Bright Green Monster Realm, Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Undeath

by ArtieStroke

Lesson 4: Evocation

E-vo-ca-tion \ē-vō-ˈkā-shən\

n.

The school of magic concerned with converting energy into a desired physical effect, most commonly in the form of damaging elemental effects such as fireballs, lightning bolts, and ice storms.

---

Spike considered himself a pretty patient person. Being practically raised with Twilight kind of required it- she was always getting him into trouble, usually through experiments both mundane and magical. And despite her royal graces, Celestia was still a mamono- and having her as a surrogate mother could also be kind of... awkward.

He was honestly surprised how little time he spent in Celestia's personal "marshmallow hell", as he called it sometimes. The woman must have developed some extreme self control when it came to humans.

Still, the headache from Twilight and Sunset's bickering was growing worse by the second. Not even a few minutes on the open road and the two had started taking verbal pot-shots at each other- and that was three hours ago.

"And so you 'accidentally' summoned a Dark Matter? Puh-lease, if you even knew half as much as you claimed to know about magical theory you could have easily set more than a dozen completely common wards to prevent that from happening!"

"Oh, well if you're SOOOOO great at covering your tail, then how'd you end up stuck in that scroll, huh?"

"That's a completely different issue! Even with all the Power Infernal at my fingertips, Celestia's still a god damn lilim- I'm not afraid to admit when I've been outclassed! Still, I could have easily wiped her smirk off the face of the planet if I had gotten the drop on her!"

"In your dreams- Celestia is the single most powerful and benevolent ruler I've ever had the chance to meet! She's got more power in her pinkie finger than you could hope to match!"

"Yeah, well at least I'm not a shambler!"

"You scorch-marked floozy!"

"Bitch!"

"Oh, now you-"

"SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UUUUUUUUUUP!" Spike screamed, and a flock of birds cawed as they flew away from the angered kid. Both Twilight and Sunset froze under his emerald green glare, as he literally started snorting fire.

"You two have been going on and on and ON about every minor thing since we've left! 'Ooh, lookit me I'm a big scary demon!' 'Waah, you made fun of my teacher you meanie!' 'Bluh bluh bluh my ego's bigger than a minotaur's tits- I don't CARE! I swear to GOD if you two can't get along until we reach town, so help me I'll have to figure out how to seal Nightmare Moon back myself using the roasted remains of Twilight's notes because I'll have scorched the earth where you stand!"

A second later, Spike covered his mouth in shock- he never really snapped like that before. Sure, he's gotten angry, but he was pretty good at keeping it in check. The last time he went nuts like that he nearly burned down his room, and that wasn't exactly a moment to be proud of.

Sunset let out a low whistle, "Well, at least your boyfriend's got some backbone."

"He's my brother," Twilight mumbled, before sheepishly scuffing the ground, "I-I'm sorry, Spike- you're right, I shouldn't have lowered myself to her level-"

"Hey!"

"No, no- I shouldn't have shouted like that, I lost my cool-" Spike started, both of them trying to talk over each other and stammer out their apologies at the same time. Twilight sighed and opened up her arms.

"Awkward sibling hug?"

Spike nodded, "Awkward sibling hug."

Sunset gagged as they hugged it out, "And to think I almost had a modicum of respect for you. What a twerp."

"Yeah, well you're stuck with us either way," Spike said, and started marching forward, "So, which town are we stopping at again?"

"Well, I've been narrowing it down while we travel," Twilight said, pulling out the map, "And I think at this upcoming fork in the road, we should head west towards Ponyville- it's a bit of a small town, but it's the closest direct route from Canterlot to Everfree Castle."

Spike raised an eyebrow, "Ponyville?"

Twilight nodded, "Yes- primarily a farming town. One of the oldest in the lands, it was founded before Celestia herself set up Equestria as her domain."

"Huh. Neat."

"But it's also a country town, and we don't want to cause much of a scene," Twilight continued, looking over at Sunset, "And not to be rude or anything, Sunset, but you kind of... stick out."

Sunset growled, "Oh, what do you care about some yokels' opinions for? We'll be in and out in a few minutes, tops."

"You clearly underestimate how fast a bunch of farmers can pass out the torches and pitchforks," Spike said with a shrug. Sunset rolled her eyes, before waving a hand and conjuring a drab cloak.

