Shadows Within the Light

by Oddling

14 - Closure

Mathew scanned his surroundings, picking through his memory. He had no idea how he had escaped Equestria, but he had managed to get back to his hometown. After running a short ways, he found he was on the corner of Whicker and Red Stone Street. That put him roughly ten minutes away from his home. The instant he realized home was so close, he remembered how worried he had been for his father’s health and he booked it down the road.

He sped through the streets like his life depended on it, passing a few random people who seemed to not care about his rapid pace. It did not take long before Mathew’s feet brought him to the edge of his driveway. His truck was on the dirt patch beside it, which gave Mathew a sense of relief – he really loved that truck. His eyes trailed over to his home. The lights were off, which made sense since it was probably very early in the morning.

Mathew swallowed nervously. He knew his father hated late night wake up calls, but it was also worrisome that seeing Mathew at the door might give the old man a great enough shock to give him a heart attack. He had been in Equestria for nearly two months. As far as most were concerned, someone who vanished without a trace was as good as dead if they weren’t found after two weeks. He shook his head and set his sights on the front door. No matter what, he had to see his father – he had to let the old man know that he was still alive and well.

With determination behind every step, Mathew walked right up to the door. He only hesitated for a second before he lifted his hand and swung his knuckles three times. His eyes widened when he watched his hand pass through the surface. “What the hell?” he asked, but no sound came from his mouth. If it were not for the sounds of the crickets and the owl in the distance, he would have been certain he was deaf. He tried to speak once more only to have the same soundless result.

He quickly dismissed his curiosity of his muteness to focus on his hand. Mathew extended his hand out and watched it pass right through the door, up to his elbow. There was no sensation from the act, not even a change in temperature, which made him realize he had not felt the normal nip in the air that he should have noticed. It seemed that Mathew might not have made it back home in the sense he originally thought.

This is like that vision I had before… but it’s less intense. I wonder how much of this is real, Mathew thought as he took a few steps to pass through the door. The experience was unnerving, not because of what he felt, but the absence of it. The logical portion of his brain tried to respond to his passing through the object, almost creating a faux phantom feeling, but he was able to relax once he had emerged on the other side.

Mathew looked around the familiar layout of the place. He stood in the small entryway, which branched off into the formal dining room to the right, the kitchen strait ahead, and the den on the left. Silently, he made his way into the den, aiming for the stairs that led to the upper floor, but he came to a stop just past the doorway. The furniture was covered in sheets. The silence started to fade into a low ringing noise as Mathew’s heart beat quickened.

He dashed through the room and flew up the stairs in a blur. His only thought was getting to his father’s room – he had to see that room! He cleared the top step and then shoved his body through the wall. His father’s room was empty, save for more covered furnishings. The closet was empty of clothing and the pictures of Mathew and Alex were gone from the walls and the nightstand.

Denial and rejection were the first things to swell within Mathew’s chest. He tried, but failed, to convince himself that what he was seeing was fake. For a long time, he simply stood there, half in the room, and he stared at the bed. He wanted it all to be a dream – a figment of his imagination. The reality of it soon hit him, when a familiar, and highly unwanted voice came from a dark corner of the room.

“Mathew?” Nightmare Moon asked quietly, cautiously.

Without looking away from the covered bed, Mathew replied. “This isn’t like the glimpse we saw before, is it? This is real. My father… he’s…” he clamped his eyes shut in anger and pain, unable to say the last word.

Nightmare’s form slipped free from the shadows and she took a few steps toward the foot of the bed. She eyed the covered furniture of the room with a deep sorrowful frown etched onto her muzzle. As she turned her gaze to Mathew, her throat tight. There were many things she wished to say, anything to comfort her partner, but she feared what would come if she said the wrong things. She cast her gaze toward the small window nearby to quickly gather up her courage.

“This… is your world,” Nightmare said slowly. “What you see is as it truly is… and I am so very sorry.”

Silence filled the room for a long time. During that silence, Nightmare Moon could feel the raging emotions radiate from Mathew’s body. But, as with all emotions, the important ones won out and Mathew’s deep shuddering sigh broke the quiet. “So…” he croaked. “My father really did die. Th-there’s nothing left for me here – on Earth – nothing to return to.”

Nightmare returned her gaze to Mathew as tears threatened to fall from her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly.

“I don’t forgive you!” Mathew instantly retorted, his voice laced with his pain. “Just… just tell me how to leave this place – this vision.”

