Chapter 20: Climax
She ran. She didn't know where she ran to, just that she couldn't stop. Her legs ached and her lungs burned, but she couldn't pause, not even for a moment, because if she did, Rainbow Dash would catch her.
She was almost sick with fear of what Dash would do to her upon catching her, and this was the fear that propelled her forward. Her thoughts wouldn't quiet down long enough for her to actually stop and think, so she continued to run ahead blindly rather than risk giving herself even a moment of rest only to get caught off guard. Now, more than ever, she wished she could fly. If she had wings, at least they'd be on even ground.
Her heart was pounding against her ribcage so fast and so hard that she thought it might tear out of her chest at any moment. Her pulse fluttered in her throat, rapid and hot, and sweat stung her eyes. The panic was like a noose slipped around her neck, gradually tightening and constricting around her throat, choking the life out of her.
She should have waited to have her little temper tantrum. Waited until they were at least back in Ponyville. She didn't know Canterlot nearly well enough to outrun Rainbow in a chase; the city was like a maze, with countless unexpected twists and turns and buildings that were far too high for her to climb easily. Not only that, but the streets continued to bustle with life, even this late on Hearth's Warming Eve. It wasn't quite the urban sprawl of Manehattan, but it was still a living thing, huge and ever-shifting.
She was afraid of it, this strange and foreign place and the secrets it held. It could swallow her so easily. Especially since she didn't know where she was going.
Back home, the nights were silent and still. Peaceful, with the exception of the occasional easily-subdued petty criminal. She'd never had to worry about being seen by anypony during her midnight treks. Here, she had to limit herself to dark corners and narrow, abandoned alleys: places she might have chosen to haunt back home, but she now resented the fact that she was restricted to them, praying all the while that she wouldn't be spotted.
This was the kind of city where a mare running around in a mask and cape would likely be carted off to jail, or even to an asylum, rather than hailed as a genuine superhero. She wasn't a superhero, though. She was a stupid little filly who'd wanted to play pretend to impress her crush. She'd wanted to feel big and important and heroic because she'd thought that was what Rainbow Dash liked, and now she was being exposed for the coward she truly was. The kind of coward who shook so violently from fear of being caught that she could barely run. The kind of coward who would rather keep up the game until the very end, despite knowing what it was doing to Dash, rather than risk being exposed. The kind of coward who would rather quit and hide than drop the act, even now.
What had she expected to happen? Had she honestly believed that Rainbow Dash would just let her quietly fade away?
In an ideal world, Rainbow Dash would've begged her to stay, not because she wanted revenge or closure, but because the pegasus wanted her to stay.
In an ideal world, Rainbow Dash would've left her alone. Would've just let her disappear the way she wanted to and let everything go back to normal, forgetting any of this had ever happened.
In an ideal world, it would've taken just one kiss for everything to be okay again, and then they would've lived happily ever after.
But this wasn't a romance novel. It wasn't a superhero comic. It wasn't a movie and it wasn't a fairytale love story. It was reality, and in the real world, where those cherished ideals almost never came to pass, there were consequences to mistakes as huge and phenomenally stupid as the mistakes she'd made.
When you messed with somepony, they became angry, even if you'd only done it out a misguided sense of love. When you hurt somepony, they wanted to hurt you back, even if you'd only ever wanted to see them smile. And when you ran, they chased you, even if you only ran because you wanted them to forget that you'd ever been there in the first place.
She couldn't stop. When you're being chased by a pegasus capable of breaking the sound barrier, pausing to catch your breath isn't a good idea.
Shamefully, she couldn't help but feel almost grateful that Rainbow Dash's wings were still recovering; if they'd been whole and well, Mare Do Well wouldn't have had the slightest chance of escaping. If Rainbow was having trouble flying properly, that made things marginally easier.
So what was the plan? Was she just going to run and hope Rainbow Dash got bored and gave up? Not likely. Maybe she could hide and ditch the costume. But then Rainbow Dash would want to know why she was wandering Canterlot in the middle of the night, instead of hanging out at that stupid ball. Maybe she could go back to the palace? No, that was stupid; before she'd even finished thinking it, a voice in the back of her head screamed that's the dumbest idea ever!
Would it be better to stick to the ground, or should she take her chances on the rooftops that were more familiar to her? The ground was restrictive, and it would be easy to get cornered when she had to take such care to avoid being seen, but it would be harder for Rainbow Dash to follow her if she stuck to crowded areas and tight spots like the alley she was now running down. Still, maybe she should risk it; she had no idea where she was going, and she'd have a better view from above. Maybe then she could get some idea of where to go next. Maybe she could find somewhere to hide.
She was somewhere downtown by now; they weren't quite slums, but they were far rougher than the more sophisticated areas of the royal city that were reserved for aristocrats and tourists. Up ahead was a fire escape, and she didn't give herself time to rethink her next move; she was already climbing, hoof over hoof, scrambling up as fast as she could, faster than she knew she was capable of moving – it was strange, the way you could surprise yourself – and then she was on the roof.
This rooftop was small, and she covered the distance quickly before her hind-legs kicked off the edge.
It was such a rush. She'd been born with no wings, but as Mare Do Well, she could fly. Like a foal in a playground, she'd climbed and swung and leapt, gleefully delighting in the freedom of it. Even if she'd only donned the mask with the intention of approaching Rainbow Dash without fear, she'd gotten carried away more than once with the superhero persona she'd taken on. There was nothing so exhilarating as the feeling of hanging in the air mid-jump, heart pounding fit to burst and stomach flip-flopping. It was terrifying and wonderful all at once; terrifying because she was never quite sure if she'd make it, always afraid that this would be the one time that she slipped and fell, and wonderful because... well, just because. As long as she didn't look down.
It was a long jump, but she made it, landing with a hard thud on the building across the way.
Then, only then, did Mare Do Well allow herself to chance a brief glance backwards. She almost laughed with relief when Rainbow Dash was nowhere to be seen.
• • •
Where did she go?!
