Idol Hooves at A Canterlot Wedding

by Airy Words

Home Life

I decided to try one more time. "There's supposed to be a big party afterward." Maybe she was in a festive mood?

"Not interested."

"Shining and Cadance will be there. Actually, they are the ones getting married."

"Yep. So I heard. Met them before, thanks."

I paused and reflected. "Do you know that you are getting more and more like a changeling every day? You prefer to spend your time underground here in your workshop rather than go out and be social with ponies."

Topaz Showers stabbed a dead beetle through the midsection, forever pinning it to the mounting board underneath. I shuddered involuntarily. No matter how many times I saw this, I could never get used to it.

"I have months of samples I need to organize, categorize, record, and mount. This mandatory vacation day is the perfect chance for me to catch up on my inventory."

I sighed softly. There would be no mandatory vacation day for me. Every Royal Guard soldier was on duty for the Royal Wedding. Add to that the ongoing threat of invasion from a still-unknown source.

Finally, I decided to concede. After all these years, I knew there was no convincing her when she got up to her withers in her research. "I'll come home when they let me go."

"Umm-hmm," replied the mare as she held up a magnifier, studying the wing joints of her newest victim.

While climbing the stairs, I couldn’t bring myself to look forward to the event. I should be happy for Shining Armor and for Princess Cadance, but everything seemed … off. I had been to weddings before and the preparations for this one seemed muted, somehow. The distraction of their beloved Captain of the Royal Guard marrying the even more beloved princess should be creating love in the air to rival the Crystal Empire of legend. Instead, I could taste the undercurrent of fear everywhere. The citizenry was frightened.

Was it their animal instincts warning them of something I could not detect, having not been born a pony? I promised myself to look into this more later. My quest to understand ponykind had been ongoing for twelve years now. This was far from the first time a new perception caused me to go back and re-examine everything I thought I knew.

I used my magic to lift my armor from the ponyform manikin Topaz had gifted me last Hearth’s Warming Eve. She had insisted that draping my armor on a fake pony was somehow better than dropping it in a convenient pile on the floor. Having learned not to eat, burn, bury, or improve her gifts over the years, I dutifully went through the motions of using it, just to keep her happy.

I walked outside just as Celestia raised the morning sun over the horizon. I smiled. At least I was being reassigned from the town wall to the castle proper today, the day of the big event. Maybe there would be good feelings to enjoy there.

“Mr. Hooves!” came a shriek from behind me. My mood dimmed. No good feelings today.

Resigned, I turned around. “What can I do for you, Miss Proper Place?”

She huffed. “That’s Ms. Proper Place and you know it! And why do you think I’m wasting my precious time talking to my lazy neighbor? The same reason as the previous twenty times! Your lawn is not up to code!”

I turned and regarded the strip of earth that ran in front of Topaz’s house. Two strides would cover its length, and I could easily step over its width. Why did ponies make so much fuss over stuff that was so little? It wasn’t entirely brown, but Proper Place had told me in no uncertain terms that weeds do not count. Eating them did not make her any happier, either. I sighed. “I’m sorry. Topaz and I just don’t have any skill at growing anything that is green.”

“You are in violation of the covenants of this subdivision, of which I am the entire Greenery Department! You will get your property in shape or there will be dire consequences!”

“Hey, Idol!” a voice called from the street. I turned and saw Bold Bigflank waving. “We need to get a move on!”

I turned not at all reluctantly to my neighbor. “Sorry, Missus Place, but my duty to the Princesses calls.”

I heard her shouting at my retreating back “It’s Ms. Place! I want to see that yard so verdant that children can’t help but graze on it! I want it so lush that our subdivision gets on the cover of Canterlot Horticulture! Do you hear me?” I wanted to ask how a half-eaten lawn would be worthy of a magazine’s attention, but not enough to slow my pace.

Comments

[Shachza]

hehe

Yes, Idol, the purpose of a gift is so that the giver can see the givee utilizing said gift and thereby feel good about themself.

[heirofaniu]

I knew there is no convincing her when she got up to her legpits in her research

I realize where you're going with that, but "Up to her barrel" would work better.

[Phoen1x]

What can I do for you, Miss Proper Place?

Given the closing exchange, I'm pretty sure this should be 'missus'.

Your lawn in not up to code!

is

[CoffeeBean]

Damn lawn nazis...

[Lord Of Dorkness]

Rather odd author's note...

Still, a strong start. Curious where this is going.

[David Johnston]

7591052 Or just "up to her shoulders". Ponies do have shoulders.

[DiscoPanda84]

Astroturf. Or, for the cheap, green spraypaint from the dollar store. :-P

[keybounce]

I'm curious if Ms. Proper Place has a sister named Park.

After all, Ms. Place is concerned about the park-quality grass, or lack thereof.

[Rudy45]

“Hey, Idol!” a voice called from the street. I turned and saw Bold Bigflank waving. “We need to get a move on!”

Ohhhhhh man, looks like I'm the first person in the comments to notice your A+++++++ MST3K reference!

[Airy Words]

9592351
I can't take credit! That is vdrake77's full name for the stallion as mentioned here.

[XanderK31]

Here I am, finally getting around to the whole Idol Hooves saga (and enjoying the hell out of it), and I'm greeted in the first chapter of this story by one of the things I HATE the most in the world; Home Owners' Associations. Words alone cannot describe how badly I loathe them.

On another note, it's a short chapter but I already know I'm gonna love it!

[Black--Soul]

The main story has recently updates. I wonder how this story will be different from the explaind happenings.

[Perpetually Confused]

9592469
Intrepid Thunder Thighs

Dauntless Rear Anatomical Framework

Valorous Pudge Butt