RainbowDash is practicing a new trick for a certain orange mare.
A bump of heads opens old wounds.
Secrets come out with the help of a little cider
Rarity shows more generosity then she exactly needs to give
one pony will get more then what she was bargaining for
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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The story is quite interesting, but it's completely filled with grammatical errors, some spelling errors and incorrect punctuation. I would heavily consider revising, or getting more help with editing.
Again, the story interests me, but it needs to be about 20% easier to read.
113768 much thanks for the criticism I love to know how I can inprove on my work.
Its already been revised once but another time wont hurt
the main thing i noticed was the ending
"were are you Applejack."
shouldnt it be "Where are you Applejack?"
just pointing that out, besides that, im pretty sure this story will shape up nicely with the proper stuff :D
113856
I feel like a silly pony
Story is shaping up good! Will track an keep an eye on it. Don't listen to the grammar nuts they always comment on that first! But getting someone to help you out too wouldn't hurt neither.
I like the approach you're taking with this story with the injury rekindling an old memory of Applejacks past when she was teased for her speech impediment. Keep it up!