Bloodborne. I love you writer. I don't care if the story is good or not (Is, made it to home page), you made a bloodborne story, therefore you are best writer.
7625102 That's a pity, although I don't know why you had to comment about it. If you're not going to read it, you're not going to read it. Telling me you don't like 2nd person stories isn't going to change how I write this one though.
7625118 Maybe you can explain it to me, then. What do you get out of writing 2nd person that wouldn't otherwise be available if you actually created a character with their own established backstory and history? If the idea is to insert yourself into the story, we all know what a load of cancer that is.
If the idea is to allow the reader to superimpose their own psyche onto the character, then you're going to break immersion every time you write a piece of dialogue that the reader wouldn't consider using (which will be constantly). If the goal is immersion, then dictating all of the readers actions will lose that the instant you take one that isn't something the reader would do.
If the reader is, like me, a slightly lazy writer who spends far too many hours playing Overwatch, then 'You're suddenly a character from a video-game!' with none of the talent means I'm likely to trip over my own feet, then stab myself with my own lightsaber.
Maybe I'm just not understanding the purpose here.
7625245 I wrote this story in second person to keep it in line with the game. The main character is never described except for the fact they are a unicorn. Instead, the reader decides the gender of the main character. The reader decides their appearance, their cutie mark, their history. The reader decides who they are. The reader can now place themselves inside the role of the main character, just like they can when playing the game. The fact that you yourself believe that it is a load of cancer does nothing to take away the fact that this is what 2nd person narrative is supposed to do.
No, 2nd place narratives don't take away an established backstory and history from the character. You are giving the reader the option to fill it in themselves; to make a character they can identify with. This has nothing to do with a lack of creativity on the part of the author; I have given the MC a name, a gender, and an appearance. It just hasn't been shared with the reader.
Also, if you'd actually read the story, the main character hasn't spoken a line of dialogue yet. It's implied that they speak, but the actual dialogue is left to the readers' imagination.
2nd person narratives, like all types of narrative, is a form of art. Some people enjoy it, some people understand it, while there are those that just don't see the appeal.
7625264 I...am afraid I'm one of those. It's a piece of 'art', insofar as it's a My Little Pony/Bloodborne crossover fanfiction. That's fine. All well and good. Nothing pretentious there.
2nd person narrative, 'fill in the blanks' mentality to the dialogue, use-your-imagination character development, and backstory that isn't actually in the story are all pretensions. Bad ones.
This has the chance to be something pretty neat.
Since this has gone on a little longer than I thought I could without at least thumbing through the story, I figure I could give my impressions.
The prose is decent. It's not brilliant, but it's not terrible. Since I have no interest in Bloodborne, I am pretty sure I've missed some gigantic sections of the plot here. The action sequence is fine, but I've no idea what is actually going on. That can be a decent hook, though without a character to be interested in (and to be clear, the main character HAS no personality other than 'scared'.), I'm afraid I can't say it's good. Not bad from a technical standpoint, but not enjoyable.
2nd person narrative, 'fill in the blanks' mentality to the dialogue, use-your-imagination character development, and backstory that isn't actually in the story are all pretensions. Bad ones.
No they're not. They're bad in your opinion. Your opinion is not law.
Since I have no interest in Bloodborne
Then what the fuck are you doing on a Bloodborne crossover story? That's like going to a football game, complaining that all it is is 14 guys fighting over a bag of air, and when people try and explain it, you say 'oh, I have no interest in football'. This story was clearly not written for YOUR enjoyment, but the enjoyment of people who have actually played the fucking game! Seriously, the story is a 2nd person Bloodborne story, and you've clearly stated you don't care for either, so why the hell did you click on it in the first place?
That one can be kind of an objective issue. Stories should ideally be accessible to anyone who reads them, not just people who know the crossover source material. If you need to have played the game to understand it, it's the bad kind of backstory.
76253447625391 Well, seeing as we are only on chapter 1, of course there is no backstory yet. Also, you don't need previous knowledge of the game in order to read this; it just makes the ride more enjoyable. Nothing will ever be answered with "if you played the game you'd understand".
7625398 Fair enough, just pointing it out. It's a problem a lot of crossovers I've seen here tend to have. They often implicitly assume anyone interested in reading them will already know all the terms and such.
7625401 I know what you're talking about, and I dislike it as well. This story shouldn't have that problem since, as I've stated before, I'll be explaining most of what's going on in the story itself. That being said, I might slip up occasionally as it's hard to look at the story from an outside perspective, seeing as I've put more than 24 hours into the game.
It should help that most (if not all) the characters will be from the mlp universe, not the Bloodborne one.
Well I hope we get the true ending. Because from when I saw a friend playing those fights they where jaw dropping.
Why was I not notified about a chapter 1 being released?
Now you're going to get a comment after this one because of this failure.
The good ol' Saw Cleaver. A decent dex weapon. Soon the better dex weapons will appear and the best dex build will be made.
It's time for the hunt to begin.
Featured how?
Edit: nevermind, saw who wrote it. Carry on don't pay attention to the idiot here.
YES! DO NOT ABANDON THIS STORY OR I WILL EAT YOU ALIVE.
Bloodborne.
I love you writer.
I don't care if the story is good or not (Is, made it to home page), you made a bloodborne story, therefore you are best writer.
Anthropomorphized wolf demon princess horrors? that's my guess!
It's time to cleanse the streets!
7623600 You disgust me.
7623937 Play them. Now. No excuses. You're a waste of skin if you don't.
7624403
7624530 I'm very happy with how the character creation part of the prologue went. It feels natural.
7624686 Do not worry. Though the night, and the dream, are long, they will be concluded.
7625045
what r u? casul?
