Shadows Within the Light

by Oddling

9 - In Darkness... Truth

Moonlight drenched the room. A soft breeze pushed through the open window on the far wall, gently caressing the skin of the human who stood motionless. His gaze was fixed to a spot, just in front of the window. Disbelief dominated his features, and a slight pink blush still lingered on his cheeks. The blush had been there for quite some time, constantly fueled by the laughter of a voice within the depths of his mind.

Without thinking about it beforehand, he licked his lips, which forced his brain to stop functioning yet again. His blush deepened and he shut his eyes, slowly building up pressure as he ground his teeth together. He took in a long deep breath, held it for ten seconds, then let it slip out through his nose. He opened his pale blue eyes again, calming his nerves steadily.

He repeated the breathing exercises until he felt sufficiently stable. He turned his attention to the, now giggling, voice within. That was not funny, he thought to Nightmare Moon.

Nightmare disagreed, doing her best to quell her snickering as she replied, “Oh, I think it was. At least we weren’t fully bound, it might have been quite strange for me to have felt my daughter’s lips on my own. Still, that marks one of your previous concerns off of the list… she’s as immortal as you are,” Nightmare remarked coyly.

Mathew sighed heavily, something he was beginning to think was too common for him recently. Not even a quarter of a century old and he was feeling as aged as a grumpy old man – all he needed was poor eyesight, a dying lawn, and annoying children making a ruckus on his front gate to finish the ensemble.

Forgive me for lacking your enthusiasm. I wish I hadn’t seen her eyes when she… did that. Still, nothing changes, so let’s get back to business. He said and steeled his resolve. What do I do to complete this bond with you? he asked.

Nightmare’s giggling stopped immediately. She was mildly shocked at his decision to go through with the process. Her mood sobered up quickly and she addressed him firmly. “I trust that you are prepared for the consequences of this act. Once the process begins… there will be no stopping it,” she cautioned.

Mathew did not hesitate. I know. Tell me.

The embodiment of darkness hesitated for a few moments. Her confidence was still strong, but she could not help but feel even the slightest apprehension toward what could happen. Still, she knew it had to be done. She put her faith in the resilience of her partner. “Very well, Mathew,” she said in a tone of finality.

Mathew suddenly felt his consciousness shift and he found himself floating in the abyss of his inner mind. The familiar motes that were his memories drifted along in the void around him. Nightmare Moon’s black Alicorn form slipped into existence in front of him. He stared into her slitted turquoise eyes even as her starry mane bled out behind her. “Are you ready, Mathew?” she asked one last time.

Mathew nodded as he held his gaze firmly with hers. She nodded in return and her eyes unfocused as an emerald green aura erupted from her body and engulfed everything around them. Her eyes refocused on Mathew just a second before the turquoise pools were consumed in pure white energy.

Every one of his senses started to tingle and vibrate. Mathew’s mind became a buzz with activity, but he held a firm grasp of his sense of self all the while. Then he heard Nightmare’s words, which came from within him and from all around. “Step forward, Mathew… take what you desire of me, give unto me your everything, and become as one with that which is pure shadow. Let us become one, in mind and soul, and make us our own,” she said.

Mathew hesitated for half a second, and then moved forward with his hand outstretched. His hand touched her chest, and their forms melted together, like warm and cold water pouring into each other. He felt her flowing into him, just as he slipped into her, only he felt like the hot water as he naturally rose to overlap her. He wondered about how that happened so easily, only to find the answer come right to him as if he knew all along. The one who moved into the other, that was to say, the one that made the dominant move was the one to rise above the other’s mentality.

Without even noticing, his body continued to move into Nightmare’s, his form acting instinctively to reach out and bring hers into his. At the same time, more of his mind filled with Nightmare Moon’s. He saw her beginning, the day a star had collapsed at the very same instant a stray ley line of pure magic passed through it, exploding in an array of brilliance that formed the body of the dark entity. After an unknowable passage of time, he felt the formless essence gain sentience, where it began to learn and grow. Countless worlds passed by, many civilizations were birthed before her watchful gaze, where they grew, prospered, and faded into oblivion.

