Shit just got real

Okay. Um...I don't want to be see as harsh and mean, but I do want to be critical to this story. I like the idea. I really really do. But it needs some work and an editor. (I would ask for the job, but I have other stories I'm currently editing and I would never get around to it, sorry.)

Here's the deal: One, Cadance is spelled Cadance, not Cadence. Second, There's a giant space at the end of this latest chapter for no reason. Third, I do like how the Wedding is handled for its second part here, since this is basically the second wedding episode in this chapter, but...the Chrysalis backstory felt like filler. Like...you could have still done the same beats without it.

But...I think this is a good prologue over all. (It feels like this is the prologue to the main story) There's a few bumps here and there, but it still works. I also like that not all of Twilight's friends were against her. I like that Fluttershy was there for her, and that Rarity had to interestingly be left behind. Though...wouldn't have Twilight at least listened to Pinkie? It feels like she would've, I can't imagine her being as harsh to her compared to Rainbow and Applejack. I can understand her hating those two.

Overall, not bad. Also, you don't need that giant statement over your short description of the story. You'll just get more downvotes that way. If you need any help with your story though, I'll gladly try and help.

you need an editor man

SHE ASCENDED!!!!
AWESOME!!!

This chapter was painful to read due to the lack of editing and direction it took.

Along with me are a few of the closest persons in my life; Fluttershy, Spike and Flash Sentry along with Angel Bunny. It pains my heart to leave in such a manner but my parents agreed with my decision and thus that is all the confirmation I needed.

None of the three had any purpose or attachment in their lives beyond being friends with Twilight Sparkle so there was no reason to consult with them or their parents nor was there any reason for them to leave notes as Twilight did.

Intense chapter. Great job. I love what you have done here. It was long, but awesome chapter.

Keep going!

I am really sorry for the grammatical errors, I used my phone to do most of the work and didn't know that this would be the result. I can however assure you that chapters are being edited and any future ones will be thoroughly checked before being posted. Again I am really sorry for the inconvenience.

Nice Chapter Cant wait for more!!!

You two have a bond. But alas, this bond will not stop the faith I have in store for you all, thanks your brother's weakening forcefield!".

You probably meant fate.

Just need to clarify does this mean Twilight is an Alicorn now or going to be or not?

7944642 She has ascended

after I ascended to Alicorn Hood

this bond will not stop the faith I have in store for you all

These two bits made me giggle so hard because I just kept picturing this ghetto where the alicorns run gangs and chrysalis is that preacher for the corner church who wants to "take back the neighborhood."

7944561 shhhh, you're ruining my perfect headcannon!

now the story truly starts

7945072 Excuse me Sir.
Do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior....
i.ytimg.com/vi/nYC5fsJufZA/maxresdefault.jpg

7943263 One of the many problems Celestia makes is that she really doesn't learn from her mistakes and tries to hide it. And when force come shove, she reacts horribly to the change. In my opinion she really doesn't understands friendship at all and her views on it are...warped. maybe that's why the Elements don't work for her, the pain caused by Luna's banishment may have twisted Tia's views and concepts on friendship over the 1000 yrs.

7943085 The Crysalis backstory was there to be a catalyst. The moment when Twilight realizes that she's been deliberately kept in the dark by Celestia (or something similar, that's the feel I got from it).

7946043 Eh...I would agree, but Twilight is already against Celestia in this story. But I guess you could see it that way. Good point.

How confusing it was, the bit of backstory about chrysalis is nice to know, i must say that, at multiple time, i felt they were talking over some tea, all the tension of the invasion just vanish in a few line. There is a huge lack of description, of emotion to.
Anyway, i like the direction everything is taking.

Another nice chapter, but you did NOT need that giant blank spot at the end.

7963456 What grammar mistakes are you mainly seeing?

Good riddance. I'm actually glad this Twilight is gone because wow, is she totally unlikeable. Seriously.