Nightmare Moon bit back any words she wanted to say. She knew better than to speak to Mathew in his current state, so she simply gave him a small nod and let her magic take hold of both of their forms. Within moments they found themselves floating within Mathew’s mind, which had taken on a colder feeling. Mathew wasted no time and began walking away from Nightmare, heading deeper within the depths of his conscience.

Nightmare was surprised by the act and quickly turned to ask him what he was doing, but just as she laid her eyes on his back she was forced back. Darkness overtook her for a few seconds. Then, her world came alive with the familiar smells of the Apple Family Farm. Nightmare opened her eyes slowly, a groan escaping her as a very uncomfortable sensation made itself known along her back. Her vision cleared and Nightmare tensed upon seeing Applejack’s face, just inches from her own.

Applejack’s eyes went wide as she noticed the turquoise slits of Mathew’s eyes. She pulled away and stared warily at him, unsure of just how unsafe the turn of events had made the situation. “Nightmare Moon? What happened – why are you tha one in control?” she asked.

Nightmare blinked, then blinked again, before comprehension dawned on her. Her eyes darted around to take in her surroundings – noting she was in control of Mathew’s body and that the discomfort she felt was due to the tree at her back. She then proceeded to try to contact Mathew… only to be subjected to a ping of pain in her head. Mathew had blocked her out, a mass of emotional turmoil barring her way into their mental realm.

Nightmare Moon could only stare, eyes unfocused, as she tried to process her predicament. After many long moments she eventually registered that she had been asked a question. Applejack had visibly become wary of her, but had stayed close, a look of worry betraying her suspicion. So, Nightmare was left with one option. “It would seem… something happened,” she answered Applejack vaguely.

A sigh escaped Applejack as she rolled her eyes. “Obviously, but what, exactly, happened?” she asked.

Nightmare Moon thought for another moment. “It seems that Discord helped Mathew to realize a part of his own ability,” she paused, hesitant to say more. “Unfortunately… it led to Mathew… witnessing something very unfortunate.”

Applejack’s ears perked up and she leaned forward to listen intently.

Nightmare sighed softly, turning her gaze up to the night sky. “Mathew saw what has become of his old home… back in his world. The results of his absence… did not bode well for his remaining family.”

Applejack’s heart sank at that. She had talked with Mathew about his concerns regarding his elderly father. There was no way for her to know how to react to the news, but something still bothered her. “So… why did ya take over his body? Why isn’t Mathew the one in control?” she asked softly.

Nightmare Moon was silent. Her gaze slowly drifted down until she looked into Applejack’s eyes – tears slowly forming in her own. “Mathew is grieving. He forced me out in order to do so. If I had to hazard a guess… he most likely did so in order to be alone. All I can sense is his pain and anguish – his thoughts elude me,” Nightmare said solemnly.

“Ah see…” was all Applejack could say in response. Part of her was unsure of the whole situation, but Nightmare’s truthfulness could not be disputed. If anything, it was the dark being’s own uncertainty that made things more difficult. Seeing Nightmare Moon, the once feared entity of the night, so lost and pained made for quite the sobering experience.

After a small eternity of silence, Applejack took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She locked her gaze upon Nightmare and offered a small smile. “Ah guess that means you’ll be stuck with us… until Mathew calms down. Ah’m also willin’ ta bet yer plum tuckered out,” she paused for the briefest of moments before she spoke what was on her mind next. “Want ta head back to tha house and rest up?”

Nightmare wiped away the few tears that had fallen down her body’s cheeks and looked off into the distance as she contemplated. Part of her screamed at her to accept, but the more cautious side of her told her to stay away from the others. She sighed and shook her head. “I will have to decline,” she said quietly. “There is little comfort in the thought of being near the others. I will stay out here… though not against this tree.”

The shadows beneath Nightmare darkened further and rose up, lifting her away from the ground into a standing position. It took a moment for her to get used to the motion, what with it being strange yet familiar having experienced a human body through Mathew’s memories. Still, she managed to maintain her balance with little trouble. She suddenly remembered how Luna looked, standing on her hind legs and a smile fell upon her face… only to tremble a moment later as a sob threatened to tear its way through her very being. Moisture quickly collected in the corners of her eyes as a deep sorrow filled her heart.

Applejack took notice of the sudden change in Nightmare’s condition and a feeling of genuine concern took hold. “Nightmare? Are ya alright?” she asked cautiously.

