At War with the Army

by Clear_Skies

Luck is Blind

History is more often written by the observers, than they are by those who partake in it. This is mostly true with the military due to the unfortunate mishaps that take place upon the field of battle. So much so that what many see it as an unnatural happenstance, to those in the regulars (that's the army mind you), it is merely an unfortunate case of passing away naturally, and yes taking a block of explosives to the face would leave one quite naturally deceased, a rather unfortunate circumstance if there ever was one for the one who desist all lively functions.

Allow me to introduce myself, I am of the Nocturnes, Clan Black Iron, and daughter of Iron Works, the same Iron Works of Iron Works Industry, provider of all the armor to the Royal Military. I, as the eldest child in the family, earned the family name Iron Lotus through trials and tribulations, and neither require nor seek additional titles of address that I have not earned.

That isn't the case for my fellow officer, one current Lieutenant Down Range of the Range family, providers of the newly furnished firearms, who I would also like to note, is my superior, and one whom I have learned to faithfully follow over the years. A faith that was very lacking at the start, if I were to be honest, it doesn't do well to be assigned to an officer the day of his court-martial. To be specific, his first court-martial.

It is here that I shall gladly narrate what I can of this young officers rise through history in both fortune and misfortune, I myself seated at his side, and no, command certainly never did approve of my transfer, and I have come to learn that I wouldn't have it any other way.

---

Regal is the word that best describes the room, with great swaths of gold and royal purples accentuating the white marble and cherry-red oak furniture. A set of seats are nested along opposing walls, surrounded by an assortment of tables with magazines strewn about their surfaces.

Two individuals shared this space, more at home with each other than with their surroundings. A nocturne mare of average height, dressed in impeccable but conservative armor representative of the Lunar Chapter of their royal majesties army. Her face had the bland expression of one used to waiting as she dominated one sofa, idly staring at a roll of parchment, reading the lines of text as they appeared in a wisp of emerald* and doing her best to ignore her companion.

The other occupant was anything but calm in appearance or manner. Sleek and toned like a running river, with various stones and pearls embedded along his body, the Kelpie was most determined to forever engrave an impression of himself into the floor which upon he tramped in a repetitive circular motion. If gryphon's stood vigil in maternity waiting rooms awaiting the delivery of their young, there would be little difference between their display of anxiety and that shown by the young stallion's nervous prowling. Perhaps phoenixes would be a better comparison, as his uniform was the burning red of the Solar Army-a color chosen not for its aesthetic or camouflage value as much as the fact the dye could easily hide the origins of any military surplus uniform bought in lots by budget-strapped soldiers. Not that he was wearing a standard-issue uniform, mind you. His collar pips marked him as a lieutenant, and like most officers, he had his uniforms tailor-made, though his attitude was currently more somber in comparison to his dress.

"For the love of the sun, they be playing at patty-hooves in their?" a not so subtle polish of kelpish could be heard accentuating his rather unbidden question as he began his twentieth circuit of the room.

For her part, the nocturne on the sofa didn't even glance up as she replied. "It's really not my place to say, sir." It was the first response to any of his muttering, and the lieutenant seize on the words as a focus for his agitation.

"Don't give me that 'subservient officer' rattle. You've gone and shoveled your opinions upon me like a banshee in the wind, whether I wanted it or not, so why wait now?"

Iron Lotus's gaze shifted from her reading to the lieutenant, and with a sigh she said. "Well sir, you have been rather close-minded than usual since joining the Royal Army, sir...In this specific case, however, I was under the impression that what you voiced was a rhetorical question."

"It...well it was, but answer it, anyway. Lotus please, a lad needs something worth hearing, if not to fend off this boorish wait."

Iron Lotus regarded Downy with gentle cat-like eyes, then with careful deliberation, set aside her parchment. "Off the record sir?"

"Off the record."

"Then could you please repeat the question, without the thick accent of your heritage."

"What do you believe is taking them so long?" Downy asked, resuming his prowling albeit more slowly now that he was verbalizing his thoughts. "I mean to say, I did plead guilty after all."

"Do forgive me for belaboring the obvious," Lotus said, "but if the question of guilt has been settled, then what remains is the sentencing. It would seem the court is having some difficulty in deciding precisely what punishment is correct for your offense."

"Well, what's so hard about that? I blundered. Sure. I'm sure other officers have made mistakes as such!"

"True," she replied. "However, I'm not sure how many others have duplicated the hmmm...exact nature and magnitude of your own indiscretion. I am certain that if anyone else had bombarded the ceremonial signing of a peace treaty between the Falconds and Equestria, I would have noted it in the media releases."