It was like a scene out of a greeting card. The night was cold and clear, the moon huge and shining and lovely, the snow softly falling. The shops were decorated with tinsel and glittering lights and festive garlands, holiday carols drifting out onto the streets; streets full of laughing, busy ponies, all infused with the good cheer of the season.
It should've been easy to spot something as conspicuous as a mare in a cape dashing ahead through the merry throng, yet somehow, Rainbow Dash had lost sight of her. Mare Do Well had melted into the darkness as easily as ever. Now, Rainbow Dash's gaze swept over the scene splayed out before her, desperately searching for some sign that she'd been here.
In a quiet community like Ponyville, all she would've had to do was look for hoofsteps, but there wasn't a single patch of undisturbed snow as far as the eye could see. Even now, when it was practically midnight, ponies of every age were trotting about, oblivious to the frustration felt by the rainbow-maned pegasus.
Heck, in Ponyville, Rainbow Dash could've just flown overhead to try and scope out Mare Do Well from above, but that wouldn't work in Canterlot. It was too freaking big. There were too many places that Rainbow wouldn't be able to see, places that the mare could hide.
Then, Rainbow Dash noticed the sign hanging outside the building nearest to her. It was the café that she and Pinkie had gone to. The café they'd had hot chocolate in. The café she'd thought about kissing Pinkie in.
That was all it took for her to feel another surge of anger. No, not even that. It was more than mere anger. It was bitterness and betrayal, and a hurt so deep that she wanted to scream.
Rainbow Dash rushed forward, grabbing the first pony she saw by the shoulders and whipping him around so that he was facing her.
"Did you see anypony go by here just now?" she asked, words tumbling out in a rush.
He raised his eyebrows. "I work a newsstand in Canterlot, lady," he replied with a smirk. "I see a lotta ponies go by."
It was all Rainbow Dash could do to keep from smacking him. "No!" she snapped. "A pony with a hat and a cape, all black and purple! I could've sworn she went this way! Did you see anything like that?"
"A hat and cape?" he asked, a note of interest in his voice. Rainbow Dash nodded urgently. He lifted a hoof to scratch the back of his head, brow furrowed in thought.
"You know, it's the funniest thing," he said conversationally, despite Rainbow's impatient scowl. "I gotta cousin over in Ponyville who works as a reporter, and she came up to visit for the holidays. Said there was a big story a little while ago about this weather pony who was saved by some kinda superhero. The hero had a cape and funny name and everything, too. It's on the tip of my tongue... Mare Do Good? Mare Do Right? Something like that."
"Mare Do Well," Rainbow corrected through gritted teeth.
"Mare Do Well?" the stallion repeated, face lighting up. "Like ne'er do well? I like that. It's clever," he chuckled. "I'll remember that one. Anyway, no, sorry. I didn't see anypony like that. But if you –"
Rainbow Dash didn't wait to hear what else he had to say, already bolting forward to grab somepony else.
"Didyouseeasuperherogoby?" she asked in one breath. If Rainbow had stopped to think first, she might have realized how crazy that sounded and wouldn't have been surprised when the unicorn just shrugged her off in disgust before quickly trotting away, not even deigning to answer. As it was, she just rolled her eyes before moving on to a nearby pegasus to ask the exact same question.
By the fourth time Rainbow Dash was shrugged off with no reply, her frustration had reached its peak and she was about ready to explode. Then she heard it. The tiny, squeaky voice of a very young colt, maybe only a foal, asking, "Mommy, did you see that?"
Rainbow Dash looked, her eyes following the tiny outstretched hoof of the colt who had spoken. And then she saw it – in the distance, so far away and so tiny as to very possibly be a figment of her imagination, a streak of black tearing across the sky. In a flash, Rainbow was gone, chasing it.
• • •
"Hey!"
Oh no.
Ohnoohnoohnoohnoohnoohnoohno...
She tried to keep running, to will her limbs back into motion. But at the sound of Rainbow Dash's voice, she froze up, legs locking, the noose of fear easily slipping back around her throat, strangling her. Nonononononononononononononono...
But she had to stay calm. Even if she didn't feel it, she had to at least act it. Had to keep up the game. Had to keep up the charade. If her body was going to disobey her and stop working properly, she would take advantage of that. She had to act like she'd intended to do this.
Uttering a silent prayer of thanks that the disguise she wore would hide the terror that was undoubtedly written all over her face, Mare Do Well took a deep breath, and turned to face her pursuer.
It must have made a strange sight. Two ponies perched on the roof of a brownstone apartment building, somewhere in the downtown pseudo-slums of Canterlot; on one side, a mare dressed in black and violet, head adorned with a wide-brimmed hat and a cape tossed rakishly over her shoulders. On the other, a pegasus with a brilliantly colored rainbow mane, the likes of which had never been seen anywhere else in Equestria. Both of them were still; Rainbow Dash glaring, teeth gritted in determination, Mare Do Well's expression blank and unreadable due to the mask she wore.
"Still planning to run?" Rainbow Dash spat.
It would've been so easy for her to dart forward and grab Mare Do Well. It would've been so easy for Mare Do Well to start fleeing once again. But neither of them moved, too focused on each other to take a single step in any direction. Except for the snow that was quietly falling all around them, one might have almost thought that they were looking at a still photo of a scene rather than the scene itself.
"Why can't you just let me go?" Mare Do Well managed to choke through the noose. Her voice sounded steady to her ears; that was good. She needed to sound calm. She couldn't freak out. "Why can't you let things go back to normal? I told you, I'll disappear. I won't bother you anymore. That's what you wanted, isn't it?"
"Are you serious?" A hard, brittle laugh and a bitter smile. "Do you seriously think things can just go back to normal after you pulled a crazy stunt like this? There's no way I'm just letting you go. Not now. Not after everything you did. Even if I don't get anything else out of all this, I'm at least going to know who you are."
Heart pounding. Mouth dry. The noose tightens. She can't breathe.
