Chapter 15: Upon Waking
Rainbow Dash running. Mare Do Well watching her go.
• • •
A lot of things happened the next day, and Rainbow Dash saw them as discrete fragments instead of parts of a continuous whole. Things came to her as disconnected snapshots – as muddled vignettes, interspersed with unwanted flashes of recollection, all of it regarding what had happened the night before.
But she shoved these memories aside, forcing them into the darkest recesses of her mind and instead focusing on the present, as Dash was naturally inclined to do.
Always the now. Never the before or the later.
If Rainbow Dash's thoughts ever began to stray, she'd find herself thinking about something she definitely didn't want to think about, like –
Two ponies, cuddled together on the ground, forelegs wrapped around each other.
And at that point, Rainbow would cut herself off, either with a sharp internal reproach or a smack of her own hoof against her temple in order to snap herself out of it.
There were plenty of other things to do, anyway, so keeping herself too busy to think wasn't actually that hard for Rainbow Dash.
The six of them were going to leave for Canterlot the next day, and preparations had to be made. Since Rainbow Dash couldn't actually reach her house at the moment, Fluttershy did her the kindness of offering to pack for her, and Rainbow accepted. Her wings were still bound, after all, and even though she was pretty sure that she was ready to have the bandages removed, they would've been too weak to fly right away.
While everypony else was busy finalizing their packing, Rainbow Dash was on the zip line, testing it out and pushing it to the limit in every way she knew how. It was strange, but the restriction of the line somehow seemed to simultaneously give her more and less freedom than if she were flying normally. Being on a line meant she couldn't control the way she flew down, meaning both that she didn't have to worry about movement, and also that she couldn't stop or change direction if she wanted to. It felt fantastic and terrifying all at once; just falling, having to trust that she wouldn't die without actually having any guarantee that it was true.
And she didn't think about how hilarious it would've been if somepony scared of heights had been there so that Dash could've forced her to go too. Not even once.
A pony jolting upright, suddenly awake and shoving the other away.
"No!" she screams. "No! Let go of me!"
The other pony is confused, and sits up, bleary-eyed.
"Huh?" she begins. "But you..."
"No!"
"Why did you push me away?" the pony asks, sounding feeble, even to her own ears. "You were holding me."
"I shouldn't have done that – !"
Around noon, Rainbow Dash made her way to her bush to take a nap, burrowing her way into the leaves and snow the way she was now accustomed to doing and ignoring the curious stares of the crowd. She didn't at all remember how it felt to be lying so close against somepony that you could feel their heartbeat, and the thought that she might have missed that kind of intimacy didn't cross her mind at any point.
And when Dash found her dreams haunted by a shadow, a shadow that drew closer and closer only to yank back and leave her breathless, she didn't think twice about it, because she knew that it didn't necessarily have to mean anything in particular after all. Sometimes dreams were only dreams, and nothing more.
Her nap wasn't especially restful that day. The bush left Rainbow Dash wanting for something. Something she couldn't put a name to.
When Derpy later shoved her gray head into the bush with an envelope addressed to Dash in her mouth, Rainbow took it with a grunt and waited for the mailmare to leave before tearing it open. There was no note; just the silver ticket from last night, which Rainbow Dash had somehow managed to completely forget about. Any excitement that she might have felt at getting to see the Wonderbolts live had waned.
Rainbow Dash would still go, of course. That wasn't the kind of opportunity one could just pass up. But it had dulled a little, maybe – overshadowed by the odd hollowness she now felt.
"I can't do this. I can't. I thought I could, but... why did I do that? You're just going to leave! I can't take that!"
"I'm, I'm not going to leave –"
"You say that now, but I know you! You're going to leave, you always do! You're going to run away, and then I'll be all alone again!"
That evening, they were all supposed to meet at Carousel Boutique in order to receive the surprise that Rarity had promised them. For once, Rainbow Dash was actually early; they were supposed to go once they'd finished packing, and since she didn't actually have any packing to do, there was nothing for her to procrastinate with. Rainbow couldn't really bring herself to care about whatever the surprise was supposed to be anymore, but she'd promised to be there, and she refused to let herself drift away so much that she'd let a friend down like that.
Gradually the others trailed in. First Fluttershy, then Pinkie Pie, both of them eager to be early – Fluttershy because Rarity was her best friend, and Pinkie because she probably suspected that the surprise would somehow be party related. Afterwards, Applejack and Twilight entered together, both of them perfectly on-the-dot punctual.
Rarity herself was the last to appear, busy doing something secretive in her back room while the rest of them clustered together outside the door to chat. Rainbow alone didn't join in the conversation, but nopony seemed to notice how listless she was acting – except for possibly Applejack, who gave her a funny look, but said nothing.
Pinkie's kiss had tasted of something indescribably sweet. In that vaguely sort of thoughtful way, Rainbow Dash wondered whether everypony tasted the same when they kissed, or whether each pony had a distinct flavor.
The only other time Rainbow had ever kissed anypony she wasn't just fooling around with had been that one night at flight camp. When she and Gilda hadn't been able to sleep, and Gilda had suggested messing around – just to try it out, she'd said. Just an experiment. An experiment that Dash now regretted, especially since the griffon had brought it up first thing when she'd later cornered Rainbow Dash to pressure her to chose between her and Rainbow's new friends in Ponyville.
Twilight was standing closest to her at the moment, and Dash briefly contemplated testing her theory about kisses when Rarity interrupted her train of thought by finally making her appearance.
"Now, girls!" Rarity announced grandly, sweeping into the room and causing the other five to look up in perfectly synchronized surprise. "Sorry to keep you all waiting; I just had a few more touch-ups to do, but it's finally absolutely, one hundred percent perfect! I'm so glad you were all able to make it. I simply cannot wait any longer, or I think I may burst!"
"Can you just get to the point, then?" Applejack interrupted curtly, earning an annoyed glance from the unicorn.
But Rarity only smiled sweetly, saying, "Of course, Applejack," before continuing, "Now, as you all know, our Twilight Sparkle has finally received our official invitations to the holiday party the palace is hosting, and –"
"She did?" Rainbow Dash interrupted, mind racing to remember if at any point in the past week or so the purple unicorn had given her anything remotely resembling an invitation to the palace.
Twilight magically whipped the six shining invitations out of nowhere, fanning them before Dash's eyes and causing the pegasus to flinch. "Right here," she said proudly.
"Uh, yeah, silly!" Pinkie Pie giggled. "Have you just been dozing all week? She got them yesterday, don't you remember?"
"Just go!" Mare Do Well shouted, and although the mask hid her face from the rest of the world, she still covered it with her hooves, like she couldn't handle seeing anypony right then. "Go! You're going to leave anyway, just go!"
"I'm not going to leave!" Rainbow Dash protested, and she didn't know why she felt so desperate to convince the mare. She had never wanted to stay with Mare Do Well before, but right then and there, nothing felt more important than her need to convince Mare Do Well that she wasn't going to abandon her.
"Why did I do this?" she wailed, ignoring Rainbow Dash entirely. "Why? This was wrong, this is all really bad! I don't want to!"
"Huh? Don't want to what?"
"You're going to leave!" Mare Do Well shouted, again ignoring Rainbow Dash. Her voice was cracking, coming dangerously close to slipping out of the voice she affected, but it never actually did. "Everypony does in the end! You'll leave and I'll be all alone, and if you actually come back later you'll just pretend that this never happened, that it didn't mean anything, and I'll have to play along like I don't care either, but I do! I can't just pretend this didn't matter, Rainbow Dash!"
This mattered, Rainbow Dash wanted to say. It mattered a lot. I don't want to leave.
The words were right there on the tip of her tongue, and it would've been so easy to speak them, but she didn't. She just couldn't. Although the reassurance was right there, primed to spill out of her, something was blocking her voice, and nothing came from her mouth but silence.