Anyways. There are so few good Bloodborne crossovers here, even fewer of them are complete. I'd even go as far as to guess that none have ever been completed thus far. I hope this one ends up as a great for the Souls community on this site. Praise the Good Blood!
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/bloodborne/images/a/af/Image-bloodborne-gesture-05.gif/revision/latest?cb=20150329045907
Sigh...another 2nd person fic I'm not going to read. It's got a neat concept, but I wish 2nd person wasn't a thing.
-Chessie
7625091 All the chapters have already been planned out, my friend. I simply need to write them.
7625102 That's a pity, although I don't know why you had to comment about it. If you're not going to read it, you're not going to read it. Telling me you don't like 2nd person stories isn't going to change how I write this one though.
7625118 Maybe you can explain it to me, then. What do you get out of writing 2nd person that wouldn't otherwise be available if you actually created a character with their own established backstory and history? If the idea is to insert yourself into the story, we all know what a load of cancer that is.
If the idea is to allow the reader to superimpose their own psyche onto the character, then you're going to break immersion every time you write a piece of dialogue that the reader wouldn't consider using (which will be constantly). If the goal is immersion, then dictating all of the readers actions will lose that the instant you take one that isn't something the reader would do.
If the reader is, like me, a slightly lazy writer who spends far too many hours playing Overwatch, then 'You're suddenly a character from a video-game!' with none of the talent means I'm likely to trip over my own feet, then stab myself with my own lightsaber.
Maybe I'm just not understanding the purpose here.
-Chessie
7625245 I wrote this story in second person to keep it in line with the game. The main character is never described except for the fact they are a unicorn. Instead, the reader decides the gender of the main character. The reader decides their appearance, their cutie mark, their history. The reader decides who they are. The reader can now place themselves inside the role of the main character, just like they can when playing the game. The fact that you yourself believe that it is a load of cancer does nothing to take away the fact that this is what 2nd person narrative is supposed to do.
No, 2nd place narratives don't take away an established backstory and history from the character. You are giving the reader the option to fill it in themselves; to make a character they can identify with. This has nothing to do with a lack of creativity on the part of the author; I have given the MC a name, a gender, and an appearance. It just hasn't been shared with the reader.
Also, if you'd actually read the story, the main character hasn't spoken a line of dialogue yet. It's implied that they speak, but the actual dialogue is left to the readers' imagination.
2nd person narratives, like all types of narrative, is a form of art. Some people enjoy it, some people understand it, while there are those that just don't see the appeal.
7625264 I...am afraid I'm one of those. It's a piece of 'art', insofar as it's a My Little Pony/Bloodborne crossover fanfiction. That's fine. All well and good. Nothing pretentious there.
2nd person narrative, 'fill in the blanks' mentality to the dialogue, use-your-imagination character development, and backstory that isn't actually in the story are all pretensions. Bad ones.
This has the chance to be something pretty neat.
Since this has gone on a little longer than I thought I could without at least thumbing through the story, I figure I could give my impressions.
The prose is decent. It's not brilliant, but it's not terrible. Since I have no interest in Bloodborne, I am pretty sure I've missed some gigantic sections of the plot here. The action sequence is fine, but I've no idea what is actually going on. That can be a decent hook, though without a character to be interested in (and to be clear, the main character HAS no personality other than 'scared'.), I'm afraid I can't say it's good. Not bad from a technical standpoint, but not enjoyable.
-Chessie
7625344
No they're not. They're bad in your opinion. Your opinion is not law.
Then what the fuck are you doing on a Bloodborne crossover story? That's like going to a football game, complaining that all it is is 14 guys fighting over a bag of air, and when people try and explain it, you say 'oh, I have no interest in football'. This story was clearly not written for YOUR enjoyment, but the enjoyment of people who have actually played the fucking game! Seriously, the story is a 2nd person Bloodborne story, and you've clearly stated you don't care for either, so why the hell did you click on it in the first place?
7625344
That one can be kind of an objective issue. Stories should ideally be accessible to anyone who reads them, not just people who know the crossover source material. If you need to have played the game to understand it, it's the bad kind of backstory.
7625344 7625391 Well, seeing as we are only on chapter 1, of course there is no backstory yet. Also, you don't need previous knowledge of the game in order to read this; it just makes the ride more enjoyable. Nothing will ever be answered with "if you played the game you'd understand".
7625387 Don't start shit on this story.
7625398
Fair enough, just pointing it out. It's a problem a lot of crossovers I've seen here tend to have. They often implicitly assume anyone interested in reading them will already know all the terms and such.
7625401 I know what you're talking about, and I dislike it as well. This story shouldn't have that problem since, as I've stated before, I'll be explaining most of what's going on in the story itself. That being said, I might slip up occasionally as it's hard to look at the story from an outside perspective, seeing as I've put more than 24 hours into the game.
It should help that most (if not all) the characters will be from the mlp universe, not the Bloodborne one.
7625405
>implying 24 hours is a lot
>implying non-idiocy
>implying he/she still has a social life afterms playing this game
7626511 When you can beat the game in around 6 hours, 24 is more than you'd think. Also, I'm not sure why you think I'm implying non-idiocy.
I will agree with the no social life thing though... but mostly because of writing for this site.
If this goes how the bloodborne game goes, than he will make his way to the Cleric Beast, or the equivalent of it.
7627575 Or he could just go right for Father Gascoigne. Cleric Beast is optional.