Rainbow Dash's coat was illuminated almost silver in the moonlight, and although she looked angry, angry beyond belief, she still managed to look so incredibly beautiful, wrathful and glorious all at once like some kind of avenging angel. Almost ethereal.
I love you, Mare Do Well thought helplessly. As if that would make any difference now.
• • •
Mare Do Well didn't move. She just sat there, as if she wasn't even listening. As if she didn't even care. Didn't she understand how big this was? Didn't she understand how mad Rainbow Dash was? Even now, she was as smug and hateful as ever. Why had Rainbow Dash ever felt anything deeper for her? Why had she ever thought that she could like the mare?
"What's the point?" Mare Do Well challenged. Taunting her. "It's not going to make any difference now. All this is going to do is turn you against one of your friends. Do you want that? It's not worth the risk. Let me go. Pretend none of this ever happened. I swear I'll disappear, just like I promised."
"That doesn't work, you idiot," Rainbow Dash snarled. "I've been doing that my whole life, and it never works! If you ignore things, they just simmer, and build up below the surface, until they finally explode!"
"Maybe you don't really want to know. Maybe a part of you would rather keep the mystery. Maybe you don't want to have to think of one of your friends like this."
"No, I don't, but a bigger part of me needs to know," Rainbow retorted.
"Maybe I was never real. Maybe I'm just a figment of your imagination."
"Well, then at least I'd know I was crazy instead of always wondering."
Another silence fell over them.
Rainbow Dash panted. She didn't want to say anything – she didn't want to confess to any kind of weakness, especially not now – but the chase had taken a lot out of her. Her wings were still stiff and sore, and flying after her that way had been a lot harder than she'd expected. That was the only reason she wasn't charging right then. If Mare Do Well wasn't running, Rainbow Dash wasn't going to chase; at least, not until she'd taken a moment to catch her breath.
And of course, that was the way fate would have it. The moment that Rainbow Dash acknowledged her relief at the break, Mare Do Well would have to suddenly whip around, taking a running leap and once again flying through the night.
There was no time to hesitate. Rainbow Dash shot after her.
• • •
Her heart was in her throat. Again and again, her mind returned to the look of mingled anger and triumph and determination that had blazed in Rainbow Dash's eyes only moments ago.
She was going to die. Either she was going to slip and fall, or Rainbow Dash was going to catch her and kill her, or her lungs would finally give out, or maybe her heart would just explode, or something. It didn't even matter how it happened; she just knew it, with a sense of overwhelming certainty. She was going to die.
Just to make things worse, she somehow managed to land wrong. Normally she was able to get in position before landing, knees bent and ready, but tonight she was distracted and shockwaves of pain shot up her legs, making her cry out. Her knees almost gave out then and there. But that would've been so anticlimactic, really, to end up getting caught because she'd screwed up the landing and fell over, so she forced herself to get back up and push onwards. It was a good thing she could be so fast. It was a good thing Rainbow Dash was hurt. No, that wasn't a good thing and she was a horrible pony for thinking like that, but she didn't have time to feel guilty. She needed to get out of there, nownownownownow.
She was quickly approaching the edge of yet another roof, and the closest building was too far away; there was no way she'd be able to make that jump. But Rainbow Dash would be expecting her to at least try, and would probably shoot on straight ahead, flying too fast to immediately stop. If Mare Do Well aimed for the balcony below instead, maybe she'd buy herself enough time to make her getaway.
It was worth a shot.
Once again, her hind-legs prepared to kick off the edge.
"Mare Do Well!" a voice behind her screamed.
And she froze.
• • •
The moment Mare Do Well stopped, Rainbow Dash screeched to a halt in midair. If she'd kept going, she would've flown directly into the mare, knocking them both over the edge.
"What did you just call me?" Mare Do Well demanded. Her voice shook.
That hadn't been what Rainbow Dash had been expecting her to say, and if Mare Do Well had been looking, rather than standing with her back to the pegasus, she would've seen the blatant confusion on her face.
"Um, I said Mare Do Well?" Rainbow ventured.
"No," Mare Do Well said quietly, shaking her head. "No. No... no! Don't call me that! Don't call me that!"
Her voice began to grow louder, sinking further and further into panic with each word spoken, and suddenly she was shouting.
"Don't call me that!" she screamed. "That's not who I am! That's not my name!"
"Well, what am I supposed to call you?" Rainbow Dash shouted back. "I don't even know your name!"
"I don't know, but don't call me Mare Do Well!"
• • •
Rainbow Dash had never called her that before. Never. Not even once. Or had she? Maybe she had, and she'd just never noticed. But it sounded so strange, to hear that name on her tongue.
When they five of them had first begun the Mare Do Well masquerade, they hadn't picked a name; the mayor had given it to them after the first incident, and they'd just gone along with it. When she'd adopted the Mare Do Well persona on her own, she'd assumed the name as well.
But the name wasn't hers. It wasn't even a name she'd chosen. It was a name she'd been given, a name forced upon her that she'd only continued to use out of convenience.
Mare Do Well wasn't real. Mare Do Well was a character. Mare Do Well was a part she was playing.
And Rainbow Dash thought she was Mare Do Well.
She wanted to scream.
Rainbow Dash didn't know her at all; the point of all of this had been to find a way to be real in front of Rainbow Dash, a way to be real and honest without jeopardizing the friendship they had, and it had backfired so utterly spectacularly that words failed her.
A strangled cry of pain was rising up from somewhere deep inside of her, a cry that she tried to stifle by shoving her hooves over her mouth, but nothing could quell the sound.
"Mare Do Well?"
"Stop it!" she sobbed. "Don't say that! Don't call me that!"
She couldn't stay here. Not with Rainbow Dash looking at her like that, looking at her with confusion and something like fear in her eyes.
So she turned, and she ran.
In retrospect, that was a very, very bad idea. When you're breaking apart into a thousand million pieces and being chased across rooftops in a city like Canterlot and you're shaking so hard you can barely stand and you can't even see because you're blinded by your own tears, it's probably best to just stay put, rather than risk making another running jump.