She'd spent the previous day hiding from everypony, and then...
"No. Guess I forgot," Rainbow Dash said quickly.
"You've been a real loopy-doopy pony lately, Dashie," Pinkie said sweetly, apparently oblivious to the way her words were cutting.
"Okay, okay, whatever!" Dash loudly interrupted. "Let's drop it already!"
"Yes, let's," Rarity primly agreed. "As I was saying, now that Twilight has our official invitations, I've decided that it's time for me to finally reveal the project that I've been working on in secret lately. Brace yourselves – !"
With a dramatic burst of magic, she threw open the door behind her.
Inside was a row of blank white mannequins arranged to display the beautiful, floor-sweeping ball gowns they were decked out in, and the crowd Rarity had assembled released a collective gasp.
Dresses, Rainbow Dash thought. I should've known.
The dresses Rarity had made them for the Grand Galloping Gala had been elaborate, luxurious displays of splendor and finery, but these pieces were more subdued, with softer shades and more humble, simplistic designs – better fitting the gracious solemnity that pervaded the Hearth's Warming season, despite the holiday's overall message of love and cheer.
Rainbow Dash wasn't a pony who knew a whole lot about dressmaking, and although she appreciated all the work that must've gone into making clothes like these in theory, in practice, it was hard for Dash to do much more than smile and look appreciative as she tried to remember everything the others had drilled into her about tact. Her friends, though, immediately took to cooing and fawning over their respective new dresses.
Rainbow didn't know any of the technical terms for the articles being passed under such careful inspection by their new owners, and could only observe the basics. For example, Twilight's dress was a gown of deep violet upon shades of even deeper violet, creating a strange layered effect. Rarity herself had an ensemble made of indigo and lined with silver, complete with a festive little mantle. Fluttershy had a dress of the softest rose, edged in white and trimmed with delicate little ribbons, further enhancing her already angelic appearance. Applejack's gown could in no way be mistaken for work duds, but was instead a simple, honest gown of deep forest green and pale gray. Pinkie had a deep scarlet and white affair; except for the ruffles, it was far calmer than the other formal gown she'd received from Rarity, but it was still undeniably Pinkie.
Rainbow Dash herself had a stormcloud of a gown. Her previous Rarity original had been an explosion of color. It had reportedly been based off the traditional garb of the ancient pegasi tribes, as depicted by classical mythology. This, though, was something new and brilliant, with blending shades of hard steel gray and teal and navy blue. Like an ocean, or a stormy sky at night.
"Wow, Dashie!" Pinkie said as Rainbow Dash stroked the fabric of the dress. "That dress is so pretty!"
"It's all right," Rainbow Dash said casually, not looking at Pinkie. "It could be cooler, though."
"What do you think of mine?"
Rainbow Dash looked at Pinkie, and her voice caught in her throat. She'd already changed into her dress.
"Wow," Dash finally managed to squeak. "You look great, Pinks."
Pinkie giggled and gave a little spin, sending her skirt twirling. "I can't wait!" the pink pony said happily. "Twilight said that the Princess said that Hearth's Warming parties at the palace aren't all fancy and hoity-toity like the Gala was, and since we didn't even get to go last time I was really worried since I didn't know what it would be like when we, you know? But I bet it'll be superiffic, and we'll go and dance and eat all the cake it'll be the bestest fun time ever!"
And then she skipped away, humming to herself.
In the past, Pinkie might've tried to force Dash into her dress, as well, to get the pegasus into the spirit of things, or maybe she would've grabbed Rainbow in a hug and rubbed their cheeks together and squealed about how they were going to have more fun than they'd ever had before ever and how it was going to be the best night ever, for real this time!
But she didn't do any of that for once. Instead, Pinkie Pie left Rainbow Dash alone, only stopping to chat under the pretense of being friendly when in reality she was growing more and more distant, pushing the pegasus even further away.
Liar, Dash thought bitterly. Pinkie had told her that they would go back to the way things were, but if things had really gone back to normal, then they wouldn't have been afraid to speak to each other. They wouldn't have been afraid to touch one another or be alone together. Pinkie would've hugged her. She would've lingered.
But Pinkie wasn't leaving now, either. Instead, Pinkie Pie was pushing Rainbow Dash away, making her be the one to decide it wasn't worth it and finally, in the end, give up.
And the worst part was, she was doing it so quietly. Pinkie wasn't lashing out with violent gestures or angry, hurt-filled words; she was lashing out by silently withdrawing those small affections that Rainbow Dash had grown to depend on and had never realized she needed until they were missing.
Rainbow drew a sharp breath, and let it out slowly.
"I love you," Mare Do Well said. "I love you and I don't want you to leave me. But you're going to run away, because that's what you do – that's what everypony does. So if you're going to leave, go now, while I can still keep myself together."
You don't look very together right now, Rainbow Dash wanted to retort. But her voice was still lost, and all she could do was rise unsteadily onto her legs.
When Rainbow Dash had woken up for the second time that morning, her vision had cleared only to find that she was tangled in Mare Do Well. A current had surged between them, through Rainbow Dash, tugging at her core; a pull so fierce that she hadn't wanted to fight it, had wanted to stay like that, bodies interlocked as their hearts had beat in time. Because Mare Do Well was close, so close, and although the air outside was cold, that wasn't what made Rainbow Dash tremble.
She hadn't wanted to go. She'd wanted to stay and throw herself at Mare Do Well, this insecure but affectionate and silly but tender mare, who probably had countless other facets to her personality that Rainbow Dash hadn't even begun to discover but desperately wanted to learn more about.
Maybe it had only been Rainbow's sleep-addled mind thinking such thoughts, thoughts that she'd likely regret once she was fully conscious, but all she could think was I don't love you, but maybe I can try, just for a little while.
But she hadn't said that, because Mare Do Well had told Dash to leave. What else could she have done but leave?
Rainbow Dash running. Mare Do Well watching her go.
Mare Do Well was in her, in her blood, invading every cell in her body. And Rainbow Dash didn't even know what the mare looked like, let alone her real name.
She was teetering on the brink of a precipice. One false step and she'd plunge into the abyss.
But Rainbow didn't care. About either of them. Pinkie Pie was crazy and so was Mare Do Well. Who knew why they did the things they did? Pinkie was random and Mare Do Well was unstable, so if they acted random and unstable, well, why had Rainbow Dash expected any different?
Mare Do Well... Mare Do Well was...
What was Mare Do Well?
She was so many things. She was funny – clever and sarcastic, if a little mean at times. She was lithe, her every movement imbued with a kind of grace that Rainbow Dash would never be able imitate, except maybe when among the clouds. She was both as strong as iron and impossibly fragile, unfazed by anything that the rest of the world could throw her way, yet easily broken by the slightest mistake. She was desperate and strange and helpless, and yet somehow had the power to completely disrupt Rainbow Dash's life in every way possible.
And Rainbow Dash didn't care, she had remind herself. About any of that. About them. About her.
"Rainbow Dash?" Applejack asked. "You okay?"
"Huh?" Rainbow asked, jerking her head upright. The farm pony's voice had been the trigger to yank her out of her stupor. She'd been practically asleep on her hooves, eyes closed as Dash meditated on her musings.
"Shucks, I can't blame you," Applejack chuckled, shaking her head. "They're all babblin' on an' on about those dresses. I almost feel like gettin' a bit o' shuteye myself – I can barely stay awake as it is."
"Heh. Yeah. Dresses. Boring."
"It's just all so pointless, y'know?" the farm pony continued, not seeming to notice the blatant disinterest in Rainbow's voice. "The dresses are nice an' all, an' I know Rare worked awful hard on 'em, but..." she trailed off.
"But what?" Rainbow Dash found herself asking.
