How to Escape from Tartarus

by The Engineer Pony

Chapter 4 - The Intrusion

Rainbow Dash was bored.

As it turned out, there were very few things to occupy a pony’s time in Tartarus. Once one had taken in the sweeping vista of the vast cavern, discovered that the small plateau on which she sat was rather featureless, and realized that her shackles prevented her from exploring any further, one had effectively exhausted all her entertainment options. Dash had been so desperate for something to do that she had even played a few dozen games of tic-tac-toe with Pinkie Pie. Dash’s competitive nature had been briefly irritated by Pinkie’s strange knack for winning games that should have ended as draws, but even that had faded after her fiftieth loss or so to the pink champion. So Rainbow Dash was left to fidget restlessly and try to ignore the never-ending ruckus that came from the pony next to her.

“So the main problem with trying to escape is that we’re chained to the floor—well, I guess it can’t really be called a floor, since were so high up off the ground, but really, what else would we call it? The floor-that’s-not-really-a-floor-because-it’s-at-the-top-of-a-tower-that-juts-up-from-the-ground-but-isn’t-floating-because-it’s-still-attached-to-the-real-floor? Ooh, we could abbreviate it as the FTNRAFBIATTOATTJUFTGBIFBISATTRF! Oh wait, I already used that name for one of my recipes. I know! We could call it—“

“Pinkie!” Dash screamed.

“Yes, Dashie?” Pinkie asked innocently.

“Be quiet!”

“But how else are we going to plan our daring escape from prison? Unless you can communicate telepathically and never told me.” Pinkie Pie shoved her face right up in front of Dash’s, her eyes peering searchingly into those of her friend. “Are you hiding your telepathic abilities from me?”

Dash reached out a hoof and roughly pushed Pinkie away. “No, Pinkie, I am not hiding telepathic abilities from you. I’m just hiding how I’m strong enough to snap of these chains with my bare hooves.”

“Really?” Pinkie Pie inquired. “Because that would make everything a lot easier.”

With an exasperated sigh, Dash responded, “I was being sarcastic, Pinkie. Besides, why are you worrying about the chains so much? Weren’t you able to, like, ignore them completely when you went over to visit Tirek?”

Pinkie Pie slowly shook her head, a gently condescending smile upon her face. “Silly, that only works if nopony notices. Now that you’ve brought it up, I won’t be able to do it.”

Dash pondered this bizarre claim for a moment. She immediately regretted doing so, and decided to never ask Pinkie Pie about it again.

“Anyway,” Pinkie Pie continued, oblivious to the headache she had just given her friend, “we still need to find a way to get out of these chains.”

“I’ve got an idea!” Pinkie replied enthusiastically.

“Uh, Pinkie?” Rainbow Dash turned to her with an inquisitive look. “You do know you’re talking to yourself, right?”

Pinkie responded with a perplexed shrug. “Don’t look at me. I didn’t say anything.”

“Then how come I heard—“

An excited voice spoke up from behind Dash, cutting her off mid-sentence. “But I am talking to myself!”

A second Pinkie Pie walked up to the two prisoners. No, the pony did not so much walk as bounce animatedly without a concern in the world. Every fiber of the pony’s being vibrated with undiluted delight, her pink mane and coat shimmering with radiant joy. The colorful balloons on her flank completed the picture of cheerfulness. In every conceivable way, this new pony was identical to the one who remained shackled to the ground.

Dash just stared blankly in shock. Wasn’t one Pinkie Pie enough for Equestria? Did they really need a second one? And who knew what havoc two Pinkies could wreak?

Pinkie Pie, though, seemed completely unfazed by the spontaneous appearance of a doppelgänger. She quickly got to her hooves and saluted. “Reporting for duty, Future Pinkie!”

The other Pinkie Pie returned the gesture. “Good to see you again, Past Pinkie!”

“So, what’s new?” the imprisoned Pinkie Pie asked. “Or should I say, what will be new?” Both Pinkies giggled.