Downy grimaced at the memory, slowing his trot around the room. "Not like the sun can see into every shadow! Our communications was on the fritz, so we never received the bucking cease-fire order. Besides, we'd also been ordered to maintain our silence."

"If I am to understand it, you were ordered to stand silent picket duty, noting any gryphon movement throughout the area. No authorization was given to convince the Wonderbolts and the Royal Dragoons to strafe and bombard the opposition."

"Well I sure as tartarus wasn't ordered not to either! They said the battle goes to the side that takes the initiative, the opportunity was there, so I took it!"

Lotus released a gentle sigh, her eyebrows raised expressively. "Battle? I am sure you said that there was no movement nor resistance."

"That's exactly why I moved when I moved. Our instruments showed a drop in the gryphon's defense, so I figured a bit of demonstrative firepower would turn them round ta surrendering to us, and ending the fight early on."

"It was already over sir," Lotus pointed out dryly. "That is why the defensive net was dropped."

"I bloody didn't know that! I saw the def-"

"You saw the defenses lower, and talked a set of hot-shots into commencing a blitz. All in the time it took the captain to go to the loo."

"Bog it all, just a case of communications gone wrong," Downy grumbled, avoiding his comrade's eyes. "How mad could they be anyway? We aimed for property and not people, so not a feather on any gryphon's head was touched."

Lotus stretched her wings, innocently staring at the ceiling as she said. "I'm told the collateral was in excess of a million bits..."

"Well I told em I'd-"

"Also you shot their flag to shreds as it flew over the ceremony..."

"Well, I mean it was-"

"...and of course, taking down the ship was unwise at best. Excuse me, our Highnesses Ship..."

"They didn't have their beacon on!"

"Because of the cease-fire?" Lotus finished with a small toothy grin.

"But...but...sod it! Sod it all!"

Downy dropped down upon the sofa opposite Lotus.

"What do you think they'll do to me?"

"Not to sound disloyal sir," the nocturne said, retrieving her scroll again, "I do not envy them that decision."

---

Court-martials that involved junior officers generally required the mere presence of only three high officers, one each from the Army, Navy, and Air Force.

It is said that everypony in the military has three names: the one they were born with, the one they choose, and the one they earn. Though the records showed the second, most were known by the third, the nickname they acquired through their personality and actions while enlisted, though few officers formally acknowledged what the lower ranks called them.

Colonel Wolfs Bane was one of those rare cases where her chosen name and nickname were in accord. She was a stern mare, with piercing eyes that left respect, caution, and no small amount of fear in their wake, and the prim no-nonsense cut of her uniform added an implied note of disapproval for those service-ponies who favored more flamboyant styles in their own wardrobes. There was a stern air about her, one could say an intimidating effect which did little to ease those who were in contact with her. Overall, if Celestia gave the presence of a mother chiding a child, Wolfs Bane was the head mistress with the ability to raise an eyebrow while at the same time scuttling a career with a terse notation upon one's personnel file. Her figure was sharp like diamond, a pegasus mare with a heavily dark blue coat that was only accented by her lighter blue mane and tail.

Aside her sat Captain Soarin, co-officer to the Wonderbolts, his presence merely a courtesy on part that Captain Spitfire was currently tending to her wounds from the recent conflict, fortunately a simple case which she would easily recover from.

Across from Soarin, the Navy Admiral Bell polished a monocle with his beard, before magically placing it back over his eye in a rather lackadaisical manner.

They certainly were putting on a brave face, doing their part to ignore the elephant, or rather, the Colonel in the room. One who arrived unannounced from Canterlot specifically to preside over the court-martial, and while she did her best to pass it off as a routine visit, simple logistics dictated otherwise. The implications of this were clear: Canterlot had a special interest in this case and wanted to be sure of its outcome. The problem was neither of the two officers had a clue as to what was expected. While their best guess was that the lieutenant was to be made an example of, they chose by unspoken agreement to proceed with caution. Yet after an hour of playing good cop bad cop, the Colonel had given no indication as to which way she was leaning.

"We could go over the court recordings again." Said Soarin, gesturing to a set of æther crystals.

"What for? Nothing has changed." Admirable Bell muttered. His monocle sparkling, his eyes intensely scrutinizing the other two officers. "I don't know how much longer we can deliberate on this! he is guilty as Discord, I am surprised the Princesses didn't stone him themselves."

