A Royal Problem

by Wearin Hat

If Windows Could Talk

“Why does anypony fret so much over such pitiful things?” Grunted through gritted teeth, the words split through the silence of the empty hall as their speaker trotted along deliberately stepping heavily so as to help her passively vent some frustration.

Another bust, that’s what this prior meeting had been for the Sun Princess. The discussion had been one meant to solve what Celestia had been informed was a legitimate territory dispute. As a princess it was her duty to see to it that her land was shared happily by her subjects. Normally ponies can handle themselves perfectly fine without involving royalty, but sometimes two sides of an argument refused settlement and would demand that their government handle it for them. That had happened today.

The Maple clan and the Log clan had come into disagreements in regards to a stretch of forest that lay between their homes. For years they have fought over the right to this land. Celestia had been aware of their fighting as it had actually gotten so fierce that Fillydelphia was endangered by the large families fighting. She had ordered the land be split into two equal halves in order to end the issue. This solution, as it seems, did not take and was discarded after a year. Celestia had already made her mind up when her guard announced that their issue was the next on the docket.

Rather than behave civilly, both families had shown up and simply used this new venue as a battleground for their argument. This was not only an insult to Equestria’s government as a whole, but to Celestia herself who had spared precious time of her day to oversee the matter. What angered the Sun Princess the most was that neither side seemed to care about the blatant disrespect they were showing. Using that anger, Celestia had finally decided to once more split the territory into two equal halves. This time, however, she had settled on placing a magical wall where the border now lay. Both heads of the clans were to spend the rest of the day and night in the rarely used dungeons within the Sun Princess’ castle.

Disappointed in the way the encounter had gone, Celestia had decided to take the safe path and retire for the day. She couldn’t entirely blame the greedy ponies for the deterioration of the meeting as she wasn’t thinking about the territory as she knew she should’ve been. Luna’s problem dominated her thoughts, so much so that the Solar Princess had her guards hang behind in the throne room so she could be alone. Her proxies could handle the important tasks she had, if only for the rest of the day.

Hoping to put her mind at ease, Celestia walked solemnly through one of the huge halls of the palace. Despite the size of these massive passageways, they had always seemed somewhat small after she had grown into her full height. She and Luna used to play in them with all the fervor energetic fillies could muster. To this day the Sun Princess was uncertain of just how many windows they had broken in their jubilee. Their favorite game back then had been to play hide and seek in the halls. It would often take each of them hours to get through one game.

Celestia’s mood brightened as she caught a glimpse of one of her favorite hiding places; a barely visible hole in the back of a column. There was never a game in which she used the spot and lost. However, Luna wasn’t without her own tricks. Somewhere in the palace was a spot that the Moon Princess favored and Celestia had still yet to find it.

Those times were simple and happy for the two sisters. The politics weren’t their problems and all they ever had to worry about was raising the sun and moon every day and night. All of their free time was spent with each other. Celestia used to take her sister flying to gaze at the beauty of the world illuminated by the sun while Luna would sit and point out the constellations and different star formations. Unfortunately, life has a way of turning sour when at its sweetest.

Discord’s rule had been eternal up until that point and he’d never been much more than a nuisance. He, along with the other spiritual manifestations, shared dominion over the world. Each of them acted on their own and only socialized when they were bored. There were two spirits that frequented their attention to the denizens of the world; Discord and Harmony. Evil as he would always be, the mischievous spirit existed in equality with the other spirit. This all changed when he personally visited Canterlot.

Celestia and Luna had never met the beast before and were taken aback by his appearance and humor. That’s what had drawn the fillies in, his laughter. He would play pranks on citizens and guards that would leave the sisters in stitches for minutes and his spontaneity provided a beautiful escape from the mundane politics that occurred all around them. However, despite their friendship, something changed in the spirit. He wanted something different from them, something that even he couldn’t quite name.

He only ever made one attempt to attain whatever it was he desired and it left the Sun Princess with a broken leg. It was an accident in all truth. She and Luna had been flitting about in the sky as usual when Discord morphed a cloud into cotton candy that collided with the older alicorn. Her wings now sticking to her body and her mind awash with panic and surprise, Celestia fell quickly whilst both the younger alicorn and the chaotic spirit watched on in stunned silence.

