• Member Since 5th Jun, 2015
  • offline last seen 15 minutes ago

Shrink Laureate


“Trixie hates to interrupt a good monologue,” said Trixie, interrupting a good monologue, “but maybe we should continue it somewhere not on fire?”

T

Twilight Sparkle has nightmares.

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 8 )

Very interesting. I kept wondering whether the last chapter was another dream or actually happening, but I guess this answers that.

7713624
Thanks. I tried to be as clear as I could that the ending two chapters are real.

The wooden table under Twilight's forehoof and the teacup held in her aura were reassuringly solid and real.

It looks like people don't really like this story. Which is fair - it's not one of my best, just something I had stuck in my head that needed to go somewhere. But I'd love to hear people say why they dislike it, specifically.

7713814
I enjoyed it. I'm a fan of disjointed, surreal dream sequences. They're a place where anything can happen, where physics cease, everything is intense as the imagination, and death tends to be more gruesome yet not have as much impact. I guess one might not like it for that very reason, too. Suspension of disbelief thresholds might be lower, the believability thrown out the window, and consequences have little weight in a dream. Like, it's for some people and not for others. I don't know if there's much to mitigate that other than write well?

I guess in that chapter with the Ursa and Trixie, before Twilight reaches the cave and is flying/swimming, I guess the pacing felt a bit off. Like, I was getting a bit bored with the amount of description but that's just me.

The chapter with the changelings had a slow gruesome buildup that made me wonder what was going on until there was enough details to figure it out myself. For a sec I was thinking they were Breezies since indifferent maiming disaster seems to hit them often enough, right until Twi finds that one shapeshifting. The implication I got was that this is what happened to them immediately after Cadance and Shinings love explosion sent the changelings flying. Still don't really get why Chrysalis mentioned 'Shy. Chalk it up to dream?

Really enjoyed Celestia's character here. Manipulative, yet caring, and planning things out for the long term.

Thanks for the feedback. I'm glad you appreciated it.

Ultimately, I suspect this fic was too much concept, not enough story. The conflict facing Twilight, her dilemma between guilt and correctness, didn't come out until the penultimate chapter (the first non-dream), and then it was dealt with quickly. There wasn't any space given for it to actually develop. I wonder if adding real-world chapters in between each of the dreams might have helped?

7720887 Forgot to tag you on my reply.

7720887
She doesn't; she's trying to say "Shining Armor", and I think the implication is that for all of her claims that she doesn't love the groom and just used Shining as a tool, there may have been a deeper connection.

Or so, at least, I think Twilight's dream is suggesting.

Also, that was one cunning Celestia. I like her as a well-meaning, benevolent manipulative mastermind, and she's excellent here!

Oh, I do like this one. It really could use a few more coats of polish (you mention hot, underground manga casting a reddish glow at one point which was an image that amused me far more than it should), but I like the concept very much. I've been thinking about a similar idea since Twilight Sparkle Makes a Cup of Tea, actually, in which the horror is seen from Celestia's side.

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