"Oh come on, seriously Be-Admiral Bell, you know just as well as I do that the circumstances involved were beyond the norm!"

Soarin had no difficulty playing the good-guy discord's advocate. It was his habit to champion the underdog...and pies, certainly pies, though even this case was trying his own generous tolerances and for good reason. Still, he rose to the challenge with gusto.

"We always complain about how junior's never seem to show enough initiative, and leadership. if we slap them down every time they try to do something, then pretty soon no pony will ever have the courage to take a risk that isn't under orders or by the book!"

The admiral let forth a snort of disbelief. "Incentive! Opportunism is more like it-at least, that's what the media called it, if I remember correctly."

"Dude seriously, media? We really letting them set our discipline these days?"

"Well, no," Bell admitted. "I hate their rhetoric as much as anyone, but we can't completely ignore our public image, either. The Equestrian Military is already considered to be the bottom of the heap, especially after the Changelings. What should have been a shining mark of pride...Soarin we can't let disasters like this have everypony thinking we're a haven for criminals and losers!"

"Oh sure, an enemy of unknown origins, from centuries in the past, gets a good sneak attack on us, and suddenly were the bad guys!" Soarin huffed. "The military has never been a home for choir colts, including, and I'll wager, all of us in this room. We're supposed to be judging this stallion's questionable action, not trying to salvage our reputation!"

"Fin. Let's look at his action. I still don't see any redeeming factors in what he did."

"He inspired one of my own comrades to pull a strafing run, in conjunction with a wing of artillery to rain a heavy bombardment upon the enemy. I know commanders who haven't been able to get that kind of cross-service support even when the pilots were under orders to cooperate. Do you think it's wise to squelch that kind of potential?"

"Ha! Its only luck that has Sgt. Fleet Foot avoiding her own court marshal Soarin. We are talking bout differentiating between 'leadership' and the ability to incite disobedience. What this brat needs is a few years in the stockade to calm him down. Maybe he'll think twice before he goes charging off half-cocked."

"I believe we would rather avoid that option."

Like a fire being snuffed out by a tidal wave, both stallions broke off their argument and turned their attention to the colonel, who had finally entered into the discussion.

"Valid points, many of which have been made, from the both of you, and such sentencing would following in the guide lines of military protocol, certainly, but there are certain... factors to be considered here in which you are not aware of." She paused, as if weighing her next words carefully, while the others waited patiently.

"I am extremely reluctant to bring this up-in fact, I rather hoped it wouldn't be necessary. As you know, each soldier has the right to a clean slate when he or she signs up. We aren't supposed to be biased by, or even be aware of their personal history prior to their enlistment. To maintain that illusion, I'll have to ask that what I say next, is to not be shared with anyone, or else I will be the last pony you see."

The two stallions shivered at the sudden drop of temperature in the room as they gave her a nod in agreement.

"It goes without saying that this young lieutenant comes from money. If he didn't, he wouldn't be an officer."

The others waited patiently for something other than what they already knew. It was known that the military raised money be selling commissions...or rather by charging hefty fees to anyone who wanted to test for one, as opposed to those who rose through the ranks by shear will of force, the Colonel being a good example of this.

"The truth is, have either of you considered the significance of the lieutenants choice of name?"

"Bolt?" Soarin said with a frown. "I mean, I figured it was a reference to lightning, or thunder, or...uh wonder...you know?"

"Figured he assumed himself to be the next Blitzkrieg," the admiral added.

"It is more in context to what one does with a bolt, like firing it at an enemy, or perhaps a target...in a range, Down...Range...to be exact."

"I don't under-"

The colonel sighed and held up a restraining hoof. "Take a moment to study your sidearm, Captain." she said gesturing to Soarin's quick-strap pistol.

Soarin merely shrugged, slapping his hoof to his side, the revolver quickly hooking onto his foreleg, then bringing it up to his face for examination. As he did, a sharp intake of breath proved that he had come to the conclusion that the colonel was hoping for.

"You...you mean"

"That is correct, Captain." Wolfs Bane nodded grimly. "Your Lt. Bolt, is none other than the only son and heir apparent to the current owner and president of Range Works Munitions."

Soarin let forth a low whistle of trepidation, carefully placing his sidearm away. If the colonel was correct, then the lieutenant they were discussing, is considered to be one of the youngest equestrian millionaires in the nation.

After an awkward few moments had passed, the colonel resumed the discussion.