Luna blamed her sister for the stunt and even tried to claim that the Sun Princess had intended the trick to hurt her instead. Discord never said a word, he only watched from afar with an intrigued smirk on his face. Celestia could vaguely recall an odd feeling in the air. The few weeks following that encounter were very rough for the two sisters. Many fights were had for practically no reason at all. However, the chaos didn’t last as Luna eventually reconciled with her sister and admitted her foalishness.

The next day was one that would live forever in Celestia’s mind. It had started out innocently enough, a particular highlight being a well placed bucket of water on the Sun Princess’ door courtesy of the Princess of the Night. Ignorant of the events the day would hold, the humored alicorn went to her balcony to raise the sun only to be met with the light of day. Exactly twenty seconds passed as Celestia observed the view of the valley in utter confusion. She would forever remember those horrible moments as they were the prelude to every nightmare she would ever have.

Stretching out across what one day would become Ponyville were pink clouds raining a brown sludge onto a checkerboard-like land of screams and terror. Those seconds passed by slowly as the scene sank into the ruler’s memory for eternity. Her first thoughts were of rage as the night was the time of her sister’s rule. How could she let this happen to their beloved land? Even worse, the alicorn honestly felt as though she could scream if not for the myriad of broken trains of thought. Surely she couldn’t blame her sister for this transgression, Luna cared about the land as much as she, but if not the Lunar Princess then who would -or could for that matter- throw the land into such disorder.

What finally broke the young alicorn out of her trance was the voice she had become to associate with friendship and laughter, a cackling cacophony of self-righteous praise. The spirit gloated on and on about how he had been so pleasantly surprised by the chaos that existed between the two sisters. His voice dropped into a terrifying deadpan as he mentioned that Harmony had ruined the beautiful mess he had created. Ever one to gloat, Discord spoke highly of how he’d defeated and destroyed his fellow spirit. As he spoke the sun rose and fell along with the moon in some sick perversion of nature.

“Finally, Chaos will run free. And I have you and Lulu to thank for the idea. So please, sit back and enjoy the show my dear Tia.” Those words, those sing-a-long words he dared to string together, they would haunt the Sun Princess for as long as she lived.

A vase to the left of the ruler shattered as she struggled to get her temper under control. Discord had ruined everything that day. He bent the world into his own sick image and corrupted the minds of her subjects as if it were a joke. The worst damage he dealt was the destruction of the spirit of Harmony. Though she and Luna had been able to manifest the very essence of Harmony’s power into the elements, the disappearance of the manifestation deprived the world of natural order. Without that natural order, the world would continually fall into chaos without constant supervision. This directly led to Luna’s corruption.

“Wretched monster, I hope your stony prison is one fit for your suffering.” Her words true as they had ever been, the princess squinted her eyes shut in frustration as she let the feelings pass by her. It was unhealthy to remain in such an emotional state and the last thing she wanted was for her emotions to get the better of her.

Luna’s transformation into Nightmare Moon had been a slow one that had occurred over the course of many decades. Though she could feel the mounting feelings of envy and rage within her sister, the Sun Princess had foolishly attributed the rise in emotion to the Princess of the Night being in touch with her feelings. If anything, she had believed that her little sister was at a very peaceful point in life.

Light shone through a large window as the Sun Princess turned her eyes to the beautiful art on the glass. The scene depicted was the very first meeting of the very first Council of Magic that had founded the complicated school system that had become so expanded throughout Canterlot. Celestia remembered that encounter fondly. A star studded affair, the first Council was made up of the greatest magical minds in history: Star Swirl the Bearded, Storm Crow the Grey, Marelyn the Wise, Albus the Caring, Monty the Fiery, King Boing Loing the Cold, Princess Luna, and Princess Celestia. However, these other ponies were more than just colleges with whom the sisters worked with; they were their friends.

