• Member Since 26th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen January 1st

Quantum Mechanic

Quan-tum Me-chan-ics (N): The branch of mechanics that deals with the mathematical description of the motion and interaction of subatomic particles.

Comments ( 35 )

:yay: for Beanie he gonna be plot related :rainbowkiss: Coco beans and Nescolt gonna be so proud.:raritystarry:

Who is Coco Beans and Nescolt? Are they his parents or something?

7687915 YUSSH and word-play :moustache: a cookie if you can figure them out.:duck:

"WHAT'S IN THE FUCKING BOX!" Well that a Snake
*Neck snaps*.

Comment posted by FaNarchy deleted Dec 7th, 2016

Can you try to spread the word about this book to others? I know I might sound like an asshole for asking that... but can you?

It's nice to see a FoE story that isn't littered with typos from the get go. Kudos to you there, sir! I know the pain of trying to write a Fallout crossover and putting your heart and soul into the tale, only to get unexplained hate and downvotes for it. Hence, I hope that my thumb up can help your story achieve what you want it to.

Thank you good sir!

It's a painstaking process all on its own to try to write a story without the need of another person reading it and fixing all of the mistakes so the fact that someone likes the work that's put into it makes me fell good about the story.

I'll see if I can find anything really good to talk about for you with this story, I've read a little and I really like it so far:twilightsmile:, but I'll have to read more into it.

It contains PLOT-tonium the mightiest of fallout bullshit-iums capable of stopping obvious killing blow BECAUSE REASONS!!!

*Rage quits because of the one lvl 5 raider that kills you after half an hour of bullshittery WITH NO AUTO-SAVE.*:flutterrage:

P.s Beanie NOPES the fuk outta there like a boss.:rainbowlaugh:

Don't worry. I'll only use Plot-Onium in very few chapters.

Can the description add a detail about Detrot Michigan, the Stable, or Quantum himself? :twilightsheepish: A description should catch attention with what's unique about the story, and your's just makes me imagine Fallout 1 or Fallout 3 without a set goal.

For example: My fic (which is no longer planned to be an Fo:E because it's lost any reason to be one) is about a virus that corrupts machines and uses them to genocide under the belief that technology should be king, and few have ever fought back against it because all modern arms and memory of spells have been annihilated during the apocalypse. The main duo of the fic have been able to fight back against it with their special firepower that survived the apocalypse, one wielding a Skyrim-esque conjured sword left by her father and the other wielding the last remaining firearms.

Of course, it's only right to give the description information about the conflict and the premise, this is what people will first see about the fic and it should be the written equivalent of a teaser trailer or promotional poster, meant for grabbing attention.

Regardless, it's Fo:E, I'm practically biased for it, into the read-it-later section, it goes. :twilightblush:

If this was YouTube, I'd be saying, "I'M FIRST!"


If I were critically criticizing your critical mistakes...

I would say it's good!

I'm glad you think so. :twilightsmile:
Its really hard to write a story without a proofreader fixing my grammatical or spelling mistakes.

Thanks Ruin. I've waiting to see what you though about it.

Its not shot its shoot GET IT RIGHT PLEZ!

Hey there, Doom here with the newest edition of REVIEW TIME!

I kinda like this way of doing an introduction of the way that the writer are thinking, its kinda like the special feature on certain DVD's where the director introduces the movie, or the foreword in a published book. Its new, it helps prepare the reader for what they are going into, its neat!... and yet does it send shivers down my back with PH being mentioned as possible source material. I know that the fandom is pretty split in the middle about their opinion about PH, and I fall on the side that really despise it, which is quite odd since I actually found it better than the original for a very long while... But yea back on track. If I ever bitch out about you using characters from the other stories, and Celestia have mercy on my soul if any main character is showing up, then see it as a involuntary literately gag reflex that resolves in me having word diarrhoea. Believe you me, it ain't pretty.

So yea, now that I am warned against the possible influence of PH itself, lets get onwards and upwards to infinity and beyond!

Normally do I not read more than one chapter a day, I like my stories like I like my cocoa, in moderate portions and where the sweet aromatic after taste gets its own time to settle in between the tastebuds, but the last one was a short one and this is a short one as well, so lets have a two for one REVIEW TIME special edition!

So lets get down to business... FIRST! Ha, never gets old!

I must say that it was rather refreshing to see the prologue lean closer up against the MLP series with its "Long time ago" instead of the classical Fo" War, war never changes". Now, while it was refreshing must I say that I had hoped for a bit more, a prologue is meant to set the stage, its the literary cover to your story, its whats used to determine your skills as a writer at a quick glance by those lazy, and you did not rally say anything beside "shits fucked up, but not completely". A new reader that haven't read the original, yes I know how crazy it sounds, but I like to look at fanfics as stand alone works for the greater part, would not know heads or tails about what there happened. As things is right now does tour prologue not really say something, so it could just as well be deleted so new readers dosn't have a half empty scene as their first impression. You only get one first impression, looking at your stats can you see that reader attention rates fall in a downwards curve from the first chapter, so do your best to grab them now instead of later, because changes are that with so many other stories that they don't give you the change then.

This is where my pre-reader brain simply have to comment on the smaller things it pick up, call it work damage after pre-reading for almost half a dozen years now.

"Prolauge" Unless it is a deliberately typo should it be Prologue

" in the magical land of Equestria," You ended your sentence with a comma

"One that ravaged and torn the once lush and green utopia that is known as Equestria." With how you started your story just 2 sentences before is it a bit repetitious to use Equestia again like you are

". It was twisted and warped into the grotesque and malevolent horror that it is after 200 years of fermenting in a petri dish of the Wastelands and all of the plagued things that live in it." You have a very long run on sentence here,

"The dominant equine species that owned the land was extinguished in an extinction event of their own making beneath the necrotic green and gold glow of the zebra's balefire bomb." Run on sentence

"but to keep the ponies that were inside in until further notice." Delete

"A story of a pegasus stallion who once lead of humble life as an electrician but soon got himself caught up in a series of events that would not only define himself," Instead of "of" use "the", the sentence is also rather long, and you could put a comma in before but.

I quite enjoyed the story. What a shame it got cancelled.

It is getting its own rewrite. The rewrite will be called Fallout: Equestria - The Grand Architect. I posted a blog post giving my explanation of why I did that here:


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