"Now, what we need to consider before reaching our verdict is not only that Range Works is the largest arms manufacturer and distributor in our nation, as well as a powerful trade corporation to our allies, but also the largest single employer of veterans. Thus the question is, who wishes to suffer the consequences of being the officer to put the...axe to this young soldier."

"Er...but I swear the news talked bout both father and son having a bit of a spat over ideals."

Colonel Wolfs Bane fixed Soarin with her coldest stare. "Possibly, but family is family, and I do not want to tread that minefield. Then, too, assuming the lieutenant eventually inherits the company, I wouldn't relish going to him for a job when I retire...not if I was one of the ones who pushed the proverbial button that put him in the stockade."

"If he just resigned..." Admiral Bell muttered darkly.

"True," the colonel replied, unruffled. "But he didn't, and seems intent on staying with the military. You know regulations as well as I do. We can level any kind of punishment we want on a legionnaire, but we can't drum them out of the service. He can resign, but we can't force him to quit."

"What if the sentence was rough enough, he'd resign rather than accept it?"

"Perhaps, but I wouldn't count on it. I, for one, don't like to bluff if I'm not willing to live with the consequences if it's called, as well, his records indicate that he is rather willing to accept any risk and consequence, which makes this all the more difficult."

"Well, something's gotta be done right?" the admiral said. "After all the media coverage he's gotten."

"Change his name?" said Soarin. "I mean, it isn't the first time an officer had to have their name changed to keep the media hounds off his track."

"And how do you hide a spotlight in a cave Soarin?" shouted Bell. "Where he goes, they'll certainly follow."

"We can't let him get off scot-free can we?" Soarin said with a frown. "I mean...after what he's done and all, I feel like we're up against a wall here. Damn, I feel like I've just had my wings clipped...lucky Spits for putting me here, I think she sprained her wing on purpose."

"We cert-...ahem... I certainly wasn't suggesting we let him escape unscathed," the colonel interrupted hastily. "Rather, I think that in this particular situation, it might be best to consider some rather unconventional alternative to the stockade for punishment. Perhaps a new assignment for our dear misfit... a tour sufficiently unpleasant that it would leave no doubt in his or any other ponies mind as to the opinion this court has for his little show."

Silence engulfed the room, as the three officers began to search their minds of a posting sufficient to their needs.

"If...if he were a captain," Soarin thought out loud, breaking the silence, "we could ship him off to an Lazy Company."

"What...was...that...Captain Soarin?" The colonel's voice was suddenly very sharp.

Soarin blinked, as if waking from a dream, jolted into remembering that the court master was from Headquarters.

"I...Nothing, sir. Just thinking er...out loud?"

"Did I hear you correctly, about a Lazy Company?"

"Sir?"

"Do you know anything about this, Admiral?"

"About what, sir?" Admiral Bell said, glaring a curse at Soarin.

The colonel swept both stallions with an icy cold glare before speaking again.

"My dear, dear fellow officers, it would be best that we remind you, that I have been in this career for quite some time, longer than either of you, and I am neither blind nor stupid, and would thus expect you to treat me with respect as earned by an officer."

The other two court members squirmed, withering under her gaze like schoolcolts in the principal's office, as she continued.

"The military is large, and certainly it is not as glamorous as the Royal Guard, a rough shod of malcontents wanting an escape form something in life. We do not get to stand at attention all day for an easy check, nor do we garner the respect of our nation." The colonel stood up from her seat and slowly began pacing. "Now, I know our policy of accepting all applicants, except the worst of the worst of course, has always caused issues for field officers. Despite our loose discipline and regulations, there are always those who don't fit neatly into military life-misfits, losers, malcontents, depending on how polite you want to be when describing them. I am also aware that, in direct disregard for standing orders regarding the treatment of soldiers, from time to time there develops a Lazy Company-a dumping ground for problem cases that field officers are too busy or lazy to deal with. They are usually broken up as soon as they are discovered by command, but like a roach, they continue to pop up, and when they do, the word gets passed quietly through the military until someone inadvertently alerts us, and then the game begins all over again.

Her hooves began to clickity-clack loudly upon the floor.

"I am most aware of all this, gentlemen, and now I shall ask again: Is there a Lazy Company currently operating in the military?"

Confronted by such a direct question, the officers had little choice but to respond, and do so truthfully. Honesty may be waving when dealing with the populace, but when talking to one's own, it is paramount.

"Well..." Bell carefully navigated the conversational minefield. "There is a company that has begun to grow, where soldiers with difficulty adjusting to life within-"

"Oh buck it Bell, a spade is a spade, last I heard from Spits, a number of troops have been sent over to the newly built Ft. Everfree, as no other officer wants to handle that place, nor Ponyville." Soarin interrupted.