“Well, you know that super-top-secret wing of the Canterlot Archives you visited with Twilight when she was trying to find out what her birthday present was?” said Future Pinkie. “It turns out, there’s another copy of the time-travel spell you found there.”

“Ooh!” exclaimed Past Pinkie. “So you were able to use the spell to come back here and perform a daring rescue?”

“Yeah! It turns out that since the spell wasn’t actually cast in Tartarus, it isn’t affected by the magic-disabling field.”

“And how’d you find that out?” Rainbow Dash interjected. “Did you break into the Canterlot Archives just hoping the spell would work?”

“Of course not.” Future Pinkie dismissed the ridiculous claim with a wave of her hoof. “I already knew it would work because I told myself so when I was visited by my future self.”

Dash blinked a couple of times. This was making less and less sense by the minute. She really hated time travel.

A thought occurred to her. “So where’s the future version me? ‘Cause it would be totally awesome if there were two of me here.”

“She’s coming,” said Future Pinkie. A bright rainbow flashed in front of her, and the disturbing crunch of a pony impacting stone at high velocity reverberated throughout the cavern. A rather disoriented blue pegasus picked herself up from an indentation in the ground. “Oh, there she is.”

Future Dash vigorously shook her head for a moment, causing a metal ring clamped in her mouth to jingle. Spitting the ring out onto a rock in front of her, she turned to address Future Pinkie. “Getting the keys from the guards was a cinch. It looked like they were distracted by something, so I just swooped in and grabbed them without being seen.” Then Future Dash noticed her duplicate standing next to her. “Hey, look! It’s me!”

“Finally, somepony who’s as awesome as I am,” Rainbow Dash replied. “I mean, as fun as you are, Pinkie, it’s nice to have someone here who understands coolness.”

“Hey!” retorted both Pinkie Pies simultaneously. After glaring angrily at Dash, the two of them returned to blowing up balloon puppets.

“Anyway, we probably don’t have much time left,” Future Dash said, “so I should probably let you know that—“

A brilliant flash of light interrupted her. Once it had faded, the two ponies from the future had vanished.

“Huh,” commented Pinkie Pie. She picked up the keys and unlocked her chains. “I wonder if the spell purposely cuts ponies off mid-sentence.” She reached over and opened Rainbow Dash’s chains.

As Pinkie was working, a faint noise caught Dash’s attention. Hoofsteps were approaching in the distance.

“Quick! Somepony’s coming!” Rainbow Dash lunged forward. She grabbed Pinkie and took flight, soaring downward into the shadows below their tower. “We can’t let them see we’ve escaped!”

“Uh, Dashie?” asked Pinkie Pie, completely unfazed by abruptly being carried off a cliff. “Are you sure this will keep ponies from figuring out we’re gone?”

Rainbow Dash came to rest, hovering well out of sight from anypony standing above them. It would be impossible for somepony to catch a glimpse of them and realize they had broken out of their chains.

Then Dash realized something important. Something that could jeopardize their whole escape attempt.

“Wait, I left the keys up there.”

Comments

[Kevin Lee]

Pinkie Pie slowly shook her head, a gently condescending smile upon her face. “Silly, that only works if nopony notices. Now that you’ve brought it up, I won’t be able to do it.”

Oh, so that's Pinkie's secret! She has the same powers as Buggs Bunny!

and their escape came just in time for AJ and the others to get caught and locked up for helping RD & PP escape!
Rainbow Dash: "Servers you right, bitch! Now you know how it feels like to be accused of something you didn't do! "

[Misplaced Mage]

s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/53/45/ee/5345eec9e551e3ab0e9f2c05618d69a7.jpg

[superfun]

Will this ever be continued?

[Gyro Pony]

“Of course not.” Future Pinkie dismissed the ridiculous claim with a wave of her hoof. “I already knew it would work because I told myself so when I was visited by my future self.”

The temporal mechanics is strong with this author.

[Alphamon_Ouryuken]

So, how much longer until Twilight gets her ass back from the human world and realizes that she basically fucked over her friends?

[Fluttershylover3]

9099618
Wish it would be