"Well, it's just that... nothin's gonna change who I am, y'know? I'm a farmer from Ponyville, and even if I get dressed up all fancy and go to Canterlot and try an' pretend to be somepony else fer a night, I'll still be me on the inside. No matter what I do, I can't change who I really am, even if I try my darndest to hide it. So, what's the point?" Applejack sighed, then scowled. "It's all a game they're playin', a game you can't win, but I don't think Rare'll ever realize that. She's gonna try her darndest to do whatever it takes to fit into those li'l boxes they make – but she's bigger'n that, too big to fit, and she don't even know it. And the sad thing is, they'll never know it, neither, because they're all too busy tryin' to make everypony fit where they're supposed to fer them to ever see it."
Rainbow Dash was staring at her in rapt attention, eyes huge and free of any of the snark that they usually held when talking to Applejack, catching the earth pony off guard.
"Y'all right, sugarcube?" Applejack asked, a little nervously.
"Yeah," Rainbow Dash answered, her voice distant. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just... you were saying something that sounded important."
Rarity let them fondle their new dresses for a little while longer before sharply ordering them all out of the room so that she could put them into proper storage, refusing to let any of them even look at the gowns again until the night of the party itself.
"With the exception of maybe Twilight or Fluttershy, I doubt any of you could take proper care of them," the unicorn sniffed haughtily, and Rainbow Dash could offer no argument.
By the time the five friends finally left Carousel Boutique, it was sundown. On any other night Rainbow Dash might have been mentally preparing herself to go meet Mare Do Well, but tonight, whether the mare showed up or not, Rainbow had no desire to see her. Because she didn't care. Instead, she sought out Fluttershy.
"I don't wanna be all bandaged up in the play," Dash told the butter-yellow pegasus. "Can I crash at your place tonight and get them taken off?"
"Oh, I don't know," Fluttershy said nervously, eyeing the damaged wings. "It's hardly been long enough to –"
"They're fine!" Rainbow Dash interrupted. "They're great, I know they are, I always heal really quickly! All I gotta do is get them unwrapped and maybe stretch them for a bit and get back in the habit of flying, and then I'll be awesome! Please?"
"Well..."
"Please?"
Fluttershy frowned, squirming, and Rainbow Dash did her very, very best impersonation of Fluttershy's own Stare to try and compel her timid friend into agreeing. Finally Fluttershy squeaked a compliant squeak, prompting Rainbow Dash to cry out in delight and launch herself at her friend in a very Pinkie Pie-esque hug.
• • •
Back at Fluttershy's cottage, Fluttershy seemed to revert back into professional-business mode in contrast to her nervous, squeaking self of before, adamantly refusing to remove the bandages until she could properly examine Rainbow's wings and refusing to do that until they'd both had a good night's rest.
Fluttershy slept on the couch, using the power of her Stare to force Rainbow into bed against her will. It usually only truly worked on the animals in Fluttershy's care, but there was something so impressive about those huge aqua eyes that they truly were a force to be reckoned with, even amongst other ponies.
Fluttershy didn't sleep in her chicken coop, it turned out. Rather, she had a very nice, quaint little bedroom in the back of her cottage. From Fluttershy's bed, Rainbow Dash had a perfect view of the window, and by extension, of the Everfree Forest. Rainbow Dash had never understood how Fluttershy could live so close to Everfree when she was so frightened of everything in it, but knew better than to question her mostly meek and occasionally terrifying friend.
Rainbow Dash lay in bed and her thoughts flitted about like birds, quick both to flash through her mind and then to fly away, fleeting and practically insubstantial. At last she sighed, screwing her eyes shut and trying to force her brain to be quiet.
I need something to focus on, Dash finally thought. What could she think about that would take her mind off of other, less desirable topics?
Going to Canterlot. They were leaving tomorrow, but it didn't seem like they really were. The pageant just didn't feel important right then. It was the last thing on Rainbow's mind.
Seeing the Wonderbolts. But if she thought about that, then her mind would invariably drift to those aforementioned other, less desirable topics.
The holiday shindig at the palace. Rainbow Dash groaned. She wasn't like Applejack; she didn't openly despise formal occasions that involved dressing up. She was just... indifferent to them. They weren't fun, sure, but she didn't hate them, either – because she knew that someday, when she was famous, she'd probably have to go to a lot of them. It was good to get used to them young, so that Rainbow wasn't caught off guard by how stifling they could be later on.
The Grand Galloping Gala had been kind of awful. But Twilight said that Princess Celestia had promised that the Hearth's Warming thing they had every year was less stuffy – so even if Rainbow was bored out of her mind, then at least the others would probably have an okay time. That was good.
Dancing wasn't something Rainbow Dash especially enjoyed, so naturally, dances weren't something she especially enjoyed, either. But some ponies seemed to have a knack for it, for rhythm and music and movement. And if you knew somepony like that, then dancing would probably become fun. They would have to lead you through it, but if your partner was somepony who really knew what they were doing, then it would be easy to fake that you knew what you were doing, too. Maybe you didn't even necessarily have to have a partner who was good, though. Maybe you just needed to be dancing with the right partner.
Rainbow Dash pondered – again in that vague, nonspecific way – over how sometimes you could meet a pony whom you just seemed to fit with. Not in an emotional way or anything sappy like that, but literally. Physically. Your bodies just sort of interlocked, melding, like you were meant to hold each other, and it felt so, so good when you finally did.
If you knew a pony like that, dancing would probably become more enjoyable for both of you. Because dancing was pretty much just an excuse to hold somepony, and if you knew somepony you really fit with, then there would be none of that awkwardness or discomfort that came with forcing yourself on the wrong pony.
The clock in the corner was ticking, and Dash cast a glance at it. It was just past midnight, and the pegasus was wide awake, staring at the ceiling and gripping the blankets so hard that she was a little surprised they hadn't torn yet. A part of her wanted to go and wake up Fluttershy, but what would Fluttershy have to offer?
Comfort, Rainbow Dash thought. She's good at that.
She slipped out of bed.
Her hoofsteps seemed painfully loud in the silence of the cottage. Rainbow paused, forcing herself to be quiet. It was strange that Fluttershy's home could be so still when it was so full of living things – things that made noise and moved and rustled.
With a sigh, Rainbow Dash glanced out the window.
The forest looked especially ominous that night. The branches of the naked trees looked dark and skeletal, shadows dripping from them like cobwebs.
For a moment Rainbow Dash was still, eyes flickering as she searched the woods. What she was looking for, she didn't know. Or maybe she knew, but didn't want to acknowledge it.
Dash slumped, settling against the window sill as she looked out into the woods.
And then she saw it.
The rustling of tree branches, sending a shower of snow falling to the ground as they shook, trembling from the movement taking place amongst them.
It was either a bear, or – no.
There it was. A shape in black and violet, peering out from the woods towards the cottage. And maybe it was Rainbow Dash's imagination, but she could've sworn it waved when it saw her looking.
The pegasus wasted no time. Like a bolt of lightning she was gone, out of the house and galloping towards the edge of the forest, ignoring the terror that struck her heart as she drew closer to Everfree.
Rainbow Dash stopped, panting slightly for breath; running through such thick snow was difficult.
She'd paused at the base of a tree, for Mare Do Well had settled herself in at the top, perched on a branch as she glanced down at the pegasus.
"Hello," Mare Do Well said lightly.
"What are you doing?" Rainbow Dash blurted.
"Sitting in a tree."
"No, I mean, why did you come here? ...And why are you sitting in a tree if you're afraid of heights?" she added as an afterthought.
Mare Do Well didn't answer right away.
"I wanted to apologize," the mare said at last. "Because what I did was... uncalled for. I overreacted and became emotional and took it out on you. But since you're leaving tomorrow, I wanted to beg forgiveness now, so that I don't have to wait a week wondering where we stand."
Rainbow Dash blinked.