"Ahh interesting, the problem child's have been sent to, what the media calls the center of madness." Wolfs bane returned to her seat, and leveled a calm gaze at the other two. "Not only is it home to a princess, the elements bearers, but it also houses the spirit of madness, and seems to have a daily to weekly run-in with unscheduled calamity."

"The uh...CO er the commanding officer there has been rather...lax in screening her transfers..."

"And in everything else, as I recall," the colonel added grimly. "Lax... I like that. There is certainly a future for you in media relations, Admiral."

"Well, the situation may correct itself without the HQ's need to intervene," said Soarin, hoping to evade the stigma of having betrayed their fellow officers to headquarters. "Clouds have it that the CO's tour is over soon, and no one expects him to reenlist. A new CO would probably put a stop to things out of self-preservation."

"Maybe...maybe not."

"If you're worried about reallocating the....problem cases," the captain put in hastily. "I'm sure normal attrition will-"

"I was thinking about our problem of sentencing Lt. Bolt," the colonel interrupted dryly. "If you'll recall, tis the reason for our discussion."

"Yes sir." Soarin said with relief to the changing subject.

"Gentlemen, if I may say," Wolfs bane continued, "was that in light of this new information, I think an earlier suggestion has a degree of merit to it."

It took the other two a moment to follow her a train of thought, but when they finally latched on, they were certainly surprised.

"You mean put him in Lazy?" said Admiral Bell.

"Why not? As was just explained, these companies are a fact of military life. While command generally disbands them as being too easy a solution for our problems, at times they do serve a purpose...and it seems to me the stars truly have aligned for us."

"But the only officer's post available there is-or will be-the CO slot," Admiral Bell spluttered, "That calls for at least a captain!"

"So promote him."

"Promote him!" the admiral nearly choked. "We're going to reward him for fouling up? That doesn't sound right at all."

"Admiral, do consider the following." Wolfs bane smiled. "Would you ever consider taking command of a Lazy Company a reward...even with a promotion attached?"

Admiral Bell made no effort to hide his grimace as he replied. "I...I see your point," he conceded, "but will the lieutenant realize he's being punished? I mean, he's new to the military, he may not know what a Lazy Company is."

"Well then, it is he's job to learn," the colonel said grimly. "So are we in agreement?"

The others nodded in agreement, leaving Colonel Wolfs Bane no other reason to remain. "Then this meeting is adjourned, I shall personally layout the necessary details to our soon to be Captain Down Range, as it were, I also see fit to having his associate, 2nd Lieutenant Iron Lotus increased to the rank of 1st Lieutenant, as I find her level headedness admirable."

"Hey no complaints from me!" Agreed Soarin. "Though...she's got that icy glare that Spits uses...I don't envy anyone getting her on their case!"

"I am also in agreement, from the files I've read, she certainly does have the right to the name Iron." Bell concurred. "If you are handing out the final details of his...punishment. I will need to attend to the airships, and see that we pull out as soon as possible."

"Then it is settled, now if you may, I would like a moments time to consult the sovereigns." Wolfs Bane said. "Seeing as how they were within the bombardment, the two certainly have an interest in the case."

The two officers saluted, and with curt nods, left the meeting room, leaving the Colonel to brood over her next choice of action.

"Caught in it indeed..." she muttered, running a hoof through her blue mane, before tapping a small device. "Send for Lieutenant Down Range and Lieutenant Iron Lotus."

With this decision, made out of desperation, a new chapter would begin for the Equestrian Military, and for Ponyville and its inhabitants. A body needs a spirit, a spirit needs a body, and with this decision, they have been made one, a Lazy Company otherwise known as the Down Rangers of Captain D-Range.

Author's Note:

A fun little exercise in narrative writing to help with my own personal writing for the Roan RPG.
Mistakes might appear, and any pointers, will help me better exercise my literary mind.
I do hope you folks enjoy this!
If you want to know more about Roan, just check out the RoanRPG.com, maybe pick up the book!

Comments

[bahatumay]

It really needs a proofreading sweep; but I'm definitely intrigued.

[Clear_Skies]

7677649 Heya, any pointers towards errors is appreciated! I'm trying not to write down a string of rambling consciousness, so definitely forgive me if things seem a bit jumbled at times!

[Uncle Mike]

Phule's Company expy? I'm intrigued, as well Liked and tracking...

[Quiznak]

All those Rangers...they're D-Ranged.