Though few of the ponies in group had even met before that first meeting, they all became great friends afterwards. Celestia attributed the continued sanity of her and Luna during the trying times after Discord’s defeat mostly to this Council. These ponies were all very precious to the sisters. Luna in particular was particularly fond of her newest friends. After all, few other Equestrian’s had the courage to become personally close with the Princess of the Night.

Out of the group, Celestia had always felt the closest to Storm Crow the Grey. Being very old -only surpassed in age by the Sun Princess herself- gave the stallion a humorously philosophic view on the issues brought up in meetings. In fact, there was rarely a time where Celestia could be around the stallion for more than ten minutes without bursting out into laughter with him over the most insignificant things. Though he preferred to relax and have a good time, there were few ponies gifted in magic such as him. Anypony with an academic background would label his greatest achievements as being his many breakthroughs in the field of terrestrial manipulation, Storm Crow himself believed his greatest success being his discovery of new strains of smoking plants. Never a smoker, Celestia had actually considered trying some of the weeds he had been experimenting with that he described as having a soothing effect on the mind. In time the act of casually smoking the plants he found passed into the taboo, however, doctors still advice patients under heavy amounts of stress to give this type of smoking a chance.

Luna’s closest friend -besides Celestia- had always been Monty the Fiery. Putting the word hyperactive to shame, this mare was legendary for her absolute love of showing off her powers when presented with the opportunity. What made her so appealing to the Lunar Princess was that she was always more than happy to teach any unicorns interested in learning the spells she put on display. Unfortunately, this generosity often led to some issues due to Monty’s specialty being the manipulation of fire. Never one to let something damper her mood for long, the fiery mare always managed to set right any problem she caused. Though Celestia was never overly fond of the mare, the Sun Princess held her in extremely high regards due to her groundbreaking achievements in the field of flame magic.

Star Swirl had always been an intriguing pony to both royal sisters. While not shy by any means and definitely not the softest spoken pony of the Council, the famously bearded stallion was the strangest. At some point the silly unicorn had gotten it into his head that ghost ponies not only existed but yearned hungrily for clothing. Ever fearful that the ghosts would thieve from him his robes and hat, he had taken to sewing bells into his belongings so that he would hear if some invisible force tried to steal the fabric right off his flank. This did not translate well into social skills which led to Star Swirl being infamously paranoid which saw him develop several isolationist tendencies. While not very productive in creating friendships and lasting relationships, the stallion completely made up for this short coming with his astounding discoveries in the most difficult of magic fields; temporal manipulation. That reason alone earned the powerful unicorn a place on the Council. However, Celestia often had to berate herself for increasing the fame of a pony with such negative personality traits. She was lucky that her star pupil had only picked up on a miniscule piece of Star Swirl’s study habits. Though she had quickly managed to qualm her fears over her student, the Sun Princess still had to remind herself to stay calm whenever she remembered just how close the younger mare was to stumbling into the hoofsteps. Celestia had been particularly startled when she received word from a guard that Twilight had ventured into the branch of the Canterlot Archives where Star Swirl’s findings could be found and that a scroll about time travel had been disturbed that same night. Since then the Sun Princess had made sure to initiate a closing time for the archives and thus limit access to that vast knowledge.

Beyond the princesses themselves, the most respected member of the Council was a pony that Celestia trusted above all other mortals; Marelyn the Wise. Old and powerful, though nowhere near the age of Storm Crow or the power of Star Swirl, Marelyn’s fame rested upon her legendary wisdom that nopony in history had ever managed to comprehend the scope of. Sometimes it even seemed as though she knew things were going to happen before they would ever begin to occur. In fact, Celestia couldn’t recall a single time where the mare had been incorrect on an observation. This knowledge truly shone through in her studies regarding ethereal magic, better known by modern ponies as being the study of the supernatural. If not for Marelyn’s research, nopony would know anything about the world beyond what Luna and Celestia knew. It was she who discovered the existence of other spirits of nature like Discord, the hell that was Tartarus, and the Changeling menace that had been lurking directly under Celestia’s muzzle. However, Marelyn’s most important discovery came in the form of seemingly inconsequential magic threads moving throughout the world. These tendrils, as she would go on to describe them, subtly manipulated the entirety of the world -with Marelyn suggesting that they could even be doing so to existence itself. Her findings laid to rest a substantial mystery that Celestia had been plagued by since foalhood; whether or not there was truly a grand creator, known as Faust in the ancient myths. Along with her amazing finds, Marelyn provided a service similar to therapy for anypony interested. Never once did Celestia have to be worried that her confidant would reveal her esteem issues, such trust forged a deep bond between the two.