She hadn't thought that Mare Do Well would want to apologize. Dash hadn't even fully understood why she'd been so mad about what had happened, and the apology startled her. What was Mare Do Well apologizing for, exactly? For flipping out over contact that she had initiated? It wasn't like Rainbow Dash was going to hold a grudge over that.
"Don't apologize," Rainbow finally answered. "If, if you hadn't done that, I probably would have. So, I mean, one of us was going to freak out. So if it was you, then at least I got to keep my cool, right?"
No response.
Mare Do Well was still perched in the tree, very pointedly not looking at her, instead looking somewhere over Rainbow Dash's head. Her legs swung in that nervous way again.
"Why did you come here?" Rainbow Dash asked after another uneasy beat. "You've never actually gone out of your way to find me before. Except for when you're, um, being all superhero-y and saving ponies and stuff."
"I thought that since you know now for sure that I can't be Fluttershy, it would be safe for me to come see you at her house," Mare Do Well explained. "And like I said before. I wanted to say I'm sorry. For pushing you away. I shouldn't have yelled at you for leaving when the only reason you were doing so was because I was forcing you to. It was unreasonable."
"I told you, don't apologize."
Rainbow Dash licked her lips. Her mouth was very dry.
She hadn't really thought out what she was going to say, but ever since her conversation with Applejack in the boutique, she'd been thinking about something and needed to get it off her chest. It was worth a shot, after all, and it just might work, but only if she could find the proper wording.
"I don't want to put you in a box," Rainbow said carefully.
A moment of awkward silence passed between them as Rainbow Dash struggled to find the words she needed to say.
"I want... I know that there's a lot to who you are. And it's the same with my friends, and, and with everypony in Ponyville, probably. There's a lot I don't know about other ponies, and a lot I pretend I don't see, because it's easier to think of you all one way than it is to always be changing how I see you. And I know that you guys go along with it for the same reasons, and also probably because you do the same to me. So we all pretend to be things we're not, because it's easier than being completely open with each other."
Mare Do Well was staring directly at her then, and more than anything else, Rainbow Dash wanted to know what sort of expression was hidden under that mask: whether it was a smile, or a frown, or what. To give her some kind of clue as to whether or not she should continue, or if this was a terrible idea and Rainbow needed to shut up right then before she made a bigger foal of herself than she already had.
"Ponies are complicated, but most of the time I look at the world in a really narrow way, and I just ignore what I don't like or understand," Rainbow finally continued, albeit in a halting, nervous way. "And I think I understand why you did this, now. I mean, it's still crazy, and I'm still pretty sure that I could get you arrested if I felt like it, but... I think I get it. Sort of. You didn't want to have to try and fit into that box I put you in. You mentioned boxes before, but I didn't really listen to you then. You wanted to be what you really are and find out if I liked you anyway, even if it was unfamiliar and kind of scary for me to learn that one of my friends could be so different. That's why you used the disguise. Because if I knew who you were, then I'd just... I'd start thinking of you like that, and then all the restrictions would come back and you'd have to go back into that box, or else everything would get messed up."
"Very smart," Mare Do Well said smoothly. "Did you figure that out all on your own, or did you have help?"
Rainbow Dash could either give in to the flare of anger rising up within her chest, or she could take the high road and ignore the jibe. Or she could grin and say, "I had help. I'm not smart enough to think of something that good on my own."
There was another silence.
"Well, congratulations," the mare said at last. "You must feel quite clever now, and that was a very pretty speech, too. Your eloquence was somewhat lacking, since you seem given to stuttering and stumbling over your words. But perhaps that was done intentionally, to add to the realism. Overall, it was very nice. But it won't work."
"Huh?"
"I'm not trying to teach you any sort of grand lesson here," Mare Do Well said calmly. "I've been very open about what I've wanted, right from the very beginning. I love you. I would like you to love me. As myself, I didn't feel safe confessing, so I became somepony else so that I'd be free to behave how I wished. There's nothing deeper to my actions than that."
Rainbow Dash blinked, and her eyes narrowed as she took a step forward, approaching the base of the tree. Maybe it was her imagination, but she thought she saw Mare Do Well shrink back a little when she did, and it occurred to Dash that maybe she was sitting in the tree so that Rainbow Dash couldn't get too close. To maintain a safe distance between the two of them.
"Liar," Rainbow spat. Short and simple and brittle. Mare Do Well flinched.
"I see what you're doing," Mare Do Well continued, ignoring Dash's accusation. "You're trying to invoke the endgame, here. You think that if you impress me by making some elaborate speech about all that you've learned from our game, then I'll no longer see any need to play and I'll call it off, and then everypony will live happily ever after. I must congratulate you on the subtle direction of your latest move; rather than trying to find out who I am by removing the mask by force, you're trying to compel me to do so myself. Very sneaky. But I was never intending to teach you anything, so I don't actually care about what you've learned. And besides, I find the game fun. I'm not going to give it up. I want to win."
"But we have to care about all that! Because the way we're going, neither of us are going to win!" Rainbow Dash interrupted.
Mare Do Well cocked her head.
"Continue," she prompted.
"I'm never going to know who you actually are if I can't look past what I think you are, and you're never going to get me to like you if you can't drop the act and show me who you actually are. Neither of us can win unless we let go of all those ideas we have about ourselves and each other."
"Is that so?" Mare Do Well asked mildly.
She didn't say anything further, but instead chose that moment to lightly drop down from her perch atop the tree, landing with a soft thump in the snow before Rainbow Dash and leading the pegasus to assume that the mare had heard what she'd said. And whether she'd fully understood her own words or not, Rainbow Dash couldn't help but feel the corners of her mouth turn up in a grin; a tiny display of triumph.
"I suppose this is goodbye for now," Mare Do Well said softly, almost mournfully.
Mare Do Well was standing perhaps two or three feet away from Rainbow, but even that distance wasn't enough to make Rainbow Dash forget that pull, that urge, the desire to draw closer to the mare and slip into place against her. The place that Dash had somehow fit into so well when they'd fallen asleep together.
"You look lovely in your dress. It's too bad," Mare Do Well continued with a sigh. "In an ideal world, I'd be able to tell you so in the open and maybe even dance with you at the party. But I doubt you'd ever let me close enough to ask."
You don't know that, Rainbow Dash almost said before catching herself. Instead, Dash said, "You are going to be there. Right?"
"Well, yes, I'll be there. But I won't be there. Mare Do Well won't be. And if I'm not hiding behind my mask, I'll be too afraid to act on my impulses, so likely I'll just be hiding in a corner, admiring you from afar."
"Impulses?" Rainbow Dash repeated, ignoring the compliment Mare Do Well had snuck in. Dash may have been the kind of pony who loved getting her ego stroked, but every time Mare Do Well managed to slip in a bit of flattery into her speech, she wanted to curl up in a ball and hide in a corner until the heat in her cheeks died down. "How is any of this just an impulse? You mean the whole costumed stalker thing was just a random, spur of the moment idea?"
"That wasn't an impulse," Mare Do Well corrected. "That was a carefully devised plan. By impulse, I mean the sort of impulse that drives me to do this."
Mare Do Well knelt slightly, and took one of Rainbow Dash's hooves in her own, bringing it to her mouth. The cloth of her mask covered her lips, barring any true contact and keeping it from being a genuine kiss, but from the way she pressed the hoof against the place where her mouth would've been, the intention of the gesture was clear.
"See?" she said lightly. "I'm out of control."
There were no words, just open-mouthed shock and that electric current that was coursing through Rainbow Dash's body, tingling, causing her fur to stand on end. She yanked her hoof back.
"Freak!" Dash barked. "You're lucky I don't... that I don't..."
"Don't what?"
"Get out!" Rainbow Dash exploded. "I mean, I mean, we're already outside, but... but get lost! Go away! Not seeing you for a week'll be good! It'll be perfect! Just go!"
