• Published 28th Oct 2016
  • 548 Views, 16 Comments

At War with the Army - Clear_Skies



As a pony in the service, there is the name you're born with, the mark you earn, and then the one you earn. Newly-minted Captain Down Range is tasked with taking command of Lazy Company - better known as the dumping ground of the Royal Army.

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Chapter 2 Meet and Greet

Lazy Company File - #008

It comes as no surprise that I found myself personally present at the assembly where my commanding officer, or CO to keep it simple, addressed his new command. It is expected as per protocol, and even though I knew each soldier's profile rather well, it was better to personally get to know them on a more intimate level beyond that of personal records. Papers did not share the minds and attitudes of a living being, and my CO certainly agreed with me on the importance of this subject.

Thus I prepared myself for duty, so that I can not only anticipate, but meet the needs of my CO's requirements. It certainly pays to be prepared, logistics is truly key in any situation no matter how small it may be.

Of course the short weeks before the assembly, I was already assisting him by gathering the required information necessary to understand each and every soldier in the company from an observers view. My ability to be where I need to be without being seen, allowed me an unbiased view of the troops interactions with each other.

Erratic, chaotic, and many more words would best describe the company of troublemakers. Yet, if Down Range is correct in his assumptions, these troops would be soft, and ready for molding into a proper organization. I only hope his assumptions are correct, for I fear he stands before the barrel of the militaries upper echelon, along with myself beside him.

---

Lazy Company's recreation hall, if it could be called that, was virtually deserted during the evenings. At one time it had merely been depressing in its lifelessness, but over time, the company had stopped picking up after themselves, and a litter of rotted, half-eaten food added a new air to the atmosphere. More simply put, it reeked.

Tonight, however, the room was full of life. The grapevine had it that the new company commander wanted to finally address the troops, and that roll call would most likely be taken to guarantee that everyone was in attendance.

Like all auditoriums in the military, there were certainly not enough seats to go around, even including the perching points on the pool table and cider barrels. This regrettably followed with the military pecking order among the company, spots being yielded to the stronger members of the troop. Though they certainly tried to maintain an air of boredom, these soldiers were nonetheless curious about the new commander, and that subject dominated the conversation, particularly among the younger recruits.

"Sure is taken'em long enough to call this meeting," one grumbled. "he's been in residence for almost a few weeks and hasn't spoken a word to anyone... just keeps sending that fine looking lieutenant of his with orders, or heading into town on errands."

"Probably an ego big enough to fit us all in."

"Who cares? Spoiled rich kid by how young he looks, anyway. Whadja expect in an outfit where commissions can be bought? Stupid nobles and their policies."

"What do you think he's going to say?"

This last comment proved to be too tempting to pass on for the company's first sergeant, who had been lounging nearby, eavesdropping on the 'conversation.' She was a tough mare, a mirror image of Fleur-de-lis, if she decided to pack on her weight in muscles, seated on the ground, her proportions, shapely and strong as they were, seemed comparable to any other mare, that is until she stood up. There was a reason many stallions respected her, it wasn't just her size, it was her ability to back up her own words, that made her a force to be reckoned with. The size helps though.

"I'll tell you what he's going to say," she announced with bombastic boredom.

"What's that, Ace?"

Aside from her rank and size, the first sergeant had a powerful aura of confidence in her movements that earned her deferential treatment and attention whenever she chose to speak.

"Like any CO, he'll give us the good ol'mantra as many others before," she said. "First, it'll be a joke. Probably a requirement written in the Officer's Manual that you have to open with a joke or something witty when dealing with us enlisted personnel. Next it'll be a promise about how the past is the past, and that he's going to make this the best unit in the military. Course, he won't say how, just that its going to happen, like how our Princess of Friendship whips her cute little flank around to solve all our problems, allowing us this most comfortable detail...so expect drills, inspections, and even curfews, Celestia forbid. After all that he'll up and give up on us and start tugging at the commands heartstrings to get a transfer out of here."

A few of the veterans within earshot grunted their agreement or simply grinned, giving off light hearted chuckles at the top sergeant's analysis. They, too, have certainly heard it all before.

"So we basically have two choices," Ace continued. "You can wait'em out, or you can snuggle up to him and hope he'll take you with him on the way out of this bog of stench."

Several moments of uncomfortable silence followed before one of the younger soldiers voiced their thoughts.

"Could there be a better detail out there to join...Sarge?"

Ace spat noisily upon the floor before answering. "All depends on what you think is a better deal. Standin' guard in a wild forest ain't no picnic, but sure as sugar beats getting shot at. Far as company goes..."

She threw a glance at the company's two 2nd lieutenants fidgeting in the opposite corners across the room and lowered her voice. "All officers have proved to be pretty much the same, none a lick good for much more than signing reports, or holding the company baggage. My thoughts, a company like this, grunts like us, well...folks ever hear of a Lazy Company?"

