It was a normal day in Ponyville. The birds were chipping, the flowers were blooming, and ponies were wandering around doing their business.
Well, that is until a certain animal caretaker came into Ponyville, running to the way to the Golden Oaks. She quickly ran inside and slammed the door behind her. She then proceeded to lean on the door, gasping for breath.
All that time, Princess Celestia's prized student, a unicorn with a lavender coat of fur with navy blue hair which had a magenta stripe in it wearing a light blue blouse with a pink bow tie and a purple skirt watched her with a surprised expression on her face. Her name was Twilight Sparkle.
"Is something wrong, Fluttershy? Or have you had your shadow chasing you again?" the unicorn asked with a raised eyebrow. Fluttershy fanatically shook her head.
"No, Twilight. I've seen an alien!" the pegasus yelled with her high-pitched voice.
Twilight froze and stared at Fluttershy with wide eyes. Suddenly, a creepy grin appeared on her face.
"Oh, Fluttershy, you have to tell me everything about it!" she said with almost mad expression on her face as she gleefully clapped her hands and used her magic to summon a piece of parchment and a quill.
Fluttershy took a step back, scared by her friend’s sudden change of demeanor, but had nodded and sat down on the nearby bed.
"W-well, I-I had been looking for carrots to feed Angel, but suddenly a manticore attacked me. I had thought I was going to die, but then I heard a creepy breathing. I looked around and saw the alien. It was extremely tall, possibly as Princess Celestia and it wore black armor with a long cape and the scariest mask i have ever seen! The manticore saw it too and jumped at it. The alien pulled out strange black stick and a purple beam of light appeared from it. It swung the stick at the manticore and cut it in half. T-then it had returned its stick back to its belt and walked to me. It said something, but I don’t know what. I-its voice... it was terrifying! It was deep and rough, demonic-like! I was so scared that I screamed and ran away. And then I came here." Fluttershy finished, almost crying.
Twilight felt small pang in her heart. She hugged Fluttershy and petted her, hushing her and telling her to calm down. After a few minutes, she did.
"Flutters, I’ll send a letter to Princess Celestia. She’ll probably come to see the alien and you'll have to show us where the alien went so we can find it, understand?" she had asked and got a weak nod in return. “Good. You lie down and rest. You’ve had a busy day. SPIKE!” Twilight called.
In Canterlot
Princess Celestia took a swig of whisky right from the bottle. She had had an awful day. First, she had to attend a meeting for a noble who wanted a maid to be executed because she made his bath one degree hotter. Second, she got a complaint from her annoying nephew AGAIN. Something about a commoner mare refusing to go on a date with him and that she should be punished for that. Lastly, she had a mountain of paperwork to do which haven't reduced in a slightest. In fact, it looked like it had grown a few centimeters. Celestia let out a groan, hoping something would happen. Her prayers were magically answered. In a flash of green flames, a note from her faithful student appeared. She smiled and opened the note.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Something truly remarkable has happened. My friend Fluttershy was searching for carrots for her bunny Angel, when a manticore attacked her. She had thought she was finished, but then an alien appeared! I know it sounds crazy, but it's true. Fluttershy said it's bipedal and very tall. It was dressed in black armor, adorned with long black cape and scary mask. It was breathing very loudly. Fluttershy also said that when the manticore had attacked it, the creature had pulled out a stick and a beam of purple light had appeared, cutting the manticore in half with only one swing! It had also said something to her in deep, robotic voice, but then she ran away. I require your assistance to search for this creature. This could be huge change in Equestria's history! Who knows what technology and knowledge this alien possesses?!
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
Celestia’s eyes widened as she read her protege’s letter.
"GUARDS!" she yelled once she’d finished reading. Two Solar Guards entered the throne room and knelt before the Princess.
"You called us, Princess?" one of them said.
"Wake up my sister, prepare a carriage, the Elements of Harmony and select few Solar Guards, Lunar Guards and Captain Shining Armor. We must go to Ponyville immediately!"
“Yes, Your Highness,” said the Solar Guards, rising and virtually running to do their Princess’s bidding.
Ponyville:
Twilight had gathered all her friends and Fluttershy told them about the alien. Their reactions were… somewhat mixed.
"We should go in that forest, find the alien and show him who's the boss!" Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty. who was a pegasus and had a sky-blue coat of fur and a rainbow-patterned hairstyle, and wore a blue jacket with a white t-shirt with the image of a rainbow-patterned lightning bolt underneath and blue exclaimed, smashing her right fist into her left hand as she spoke.
"I concur, Rainbow. It sounds like some kind of brute. Not to mention that his attire sounds like utter garbage!" Rarity, the Element of Generosity (and forever drama queen), who was an alabaster-furred unicorn with curly purple hair wearing a baby blue blouse and a purple skirt, said, dramatically putting her hand on her forehead.
"OH, I HOPE HE LIKES PARTIES, BECAUSEIAMGOINGTOTHROWHIMTHEBESTESTPARTYHEEVEREREXPERIENCED!!!" Pinkie Pie, the Element of Laughter, who was a pink-furred earth pony with bushy pink hair wearing a light blue jacket with a white t-shirt that bore the image of a heart and blue jeans said while bouncing around. This was nothing weird for her.
"Ah just hope it's not gunna be aggressive and be cooperative. If not, Rainbow and ah will show this thing into the dirt." Applejack, the Element of Honesty, who was an earth pony with a blonde pony tail wearing her father’s stetson hat, a green shirt, and blue jeans said with her arms crossed.
Twilight and Fluttershy had remained silent and waited for the Princess to come.
knock, knock.