"Fine, will this suffice, your royal pain-in-my-ass?"

"Better than nothing," Twilight nodded, and checked the map again, "We should be able to reach Ponyville in about an hour, and barring any complications we should be able to set up camp at the edge of the Everfree Forest before nightfall."

"Set up camp?" Spike whined, "But- can't we stay at an inn? It's literally right by the edge!"

"We're gonna have to get used to roughing it, Spike," Twilight said as she rolled up the map again, "Fortunately I brought plenty of field guides on the basic and advanced concepts of camping!"

Spike smacked his forehead, and Sunset raised an eyebrow before turning towards him, "Is she serious?"

"Unfortunately..." Spike grumbled. Sunset blinked once, before turning towards the heavens.

"Of all the ways you could punish me, you stick me with the most shut-in, basement dwelling nerd to ever exist... what did I do to deserve this?" She asked out loud.

"Blood sacrifice, dark forbidden magics, demonic self-monsterization, attempted assassination of royalty," Twilight started to list off, before Sunset raised her hands.

"Fine! I get it! Shut up!" she shouted, drawing the hood of her cloak tighter around her. Silence fell upon the group for a few moments as they continued to walk. Spike tried to whistle a small tune, but it fell flat. Sunset snorted.

"So- scorched us where we stood, huh?" Sunset said, and Spike grimaced.

"Maybe I was a little hasty with that..."

"Don't sell yourself short, Spike," Twilight said, "I've seen some of your own magic lessons with Celestia- it might be a bit cripplingly overspecialized, but you're a natural at evocation."

Spike rubbed the back of his neck, blushing, "Aw, shucks- it's just a little fireworks. I've seen you do much cooler stuff with other elements."

Sunset groaned again. Both with and without conversation, it seemed this trip was going to be a total pain...

---

The sun was starting to edge closer to the horizon by the time the trio made it to the edge of town, shining it's afternoon rays in their faces. Twilight found herself constantly shielding her eyes with her hand- of all things to not pack, a hat seemed to be the most annoying one to forget. For the first time in her life, Twilight considered hiring a milliner.

"Looks cozy," Spike said, eyeing the town in the distance.

"Looks boring," Sunset retorted, scowling.

"Looks like exactly where we're going," Twilight said, garnering no further arguments. The road into town swiftly went from dirt to cobbled, with a large sign saying "Welcome to Ponyville!"

The thing that surprised Twilight the most was how varied the people were- a good mix of humans and mamonos of all sorts of ilk; walking, flying, and slithering about on their business. Maybe the town wouldn't be as close minded as she assumed? Most of Canterlot, aside from the obvious exception of Celestia herself, was human- and they weren't exactly the kindest sort.

"Psst!"

Twilight felt a tap on her shoulder, and quickly turned around- but nobody was there. Oh no, she was not falling for this game.

"Spike, come on, that's totally juvenile." Twilight said, glaring down at her younger companion. Spike raised an eyebrow, looking around.

"What did I do?"

"Oh, don't play innocent- the old 'tap on the opposite shoulder' trick is literally one of the oldest in the book," she said, before feeling another tap.

"This way!" the voice whisper, and Twilight whipped around quickly- catching only the slightest glimpse of magenta and pink stripes before they vanished from existence.

Spike grabbed her arm, "Twilight? Are you... all there?"

Twilight shook her head, "No, I... huh. That's weird."

She then blinked, noticing they had made it more or less in the central square of the town, where a large wooden bulletin board stood. There were a grand total of two notices, and Twilight's curiosity got the better of her. She carefully took one down, reading it over.

Public Service Address:
Citizens of Ponyville to report the following systems to medical authorities:
-Sudden changes anatomy
-Increased/Decreased proportions
-Unusual growths
-Any effects deemed 'weird' or 'unreasonable' by species
If you can provide assistance, please contact the mandragora known as Fluttershy on the southeastern edge of town.
-Your Mayor

"Well this isn't good," Spike said, and Twilight looked over at him- his gaze directed at the other notice, "Some kids went missing about a day ago," he finished, pointing at the sign. Twilight saw the picture of them- a young centaur, a harpy, and a human. Spike looked up at Twilight, and she frowned.