Because if you do risk the jump, you also risk losing focus and looking down. And when you look down, you aren't looking where you're going, because all you can think about is falling, and then your hooves stumble on the edge, and the next thing you know, you are falling.
If she cried out, she didn't hear it. One moment she was struggling to hold herself together, and the next thing she knew, she was plummeting through the air into the alley between the pair of buildings, the sidewalk rushing closer, closer.
Until somepony slammed into her.
Her breathing was shallow and quick, but she was still breathing, because she was being cradled like a filly by the pegasus bringing her to safety.
Because she wanted to stay that way, enfolded in the warmth of Rainbow Dash's embrace.
She was still crying, but these tears weren't the agonized sobs of before. These were silent tears, quietly trailing down her face as all of her love and grief finally spilled over, too much for her to carry any longer.
She wrapped her forelegs around Rainbow Dash's neck, burrowing her face in her neck.
One moment, she'd been falling. The next, she was being carried. But even if she hadn't hit the ground, she knew that Mare Do Well was dead. The knowledge was like the lifting of a burden that she hadn't noticed the weight of before. Whatever happened now, she no longer had a mask to hide behind. There was only herself.
• • •
Rainbow Dash tried to be careful as she held Mare Do Well, but that lasted only as long as they were in flight. When they reached the ground, she dropped her, letting the mare slam down onto the sidewalk before roughly pinning her down with her hooves. The mare gave a cry before beginning to struggle, writhing and squirming beneath Rainbow Dash. She straddled Mare Do Well, intentionally looming over her. It felt pretty good, actually, to know that she was the one in control for once.
"All right," Rainbow Dash panted. Then she paused, unsure of what to say next. She swallowed, and took a deep breath before starting again. "All right. So how's this gonna go down?"
"Please," Mare Do Well whimpered. "Please don't. Please, I'll do anything. Just let me go. Please."
"Uh-uh. I don't think so. See, I think I kind of like having you under me like this," Rainbow Dash answered lightly. Her voice sounded so much calmer than how she actually felt, and she tightened the grip she had on Mare Do Well's forelegs, driving them harder into the alley. Mare Do Well let out another gasp of pain.
"You know what I'm gonna do?" Rainbow hissed. "I'm gonna tell you exactly why I hate you. And you're gonna listen."
Mare Do Well didn't answer.
"I hate you because you came out of nowhere. I hate you because you just had to keep popping up whenever I didn't want to see you, bugging me over and over again, even though you must have known how much I didn't want to see you," Rainbow Dash began. It was harder to speak than she'd expected; it was like there was a knot somewhere in her throat that threatened to gag her. But she kept going, because she needed to say this, and she needed the mare to hear it.
"I hate you because you were selfish and wouldn't leave me alone. I hate you because you made me doubt my friends. I hate you because you turned me into a different pony, a pony who couldn't sleep and couldn't relax and couldn't focus on anything. I hate you because you took things from me. You took my peace of mind, you... you took Pinkie! You took my best friend, and I don't know if I'm ever going to get her back after all of this!"
"I –" Mare Do Well began, but then she stopped, shrinking beneath Rainbow Dash's glare.
"I hate you because you made me different," Dash continued, flapping her wings with a sharp snap. "I hate you because you made me deal with things I would have rather avoided. Because of you, I had to confront all these issues I didn't even know I had."
She paused, and purely out of spite, she ground her hooves a little deeper, just to hear Mare Do Well cry out again. It was sadistic of her, she knew that, but it was so unbelievably satisfying that she couldn't help it.
Rainbow took another deep breath.
This was the hardest part.
"You didn't even mean to do it, either," she continued. "You made me face up to all these problems I had, made me realize I needed to deal with them, and you never even meant to. You just wanted to... I don't even know. But that's why. I hate you because you made me care about what you wanted. I hate you because you made me worry about you. You made me like you, and I didn't want to."
Mare Do Well had grown still, no longer struggling.
"I hate you," Rainbow Dash repeated, her voice little more than a whisper. "I hate you so much. I hate you for doing this to me. I hate you for making me not want to hate you."
All around them were the sounds of the city and the season, and here they were, alone in this tiny little pocket of Canterlot, unseen and unheard by anypony but each other. Just the two of them, as close to being eye-to-eye as one could hope for when one of them wore a mask.
The mood was quietly changing between them. Shifting. They were no longer a hunter and prey.
Mare Do Well's body, still sheathed in her black and violet costume, was slick and shining from the melting snowflakes she was dusted with, but Rainbow Dash could still feel her warmth. She could feel the mare's chest rise and fall as she breathed. It made her seem so much more real. Before, Rainbow Dash might have actually believed that she had never existed – that maybe she had imagined the whole thing. Now, though, there was no doubt.
A third deep breath, and at last, Rainbow moved in, slowly lowering her head.
Mare Do Well gave a tiny whimper.
"No more hiding," Rainbow Dash said softly. "No more running away. Nothing's gonna go away; it's just gonna come back later. It's better to face it now."
"I'm scared," Mare Do Well whispered.
She had never sounded as young or as vulnerable as she did right then.
"It's going to be all right," Rainbow Dash found herself saying, in a tone far gentler than she'd even known herself capable of using. "I don't know how, exactly, but we'll figure it out."
Mare Do Well was no longer trying to pull away, so Rainbow Dash at last released her hold on the mare's forelegs, moving instead to cup her face.
She closed her eyes. Leaning forward, she gripped the cloth of the mask between her teeth, and with a swift movement, tore it away.
Then, eyes still shut, Rainbow Dash kissed her.
• • •
She hadn't been expecting this.
It was more of an assault than a kiss. Like a purely accidental collision of mouths – hard and angry and fierce and full of so much wanting that she almost couldn't stand it. And yet, as brutal as it was, the moment their lips met, there was such beautiful, soaring release.
One of Rainbow Dash's hooves slid downwards, pressing flat against her stomach, as if to keep her still. But even if she'd wanted to move right then, she wouldn't have been able to. She couldn't move. She was too startled.