I don't want her to make friends with the others again because she doesn't deserve it. Let her rule her own realm and stew in her petty little wounded pride.

8020002
Hey can't blame her for living in a world of cardboard cut-outs. Pretty much every character is unlikeable.

To the author, the story is grammatically correct but the characterisation is piss. Rainbow Dash especially stands out. She just says things. "WOW" holy shit completely out of the blue, it's like you have a cardboard cut-out with a voice box that says something very useless and predictable with the press of a button.

Am I the only one who was bothered by Fancy admitting his 'love' for Rarity in front of his wife?

I'm having a bit of a hard time getting into this, don't get me wrong.
The action and raw emotion is there but the back stories and the reasons for the main 6 to split is fickle at best, I mean sure the invasion could have been avoided if her friends were behind her every step of the way, but it's not like they came out and said she was a lying bitch, so it makes twilight look like a crazy chick with anger problems then someone who has a legit reason to lose their shit.
And then ending the chapter on a cliffhanger like that dosn't put me on the end of my seat it makes me more confused then anything.

Being a Unicorn Flare with magic as your special talent is why your senses have been heightened.

Hmmm... it the flare thing again. You should've explained it in the first chapter.

"Rather pointless, don't you think Twilight? You must feel angry and betrayed for how Equestria has treated you, don’t you agree Twilight?"

The last 'Twilight' should be removed. It flows better without it.

ENOUGH! I WIll NOT STAND IDLY BY AND LET YOU HURT MY SUBJECTS!"

Missed one of these: "

"TSK TSK TSK, wouldn't want to go back to the catacombs now, do you?"

You don't need to capitalize the 'Tsk., everyone'

"........There were only two ponies within Unicornia that opposed this union. Myself and my then coltfriend....Starswirl." Chrysalis paused her story, eyeing the lavender unicorn. She expected her to launch a barrage of questions.

"Wait, that can't be right...Starswirl was friends with the Princesses. How could he oppose their rule?! Not only that, you two were a thing??!!" Twilight asked, suspicious that Chrysalis was lying.

Should be:
"... There were only two ponies within Unicornia that opposed this union. Myself and my then coltfriend... Starswirl." Chrysalis paused her story, eyeing the lavender unicorn. She expected her to launch a barrage of questions.

"Wait, that can't be right... Starswirl was friends with the Princesses. How could he oppose their rule?! Not only that, you two were a thing?!" Twilight asked, suspicious that Chrysalis was lying.
-
There are quite a few mistakes I haven't listed, the bulk being missing spaces and having more than three full-stops.
I also suggest you fix up the dialogue. Everyone seems to be quite OOC.

I shall continue reading, but if you still care about this story, please fix up these early chapters.

I am loving this story of yours.

ENOUGH! I WIll NOT STAND IDLY BY AND LET YOU HURT MY SUBJECTS!" Celestia bellowed, using the Royal Canterlot voice. She began charging her horn, sending a powerful blast of golden magic towards Chrysalis, who quickly lept out of the way, readying a spell of her own to counter Celestia's. But Celestia would not allow her any time to recover, quickly taking to the air with a spread of her majestic wings. Celestia then sent another strong wave of magic towards Chrysalis, this one knocking her through a large stone pillar, causing the debris to fall upon her. Immediately, all the creatures that she had charmed to sit still were set free. Celestia smiled to herself, knowing she had won. She boldly left the air, walking towards the debris that Chrysalis had been knocked through, a move that she would regret dearly. "I am sorry things had to be this way Abacus Cinch, there truly is no redemption for you." she sighed.

Chrysalis on the other hoof, sprung from the debris with a newfound rage. "HOW DARE YOU CALL ME THAT NAME!" Chrysalis cracked, firing at Celestia, who met the spell head on with one of her own. "I will not lose to you again! You already took everything from me, you and that idiot sister of mine." Chrysalis exclaimed, gritting her teeth as she tried to overpower Celestia.