The sudden crash of chairs being knocked around and voices cheering with catcalls drew the attention of everyone in the room, at least momentarily. It was all the time it took for the company to realize it was only Dust Might on another one of her rampages and return to whatever they were doing before.

Dust Might, being the smallest soldier in the company, had a temper like a timid volcano, exploding at any provocation, real or imagined. In this case, it was always about her height, and comments towards it real or unreal always set her off.

"Right, so who lit the bugs fuse this time?" Ace mused, half to herself.

"Eh, who knows?" one of her listeners said. "Other day she jumped me in the chow line. All I asked was for a short stack of flapjacks."

"Yup, that's Dusty alright." The sarge nodded as the others chuckled. "Kinda surprised, with all the fighting the cream puff does, you'd think she'd be better at it, just look at that."

The small diminutive Pegasus known as Dust Might, chocolate coat of fur, and orange mane striped with a single line of blue, was currently shouting death threats and vulgarities, swinging her hooves blindly as her opponent kept her away from him with a single hoof upon her forehead. Surprisingly, much to the company's humor, it was working.

Ace frowned, shaking her had sadly as she finished her thoughts. "So Lazy Companies. The basket of oddballs, packed up and shi-"

"Ten-HUT!"

The booming voice of 2nd Lt. Metric Ton reverberated off the walls, course no one paid it much heed. He was rumored to be a reject from the Royal Guard, and had never rid himself of the more professional reflex of calling a room to order when a superior officer entered. Such traditions were practiced by the regular military, but course the "Lazy" Company found themselves an exception to this ruling. All his shouting did, was call attention to the fact that the new CO had just entered the room.

Trotting through the door with a form that was both relaxed and yet vibrating with restrained energy, the kelpie dominated the assemblage with his mere presence. His uniform was a glowing black uniform which accentuated his brown coat, seams edged with gold and silver lining and tailored to his wiry sculpted body. A wrist-sword with a polished pearl clamp sat on its hilt that hung at his side matching some of the colorful pearls that peppered his skin in intricate patterns and swirls, surely he would seem more comical if not for the icy gaze he leveled at the company. So unsettling was the stare and the silence which accompanied it that several veterans began to nervously rise to attention. The CO took no notice though, any more than he did of those who remained seated.

"Scum and garbage, tossers, and dunders," he said flatly without introduction. "I don't care for it...though it's clear most of you think that way in how you conduct yourselves."

The company suddenly became rather self-conscious of their ragged uniforms and the garbage strewn about the floor. A few eyes were turned toward the first sergeant as if to ask "What happened to the expected joke?". She ignored them, making a show of concentrating on the young CO's words as he continued.

"I'm well aware that you all lack a bit in your skills, your character traits that usually define the so-called perfect soldier. I'm also aware that a perfect soldier doesn't exist. I don't care bout the dream soldier, I want effective soldiers. 'Effective' mean getting the job done with whatever or whomever you have handy...not letting it all go to waste while you moan about what you haven't got!" he snapped sharply. "You've all focused on your faults, and shortcomings, so much so that you find it impossible to see your own strengths. That's why I am here."

He swept the room with a sharp gauze before continuing. "I am call sign Captain D-Range, and I am your new commanding officer if it wasn't to obvious. Since I've seen all of your files and know quite a bit about you, I figured it would only be polite to return the favor... even if it means having to share a little more than standard military protocol. I am Down Range, as you can see how cleverly the military has hidden my identity, I am the son of the owner of Range Works Munitions. As you might have guessed, I'm a bit rich."

A wave passed through the troops present, like cold ice being poured down ones back. "A bit rich," was quite the understatement.

"Now I know that many of you resent the idea of purchased commissions. I won't apologize for the system, or for using it to my advantage. Its a practice that was quite common during the old days of the Platinum Era, and their officers did quite well due to good up bringing."

"There is a tradition from the old times that I intend to implement here and now; that the commanding officer supplements the units under his command with his own finances." Downy held up a hoof to calm the collective gasps and exasperated comments rising form the troops. "I find military bureaucracy to be a pain. You order equipment and expect it never, request munitions and file forms in triplicate, all to be lost in the general minutia."

"Let me make one thing clear. I did not inherit my money. While I most certainly received a loan from my father, one I paid back in full plus interest. I was a multimillionaire before I was out of my teen colt years, and I did it by buying companies and corporations that others thought were losers, and making something of them." he allowed the company to ingest this bit of information. "They have golden ideas, ideas that the nobles and tops like to turn their noses up at as being foolish dreams. I see that here, I see gold, I see dreams that need the chance to be answered and it is exactly what I intend to do."