Finally, Rainbow Dash broke away. Her eyes were closed; they hadn't flickered open, even once, and she panted, the breath of the pegasus hot and sweet as it mingled with her own.
"What are you doing?" she managed to gasp, feeling almost breathless herself. "You didn't even –"
And Rainbow Dash silenced her with another kiss, bringing her mouth down upon hers.
Swift, possessive and hungry: that was what the caress of Rainbow Dash's lips felt like. The same hunger that she'd felt for so long. This time, she didn't pull back or wrench away; she responded immediately, leaning forward into the kiss.
Rainbow Dash's hooves were still pressed against her chest, still keeping her in place, but she was no longer pinned down. Not really. Not the way she'd been before. After all, her forelegs were free. And now, she wrapped them around Rainbow Dash's neck, drawing the pegasus even closer.
• • •
Rainbow Dash kept her eyes shut. It was stupid, but it was almost like she was trying to pretend that could just stay this way, thoroughly wrapped in one another, and that a time when she had to know the truth would never come.
A part of her needed to know who the pony who prowled in the dark was, the pony now kissing her back, but at the same time, another part of her needed to keep up the charade for just a little while longer. Because no matter what she'd promised, she knew it was a lie.
Things were going to change for them. Whoever Mare Do Well was, the moment Rainbow Dash laid eyes upon her face without the mask, things were going to break. Whatever friendship they had would become fractured.
But even if they cracked after all, there was always the slightest possibility that they would eventually be able to put themselves back together again. That was what she needed to believe. After all, she'd once been in love with Fluttershy, and the rejection had shattered her heart into a thousand million different pieces, and yet, here she was. She was still alive.
You couldn't fit this well with somepony if there wasn't some way for you to be whole together. You couldn't kiss somepony like this and never find a way to be with them without your heart breaking as your whole world turned upside down.
Countless soft, hesitant kisses followed that initial passion; fleeting and uncertain brushes of their lips, of their mouths against their skin, every kiss full of a tenderness that left Rainbow Dash needing more as her fur prickled.
At last, Rainbow Dash managed to say, voice hoarse from the way her throat tightened, "I guess you won."
Even now, her eyes were closed. She didn't want to see yet. She wasn't ready.
She felt Mare Do Well shift beneath her, sighing as the mare pressed her face into the crook of Rainbow Dash's neck. There was so much affection in such a simple gesture; it was overwhelming, causing her eyes to sting with the threat of even more tears. Since when did she ever cry this much?
"I called the game off, remember?" Mare Do Well answered, voice little more than a mumble.
Rainbow Dash's eyes were beginning to water behind the closed lids, and she realized that the stinging wasn't because she was on the verge of crying; it was because she couldn't hold her eyes shut much longer.
"I'm gonna have to look sometime."
"It would've been so much easier if I could've just been the bad guy for real," the mare said weakly. "Then I wouldn't have felt so incredibly guilty about all of this."
"If you were a bad guy for real, what would you have done?"
"I don't even know. Maybe... maybe I would've just taken you away somewhere, somewhere where I could've kept you to myself and not have had to worry about what would happen to us afterwards. But I couldn't exactly do that, could I? Not without getting arrested or something."
"Only if they found you."
A moment passed.
There was only silence, the sound of the two of them breathing and the hushed whisper of snow falling.
"We'll be okay," Rainbow Dash said, her voice firmer this time. "I promise. No matter what happens. I'm not going to give up on you."
And without waiting for a reply, she enfolded the mare in one final embrace before quietly lowering her to the ground.
"Are you ready?" she asked.
"No," Mare Do Well answered, still breathless and panting.
A smile twitched at the corners of her mouth, and Rainbow Dash ducked her head in, so that her mouth was moving against the shape of Mare Do Well's ear.
"Too bad," she whispered. She could feel the mare shiver beneath her.
It was time. She took one final deep breath.
Mare Do Well was perfectly still, as if preparing herself for what was coming. For whatever Rainbow did next.
And Rainbow Dash opened her eyes.
Under her... before her... there lay a pony clothed in shades of midnight, a cape fanned out beneath her. Atop her head there was perched a matching wide-brimmed hat.
But now, there was no mask to protect her face. No facade to hide behind.
There was only her.
Big blue eyes. A mouth, seemingly unsure about whether or not it was meant to smile. And a mane, bright and beautifully pink, pooling around her like a waterfall, long and straight as glass.
• • •
Rainbow Dash's jaw dropped. Her eyes were wide, her voice disappearing somewhere on its way to her mouth. Utterly lost for words.
"No," was all Rainbow could think to say, and a flicker of pain flashed in those eyes, those big and beautiful eyes. The exact same color as the sky that Rainbow Dash loved so much. "No. No. That doesn't make sense."
And still she had nothing to say for herself, only watching as Rainbow Dash shook her head, wings fluttering anxiously.
"That doesn't make sense," Rainbow Dash repeated. Her hooves had found their way to the mare's shoulders, gripping her as tightly as she could without even meaning to. The mare winced, then gave Rainbow a weak smile.
"Surprised?" Pinkie Pie whispered.
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*squee*
LOL that note about Daring Do(o?)! XD
CHAPTER 20 AND CHAPTER 21. SHALL COMMENT AGAIN WHEN I AM DONE READING
edit ;;
NO.
GAH.
I accidentally jumped to the bottom of the page and I saw the words Pinkie. XD
From that moment on, I knew that ... Oh I don't even know ... xD
PINKIE?!
*flails*
This is SO not making me happy XD
Two updates! It's like a third Christmas!
Edit: It's like one of those christmases where you get a cheap bootleg of what you wanted.
I'm normally a fan of PinkieDash, but it just seemed nonsensical for this story.
...good, it's over.
Ha! Called it since chapter 1! Yes! Best ship is best
seen it coming for a little, still the fact that you kept me completely in the dark for at least 15 chapters definitely gets you some bonus points. It's great to see this once small story become an epic behemoth of a tale. Well done.
Well, I guess tails called it so long ago with pinkies alibi being bull.