Whilst the royal sisters found Marelyn to be the most comforting pony to know due to her loyalty, the rest of pony-kind favored the softest spoken member of the Council; Albus the Caring. True to his title, the stallion was there to help rebuild all of Equestria in the wake of Discord’s defeat. He was actually already deep in the process of mending wounds and clearing debris when the princesses amassed a group to be officially dispatched to take care of the destruction. Of all ponies that Celestia had ever met, Albus was the only one to never have a negative word spoken about him. There was good reason for that beyond his constant assistance around Equestria, the stallion had practically founded the art of mental and emotional magic. His work allowed ponies to finally have a vast understanding of how the mind worked and how pivotal emotions were. Albus became so skilled in the art of emotions that he had a strange ability to instantly read a ponies mind and understand their feelings by simply seeing their face. Celestia had to bite down on her lower lip to stifle a whimper as she desperately wished that the humble unicorn was still among the living. The world was truly a brighter place when he was alive.

Celestia shuddered as her eyes came to rest on the final figure immortalized on the window; Boing Loing the Cold. He stood on the furthest left side of the table with his typical vacant smile on his lips with his unclean beard twisting to the floor from his chin. Of all ponies to have ever existed, it was safe to say that none were as disliked as this light blue unicorn was. Despite the few positive traits he displayed, the Sun Princess still regarded him as being one of Equestria’s most vile threats. Boing Loing was a very unpleasant pony to be around, mostly stemming from his complete lack of manners and bad hygiene. What made it worse was that he had a strange fascination with princesses, an interest he seemed to indulge by staring at Luna and Celestia for hours without ever saying a word. The only reason he had made it onto the Council was that he was the king of a far away land frozen in permanent winter, which seemed to fit perfectly with his specialty in magic; manipulation of ice. His acceptance into the group proved to be of great use as his knowledge of ice allowed for a new understanding of how winter worked and the complex effects the cold had on the land. Perhaps his greatest contribution was in the knowledge of windigos. This information proved crucial as the whole of Equestria was alerted of how to deal with the windigo threat.

A sudden urge to smash the historic window before the Sun Princess became practically irresistible. She hated Boing Loing, more than any other pony to have ever lived. His early interactions with the ponies of Equestria proved disastrous as he foalnapped many poor fillies before Luna and Celestia personally confronted him. The vile stallion’s explained his actions as being his longing for a bride, but he didn’t want a mare that wouldn’t listen to him, no, Boing Loing was determined to raise a filly into the ideal wife. Not standing for such actions, the demented unicorn was locked away for many years until his time was served in full. Knowing that his mind was one of the greatest in the world, Celestia freed the stallion under the pretense that he would behave and do as told. Though he was invaluable for the Council, the Sun Princess regretted ever letting him out of his prison. With Harmony no longer naturally flowing through the land, Luna’s emotions became unstable as her worries went along without closure. This process was only worsened by the antics of Boing Loing. He tormented the Lunar Princess day in and day out over what he called inferiority to the Sun Princess. All he ever spoke to her about was that she was lesser than her older sister and thus more suitable in his eyes. In the end his prodding produced the seeds from which Nightmare Moon would grow.

Of the original Council, besides Luna and Celestia, Boing Loing was the last to pass away. Death visited the unicorns each in due time and each during Luna’s one thousand year banishment.