He met many others like her, beings of pure power and creation, some followers of life while others delighted in taking it. He met a being of creation, far older than she, who had made yet another bland ball of dirt out of sheer boredom. He met another entity of creation, one that spread her essence onto that bland rock and shaped life upon it into something beautiful. He shared in her joy of life created, adding her own wonder to its shadows, and befriended the Life Giver.

He watched, side by side with her close friend, as their creations grew and lived joyfully on their little ball of prosperity. He felt the love that Nightmare experienced with what she had placed parts of her self into. Then he experienced the joy at being offered a helping hand in creating something more beautiful, the offer from the old creator to feel the gift of being a true mother to a life just like the ones she watched on the spinning ball of happiness she helped create.

The memories started to become clearer. Emotions became stronger, more pronounced, and sensations took on a more substantial effect on Mathew. He felt the gift be placed within Nightmare's womb, the growth of the life within her, and the birth of her daughter… Luna – given her name because of the very first thing that Nightmare Moon had created for that planet.

Mathew then went through the worst of Nightmare’s experiences in her life… the betrayal of her daughter’s father – quickly followed by the loss of her closest friend. The unbearable finality of it was beyond mere words. Everything Nightmare had known and loved had shattered before her like so many lost worlds in the past, but had happened in such a way that it was like watching the thinnest pane of glass crumble from the single hair that touched it.

Mathew watched, through Nightmare’s eyes, as her daughter grew up beside her half sister, Celestia. It took her many years to notice it, but she soon came to realize that Celestia had been witness to what Nightmare had done to her only friend – the one who gave birth to Celestia. Mathew saw the hatred that boiled beneath the surface of the future sun princess – the very same hatred that pushed the young white unicorn to ascend into an Alicorn. Celestia then guided Luna onto the same path, though coxed her younger sister with more pleasant methods.

As Celestia and Luna grew, Nightmare watched over them from the darkness of the world. She saw the races of ponykind develop and change over time. Hundreds of years passed, and magic formed the life on Equus into the building blocks of Equestria. Celestia and Luna grew large enough, and soon took their first steps into the world of pony kind. The two unique Alicorns quickly became revered for their strength and wisdom, becoming the anchor for Equestrian life. The two young Alicorns utilized their unique powers, the gifts they had been given by their mothers, and took full control of their charges. It was not long after that, that Nightmare saw the division between the two sisters take form.

Celestia gave the land its warm sun, which let life on Equus prosper with her power of life and light. Luna… tried to share her gorgeous night, which rejuvenated the world and let life regain its strength through her soothing moonlight. Ultimately, the very ponies that the sisters had sought to please, started to show favor for the sun princess. Celestia took in the love of her subjects, basking in their joyous lives and sharing in their happiness. She started to see to their needs, spreading her life giving warmth across all of Equus, falling into her role as their princess. Luna was soon left alone in her night, neglected by her little ponies and brushed aside by her beloved sister.

It hurt. The ache in Mathew's heart, as he watched Luna slip further into her own self-induced depression - alone each night and left to sulk in the shadows of the day. The Alicorn sisters were thousands of years old by then, but their minds were still in the developmental stages of young adults. They had taught themselves, since their younger years of life had made them outcasts for being different, until they met with Starswirl the Bearded – but he was merely a mentor and far from a parental figure for them. The signs were clearly evident, and Mathew finally understood how the sisters had degraded to what was coming soon.

Being young, inexperienced, and easily influenced by their childish tendencies, it was no surprise when Mathew saw Luna play herself into the darker sides of her heart. Petty misplaced jealousy and regret slowly shaped her, driving her further into her own despair, until Nightmare could bear it no longer. Acting on her motherly instinct, Nightmare reached out to her daughter and tried to help her without hurting the world. The small gift, the tiny fraction of essence that Nightmare offered her daughter, was taken with willing hooves… and then corrupted by the young moon princess’ emotions.