Mare Do Well gave a little bow.
"I hope you have a Happy Hearth's Warming," she said graciously.
Rainbow Dash didn't stick around to watch her slip away the way she always did. Instead she ran, leaving once more, but this time of her own desire to get out of there. Heart thumping against her chest, shattering her ribcage into a thousand million pieces and scaring her more than anything else she'd ever felt before in her life.
Back in Fluttershy's cottage, Rainbow Dash was expecting to quietly slip back inside, but instead entered to find the lights on and Fluttershy waiting up for her.
She didn't look upset. Not angry, not hurt, not betrayed or any of those feelings that would've been so wrong for her but that Rainbow Dash had grown to expect from everypony she met nowadays.
"Are you all right?" Fluttershy asked with concern.
"Yeah," Rainbow Dash lied. "I'm fine."
Fluttershy frowned slightly, and then her mouth curved into a smile.
"I believe you," she said sweetly. "Because if anything was wrong, I know you'd tell me."
"Y-yeah."
"After all, we've been friends all of our lives."
"Yeah."
"And if something was really bothering you, something really big and scary and important, you'd tell me, because you know that I'd do almost anything to help you fix it."
Rainbow Dash nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I would."
Fluttershy gave her a very pointed look before rising on all fours.
"It's very late," she said gravely. "I think we should go to sleep. We have to get up early in the morning, after all."
"That's a good idea," Rainbow Dash said weakly.
Another meaningful look, and Fluttershy turned and began to lead the way to her bedroom. She held open the door for Rainbow Dash, giving her a small, encouraging smile.
And then Rainbow Dash broke. She collapsed against her friend, sobbing.
To her credit, Fluttershy didn't give a knowing smirk the way Twilight or Applejack might have if Rainbow Dash had fallen apart in front of them. Instead, Fluttershy gently hugged Rainbow Dash, letting her cry into her chest, stroking her mane tenderly and whispering to her softly, the way she might have whispered reassurances to one of her injured animals. And Rainbow Dash let her, let Fluttershy protect her from something she didn't understand why she needed protection from, long into the night.
And the whole time, all Rainbow Dash could think was how although Fluttershy's embrace offered comfort and warmth, it wasn't the same.
• • •
Mare Do Well stared at herself in the mirror.
She had gone home and removed the costume, and still she felt like Mare Do Well. Not herself. A stranger in the mirror.
Raising a hoof, she touched her face.
Rainbow Dash was brilliant. She had come to this strange and powerful conclusion that had never even once crossed Mare Do Well's mind. At least, she didn't think so. But it made sense.
Who was she, anyway? What was her real self?
She wanted to be real for Rainbow Dash. She wanted to be normal. She wanted to do at least that much for the pegasus, but she didn't even know where to begin.
They were both so alike, she reflected. When confronted with emotions they didn't want, either because they just didn't like them or found them too confusing, they turned it into anger. The difference was, Rainbow Dash lashed out, growing violent and argumentative; Mare Do Well became bitter and snide, making sarcastic jabs and pointed insults that she never intended to wield as the weapons they were. She became mean, although she never wanted to be.
At first she'd been terrified that she'd gone about it all wrong, that Rainbow Dash hated her after all and was never going to change her mind. Then they'd woken up together that morning, and Rainbow Dash had been clinging to her as well.
Mare Do Well had been flustered, utterly bewildered by the idea that maybe Rainbow Dash actually wanted her to stay, because it was so far from her idea of the pegasus, but then, after spending a day contemplating it, she'd started to realize that maybe Rainbow Dash was more like her than she'd thought, and the hostility was because she was confused, too.
The kiss – or as close to a kiss as it could be with a mask – had been like an experiment; an experiment to test that theory. And sure enough, Dash had reacted with anger, even though Mare Do Well had seen in her eyes, in the blush on her cheeks and in the strange, goofy smile twitching on her mouth, that Rainbow Dash hadn't actually minded.
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Oh God oh man. I like where this is going. I swear if I'm right I'm going to go critical.
And hooray, I'm not a guest anymore!
Now, as you all know, Twilight has finally received out official invitations to the holiday party the palace is hosting, and - " Isn't it supposed to be our instead of out?
Fluttershy frowned, and Fluttershy squirmed, - Rainbow dash frowned?
Great read as always, looking forward to more.
<3
Epic!
Hmmmmm.....my bets further on Twilight............................................................I DUNNO DX
Alright, here's what I would do.
Each night, I would get one of my friends to come with me to visit Mare Do Well. Anypony that refused would immediately become more suspect, and anypony that did come with me would be, very obviously, crossed off my list.
Problem solved.
Really nice chapter. More emotional Mare Do Well, and some more philosophical Dashie. These confrontations just keep getting better.
Again, this chapter started to hint at Pinkie Pie being MDW a lot more, but you still can't be sure.
OMG MOAR NOA!!!!!
Any mistakes are of course the results of me rushing to get out the new chapter before going to work and will be promptly corrected as soon as I get home, so just LET IT GO ALREADY. (Runs away sobbing)
Great chapter, nothing but good things to say about this chapter
It is so difficult to draw conclusions when everything that might be a possible glimmer of truth can still be contributed to the whole Mare-Do-Well persona. It's really quite the masterful situation you've set up here; you could almost directly tell us who it is (if not in quite so many words) and we still wouldn't be able to say for certain, because it could still just be a part of the mask. And since the mask presumably represents a part of MDW's real identity that we (or at least Rainbow Dash) are as yet unaware of or at least unaccustomed to seeing, it all just devolves into wild mass guessing.
That said, I think I'm now almost 100% certain that it's not Applejack (not that she was really a major contender to begin with, since she outright said she wasn't MDW), and we obviously know it isn't Fluttershy. Pinkie Pie's crazy, but I really don't think she'd hate HERSELF for trying to be with Dash, so she's almost certainly out... Beyond that, I make no further guesses at the moment.
This chapter gave me goosebumps. It was - again - beautifully written. Rainbows breakdown at the end... argh, I can't find the right words
I still have no idea who's MDW, but I'm really hoping the upcoming Hearts Warming Eve party will turn out as the grand finale (at least it seems to be shaping out to be) and then we'll know (and hopefully get a super sappy happy end :D). The excitement is killing me.
Keep up the great work!
Am I the only one here who hates Mare Do Well? She says she loves Dash, and she does all these things to try and seduce her, but in reality, she's making life for RD miserable. We can see that this all is emotionally hurting Dash, who's actually breaking down crying - Rainbow Dash, doing that mind you - in front of her friend. And she's toying with her, playing these mind games because she's too much of a coward and too emotionally unstable to confront her as herself. That's why I really don't want Rainbow Dash to fall in love with MDW, because of the topsy-turvy kind of way which she's going about this is far too emotionally damaging to be genuinely romantic. It all just seems like a kind of manipulation to me, but they both probably don't realise it is manipulation.
Quite frankly, the only ones who are capable of doing these things as Mare Do Well are only the really emotionally unstable friends of hers. Rarity is fine; just, y'know, melodramatic and prissy to be like Mare Do Well. Twilight only really has concerns about friendship and her mentor. If she would think that dressing up as Mare Do Well to seduce RD would risk jeopardising their friendship even a tiny bit, then she wouldn't do it. AJ is too steadfast and emotionally stable to be capable of this. That leaves Pinkie Pie, who we know to be very emotionally unstable, even kind of mentally ill, and she has clearly shown herself to be in love with Dash. She failed at confessing to Dash as herself, so she keeps trying to stick at it as Mare Do Well. Pinkie probably doesn't recognise how much she's hurting Dash doing all this, or she rationalises it away thinking that it'll all work out in the end.
But anyway, it's a good story. Even if I'm driven to hate Mare Do Well here. 5/5.