"Spiiiike..."

"We have like, two whole weeks Twilight! We can afford a little detour, right?" He said, "I mean, their families have gotta be worried sick, if someone snatched me you'd hope someone would help look for me, right?"

Twilight grimaced, before sighing, "Spike, as much as I'd like to, we're talking about the potential end of the-" she quickly looked around, before lowering her voice, "-The end of the world, Spike."

"Well... didn't you want to hire on some other adventurers for the trip into the Everfree?" Spike asked, "If we're going to find anyone like that, they'll probably be seeking out jobs like that, right?"

"It's just a bunch of brats, why should any of us care? It's not like they're my family or anything," Sunset spoke up, a flat look on her face, "We've got priorities here."

Twilight turned around, glaring at Sunset. She then shoved the paper she was looking at into Spike's arms, "Spike- take Sunset and find this Fluttershy person. I'll look into the other quest and see if we can't help."

Spike let out a whoop, and Sunset's jaw dropped, "Oh, come on- are you SERIOUSLY doing this just to spite me?"

"Clearly, unlike you," Twilight started, turning towards the notice board, "I have the capacity to care about others, and Celestia ordered me to help you become a better person. Consider this lesson one."

Sunset growled, and one of her fists caught fire. Twilight turned back to her.

"And I order you to not cause any trouble or harm to anyone so long as you are with Spike, alright? As far as you're concerned, he is acting in my full capacity in my absence."

Sucking in a long breath, Sunset extinguished the fire on the exhale, "As... your will commands it."

Twilight nodded, as Spike dragged Sunset off to the other edge of town.

"So, I'm your boss for now, huh?"

"As much as I loathe it, yes."

"Sweet- carry me on your back! I'm tired of all this walking."

"Oh, for the love of-"

Their conversation quickly faded off, as Twilight looked over the other notice. Two addresses for contact were listed- Sweet Apple Acres and the Carousel Boutique.

"Alright, time to check out the farm."

Author's Note:

What, you can't honestly expect me to straight up follow the plot of the pilot- that's been done to DEATH. Gotta keep things fresh somehow.

Comments

[Ponyninja88]

ego's bigger than a Minotaur's d***

Wow so Minotaur's are futa's?

Well i must say that i am surprised that Fluttershy is a Mandragora of all things, but it is fitting, for her, so i am guessing the missing kid's are part of the CMC if so then i think i know what Applejack is now, though one of them being human does surprise me.
Also good to know that Spike can still defend himself.

Also i deleted my guess from one of my previous comments so i don't have a chance to spoil for other's. :)

[ArtieStroke]

7601593
Actually that was a mistake- earlier revision of mine I was trying some of my own concepts that I decided not to use. Thanks for pointing it out!

[Windsor]

Ah, Shy isn't a Vampire!? Why!?

[ArtieStroke]

7601600
Honestly it was in the running, but "I'd like to be a tree" is more of a classic

[Windsor]

7601604 Then a dryad wouldn't be better than a mandragora?

[Ponyninja88]

7601599
Your welcome

[ArtieStroke]

7601617
I was thinking about that one too, but the mandragora seemed to be a better plant

7601950
That would be correct- in this case it's basically mandrake root personified. Being that it's described as an incredibly shy and easily startled plant with some hypnotic powers, I figured it was an easy fit for Fluttershy- while not being necessarily stuck to one location like a dryad.

Darn plants not being mobile...

[Schroedingers_Katze]

Okay, Flutters is a tree, well, kinda. That will be interessting, with all the rape inducing hypnosis powers and stuff.

Hmm, could it be that Pinkie is some breed of Cheshire Cat perhaps? Just a hunch but that would fit her whole "popping up all over the place" shtick pretty well I think.

[Yaman_sennin]

I do not like that sunset is a slave of twilight

[Cheer]

9044317
Yeah. I was dealing with it alright but then some went and abused it and reminded me of its power and ugh. I know she did bad shit to deserve it but still.

[Draco Dei]

Public Service Address: Citizens of Ponyville to report the following systems to medical authorities:

Should this be "symptoms"?
Also, should there be an " in" before "anatomy"?

[_-LeXx-_]

"Awkward sibling hug?"

OMG GRAVITY FALLS REFERENCE???