Mathew watched as Luna’s limited powers of creation and control of the night combined with her embers of jealousy and hatred, and turned Nightmare’s essence into the embodiment of immature want and need. Everything else fell into place from that moment on. Luna went on the offence, threatening the world in a mislead attempt to be recognized, and was sent to the moon by Celestia and the Elements of Harmony.

It was slightly ironic, when Mathew thought about it. Celestia and Luna had found the Elements of Harmony, with the aid of Starswirl the Bearded, and others like him. The two sisters had fought together against many foes, like Discord and King Sombra, yet the very things that had bound them together so strongly had been used to force them apart. For the first time since Nightmare’s memories had started flowing into him, Mathew wondered why that had been the case. Luna’s Nightmare was banished to the moon when Celestia used the Elements… yet a thousand years later, Twilight and the other five mares had been able to strip her of the tainted gift instead.

Mathew thought about it for a long while. Then he realized he could think on his own again, and set aside his pondering to reestablish his sense of awareness. He found his form floating in a new place. It was very similar to where he had started off, but a slight blue hue tinted the void around him, and there was a distinct steady pulsing. There were no memory orbs there. Instead, there seemed to be faint misty clouds, barely noticeable in the space around him.

"Nightmare?" he called out. He repeated his call a few times, before a patch of shadow extended out from his chest to form into her appearance. When she fully formed, he could tell she was tired. The poor mare’s eyes could hardly stay open and her posture was very slouched, her legs trembled as she struggled to hold her body up. Mathew knew the only thing keeping her up was her pride. Her eyes gave him the silent plea, asking him what he wanted.

Mathew quickly moved to her and slowly helped her lay down. He was surprised at how physical she felt to his touch. When she had been lowered into a comfortable position, she nuzzled his side in an act of thanks. She was out of breath, and Mathew had a feeling she would barely have the strength to speak. He sat down beside her and gave her something to lean against.

“I take it everything went smoothly enough?” he asked her quietly.

Nightmare nodded. “You now have… my whole being… in your possession,” she said between breaths.

Mathew nodded and let a small sigh of relief escape him. He started to pick up on her feelings and subtle thoughts, which seemed to grow stronger as time ticked by. Eventually, he started to hear the answers he wanted, as they shared their thoughts with each other. It was far more relaxing than it had been before. He even noted that having such a closeness with her made things vastly more convenient. After ensuring that she was well enough, and that everything would be all the better after some rest, Mathew let his mind slip away into sleep.

~~***~~

The rays of the sun pulled Mathew from his slumber. His eyes flitted open and he saw the world in a whole new way. Every surface was laced with the very essences of creation, the magic that bound the world together like glue, sinew, or mortar greeted his vision like Pinky Pie’s party cannon going off. He pushed his body up from the floor, realizing that he had completed the bond with Nightmare while he was standing in the middle of the room.

He blinked a few times, and the magic vision faded back into a more normal veil of sight. He could still see the magical flow around him, but it was more like a very faint layer, like a watermark on a twenty-dollar bill. Mathew quickly made his way to the nearest mirror. Much to his relief, his appearance had stayed the same as he had last seen. The only difference was that he could also see his own magical aura. The snaking, numerous, clusters of magic lines that passed through his body reminded him of the visual examples he had seen of his nervous system in science class – only there were at least twice as many paths for his magic to flow through.

The core of his magic, the literal heart of his power, was a calm swirl of light blue power… with an apple sized inner core of pure black. He wondered if that was how his power looked before, to which he felt Nightmare’s memory show him that Twilight could not see past the outer magic, and that it had stayed the same. He sighed, relieved that he could keep up his previously established appearance.

His mind felt just slightly sluggish as he looked around the room again. It was to be expected, since his mind had run a hypothetical marathon that night. He shrugged and walked to his personal bathroom to shower. He gingerly washed himself, taking a few moments to admire the curious enchantments of the water system and scrutinize the clearly feminine citrusy aroma of the shampoo, and then went through the rest of his usual preparation. Once properly freshened up, and changed into a fresh set of clothes, he left the room.