FINALLY I CAN SLEEP AT NIGHT!
I'm not mad, just very disappointed. Maybe the next chapter will explain but for now I am very disappointed.
I KNEW IT!!!
Didn't see that coming.
I KNEW IT
I had a feeling it was going to be Pinkie Pie after the last 2 chapters. It's nice to see the Mare Do Well, even though some people (mainly Tailslover13. No offense) doesn't like the results. I'm okay with it though, even though there were a few plot holes. Hopefully the next chapter will explain everything..
Wonder how the next chapter will go?
Nicely done; the chase scene did a good job of dropping enough hints to solidify that it was Pinkie (such as not knowing Canterlot when Chapter 19 had narrowed the suspect pool down to Pinkie Twilight, and MDW's thoughts about how MDW wasn't real) but the writing still kepts up just enough to tension to only make me 99.9% sure.
Since Pinkie and Dash are my two favorite ponies, I approve of this outcome.
See, Tails? That wasn't so bad, was it?
Honestly, I am glad it's Pinkie Pie, but not because it means I was right- well, not ENTIRELY, anyway.
I'm glad it's Pinkie because this means we get the best happy ending. Dash ends up with MDW anyway, and it's because she's also Pinkie.
I'm glad it's Pinkie because it's the expected ending. Surprises are cool and all for stories, but when it comes down to it, you really can't beat the expected ending when it's a happy one like this.
I'm happy it's Pinkie because this sort of ending is a relief for me. Partly because it's expected, yes; to be honest, I don't really like surprises. But also because, in spite of everything, Dash's hopes might actually come to fruition.
And I'm happy it's Pinkie because... well, so much that I just can't put into words. Most of it having to do with the relief I feel, but everything else I can't even begin to describe.
Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I knew it but wished I was wrong
poor table
Wha..just happened!?!
Well. I wasn't expecting THAT.
It was the only logical choice. No other character had the same development and relationship with RD. No other character got the same amount of screen time or care put into them, or were exposed as much to the audience. AA had to build a relationship and a strange dynamic between them because it all led up to this.
You honestly all shouldn't be so very surprised, or angry. It was clear from the moment the PP-RD dynamic began that it would be our Pink Party Pony under the mask.
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Yes!
No... 
Yes! 
No, argh. I'm confused about my own feelings 
I wanted it to be Pinkie for so long. It also makes sense in terms of story telling, I mean Rarity and Twilight barely had any screen time. But two or three chapters back, Twilight started creeping in as a suspect again (And that wasn't even possible except she used some Deus Ex Machina illusion spell in the party chapter!). I think I'm still glad it's Pinkie, but the situation is much more messed up than a few chapters earlier.
The chapter was great, I really liked the kiss(es). I mean, FINALLY!
Guess the next one is the "Here is what happend"-chapter, gonna read that now.
I...
Oh my god.
I'm just...
I'll just leave it at "I called it" until I read 21.
I...
Oh my god.
I'm just...
I'll just leave it at "I called it" until I read 21.
YESSSS! I NEW IT WAS PINKIE!!! alkscjl;eqhvlghwoUEF jwnqEF YWESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
KJEFJ im dead.
I... don't even know how my brain is still intact. Really, I shouldn't be surprised, seeing as how it was either Pinkie or Twilight in the end (then you snuck AJ into my thoughts as well, mind you), but when you keep us all guessing throughout 19 whole (awesome) chapters, i guess the confusion just piled ontop of me until the point of *BOOM!!*
You inspire me dude. seriously.
First, though I've said this before, I feel it bears repeating: I have always believed while reading this story (from chapter 4 or so onwards, at least), and continue to believe, that Mare Do Well being Pinkie enhances the story and does not detract from it. In fact, I believe Mare Do Well being anyone BUT Pinkie would have been what might have made for a disappointing ending. Sure, it doesn't really make a very good mystery, past the first four or so chapters--but then, I'm not so sure this story was ever MEANT to be that much of a mystery. I think something far deeper and far more wonderful has been going on here.
The story was never REALLY, "Who is Mare Do Well?" That was part of it, sure, and that was certainly the story hook, but there soon came far more interesting questions:
Who are we? Is there a real, objective self ... or are we simply what others perceive us to be? Are we simply whatever we choose to be in any given moment, or are there internal truths that remain constant throughout time?
Can we ever really know another person? Can we ever really know OURSELVES?
What does it mean to love another person? What does it mean to love yourself? Can we really love ourselves?
And on and on.
These explorations are so much more interesting to my mind, so much more beautiful, than what you'd find in some generic noir potboiler. And I swear that I am trying to put aside all of my Rainbow Pie biases, which I admittedly have, while saying that. I firmly believe that if it had been Rarity (for example) who'd featured in the story the way Pinkie has, with the exploration of hidden depths and her relationship with Rainbow, that I would have thought it was Rarity who was Mare Do Well and would have wanted Rarity to have been the one who was Mare Do Well.
These are just my readings and interpretations, of course. Others are fully welcome to disagree. But perhaps some folks will find their disappointment eased a bit if they think of the story more in these terms? I don't know. All I can say is, I feel like I've gotten the story I was lead to believe I'd be getting, and that I stopped thinking of this as primarily a mystery during the early single-digit chapters.
I'm so happy to see that the story is still incomplete, by the way. I think it could have ended right where it did, and that would have been perfectly fine, but I am looking forward to more. Now, on to specific chapter reviews, starting with this one ...
I love the pacing. Wonderful, wonderful. You write action very well, which is something with which I myself struggle. I liked the imagery of a "noose of fear" closing around MDW's neck--and, of course, the metaphor of it provides, of a condemned prisoner nearing the end of her life. I liked Mare Do Well and Rainbow's stand-off on the rooftop, after MDW paused for breath, especially how even then MDW couldn't help but reflect on how beautiful she finds Dash and how she loves her.