If I was Rainbow, i would have torn off the mask and started making out with Mare Do Well. That way they both win, even if Rainbow Dash cheated a little.
I would be flattered but at the same time really creeped out. I mean it would be nice having somepony go through all that just to get my attention but them stalking me would give me the constant feeling that she's right behind me. You know what i mean?
great chapter!
can't wait for more!
Blimey, wasn't expecting such an overreaction from Rainbow around the end there. Interesting nonetheless though.
As for the discussion topic in the author's notes, if I were Rainbow I'd at first be both really flattered and confused; however, upon finding out that MDW is one of my best friends... I don't actually know what I'd think. I'd be bloody surprised probably, but I don't know how I'd feel about it.
To be honest if I was Rainbow Dash I would have somehow just pulled off MDW's mask when she wasn't expecting it, but that's why I'm not an interesting character.
lulz.ro/pics/1260574542518.jpg
I second this motion ^
I mean, this was the best chapter so far. You've shown an excellent glimpse into the world Rainbow lives in now, one of fear and drifting off from her friends. I thought you were going to end it right there, but then Mare-do-Well just came out and said that wasn't going to happen. You are doing an excellent job. I am going to go critical if you don't update, or finish it, soon. Please. I'm begging you
This chapter played with my head a bit, particularly in terms of Applejack. When AJ started talking to Rainbow about games and false personas and fitting people into mental boxes, it was so out-of-the-blue and yet uncannily on-target with Rainbow's situation that I was sure AJ had snapped under pressure and was effectively giving away that she was MDW.
Then later that was totally turned around, after RD repeats the same theory to MDW, and we (the readers) find out that it hadn't occurred to MDW at all. Therefore, MDW can't be AJ.
From my viewpoint, the whodunnit phase of this story is over, by process of elimination: It can't be AJ, for reasons just stated. It can't be Fluttershy because of her wings. It can't be Twilight unless she's using magical clones, which hasn't been hinted at in any way. It doesn't make sense for it to be Pinkie unless she truly has multiple personality disorder, and I don't really want to go there. That leaves me with. . .
zobeid.zapto.org/image/rarity_mdw.jpg
Then tension is KILLING ME! Please say we are nearing the end? I don't really want it to end, but if things don't happen soon I'm afraid Dash and Mare Do Well may Explode! Twice!
Yeah, I'm thinking the Hearth's Warming ball will end up being the grand finale, here. I've thought stuff like that before, of course, but I really can't see MDW keeping this up for much longer, now that Dash has stopped caring about 'winning'. Um...that's all I got for now, I guess. The last two chapters have been great as always, but I can't come up with a lot to say about them off the top of my head.
Also, congrats on the video tribute. If any story deserves one, it's this. I haven't actually watched it yet...guess I'll do that now.
EDIT: Zobeid had a really good observation that I completely missed: Applejack is eliminated! She was never really a suspect anyway, but...yeah. Another one bites the dust.
I'm thinking it's Twi more than ever now, I'll admit it. The last segment seems to speak strongly to Twi's reactions to people acting "wrong" - she gets sarcastic, she gets arrogant, she uses her words as weapons.
Rarity gets hoity, but not really sarcastic. Pinkie would have *had* to think about the whole "box" question before, from what we've seen, and Applejack's the one who thought about it herself, so it would be ridiculous if she'd been bombshelled by it coming out of Rainbow's mouth.
The bits are on Twilight then - appearing at the same time or not.
It never ceases to impress me how well-written this story is. Keep up the good work! :3
Re: The question of how I'd feel if I was receiving attention like that MDW is bestowing upon RD ... I'd be seriously freaked out, and I'd probably go to the cops. And if a friend of mine mentioned receiving that kind of attention, I'd tell that friend to be very wary and suggest going to the cops.
I think the Persistent Lovestruck Pseudo-Stalker works in romantic fiction, because it's a familiar archetype, but it's important to remember that stalking isn't romantic at all in real life. In real life, it's about dangerous and mentally unhealthy obsession, not love. But that's not a criticism of the story, because y'know, fiction. It helps that we the readers know that MDW means RD no actual harm and does feel genuine love and affection for the pegasus.
On the the review!
I love how you structured the flashbacks to the morning where MDW and RD wake up in one another's embrace. Having it be broken up into sections really added to its emotional impact, I felt. And the reveal, the reversal of expectations, it being MDW pushing away RD for once, was masterful. (And heart-breaking. But everything in this story is heart-breaking, just about.) And it feels like yet another important turning point in the MDW/RD relationship ... though we seem to be getting at least one of those every chapter now.
More things I liked ...
"And the worst part was, she was doing it so quietly. Pinkie wasn't lashing out with violent gestures or angry, hurt-filled words; she was lashing out by silently withdrawing those small affections that Dash had grown to depend on, and had never realized she needed until they were missing."
This both makes me feel terribly sorry for RD as well as makes me roll my eyes at RD. Like ... I'm sure Pinkie did mean to keep up their friendship on its previous terms, but expecting her to be as physically affectionate after being shot down is expecting rather too much. Pinkie's hurting too, Rainbow.
"It's all a game they're playin', a game you can't win, but I don't think Rare'll ever realize that. She's gonna try her darndest to do whatever it takes to fit into those li'l boxes they make - but she's bigger'n that, too big to fit, and she don't even know it. And the sad thing is, they'll never know it, neither, because they're all too busy tryin' to make everypony fit where they're supposed to fer them to ever see it."
Applejack the Wise! I like it. In particular, I like her take on Rarity: "she's ... too big to fit, and she don't even know it." That's such a lovely thing for AJ to say about Rarity and, what's more, even though I'd never thought of that before, it struck me immediately as being true. Rarity IS limiting herself, in a strange sort of way, isn't she?
The end of the chapter MDW and RD conversation. Such a wonderful reversal. RD being all calm and reasonable, with MDW being nasty and irrational. And Rainbow was freakin' brilliant--she's absolutely right that neither of them can win, except on a superficial level. It was so utterly brilliant and right-on, that I wonder a bit if it was TOO utterly brilliant and right-on. Though she's been coming along very nicely the entire story, it does seem she took a giant leap in self-knowledge and understanding in this chapter--but perhaps the night spent in MDW's embrace plus AJ's little nugget of wisdom were enough to push her over the edge. I dunno.
Last but not least ...
Fluttershy frowned slightly, and then her mouth curved into a smile.
"I believe you," she said sweetly. "Because if anything was wrong, I know you'd tell me."
Fluttershy is amazing in this chapter. She's perfect, and I love and admire her intensely here. (My new head-canon, thanks to this chapter, is that Fluttershy is totally the mom of the Mane 6.) Fluttershy Guilt Trip is best guilt trip! Seriously, what she did was masterful, and I am in awe of her.
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motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/small/0809/i-agree-i-agree-demotivational-poster-1221155433.jpg
It's Trixie btw
tumblr.com/photo/1280/9719860197/1/tumblr_lqx0b46GY71r27j59
Pinkie Pie just tied with Rarity for first in my opinion. Why? Two reasons.
1) Impulses.
2) Both Pinkie AND Mare Do Well are avoiding physical contact with Dash.
Behaviorally, it fits with PInkie Pie far better than it would Rarity. But the only thing that's really bugging me is that VIP ticket. That's the one thing that doesn't make any sense with regards to Pinkie. The only explanation I can come up with for that is that either Twilight or Rarity is helping her.
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That made me laugh way more than it should have.
With all this discussion on who MDW is... I feel I need to add in a reminder.
MDW is NOT SPIKE.