Mathew wandered around the castle, not really having a particular destination in mind. He knew his body needed no food, unless his magical power had been drained substantially, plus he was not hungry. The books he had wanted to read on some magic spells had become useless when he inherited Nightmare’s vast collection from her memories – only incomplete spells from Starswirl’s personal collection remained among his currently unknown spells – among the latest ones that had yet to be discovered.

He spontaneously recalled his old gaming friend… he could hear his voice now, “Man… you’ve become a totally Over Powered class with max stats… lame dude, there’s no fun when you can do everything.”

Mathew chuckled at that. It felt good to laugh again, even if it was over something small. Further ahead, one of the doors opened into the hallway, revealing the little purple and green dragon, Spike. The little guy was carrying a rather tall stack of books, which he seemed to be having just a pinch of difficulty balancing.

Mathew reached out with his hand and let his magic take half of the stack. “Looks like you could use a little help there, Spike,” he said with a friendly smile.

Spike noticed the weight of his burden become lighter and looked at his helper with a thankful beaming grin. “Gee, thanks, Mathew. That stack was kinda heavy.”

Mathew chuckled and gestured to the floating stack he had. “So, where do these puppies go? I’m a little bored right now, so I’ll help you deliver these,” he offered.

“That’s great! Follow me, these are just a few things Twilight wanted me to bring her. Looks like she’s really aiming to brush up on some things to get you more comfortable with your magic,” Spike said with slight gusto. He seemed to show quite the fair bit of enthusiasm for his caretaker’s desire to help the human out.

Mathew smiled warmly as he followed spike, though he felt a little bad on the inside knowing that Twilight’s efforts were going to be wasted. He glanced at the stacks of books, checking their titles. They all had something to do with beginner level magic to highly advanced, especially the two books that covered the basics and mid-level healing spell casting. He had to give the purple Alicorn credit; she was quite thorough in her selection of reading materials.

Since they had a ways to go, Mathew decided he’d strike up small talk with the young dragon. “I gotta say, for your size, you have quite a bit of lifting power. Holding eleven of these thick books was impressive,” he said, figuring the best ice-breaker would be a word of compliment for the prideful little guy.

Spike responded perfectly, stiffening his arm muscles and puffing out his chest. “Of course, it’s a skill I’ve developed as Twilight’s number one assistant. I remember back when she gave me a huge book, like it was as big as a pony, and it was heavy, but over the years I’ve only gotten stronger,” he boasted, smiling broadly and flashing his little fangs.

Mathew chuckled softly. “That’s good. It means you’ll keep growing stronger. I’m curious, did Twilight tell you anything about me, yet?” he asked.

Spike nodded and hummed his response. “Oh yeah, you came from a world without magic, right?”

“Yeah. No magic, no ponies (well, not like the ones you know), no gryphons, minotaurs, or dragons. In my world, all of you are just mythical beings and magic is simply a neat illusionary trick,” Mathew replied.

Spike gave a low whistle and he glanced at Mathew over his shoulder. “Wow. It must have been tough in a world like that. How are things going for you here in Equestria?” he asked.

Mathew grinned at the little guy, slowly finding the flow of the conversation to be relaxing in a way. “Eh, it wasn’t as easy, being in a world without magic, but we humans used our smarts to fix our problems. As for life here in Equestria… it’s been pretty good, if a bit rough at times,” he admitted.

They talked a bit more, simply making more small talk, until they arrived in front of Twilight’s throne room – the very place he had told the Elements of Harmony about what brought him to their world. Spike casually opened the door, Mathew hesitating for a moment before he followed in behind.

Twilight was not there, which was slightly surprising to Mathew, but also a small relief. It became apparent, though, that she was nearby. Spike had continued toward the far side of the room, heading for another set of doors. Mathew knew Twilight was in the next room. He could see her magic at work. The sight was impressive, and alluring in its own way. Mathew had always felt magic around his new body, but seeing it being used was breathtakingly beautiful.

Somehow, even to his own surprise, Mathew had not stopped to gawk at the new visual ahead of him. He had naturally taken his place behind Spike as the little assistant had progressed through the room. Mathew quietly thanked Nightmare for gently coaxing him along and preventing an awkward moment.