Loved MDW's freak-out at being called "Mare Do Well." Can't actually recall myself if RD has called her that before; will have to go back and reread to find out. Also, it's understandable but unfair for MDW to be so frustrated that RD doesn't know her (or so MDW claims)--as MDW doesn't even really know herself, in many ways. How can anyone else be expected to?
And, oh, how bittersweet it was when Rainbow caught MDW when she fell. So lovely with symbolism, too. A callback to the beginning, where MDW was the one to catch Rainbow ... "I'll catch you if you fall" ...
Kinda really liked how rough Rainbow was with MDW after they'd landed. The hints of something darker in RD than perhaps either of them might've expected. And she did deserve this moment, after everything she's been through--she deserved a bit of revenge. I loved Rainbow's little speech about hating MDW, the entire progression from anger to hurt to utter brokenness. That was lovely, in particular the line "I hate you for making me not want to hate you."
And Rainbow continues to be outrageously amazing, when she says:
"It's going to be all right." Rainbow Dash found herself saying, in a tone far gentler than she'd even known herself capable of using. "I don't know how, exactly, but we'll figure it out."
Seriously, Rainbow Dash is amazing in this story. That even at this moment, when she seems the most broken, she can bring herself to reassure MDW like this--simply because she knows MDW is one of her friends, and she loves her friends--is amazing. Even if Rainbow reflects that this was a lie, I knew it wasn't.
And the kiss. The kiss, the kiss, THE KISS. Loved it. I liked that Rainbow grabbed this moment to finally take what she wanted so badly before having to face up to reality. Oh, Rainbow, there you go breaking my heart again.
I was surprised, though, that there was no commentary from RD on what MDW tastes like. There was so much foreshadowing about that, about whether all ponies taste the same when you kiss them, that I'd thought Rainbow would immediately recognize the taste of MDW (and that that might be when she realized who MDW is).
You couldn't fit this well with somepony if there wasn't some way for you to be whole together. You couldn't kiss somepony like this and never find a way to be with them with them without your heart breaking as your whole world turned upside down.
This is lovely. Rainbow is such a closet romantic. From personal experience, I can attest that this actually isn't true ... but I like that Rainbow believes (hopes?) this is so.
At last, Rainbow Dash managed to say, voice hoarse from the way her throat tightened, "I guess you won."
...
"I called the game off, remember?" Mare Do Well answered, voice little more than a mumble.
I really enjoy the inversion here. This SHOULD be the climatic moment--where Rainbow finally admits defeat, something MDW has been working towards for endless chapters now--but, in context, this couldn't be less climatic. Because they are so far beyond the game at this point, so far beyond anywhere either of them thought they'd be.
"Only if they found you."
It's a small thing, this response, but it says so much. MDW has just been really super creepy, and Rainbow just takes it completely in stride. It's a glimmer of hope for the future of the two of them, that maybe they are compatible in some strange, messed-up way.
"Too bad." she whispered.
HA. Very nice call-back. This chapter is, in many ways, Rainbow's Crowning Moment of Awesome. I love, love, love how MDW's and RD's positions have been largely reversed in this entire scene.
"No," was all Rainbow could think to say; and a flicker of pain flashed in those eyes, those big and beautiful eyes. The exact same color as the sky that Rainbow Dash loved so much. "No. No. That doesn't make sense."
Oh, that's gotta be like one last twist of the knife for MDW ... should I even be calling her MDW still, at this point? Anyways, I can just imagine the implications of that--"no, no, the pony I've fallen for can't possibly be YOU"--must have been awful for Pinkie.
Also, one finally note before I progress to reviewing chapter 21. I thought this was a nice bit of amusing irony, during so many tense moments in this chapter: "But this wasn't a romance novel."
i.imgur.com/BX9tY.png
Hah, I called it; knew it would be Pinkamena, or some form of straight-haired Pinkie at least.
even though i knew who it was i hate you
Oh man, I was desperately hoping it wouldn't be Pinkie for the last few chapters, but it is. Damn. Couldn't see how a happy ending would work out for anypony else though, so I guess it's still pretty cool. Very great chase scene though, tons of emotion in this chapter as well.
Hm. I guess it WOULD be fitting to be Pinkie, but still, it's a little disappointing. I can understand that Pinkie would still do the MDW thing just to be close to Dashie, but what I DON'T understand is why MDW didn't want Dashie being with Pinkie. I'm confused, disappointed... And impressed. Well done, you glorious bastard.
FUCK YOU. THIS WAS THE MOST NONSENSICAL AND FAN SERVICING THING I HAVE EVER READ.
I think I'd have to agree with PalePony.... not mad just disappointed really...... oh well.... shoulda coulda woulda I suppose..... it's all just hinge on the explanation now.
I was expecting Rarity. Also, Rainbow's "I hate you" speech reminded me of the song "I Hate Myself For Loving You" by Joan Jett.
Something just broke inside of my head, but I'm fine with that.
Knew it from the beginning, but still pretty fucking shocking. Like, what in the goddamn?!
Damned emotionally powerful. You pulled this off flawlessly.
I KNEW IT!
Comment #53 on Chapter 14.
Had a solid notion early on that it was Pinkie, so much so that I thought well it can't be. That would be to easy, so part of me hoped that it wasn't simply because of that. Even if it was her being MDW to avoid being judged as she often is, it still comes down to a very Pinkie thing to do something strange like a superhero costumed lover. A common theme in various fics is her doing something out of her ordinary so I thought, this might very well be one that lets one of the others break out of their role in a good way for once. Makes sense that it's her, but to much sense. Like a part of me didn't want it to be her so it would be more of a challenge in the end. To explore another pony with a duality other than the one we constantly get hammered with, Pinkamena. I'm certainly not one to demand a certain ship, oh no it had to be AJ/Dash, or whomever, that's not what it's about. I guess that is the way for the fairy tell end though. Still 19 chapters of awesome, gonna have to sit and waffle on the rest for a bit.
HOLY CHRIST! FINALLY!
I effing love you AbsolutelyAnnon, you know that? I also hate you for making my heart explode with this chapter.