Twilight rushed to the door and opened it. When she opened the door, she not only saw Princess Celestia, but Princess Luna, a few Royal Guards, and her brother, Shining Armor, who had alabaster fur, navy blue hair, and wore purple and golden armor.
"Shiny!" Twilight yelled and jumped at her brother, hugging him. A couple of the guards snickered, but they were quickly silenced when their captain had glared at them.
"It's good to see you too, Twily, but could you let me go, I still need to breathe," choked Shining Armor, who was slowly starting to turn blue from the lack of oxygen. Twilight quickly released him, blushing in embarrassment as Shining Armor began swallowing big chunks of air. Twilight then turned to the Princesses and kneeled, as did her friends.
"My faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, it's so good to see you again,” Celestia said as the Mane 6 rose from the ground.
"Alas, I fear that now it's not the time for hugs. If everything what you have written in that letter is true, this alien may be extremely dangerous. We must go now to find it bring it to Canterlot for negotiation. In case it won't come willingly and starts acting aggressive, i brought your Elements of Harmony,” Celestia explained as Lunar Guards brought forth the chest in which the Elements were resting. Mane 6 took each their respected necklaces (Twilight took her tiara).
"We must proceed to the forest now. Faust knows what that alien is doing in the moment." Princess Luna exclaimed. And with that, they all started walking towards the forest.
When's the next chapter? I want to read it very much!
Likes for dat guy for the stories!
Me like sooooooooooooooooooo much. Please when is next chapter!!!!!!!
KO awesome chapter, looks every pony are going to see Ankian and find out his reasons of being in their world. Hope things don't go too extreme.
Why you make chapters so short? Ps.(i love the story, keep going.)
UPDATE!
Yeah, about right for the ponies! Curb stomped ponies inbound.
Also, like the new cover art but might want to have editor and spellcheck do a touch up
Was really looking forward to this chapter then the Blueblood hate come
*sharp inhale* Oooooh, language barrier... That's gonna be an issue.
i62.tinypic.com/i4mpf5.gif
...They're gonna get their asses kicked
cant wait for the next chapter dude:D
I started reading this with some hope, but that was quickly lost. So far you have less than 4k words and already you have multiple run on paragraphs and a lot of typos. I would really recommend getting an editor or a proof-reader.
Let's take the second last paragraph for example:
And that most likely isn't all the errors in the paragraph or even close to the worst paragraph in the chapter, let alone the story so far.
I'm sorry but despite my interest in the concept, the writing quality already made me give up.
Good luck with your story.
Wow, that description. "The Dark Vadar". He's a person. Not a thing.
Also, the second chapter's name. "Aliens exist!?".
I'd understand that from the pony POV, but it's a bit weird having that as a chapter name in this kind of story.
Hope they all realize it's all a big misunderstanding as Anakin was brought to their world for redemption.
Awesome story can't wait for the next chapter.
7785472 They will. After he wipes the floor with them.
7785098 Thanks for the advice, i appreciate that. I know i desperatly need an editor, but do you know how hard is to find a reliable editor these days?
7786222 I think there is actually a group dedicated for that purpose on the site. Can't seem to remember the name now.
And an editor is something almost every writer should have. Myself included of I someday manage to piece my scattered thoughts into a story and find the time to write something.
7786256 Ty
Capitalize your isolated I's.
MOOOOAAARRR
Pretty good idea with poor execution.
The scenes are not brought out for long enough.
The characters are like robots.
You should definitely keep going though. Your writing can only improve.
I'm not going to bother trying to correct all the errors in this chapter.
Also:
Avatar of the Force
Avatar of the Force
From that description alone I think it's obvious who is going to win.
A Plan Is Forming...
img00.deviantart.net/9789/i/2015/345/8/e/kylo_ren_by_dleoblack-d9jr8rp.jpg
derpicdn.net/img/2013/4/15/298893/full.gif
7786222 I volunteer as tribute! Just ask Autarch of the Legion, I may not always be the most punctual (for various reasons, not exclusive to laziness), but I take pride in my work and strive for quality products!
i love it i hope 2 c more
Purple?
when will the next chapter be out?
7829550
Remember Vader was a Jedi before his fall so he knows both light and dark, so he has a purple blade.
Where can I find this pic from
7836285https://www.google.rs/search?q=anakin+skywalker&client=ms-android-lge&hl=sr-RS&prmd=ivn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj165DFkqPRAhUKshQKHRcoDYEQ_AUIBygB&biw=360&bih=570#hl=sr-RS&tbm=isch&q=anakin+skywalker+darth+vader&imgrc=H37uqE7jrpEQpM%3A
Is it possible to bring in some of his 501st legion?
7848402 No, but I will give him 502nd legion!
>> GhostRider666 Are you going to bring entire legion!?
By the way who are the 502nd Legion? I don't remember hearing of them.
7850561 Of course you haven't! They shall be Vader's pony soldiers who have passed really rigorous training to get there as soon-to-be General Vader's personal legion.
Also, i will give them stormtroopers armor.
Judging by the description and reading only a part of the story.... this ain't Displaced.
7850590 I would say give them clone armor.
A relly nice read and i hope to see more of this story.
7861852 Indeed. Displaced stories is were a persona goes to a con as x character and ends up in equestria becoming said character. Personally not a fan of those since i never found out the point.
Why do you write the Darth Vader and not just Darth Vader
7892020 What do you mean?
7892574 I was talking about in the discription
7892574 when is the next chapter?
More.
Man the ponies most of the time are a bunch of xenophobics
9144833
Yep!
Well there idiots.