First off, I can't really go watch that tribute thingy. For one, it would make me jealous. For two, I use dial-up and it usually prevents me from downloading and watching things, thanks to the stupid low speed. So, I'm afraid I can't do that. Now, onto your second part of trying to make a social circle with your peers and asking the question of what we'd do if we were Rainbow Dash. I'll give you my full thoughts on that:
I would personally enjoy it. To know that someone was interested in me would be a beautiful and fun thing, as long as my admirer wasn't acting like Annie Wilkes and I was her Paul Sheldon. I'm a good judge of character, so I can tell what someone's intentions are rather easily. If I wasn't actually being assaulted or tied up or threatened or anything, I would love the attention. What's wrong with being nuzzled, hugged, playfully teased, playfully tackled, sexually seduced, and taunted? I've never had ANYONE interested in me, so just the thought would be awesome. Since I love to be a tease (as I'm sure you all know by now) and I love to play games, I would probably just pretend that I didn't really like it, but honestly just go along with it and have fun. Showing that I love it would be too easy; there'd just be no game in it, you know? And just going to the police and being all paranoid would be lame; are you seriously such a jerk that you can't live a little? Seriously, are you too stupid to know who's a killer and who's not? Well, I'm not; I'm a good judge of character. So, I'd play along and have a lot of fun with it, but...yeah, I'd naturally be cautious, just to be sure. But, overall, I'd like it. I don't know the feeling of being loved anyway, so it would be interesting.
The chapter was...interesting. I don't really see how it's your best like some are saying, since I personally didn't pull that much out of it. But, overall, not bad. Always cute, always deep, always passionate, always showing just how much you care what you write. And you actually called Derpy by her real name for once, so I'm very proud of you for that. You're a good boy, my dear CAD.
1. Twilight - I still think she's Mare Do Well. I disagree with some of the posters who say that she's eliminated because of showing up at the same time as Mare Do Well. That can easily be explained; this is TWILIGHT we're talking about. I'm sure there was SOMETHING she did to make that happen, magic or not magic. To me, Mare Do Well really, REALLY reflects Twilight Sparkle. Let's go over the facts. First, we KNOW she's a coward (she trembled and ran when Applejack yelled at her in "Winter Wrap-Up", she ran from Trixie for really no reason, etc). Second, she can use magic (this explains how "fast" she can move, how she can appear in places so quickly, how she can appear in a tree or on a roof without breaking a sweat, and how she could make a mirror reflection of her Mare Do Well self to fool Rainbow Dash during that party). Third, she's got connections with almost anypony in Equestria (this would explain how she got the VIP pass). Fourth, she's incredibly smart and knows how to lay out a game plan (sending Spike away to Canterlot, having Spike pick up the Mare Do Well costume, knowing precisely how Rainbow Dash will act and what she'll do to certain actions, etc). Fifth, it would make most sense for her to love Rainbow Dash over the others (opposites attract, the nerd falling for the jock, the fact how Dash and Twilight "complete" each other and balance out the other pony's flaws, etc). Sixth, she's afraid of heights (the Hydra incident, among others). So, yeah, Mare Do Well is Twilight Sparkle.
2. Rarity - She's so similar to Twilight that it's so hard to make a case for either one over the other. We know she can be sarcastic (like when she was teasing Applejack in "Look Before You Sleep" about basically EVERYTHING), we know she speaks in a highly-sophisticated voice, we know she has connections in Canterlot, and we know she's a sexual flirt. But, why I pick Twilight over her is for many reasons. Rarity isn't cowardly; she's the opposite. It wouldn't make sense for her to like Dash; the other four ponies make sense, but she...just doesn't. I don't want to hear ANY of you say otherwise. How in the WORLD does a Prima Donna, stuck-up snob fall in love with a jock? It does not add up, nor does it make any logical sense. While Rarity is still a strong, strong possibility, I'd be confused as hell if it ends up being her. Sure, love is love, and a story is a story, but there hasn't really been enough here that leads me to think Rarity has feelings for Rainbow Dash. Personally, I would think Rarity has feelings for Applejack over Dash (and I love that pairing, too). It just doesn't make sense to me.
3. Pinkie - Dammit, I just want to eliminate this brat once and for all, but every time I want to do that, some fool on here says something that makes me inclined to put her back on the list of possible suspects. I honestly don't see anything in the story that changes my mind, so I guess it's just the peer pressure of reading the other comments on here that makes me confused. How some people can still see Mare Do Well as Pinkie is beyond me. Let me go over this, one more time, on why Pinkie is not Mare Do Well. First, she was trapped in Sugarcube Corner during the storm and couldn't get out; if Twilight "can't" use magic to make clones, then Pinkie can't use her earth pony magic to just pop up everywhere without a reason. Second, all of Mare Do Well's mannerisms are completely opposite Pinkie's. Third, the writer would ruin the story if it turns out Dash was just dealing with Pinkie the ENTIRE TIME; it would ruin the plot, since seeing a love triangle works much, much better. Fourth, Pinkie isn't afraid of heights. Fifth, Pinkie isn't a coward; she is so far from being a coward that it isn't even funny. Sixth, she can't just reach into hammerspace and pull out a VIP pass; sure, she COULD, but the author isn't an idiot. I could do many more, but I think that's all that needs to be said. Mare Do Well is not Pinkie Pie.
4. Applejack - Uh...how exactly is she eliminated? I don't really see anything in her "speech", or Mare Do Well's reaction to Dash's poorly-constructed-and-very-similar speech, to validate fully eliminating Applejack. Maybe I'm just not seeing something that you all are, but...I just didn't see it. Not that it matters, though. Applejack is no coward, nor is she scared of anything (except Zecora, at first). It would be illogical, confusing, weird, stupid, and downright idiotic if Mare Do Well was her.
5. Fluttershy - Mare Do Well has no wings. Sorry, Jailbot, but Fluttershy did not cut off her wings just to be Mare Do Well. Sorry, Fluttershy; better luck next story.
Other Possible Suspects: Rainbow Dash, All Mane Six
MY PERCENTAGE OF EACH SUSPECT BEING MARE DO WELL (from a 1-100 scale):
Twilight Sparkle: 80% confident that she can be Mare Do Well
Rarity: 65% confident that she can be Mare Do Well
Pinkie: 10% confident that she can be Mare Do Well
Applejack: 5% confident that she can be Mare Do Well
Rainbow Dash: 5% confident that she can be Mare Do Well
Fluttershy: 0% confident that she can be Mare Do Well
Enjoy the text wall, CAD. Hope you're doing well up there in Canada. Oh, and you suck; curse your damn Ottawa Senators for beating my Philadelphia Flyers tonight. You will suffer dearly, even if you hate sports and have absolutely no idea what the hell I'm talking about. Good luck with the few final chapters, whether there may be three, five, or even ten more. We all love you...platonically!
tobiasmastgrave.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/necromancy.jpg
Nothing like good old Necromancy 2 know who you are dealing with (I am not joking).
And if that fails there is still many spells & potions available 2 make real ppl obey you (in this case MDW).
fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2011/322/2/2/rarity_on_sofa_by_sergille-d4gjuf0.png
What?! yes is a true story u can freak out now.
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"First, she was trapped in Sugarcube Corner during the storm and couldn't get out; if Twilight "can't" use magic to make clones, then Pinkie can't use her earth pony magic to just pop up everywhere without a reason."
Uh, she could've gotten out the exact same way Dash did. Dash doesn't have her wings right now. If a wingless Dash could get out of Sugarcube Corner, then Pinkie Pie definitely could have.
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Twilight? Really? You make a surprisingly strong case, and I may have been too quick to rule her out -- but, darn it, I still have a hard time swallowing this.
For the sake of this discussion, let's set aside the whole question of whether she could have somehow magicked that interruption of RD and MDW's meeting. I'm certain she could pull off something like that if she was sufficiently motivated. (And I could see her being motivated if RD was already acting suspicious of her and needed to be thrown off the trail -- though that doesn't seem to have been the case here, as far as I could tell.)