“No! I haven’t been ‘alright’ for centuries!” Nightmare snapped. “My heart has ached for so long and I’ve gone and committed yet another horrible mistake on the only one that had enough compassion to help me mend it!” a shuddering breath escaped her and she paused to sniff and rub her eyes. “Forgive me, young Applejack… I’m not in the best mindset at the moment – I did not mean to lash out at you – you did not deserve that,” Nightmare amended quietly, her voice as fragile as a thread of glass.

The orange farmpony was silent. Any prefabricated ideas of the old Nightmare Moon were shattered for her in that instant. Standing before her was not the great evil that had once threatened to consume the entire land in eternal night, no… the person before her was merely a mother, struggling to make her heart whole once more.

Applejack sighed, fighting back the pain of her own heart. “Are ya sure about not wanting to head back? Ah don’t feel right just leavin’ ya alone like this,” she whispered.

Nightmare took a few quiet moments to calm herself before she turned her moist gaze to the little pony beside her. She looked deeply into Applejack’s eyes, weighing the options. Then she gently shook her head. “Nay… it would be best not to disturb the others with our… my form. I have given you all enough to fear. Instead, I shall simply enjoy this night… alone. Please do not worry for me, and know that Mathew will return to you… when he is ready. I just hope that you continue to support him in his time of need,” she answered calmly.

Applejack’s shoulders deflated a little, but she nodded her head nonetheless. “Alright, ah get it. Will ya still be around the farm, at least? Ah’d feel a might bit better knowing where ta find ya, if’n we needed to,” she asked gently.

Nightmare nodded slowly. “Yes. You will find us by the grassy fields near the northern orchard. Mathew had enjoyed that place… maybe the scenery will help ease him… I hope,” she paused for a moment, then turned away from Applejack. “Good night, Applejack,” Nightmare said and walked away.

~~***~~

The first rays of the dawning sun washed over the nearby hills. They landed upon Mathew’s body, stirring Nightmare from her less than restful slumber. Her eyes crept open, revealing the lush green grass of the field. She lifted her head up, followed by her upper body, and she quickly made a note to remember how comfortable the grass was there. Her slight smile soon vanished, though, as she remembered her dreamless night.

Nightmare still could not reach Mathew. His emotions had leveled out, but there was a firm mental block that held Nightmare outside. She deeply desired to meet with him, if only so that she could prostrate herself before him and offer her heartfelt apologies – regardless of whether or not he accepted them… not that she expected him to forgive her. She knew, all to well, that she had given Mathew nearly the exact same reason to hate her that Celestia had.

Suddenly, her vision darkened and she found herself in front of a very upset Mathew. His eyes were cold as stone, filled with anger, and fixated upon her own. On any other day, Nightmare would have felt slightly intimidated, but there was a seemingly volatile ball of power bubbling behind Mathew’s gaze that made him feel like he were just as close to being a deity to her as Celestia herself.

Mathew slowly brought his hands up and crossed his arms, slightly tilting his head to the side. “I won’t be giving you my forgiveness for some time, Nightmare,” he said firmly. “But I know you never meant for it to happen. And, in a way, I’m partly to blame. I could have tried harder to get home… but I, instead, allowed my fear and uncertainty to compel me not to for these past two months,” he paused for a moment, as if he was about to consider saying something else, but he held his tongue instead.

Nightmare Moon took the silence as a cue, and she dropped her front down to one knee, bowing as low as she could. Yet, before she could even begin to speak her words of lament, she found herself lifted into the air by a tendril of pale blue magic. The next instant found her face to face with her partner. She flinched as one of his hands came up, but that did not stop him from cupping her cheek in his palm.

Mathew looked deep into the turquoise slits of his partner and his anger slowly faded. “I already know how sorry you are,” he said softly, “but it won’t change the past. It… hurts… knowing that he’s gone. I know I’m going to miss him for some time, but I had already been under the impression he was gone. It was just… seeing it… it had an overwhelming finality to it,” he stopped to let the tightness in his throat dissipate while fresh tears made their way down his cheeks.

Nightmare simply sat there, watching him, while her heart grew heavier. Her head started to lower, but another tendril of magic gently coaxed her to keep looking at him. He wiped away his tears and steeled his expression. A dark flame burned within the depth of his eyes. “Nightmare…” he paused again, the burning within him growing hotter for a brief instant. “There’s more to this than just you now,” he said slowly.

Nightmare Moon slowly lifted her head away from the support of the magical tendril. A look of uncertainty took hold of her features as she watched that flame within him flicker. Something had gotten to him, something almost scary, and she was fearful of it. “What do you mean, Mathew?” she asked cautiously.