Downy waved his hoof across the congregation of boots on the ground, offering a scheming smile. "You're raw, and raw material can be refined, tempered, all of which requires job management, and if this company can't become effective, it will be my fault, not yours." Downy then waved to Iron Lotus, the blackish blue nocturne trotted over to stand beside him. Her golden mane shined brightly in contrast to her coat and leathery black wings, a military garrison cap helping to frame her face. "This is my 1st Lieutenant Iron Lotus, my 2nd in command. You've probably seen her around the base. I see her as my friend and confidant. I have a great deal of respect for her calm attitude, and would appreciate it if you treated her with a higher degree of respect than you would myself."

"Now to the final point before we go any further." Downy sat back on his haunches, hooves crossed. "We are independently wealthy through hard work and investments. I don't know what your plans are for retirement, or if you're saving any of your wages as of this day. I do know that if you aren't proper with your finances, you should be. Handling money is something we do well, and I hereby place my skills at the disposal of the company...lads, I will be using your skills and talents, however praiseworthy or dubious they maybe, and this will be to the benefit of all, so in return I do hope you will take advantage of mine in order to better yourselves, and Iron, if she approves. You folks will find that a set of portfolio stocks has been enable for any who wish to participate with investing their savings, or whatever portion of pay ya wish ta assign to that purpose. While I can't guarantee success, I've yet to have a portfolio lose money. No pony, dog, or yak is required to do this, but if you got a question that needs a thumping, well, 1st Lieutenant Iron Lotus, if you would display and summarize their prioritized piece of gear."

Iron Lotus gave a firm nod, stepping forward and flicking a set of small spectacles out with her right wing to settle upon the bridge of her muzzle. "I am 1st Lieutenant Iron Lotus, courtesy of your commanding officer, I present to you the æther* communications device, or æcomms." her other wing stretched out to present a tiny acorn-like device hanging from a small wire upon her wing thumb. "You will each be issued one primary, and one backup. They will enable you to stay in touch with each other and with the Headquarters at all times, and vice verse. The Captain and I will be available at any time within reason. Ensure that any communication past regular hours be based upon emergencies."

"Any dare to level a joke with the devices will answer to me. Do not test my patience." She bared her fangs at the company, leveling her cat-like gauze across each and every one of them before folding her wings in and turning about-face to then stand at the captains side.

"Showoff." muttered Downy.

"You're too nice." countered Lotus.

Clearing his throat, Captain Down once again took focus of the meeting. "While there might be a lot more to cover, it can wait. First I want you all to get an idea of who I was and what I had in mind for this unit." Gesturing to the two other company officers in the back of the room he said. "Officers will met with me and cadre members in my office once we're done here. For now, any questions?"

A low buzz of murmuring soldiers rose before a sharp voice floated up clearly from the back. "We heard the mayor putting in a petition for a color guard unit to be posted at Ponyville."

Downy cocked his head slightly in thought as he replied. "First I ever heard of it, I'll check into it first thing tomorrow. Off the top, I see no issue, a nice break from the forest duties I'd say."

"Umm...excuse me, sir?" Ace drawled. "I don't think you get it. Scuttle has it she's putting in for the Royal Guard to perform instead of us. Show off their pretty primped dresses in town while we muck about in the swamps...as always."

A low grumbling coursed throughout the unit. Downy taking note of it, his expression growing stern with annoyance.

"Well see bout that lass," he said firmly. "anything else that won't keep till the morrow?"

When only silence answered him, he relaxed. "Well then, one last note is that I want you all assembled and prepped to move out first thing in the morning. We're leaving HQ for a bit."

The unit groaned in unison. Many figuring the CO to be putting them on recon duty in the forest in order to get a measure of them.

"What? We getting the place fumigated?"

Downy ignored the snickers that followed the question which had been shouted anonymously.

"Worse, I'm having it all demolished." Came his reply which was quickly answered by stunned silence. "Now get packing, the Ponyville plaza is to be our home until everything here is completed. Troops will be selected as guards on a round-robin selection in order to ensure grounds security. Officers, may I have you all join me in my office."

Dead silence followed him as he left. To the troops, the new Ponyville Plaza was considered the ritziest, most expensive hotel in the town (being the only hotel in town). The few times a soldier could attempt to enter its cocktail lounge for a drink, ended with failure at both the prices and dress codes.

Since entering the room, Downy allowed himself a truly happy smile, one mirrored on his fellow officer.

"I see you're enjoying it as much as I." He commented.

The smile quickly left Lotus's face and she "harrumphed," raising her head high and marching away from him. "It was most adequate. Don't let it get to your own head though, Captain."

Author's Note:

Æ (æ) is generally pronounced like A as in way ( at least to my ears).

All in good fun this is, all in good fun.

The company attitude has been established, sorry for the wait, not only am I still working away on new Roan rpg works, but I was also cutting a lot of text out from the dialogue.