Twilight has barely even had a presence in the story. It's hard to evaluate her interactions with RD because there hasn't been all that much. What really gets me, though, is how it just doesn't seem to work with her personality. She's very intelligent and capable, yes, but she's neither an actress nor a schemer. I have a hard time with Twilight being devious enough to begin this game. Also, both the romantic moments and the action and fighting incidents that MDW orchestrated don't seem like they would come easily to Twilight.
But then, maybe I'm just trying to put her in a box.
I honestly think that Mare Do Well could be some random background pony. These nothing saying that Mare Do Well is one of the mane six, or at least, I think there isn't. And writing the comment just made me realized that I've been spelling the word 'background' as 'backround' in my head my whole entire life, which is proof that I read too quickly.
Back at Fluttershy's cottage, Fluttershy seemed to revert back to professional-business mood, in contrast to her nervous, squeaking self from before, adamantly refusing to remove the bandages until she could properly examine Rainbow's wings, and refusing to do that until they'd both had a good night's rest. Fluttershy slept on the couch, using the power of her Stare to force Rainbow to use the bed against her will. It usually only truly worked on the animals in her care, but there was something so impressive about those huge aqua eyes that it could truly e a force to reckon with, even amongst other ponies.
In the last sentence you're missing the 'b' in 'be'.
Story's great! Not much of a critique myself, and I'm not going to put too much thought into who Mare Do Well is, because whomever she is, I know you'll portray it perfectly.
I did have another thought about Twilight that hadn't occurred to me earlier...
The reason that MDW put on the costume and started this game is because she was afraid a direct approach might damage her friendship with RD, right? That line of thinking could apply to any of the mane six -- but with Twilight it would go to a whole different level. Twilight must be acutely aware that she is the linchpin of the Elements of Harmony, which depends on her friendship with the other element bearers. Losing one of those friends would be more than a personal loss; it would also mean potentially letting down Celestia, which is the one thing Twilight is truly terrified of. I don't think she'd risk it, no matter what kind of crush she developed on Rainbow. And if she did go through with this game, she'd be a nervous wreck over it, which we haven't seen any hint of.
Well, I wanted to point out:
"Fluttershy frowned, and Fluttershy squirmed,"
bit of repetition there.
I'm glad to see you're working towards wrapping it up, it felt like for a while there that you were going to drag things out forever. I would like to see Dash somehow figure out a clue that reveals who mare do well is in canterlot. Then she confronts them about it, and they wind up dancing while they are there.
But I can still see so many directions this story could go in...
Alright. I'm going to level with you. If you make me go through all of this, every time you update, and end it with one of those awful, pseudu-artsy "I'll just leave it up to the reader's imagination because I'm too lazy to actually decide on an ending" endings, I'm going to kill you. I will find you and go full Misery on your ass.
Glad I got that off my chest.
On a related note, how is it that you manage to make me want to shout at my computer every time you update?
I want it to end. But at the same time, I can't bear for it to be over.
And because I want to grab the 600th comment, I thought I'd share the song that IMMEDIATELY popped into my head while reading the chapter: http://youtu.be/5EGx4_WSMSE.
"Come To My Window"
Melissa Etheridge
I would dial the numbers just to listen to your breath
I would stand inside my hell and hold the hand of death
You don’t know how far I’d go to ease this precious ache
You don’t know how much I’d give or how much I can take
Just to reach you
Just to reach you
Just to reach you
Come to my window, crawl inside,
Wait by the light of the moon
Come to my window
I’ll be home soon
Keeping my eyes open, I cannot afford to sleep
Giving away promises I know that I can’t keep
Nothing fills the blackness that has seeped into my chest
I need you in my blood, I am forsaking all the rest
Just to reach you
Just to reach you
Just to reach you
Come to my window, crawl inside,
Wait by the light of the moon
Come to my window
I’ll be home soon
I don’t care what they think
I don’t care what they say
What do they know
About this love anyway?
Come to my window, crawl inside,
Wait by the light of the moon
Come to my window
I’ll be home soon.
I think everything I could possibly say here has already been said, so I'm going to leave you with this:
"The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want." ~Ben Stein
I'll be waiting for the next chapter
I've been hooked since chapter 9. I make a point to check in every three days or so to see if there's a new chapter. And I silently squee in joy when I'm proven right.
I came into this with a completely open mind as to the possible identity of Mare Do Well, and I kept it that way for some time. But the more the story progresses, the more adamant I become in my belief that it's Pinkie Pie. The flimsy story of the missing costume... the already-existing feelings... the possibly intentional unhelpfulness in the search for Rarity's sales records (by the by, LOVED that reveal)... hell, I bet some of her subtle frustrations are fueled by all these nightly encounters rather than their one night in the blizzard. And Mare Do Well is becoming more open just as Pinkie Pie is withdrawing herself more from Rainbow Dash, it seems.
I half-hope I'm gonna be thrown for a loop and proven epically wrong. But at the same time, if I turn out right, I'm gonna feel so accomplished. I adore the stories that make you think even after you feel like you've got them sorted out. Props to you there.
Is it sad that this fandom - and yes, especially this story - made me more open to shipping fics? It probably is, but if I cared, I wouldn't be shouting it out for all the community to see.
I've said my peace, but I leave on this: You've given me a reason to put complete faith in the judgment calls of tropers on Fanfic Recs pages. And now I've worn out my wordier ways to say SWEET APPLE ACRES THIS STORY IS AMAZING.
Such a captivating fanfic, can't wait to find out who the mysterious Mare Do Well is!
Okay, I'll just say two things.
First, your story is nothing short of amazing.
Secondly, holy crap; Mare-Do-Well has issues!
Hey, have you seen this yet? More fan art!
http://moderatelydeviant.deviantart.com/art/Rain-and-rooftops-and-things-278526365
Are none of you getting the message of this chapter?
Don't put anypony in a box. Don't say "I don't think [insert pony] would ever act like that, so she cant be MDW."
C'est Trixie
I was so convinced that Mare Do Well was either Twilight or Rarity that I reread this entire amazing story to pick out the clues that would validate my theory. Then I found these sections and I realized that Mare Do Well had to be Pinkie. Maybe I'm wrong, but Pinkie as Mare Do Well makes a lot of sense and when I read through it again with this in mind the story became sadder, more complex, more interesting. If I had a wider vocabulary I might be able to explain how much I enjoy reading this.
Chapter 2
'"It's Mare Do Well!" an exciteable pink pony with a curling yellow mane shrieked. "Mare Do Well's back, everypony!"
A crowd was gathering around the pony who had first made the announcement, but Mare Do Well stoically ignored them all. '
'But Mare Do Well didn't doubt herself, and for the time being, she was Mare Do Well. Mare Do Well was charming and self-assured, and if she was going to impress Rainbow Dash, that was who she needed to be.
Chapter 5
Everything's so complicated now.
She cradled her head in her hooves, and tried to ignore the panic she felt fluttering in her stomach.
-----
Rainbow Dash and Twilight returned to the party, only to see that nopony had noticed their absence whatsoever, save for Pinkie; who was utterly distraught, moping in some corner with her hair deflated in a very un-Pinkie Pie way. '
I still say Rainbow Dash has Stockholm Syndrome for MDW. Nothing that MDW has done so far has invalidated that she is a lovestruck, creepy, yandere stalker. Admittedly, if Dash had blown her off in chapter one or two like it would have been smart to do, there wouldn't be a good story. Still though, this chapter (especially when Dash breaks down and cries in Fluttershy's arms) seems to prove that Dash has been emotionally manipulated by MDW.
So how long is this story going to be? I need closure. Like right now. Tell me who it is. I'm leaning towards either Pinkie or Derpy right now. Unless its going to something insane like Future Rainbow Dash coming back in time. Because as we all know every Rainbow fic eventually involves her losing her wings.