Mathew’s anger flared for a fraction of a second before vanishing behind a stoic mask. He lifted his head up and stood at his highest, a look of determination taking hold. “I had another… vision. It happened about an hour after I pushed you away. I… saw something. You’ll have to trust me when I say that I can’t reveal the details to you. Should I tell you… it could cause a lot of trouble for both of us,” he said in a low tone.

Nightmare’s eyes widened for a moment. She was surprised that she had not been able to sense Mathew having another vision. Then again, she was also shocked that he could command so much control over her mind. It seemed, at least until she could be proven wrong, that Nightmare Moon had given more of herself to him than she expected. Still, the look in his eyes told her he was genuine in his expression.

Despite that, however, she still opened her mouth to say one thing. “You aren’t going to abandon me… are you?” she asked weakly.

The fire in Mathew’s gaze went out in a flash, replaced with a warmer glow from his pale blue eyes. A soft grin slowly spread across his face and he stepped right up to Nightmare Moon – almost intimately close. His hand came up once more and lightly tapped the end of her muzzle. “We’re still in this together. Just because I can’t forgive you now doesn’t mean I never will. I won’t let my anger get in the way of Luna’s and your happiness,” he said softly.

Nightmare’s eyes misted and a small sigh of relief slipped from her. Her lips curled into a small honest smile and she nodded her head gently. “Thank you, Mathew. And I’m truly grateful for your help… I will do anything I can to repay you,” she said.

Mathew chuckled lightly. “I know you will, but that can wait until after we succeed. For now, I think it’s best I wake up. I’m sure everypony has had enough worrying about me,” he said.

Nightmare Moon simply nodded in agreement. She, too, was eager to set the others at ease. Her parting with Applejack had not been the most considerate way. Mathew nodded in turn and the window to the outside drifted down, from seemingly nowhere. He closed his eyes and fell into it.

Within moments, Mathew awoke in his body. Even though he had only been immersed within his mind for the course of the night it still felt as if he had been gone longer. Then again, he had not gotten used to having more control over his magic yet. He stared up into the morning sky and remembered his encounter with Discord. The Draconequus had rubbed Mathew the wrong way, but the bastard still succeeded in making a point.

Mathew sat up and crossed his legs, resting his elbows on them while clasping his hands together. He could feel it. A new power coursed through him. “Three magics…” he whispered to himself. He had the magic from his crystal heart, the recent addition of Nightmare’s own power, and now… Chaos magic. That last one gave him pause.

Discord had simply snapped his fingers to use his power. Yet, that act seemed to be more for show on the Draconequus’ part. It was difficult to tell, but Mathew could have sworn he had seen the way Discord’s magic flowed. It followed no set path, manifesting itself as it pleased, but Mathew’s chaos power felt like a flowing river. In contrast, Discord’s magic was more akin to multiple whirlpools with firecrackers in the centers.

Mathew pondered his new power further. Part of him wanted to test it out, but the smarter part of his gut told him he’d best wait until he had rested for a few more hours first. He sighed and sat up a little straighter, looking around. A small smile crept up on his face. Mathew did like that field.

Movement caught Mathew’s attention. He turned his gaze toward the source. A shadow was moving around in a steady motion… his shadow. Mathew’s eyes narrowed and he reached out within his mind to contact Nightmare.

Nightmare? he asked.

Nightmare stirred from her light slumber, which did not make Mathew’s concern dissipate. “Yes, Mathew?” she tiredly responded.

Mathew shook his head and sighed apologetically. Sorry to have woken you so soon, he said softly. But something’s off about my shadow. Can you take a look through that window and tell me what you see?

A few long seconds passed. The sudden rush of emotions he got from Nightmare told him he was about to have a rough time. She steeled herself before answering his question. “You… have held onto a part of my appearance, Mathew,” she said slowly. Mathew nodded and waited for her to elaborate. “Your eyes are blue again, but your hair seems to have been infused with magic – much like my own. Only, in your case, the magic has turned your hair as black as shadow. None of my stars rest within.”

Mathew sighed and forced himself to stand. He had to see what he truly looked like. After getting his bearings, he made strait for the closest source of water – a pond just a little further north. He made alarmingly good time getting there and, once beside the body of water, dropped down to gaze at his image.

As the ripple faded away, he saw exactly what Nightmare had described. Piercing pale blue eyes, with an inner ring of gold, took in every new detail. His hair billowed and moved in a slow ethereal wind and it resembled pitch-black smoke. It was almost impossible to notice, but he could almost swear there were tiny little flicks of pale blue near the ends of the hair strands. A deep frown then etched its way into Mathew’s expression.