Storm Crow, Marelyn, and Albus each passed away from old age. Tragically, Albus was the third youngest member of the Council and looked as though he could’ve gone on for at least another one hundred years. It was so sudden that the whole of Equestria froze in silence in honor of his passing. Celestia had never inquired as to what had ended his life so early; she simply did not want that knowledge in her mind. Shortly afterwards Marelyn slipped away on her way back from an expedition into draconic territory. The only passenger with her, a blind colt she had adopted, said that she had magically received a letter detailing the death of Albus. Once more Celestia did not seek an answer as to exactly why her friend had died, but she knew very well that learning of Albus’ death would be more than heartbreaking. Storm Crow’s death had been an odd one. Being so old, a pony would’ve expected him to be long dead as he was nearly three thousand years old when he finally passed. It had been quite peaceful. He had retired to his quarters after a peaceful dinner with Celestia to smoke his favorite pipe. His body was found the next morning sitting in his favorite smoking chair with his pipe still hanging from his lips as he used to let it do as he slept. Needless to say, the Sun Princess was traumatized by his passing.

Monty and Star Swirl’s deaths were both shockers for the whole of Equestria as they had been accidents that nopony had intended to be fatal. In Monty’s case, a few foals had decided that they wanted to prank their hero and had set up fireworks all along the top of Ghastly Gorge. The foolish youths then waited for her to arrive with a group of unicorns wishing to be taught some magic. Unaware of what they were doing, the foals lit the fireworks which then proceeded to cause a massive rockslide that rained down upon the group. Though the group managed to make it out relatively unscathed, it took Monty’s sacrifice to assure that most of the ponies she brought were saved from the crushing rocks. Star Swirl’s death, however, was not heroic and was more of a statement towards his lifestyle than anything else. Ever being one to neglect everything in favor of studying, the unicorn became extremely malnourished and his body suffered greatly from the strain his habits put on his form. Then, one foggy morning, a servant brought the stallion breakfast. The poor pony’s hoofsteps went unheard by Star Swirl and when he turned around to get another book he immediately collapse to the floor in panic. Minutes later he was declared deceased from a massive heart attack brought on by his poor health and by the paranoia he carried with him everywhere.

Though still tragic in a way, Boing Loing’s death was anything but an accident or one that was mourned. In fact, Celestia remembered the moment well when a courier brought news that the young princess Mi Amore Cadenza had been foalnapped by somepony. This was just the latest in a long string of foalnappings targeting fillies of royal blood. Immediately the Sun Princess knew who the culprit was and took a group of her most highly trained guards to confront the demented king. Sure enough, Celestia found Cadance and the other fillies in Boing Loing’s lair. Once more he claimed his desire for the perfect bride to be to blame. Having had enough with this sorry exscuse for a stallion, Celestia ordered that he be put to death for his crimes. Not since has she had to use such a harsh punishment and not a single night passed by where she didn’t think that perhaps enough therapy could’ve cured him.

“Such a sorry fate…if only Luna were still around to talk me down from my decision at the time…” Death was the one thing that Celestia hate with all her being. It was never pleasant and she felt that nopony’s passing should be celebrated as Boing Loing’s was. The way she saw it, the Magic of Friendship had failed after Luna’s transformation. Celestia wasn’t legitimately happy until Twilight and her friends defeated Nightmare Moon and returned her sister to her.

Once more the Sun Princess looked to the figures on the window with a sad sigh. Their deaths had been difficult for her to take, especially Storm Crow’s. In a way, she became incapable of using an element of harmony each time she received word one of them died. Albus’ death took from her the ability to be truly kind to anypony beyond those already close to her, Marelyn’s death took from her the ability remain loyal or consistent with an idea or thought, Storm Crow’s death took from her the precious ability to laugh and smile in earnest, Monty’s death turned the Sun Princess into a being who gave nothing but inexpensive knowledge so that she could retain objects to remember her past by, Star Swirl’s death limited the amount of magic she could use without losing control of her powers, and Boing Loing’s death took her ability to be honest with herself and admit the truth of her decision.

That’s why she needed Luna to come back to her. The pain of losing her sister could not be endured twice and the Sun Princess was deathly afraid that losing her sister’s love would do to her what losing Albus did to Marelyn. That’s why she needed Twilight to succeed.