I love making stories about MLP and drawing MLP and I hope I'll make good stories for you all
Ever since Twilight has become a Princess, she has been more caught up with her studies and friends. Now Celestia has decided she is ready for her own army in the great town of Ponyville. She will need a Captain for the army but who will be right for the job?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Sorry about the title messing up i fixed it
I'm going to first tell you the bad sides.
-Get a proofreader, there are some groups on this site that you can look one for.
-It felt very rushed. Look into pacing. A proofreader will also help with this.
Time for the good sides.
-You have a solid idea at least from what I can see based on this chapter.
-Your grammar is on point most of the time and there are very few misspells.
Over all you just need to familiarise yourself with a few things. I'll see if I can find this one really handy guide on this site. If I find it I'll edit this comment and link it.
Found it, https://www.fimfiction.net/writing-guide this is the more or less official guide of this site.
7594231 would you be able to proof read my first chapter, and also i'm creating a second chapter soon
THE FUTURE IS NOW
7594255 you do realize by killing Celestial, you need the tragedy tag right? Although I wish you hadn't killed her. In every good war story, she gets killed. I was hoping to read a story where she lived or at least badly injured, but still alive
7602313 also I will be putting the tragedy tag on there thanks for the reminder and she died in my story as a war hero if that helps.
7602394 not really. I wanted to read a war story where she survived. Cause she seems to die in 99% of them
7602397 I probably will have another story like this and I promise you she will survive
7602402 yay
7602404 heck you never know I might revive her in this story........I'm not going to spoil it lol
7602407 tease
7602408 lol
I will try to get chapter 4 in tonight
Picture source for anyone interested
http://therandomjoyrider.deviantart.com/art/For-Them-For-Me-For-Equestria-569759714
7655839 the website i found it on should be there and if it wasn't sorry about that but thank you for putting it