“I look ridiculous,” Mathew stated.

A few seconds of quiet passed until a faint snickering drew his attention. Mathew sighed internally before turning his head to look. Hovering to his right was Discord, a look of ecstatic joy on his elongated face – which may or may not have looked like a target for a brief instant. He knew he would regret it, but Mathew decided to ask anyway. “What’s so funny?”

Discord’s eyes flickered and sparkled like that of a fangirl as he clasped his paw and claw together. “Awe, and here I thought you’d come to not care about me enough to ask,” he chortled. “But to make this less of a pain as before, since you’ve managed to do the near impossible – which, by the way, was surprising even to me – I’ll tell you,” he paused for dramatic effect before suddenly appearing right next to Mathew and placing his talons on his shoulder.

“Look on the bright side! You could have wound up with my dashing good looks,” Discord grinned.

Mathew eyed Discord for a long moment. Then, even if he had wanted to hold back, he let a grin of his own spread across his face. “Indeed,” Mathew chuckled. “But I think I can live with my mediocre appearance. In any case, you have my thanks.”

Discord lifted a brow and his grin vanished into a small frown. “So you’re gunna go right to the heart of the matter. Very well then, I suppose I can humor you this time,” he said with an overly dramatic sigh.

Mathew grinned a bit wider. “You know me all too well. So why did you help me?” he asked.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Discord countered. “In case you haven’t noticed, there’s an extreme lack of chaos in this world. And you… you have more potential than even I do when it comes to using such wonderfully chaotic power.”

Mathew’s brow inched up slowly. “And?”

“And you know you’re going to need it,” Discord finished firmly. “Don’t think I’m as clueless as Moonie. I may not have as much of a knack for visions, but my instincts have never failed me… except for when it comes to Flu-… I mean, certain other things,” he blushed slightly and coughed into his paw. “The point is, I knew I had to help you.”

Mathew eyed the Draconequus dubiously. Then, he started to laugh. “You really are a character, Discord,” he chuckled before turning to face him, “but you’re right.”

His mirth quickly died as Mathew eyed Discord for a moment. “Discord, I still require your help,” he said tightly.

Discord’s small grin vanished instantly, a look of determination replacing it. “I can’t help you when it comes to stopping Celestia,” he stated unflinchingly. “It was fun when I had ruled over this world, but-”

Both Mathew and Discord started when a rush of wind and a streak of prismatic color shot off into the distance. They then turned to one another, varying degrees of seriousness in their expressions. “Looks like things just got complicated,” Mathew said lowly.

Discord nodded. “She most likely jumped to a conclusion again. Should I go with you to explain?” he offered.

Mathew shook his head and turned back towards the orchard. “No. I get the feeling it would just make things worse. There’s still one thing I need to know, before I go,” he said and turned his head to look at Discord out of the corner of his eye. “Can you find me later? I’ve got a lot to figure out, and you’re the best bet I have in succeeding.”

Discord nodded. “I’ll seek you out after sunset. Just…” he paused, as if unsure of his words. “Just don’t let her think poorly of me again. Please?”

Mathew offered a small smile to the Draconequus and nodded. “I’ll defend your honor. I may only know a few stories about how you, but I know how you had to struggle to get that friendship. See you later, Discord.”

Author's Note:

Poor Mathew... it's never easy losing someone close. Unfortunately, his ride isn't over yet.

Hope you all enjoyed the read. Tune in next week to find out what happens because Rainbow Dash doesn't stick around for the full conversation. It's gunna be a blast!

Comments

[Tofty]

This story is... interesting. It's a different take compared to what I've read before is all I'll say to avoid spoilers, which I enjoy. It's quite well written too, not littered with glaring errors and flows quite well. I have a few gripes with the character of Mathew but meh, it's your story and I'm enjoying it so far anyway. Looking forward to the next chapter, this is all going to start coming to a head soon I feel.

[Oddling]

7758706 I'm liking that idea. :)

7758803 lol, thanks for the input. This is the first serious attempt of a story I've put together for others to enjoy. I'll admit that I got carried away while writing it. Once the idea sunk into my demented little mind, I just had to get it out. I know it's not the best piece, but I enjoyed the concept and I've tried to improve in my storytelling since I started writing this (a turning point, if you will).

As for the current state of Mathew's tale, yes, it is coming to a head. There are a few more chapters left and it'll be going out with a bang.

I look forward to your future comments.

[Oddling]

7759144 I'll keep that in mind. My apologies for butchering it enough to warrant such a response.