"We tried to show you the light, yet you continued your descent into the Black Arts. You were enslaving ponies Chrysalis! You had to be dealt with!" Celestia shot back, forcing her spell towards Chrysalis. "Platinum Cinch was wise enough not to join you! She helped my sister, Starswirl and I unite Unicornia with the Pegasi and Earth Kingdoms to form Equestria."

"You mean she gave up her title as the next in line for the unicornian throne for a blasted duchess title! I would never relinquish my claim to the throne for the likes of you nor your sister, Celestia!" Chrysalis retaliated, standing her ground.

"That is why when she took the title princess, Platinum was immortalized within the minds of her descendants while you remain a distant nightmare, ready to be forgotten!" Celestia replied coldly, using more power to subdue Chrysalis.

"Forgotten?! When I am done with Equestria, I will definitely be remembered!" Chrysalis pressed menacingly.

"Keep dreaming, it will never come to pass! I will do everything within my power to stop you!"

"That is why I studied more dark magic! By the way, Tirek was such a great teacher. I didn't come here to lose again." With that said, Chrysalis' eyes flashed their swamp green color, eliciting a stronger outpoor of magic from her horn, knocking Celestia into an unconscious state. "You may gain power from the sun Celly, but I have altered my special talent from defense magic to stealing love, which I now take my power from. Now sleep well, little princess, your reign has ended." The Changeling Queen cooed softly, using her black magic to surround the princess, sealing the unconscious Celestia within a large cocoon.

interesting back story on Chrysalis. and Tia. YOU IDIOT!

8313576
Still doesnt excuse them for not even at least checking on this imposter.

Good lord and Moses this part was great! The passion could be felt in the words!

Rarity watched them with her jaw dropped, the reactions of the powerful beings that held domain over the sky was simply unrealistic. Rarity continued to stare before muttering the three words that would shake Equestria forever. “She has ascended.”

Yes she has, and as a Unicorn who's talented in Magic, she will ascend even further!

Also, I have zero sympathy for Applejack and Rainbow Dash! They are by far two of the worst, stubborn, thickheaded, prideful, friends EVER!!!.

Rarity watched them with her jaw dropped, the reactions of the powerful beings that held domain over the sky was simply unrealistic. Rarity continued to stare before muttering the three words that would shake Equestria forever. “She has ascended.”

One, GREAT CLIFFHANGER!
GOD YOU MADE THIS INTO A PAGETURNER!
AH!
Two, the sentence she has ascended, make its sound like the sentence "she has ascended to a higher plain " or "she is now god" when you take into factor that she is, a demigod

derpicdn.net/img/2014/10/27/751660/full.png Hey wait a second I just realize something there are six infinity stones and six elements of harmony; the power stone and the elements of magic are both purple, the soul stone and the element of honesty are both orange, the element of loyalty as well as the reality stone are both red, and the rest of the stones and elements are different colors ,although with this many similarities, is this a coincidence? I think not.

(Edit: I went by the color of the stones in the movie, but in the comics, The elements of harmony and the infinity stones are exactly the same colors as each other.)

(Edit #2: I’m sorry. This was entirely off topic, keep up the good work please!!!)

Rarity watched them with her jaw dropped, the reactions of the powerful beings that held domain over the sky was simply unrealistic. Rarity continued to stare before muttering the three words that would shake Equestria forever. “She has ascended.”

Fuck yah!
Fuck you Celestia!

7945784
Considering she been on top so long i don't even think she has friends. After all how many people would get close to the person in charge of the country.

"Aren't you a little too Fancy to be playing the hero?" Chrysalis chuckled at Fancy Pants, who was using all of his strength to hold together a force field to protect himself and his friends from Chrysalis's barrage of spells.

Really? Just, really?

Rarity watched them with her jaw dropped, the reactions of the powerful beings that held domain over the sky was simply unrealistic. Rarity continued to stare before muttering the three words that would shake Equestria forever. “She has ascended.”

Well that was fast.