I want to be disappointed right now, I want to so much, I should be disappointed, but... I'm not. I can't be, what you have done here, what you have written, makes it impossible to feel anything but happiness. Right now, I don't think I can rightly explain just what I feel, maybe it's a mix of awe, relief that it's finally over, and anticipation for what is to come. Whatever they were, whatever mass of emotions passed through me during reading this, disappointment was not among them.
Sure, I would have liked to see Mare Do Well be somepony else, back then I would have liked it to be anypony else, but now, right now, I honestly wouldn't have it any other way.
Side note: The author's note in the beginning pretty much gave it away anyhow
AWW HELL YEAH. I CALLED THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Only Pinkie could pull that shit off. I mean, we all know that she has borderline personality disorder
as shown here. Have to be honest though...I kinda wish it was Fluttershy, even when that was disproven a few chapters ago.
OMC bucking Celestia Luna damn amaysing romance are you kidding me best chapter ending ever I love you Dashie Brohoof Annon EPIC Antifail don't ever stop writing you are a demigod :lunasmirk::lunasmile::lunalaugh:
Gods damn it, that doesn't make any sense D:
Ah well. I'll give Chapter 21 a shot, and even if I don't like the ending than the rest of this was amazing.
how did I guess it was Pinkie! I'm just about to be BRILLIANT!!
Please be Rarity please be Rarity please be Rarity Pl...
AAAWWWRR!
Regardless, this is an excellent chapter and story for so many reasons. The character development of Rainbow Dash was astonishing, the action scenes we well paced and fun to read, the hidden characteristics of Pinkie's personality were explored with some depth, everypony was pretty much in character, and - need I go on further?
Even though she got one tenth the attention Pinkie got, I felt Rarity had a shot since she has been shown to have martial arts fighting skills, a sophisticated vocabulary, and can create as many Mare Do Well costumes as she deems necessary. The explanation of why she would fall for Rainbow Dash could have added 5 or 6 nice 'n complex explanatory chapters.
Oh well, Pinkie makes more sense to be MDW, but we can all dream, can't we? My irrational hope for the identity of Mare Do Well to be Rarity had me going till the last line before the truth was revealed because both ponies have blue eyes!
AA, this story was a delight to read and I eagerly absorbed every chapter. You sir, get 5 stars. No doubt about it.
2:09 am - read the words "blue eyes..."
2:11 am - My dad is yelling at me for waking him up and what the hell was I yelling "FUCK YEAH!" for at the top of my lungs at 2:10 in the goddamned morning.
2:12 am - Don't even care because poetically beautiful chapter is poetic and beautiful.
Let me begin by saying firstly that I like this story and I was pleasantly surprised to find you'd updated recently. Thank you for putting in the effort to create quality fanfictions about ponies for all of us to read- said work is appreciated greatly.
I read along the whole time, finding holes in the logic as to why it just HAD to be Pinkie, and then... it was.
It's the ending I expected least (aside from MDW being Derpy/Fluttershy, not that I would have minded aside from it being very clearly untrue) and I hope (and suspect, accredited to your writerly prowess) that that isn't why you chose it. But, in the end, I guess it's not that big a deal.
It was a great ride and I'd like to thank you again for sharing it with us.
Hey nobody can blame Dash for shipping Daring with Ahuizotl, after all they are the only characters that appeared in the book. The funny thing is that there are now indeed stories about Dash writing Daring Do fanfics – and sometimes she even ships herself with Daring. So now even Dash ships Dash.
Looks like this story is about to come to an end. And what an amazing story it was. It’s one of my favorite shipping fics. MDW was such a great character. Sometimes she was so sad that I wanted to give her a big hug and one chapter later I thought she deserved a slap in the face because she was such a jerk.
Actually this whole story was like an emotional rollercoaster ride: In one scene you almost could feel the sexual tension between Dashie and MDW, in the next chapter I would almost cry because of a sad moment and then it leads to something absolutely hearting-melting like the scene in which they cuddle together.
I admit that I was a bit worried that the story would go on and go after chapter 18 because even the “solved” conflict with Pinkie seemed to start again and there was no big reveal. As good as this story is, everything has to end at some point. So I’m glad that there was a big final in Canterlot. It was nice to see RD doing the seducing and having MDW at her mercy for once.
I wish I could say “I knew it” after MDW was revealed to be Pinkie Pie but I thought she was just a red herring who always had a secret crush on Dashie and feared that MDW would win the heart of Dash. My prime suspect was nopony else than: Derpy.
If you are done with laughing I explain why I thought she was MDW.
She appeared in the story but only in two or three small scenes in which she delivers some stuff from MDW. She appeared but never didn’t anything important. So I felt she MUST be important and that she could be MDW because it would that kind of thing nobody expects. And then I started to search for clues.
First there was MDW speech about Dash not liking her real-self. It made perfect sense. Derpy is a clumsy pony nopony takes serious. Dash wouldn’t love her but she would love MDW. Secondly she’s the mail pony so it would be very easy to slip MDW’s letters and gifts into her mailbag, deliver them to RD and watch her reactions. Nobody would suspect clumsy Derpy. Finally there was this one scene in which RD wondered where Derpy was. I say this as a hint that Derpy was busy doing MDW stuff. So everything made sense and I was confident that I solved the mystery.
Then it turned out that MDW couldn’t be a Pegassi…
My new suspect was Rarity for obvious reasons (social connections, flowers, sense for romance…), so I guess I’m not good at guessing secret identities.
That said the solution was good and it made sense the way how Pinkie explained everything. Although, I admit that it could’ve been interesting if MDW and Pinkie were different ponies. How would Pinkie feel if one of her best friends steals her Dashie? How would said best friend feels about the whole Pinkie issue?
Anyway, I can’t wait for the final chapter of this great story. And if you are writing alternative endings there MUST be one in which MDW is Starscream. Just because.
HO
LY
SHIT
*eyetwitch*
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Remember when I said it was Pinkie back at, what was it, chapter 4, and everyone raged at me?
Yeah, those were the days.