• Published 22nd Sep 2016
  • 875 Views, 29 Comments

Illicit Snacks - tosety



Human snacks are illegal. Thus, there is now a black market for snack food.

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"Chalk Is Not Love" (by Warpd)

Chrysalis smiled in her disguised form of Princess Cadence. This was the second time using this trick and once again it worked like a charm. A few winks, some strong words, and a glare put any questioning ponies in their place. “Took a long time to get you.”

Alone in the train car with a barrel for company, Chrysalis rubbed the rim of the contraband. “Took a lot of work to acquire you, but as always I pulled through.”

“Love, love, love. You are going to give me Equestria’s heart and soul. Truely, humans have the most insidious gifts. Valentines and Hearts and Hooves Day go together so well.” A wicked grin drew on her pink features. “The princesses forgot that humans have holiday themed sweets.”

“If this is how humans give love to each other, than ponies will be falling muzzle over hooves over this.” Chrysalis purred with sultry eyes as successful love collections played in her mind. “Are you sweet, are you tart, perhaps unique with every piece. Lead away mares, stallions, fillies, and colts to the sweet embrace of love filled candy.”

“I believe humans call it a honey trap.” Chrysalis tempted the lip.

A knock on the cabin got her attention as a young stallion cracked the door. “Hello. Is anyone back here?”

A velvet colored mare answered him. “Hello, just little old me back here. Please come join me.”

“Neat! It was kind of crowded up front with ponies giving me mean looks. I’m Caramel.” A bright smile flashed as he tilted his head.

“I’m Heart Throb. So sorry that you were having trouble up front, but you are more than welcomed to.” Chrysalis remembered that she a sizeable portion of her changelings taking up residence in the other box cars. “Please sit with me.”

“Surprised no other pony are in here.” Caramel sat down in the booth. “Heart Throb, you ok there?”

Heart Throb had the smile Caramel recognized from a mare that wanted something. “I am doing perfect.” Her horn glowed as the lock on the cabin switched to lock. “You, me, all alone.”

Caramel rubbed his forelegs together. “Oh. I see. I dunno. We did just meet. Wow.”

Chrysalis decided to try out her new secret weapon. She brought the candy out from behind and saw it for the first time. The simplicity of the heart shaped candy amused her. “A gift then to warm things up.”
“I’ve never seen this before.” Caramel accepted the gift not aware that he took a forbidden fruit. “Candy with words on it. It says, ‘Kiss Me’. That’s neat, candy with love words on it.”

“Take a bite, then do what it says.” Heart Throb restrained a toothy grin as Caramel popped the candy in his mouth.

Caramel chewed on it once, then slowly. “Do you have a better tasting one?”

“What.” Chrysalis said flatly.

“It’s kind of bad. Yeah, I’m going to need some water to wash that down. Bleh.” Caramel stuck out his tongue.

Chrysalis brought out another heart candy that read ‘Love’. “Defective? Here, try this.”

Caramel hesitated before taking it and biting a tip off. He spat it out. “Nope. That is some horrible stuff. Oh, wait. Sorry, did you make these. Here I am being the cruelest pony around making light of your hard work. I, um, yeah sorry. It’s not very good.”

She brought out another heart candy with ‘For U’, outside the horrible grammar which she ignored she chomped down. “This. This doesn’t taste like love. This isn’t love at all! What is this candy!?”

The entire barrel was taken out as the lid was thrown across the room. “Where did that barrel come from? In fact, how did I not see it before.”

“No. No. No. No!” The disguise melted away as the room wilted from her rage. “I lost contacts, drones, and territory for this. A barrel of..of…”

“Chalk?” Caramel said weakly from under the seat he was hiding in.

He was quite sure that the changeling queen had pupils, but for a brief moment he swore they had disappeared in a blank whiteness. Froth dripped from the corners of her mouth. “Chalk.”

Caramel slinked away, hugging the floor as he crawled. “I’ll be going now. You enjoy that candy.”

<A few hours later>

Princess Celestia watches a report given by one of her best journalists. Moving pictures made things so much easier. “So a few hours ago, we caught the changeling queen roaring in rage on top of the box car holding a barrel over her head.”

“She was throwing a barrel?” Princess Celestia watched as the changeling threw into the desert and blasted it mid flight, showering the land with what appeared to be candy. “I’m going to need some context.”

“This was what we found left from the scene. It appears to be some kind of human candy called Sweethearts.” Celestia picked up the candy offered to her. “Be Mine. Well that’s one way to ask me out.”

“Wait, what?”

“Saturday for lunch sounds good.”