Mathew opened the doors for Spike and they walked into the chaotic mess of Twilight’s most recent study binge. She had been quite the busy little mare, as Mathew noticed dozens of books left out across the room, along with many scrolls and notes. From what he could see, at a glance, the purple Alicorn had been getting concentration formulas and mental exercises squared away. Despite his personal feelings about what he had overheard the night before, he was glad that Twilight had taken so much time to plan out his lessons.

Twilight did not take long to spot Spike, since he had a stack of books in hand, but she was clearly startled when she saw Mathew holding the rest of the books in his magic. “Oh, Mathew, you look uh… your magic feels different this morning,” she said with a curious tone.

Mathew smiled kindly and gestured to the floating books he held. “Yeah, I kind of came to terms with a few things last night. I did a considerable amount of thinking after, well, after the discussion. I feel… more at ease with my magic, I guess. Plus, I wanted to see if using it more would help with my predicament,” he said and then glanced at all the notes around the room. “Looks like you already spent a lot of time getting things for me. I’d like to look over them, when you have the time, but I’m not in any rush.”

Twilight smiled at him, a genuine one at that. “I’ll have the notes ready within the hour. I’ve actually found a few things that could help with my own magic, so it’s actually better that I decided to get a lesson planned out for you. I hope you don’t mind a little studying,” she said with a cheery grin.

Mathew chuckled. “Normally I don’t study for anything. In this case, though, I think I will. It’d be rude of me to ignore the time and effort you’ve put into it so far,” he said.

Twilight laughed at that and shook her head. “I wouldn’t mind if you said no to the idea. I’ve had to accept that not everypony is willing to devote their time to study… Applejack and Rainbow Dash are perfect examples – they hate trying to cram written knowledge into their heads,” she said jokingly.

Mathew sighed happily and looked over another stack of books nearby. “Well… to be perfectly honest, I’m a better learner when it comes to visual demonstrations. Like the other week, I had made my own barrier in the magic class, but I had created it after watching the other students make theirs. Sadly… by copying it like that, improving the areas where I saw them make mistakes, and modifying my own spell after that… it lead me to make the barrier too strong,” he said, a hint of embarrassment tugging at his expression.

Twilight quickly made the connections in her head. “So that was when you had injured yourself, when you said you had blown off your arm?”

Mathew nodded, rubbing his arm and remembering how much it hurt. Of course, that was when he had met with Nightmare Moon, so he could not help the tiny smile on his face when he remembered. “I’ll never forget that moment. One thing I think you should know about my body, Twilight, is that it may heal from any injury, so long as there is enough magic in me, but I still feel the pain of each wound. When I lost focus on that beam spell… it taught me the greatest lesson of all,” he paused to look into Twilight’s eyes. “Magic is a wonderful thing, but it deserves the utmost respect. Since you’re the Princess of Magic, I want you to know that I truly respect you. I know we didn’t start off on the best of terms, but I hope we can be good friends,” he smiled.

Twilight looked deeply at his eyes for a few moments and returned the smile. “I think we’ll be great friends. And thank you for helping Spike bring me those books,” she said.

“Yeah, thanks again for that, dude,” Spike said from another part of the room. The number one assistant had already moved on to tidying up Twilight’s mess while they had talked.

Mathew grinned and set the stack of books, still floating in his magic, near the rest that Spike had placed on a nearby table. He looked back to Twilight and smiled warmly. “So, since I have nothing else to do, mind if I hang around and help out?” he asked.

Twilight beamed and nodded. “I don't mind at all.”

Author's Note:

Chapter 9! This one was one of my favorite chapters to write. I enjoyed my little backstory of how Nightmare came to be. I just hope the way I wrote it was acceptable... every time I read this one I interpret it a different way (and each time I get it... or think it needs work).

In any case, I hope you all enjoyed the read.

Comments

[Auron Solaris]

Enjoyable story, eagerly awaiting more!

[Doctor_Den]

to be honest I expected more details in the backstory of Nightmare Moon. For example, I would like to see in more detail the moment when she killed Celestia's mother and more descriptions of their father.