well doesn't speak in Applejack's voice.
5. Rarity - Despite the fact that Rarity does indeed remain unhelpful and she IS a romantic...not to mention sometimes playful and cute...I still firmly believe it cannot be her. This very well could mean it IS her, since it's always the one you least expect, but...I just can't see it. Although Rarity IS withholding information on that costume, it's basically her duty as a supplier...despite the fact Dash is one of her best friends. She makes me curious sometimes, but I don't think it's her.
Other possible suspects: Trixie, Spitfire, Derpy, Gilda, Rainbow Dash
What intrigues me is...the story started off with Dash coming back from the Wonderbolts show. That COULD be the biggest clue of all, and thus it COULD mean that Mare Do Well is Spitfire, if you put the pieces together. Spitfire is indeed somewhat playful, she is indeed heroic, she obviously liked Dash (well, at least to us fans), she's very fast and agile, and it's possible that Dash couldn't recognize her voice because even WE only heard it a few times. So, Spitfire is added to the list of "possibles", but I still think it could still be Rainbow Dash herself, too.
...find an editor, if you haven't already. I'd be glad to be yours.
Maredogood reminds me of V from V for Vendetta. Just make her talk in riddles and you got almost the same personality.
I'm beginning to board Tailslover's boat that it might be Rainbow Dash herself, it would be extremely weird, but it makes a little sense. She seems to know all of Rainbow's intentions and knows what will happen. It's just getting to be to convenient to ignore. Spitfire is going to come in as most likely, right next to AJ at this point. I have almost completely ruled out Fluttershy for the soul purpose that you seemed to be trying way to hard to get us to think it could be her, I suspect a red herring there. Rarity is another close suspect, I don't know why, but she just seems like a good choice in my head.
Anyway, great story, your a wonderful writer and I am now off to read the rest
Ponies I think it might be. Twilight, Luna, Trixie, vinyl Well maybething is the wrong word Hope is better! LOL
'This is a fantastic read. very well done
hi there i herd this was supposed to be a good fic. and i will say the idea is good and your writing is great but after 2 1/2 chapters its hard for me to read because dash seems soooooooo out of character. and theres several other minor things that have bothered me......
i'll try to read more later.....
btw i'm not trying to be negative or anything its just how i feel.
I'm gonna go ahead and say Spitfire. It actually is quite a clever accusation if I think about it. Rainbow was at a Wonderbolts show before hand, she could have followed her after the show. Another thing is that it says that she's able to hop from house to house, which only athletic ponies can do. It doesn't specify about the type of pony she is though, that would make it too easy.
When you titled dropped, I almost copied and pasted it here to say, "Titles should be capitalized, AA. For shame." Then I looked at it a second time.
Thingummies:
>She didn't want to become reduced to arguing with her best friends
Should be 'be' instead of 'becoming'.
>She was smarter than that; too smart to let what had happened bother her. That didn't stop it from bothering her.
What? Maybe I'm too derp to understand that part, but I don't get it. Le sorry.
>groupies that had been in the crowd (more like audience) that day.
I would take the part you put into parenthesis and make it one of RD's thoughts. For example;
"...groupies that had been in the crowd that day. More like audience, thought Rainbow Dash."
>If this Mare Do Well was anypony else, then she wouldn't know that I'd unmasked the original Mare Do Well, and she'd expect me to just buy whatever she did, since she I wouldn't know - but I do know.
Another accidentally the verb here- 'thought' in this case.
>So it must be one of us, since she knows enough to hide her voice around me so that I don't recognize it!" Then she frowned,
I'd have RD do something before she frowned- maybe, "...so that I don't recognize it!' she finished, proudly. She stopped for a moment, then frowned..."
>"Okay." Rainbow Dash answered with a curt nod. "That's all I needed to know; thanks." And then she took off, leaving behind a perplexed Nurse Redheart to watch her go.
More with the dialogue punctuation here(and probably in other places too when you check it over). The semicolon should be changed to a period or a comma, take your pick. And lastly, you can remove behind from the last sentence, or change the last part to 'watching her go' instead of 'to watch her go'.
>Rainbow asked after a moment in her characteristically blunt manner; but the mare remained as stoic as ever, not even faltering in the slightest.
Take out the 'even' in that last part.
>Their noses were practically touching.
Snouts*. I dunno exactly about that one, but I'm fairly sure it would be snouts.
This one took a little less time than last chapter, but hey I'm 1/5 of the way done!
I am way behind the times on this story, but I still feel the need to comment... YOU SIR, ARE A GOD. You write so descriptively, the way you write banter between the characters is almost perfect. I love this.
Can mare do well fly or is she defiantly a earth pony?
Oh I hope that mare do well is a colt....
Damn it AA, you and your fucking brilliant writing.
/sigh, who needs sleep anyway.
Swirly capes...
My... One... Weakness...
At the point where you describe Mare Do Well's voice, I pictured (sounded?), for one moment too long, the voice of Rorschach.
Now I can't stop reading her in that voice.
I don't know why there are so few stories with this concept in mind, not just fanfiction but fiction in general! The way one character goes to great lengths to effectively stalk someone in an elaborate way, with the other party finding themselves dealing with every fiery emotion under the sun as they attempt to deal with the situation. It's just so much fun!
Hmm, I suppose it's because unless you do it right, it'll end up bad. As in, Stephanie Meyer-bad.
48914 Damn. I was sure it was Bloomberg
Ok, not AJ, not Twi, not Rarity, not Fluttershy, so it's either Pinkie or a secondary/background pony. Does anyone have a three-sided coin I can flip?
Edit: I have no idea where that second part came from. My money's on Pinkie
Oh manny. This will not turn out well.
This story pulls at the very heart strings!
Not just any heart strings, but THEE heart strings...
Fantastic