• Member Since 17th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Jade Ring

“Stories have to be told or they die, and when they die, we can't remember who we are or why we're here.” -Sue Monk Kidd


"What does Fluffle Puff eat?"


Inspired by a question my morphine-addled wife asked me yesterday while driving home from the hospital.

Live reading by the author here.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 32 )

You just made me like Fluffle Puff even less than I already did. And I hate Fluffle Puff.

...i can't even.

Fluffle Puff is of course a baleen feeder, her hairs constantly sweeping in insects, spiders, small birds, cupcakes...

What the actual fuck did I just read..? XD

That was... appropriately terrifying, Jade. Let's never think about that again! :raritydespair:

Nicely done, though. *shudders* Ugh, acid...

7553756 how does one hate thou which cannot be hated

7554061 It can be hated, that's how.

Mildly unsettling.

Great. Now I feel like Fluffle Puff is just a ponified Blob.

Nevertheless, I enjoyed this.

7554383 Exactly what I was going for.

The 1988 remake scarred me at the age of six. Now, it's just eh.

That twist at the end wasn't really nearly funny enough to make this count as a horror comedy. It was pretty much telegraphed from the first line.

Also, acid eating through anyone's skull sounds like something that really ought to be T-rated.

I was going to say that she eats marsh mellows and magic! Jeez!

That escalated quickly.

7555561 Nah. Think of this like a 1980s kids movie ala Monster Squad or Gremlins. A line of suggested skull melting is okay for the chilluns.

And the comedy tag really comes from the interactions between Silver Shield and Fluffle Puff.

The point of the E-rating is "something that could reasonably be displayed in the show." I really don't think this would, but I suppose it's low key enough to not be worth the argument.


why did you marry a morphine addict

7556234 I'm sorry? Are you unaware that morphine is the most common of pain medicines given in emergency rooms?


7556393 well in utah it's a banned substance


I'm not going to get any sleep tonight!

My user avatar and I take unbridled (pone pun! :rainbowkiss:) umbrage to this story. While it is true that we know very little about the actual nature of fluffle puff, and whereas, yes, her "eccentricities" can be off-putting if not downright bizzare, and admittedly she has shown a decidedly un-pony-like affinity for taco meat, ham, and other carnivorous cuisine, and sure, technically her Big Sis is an undead Dead Space space monster, thats NO REASON to start pointing hooves, Gabby Gums. :unsuresweetie:

And one thing is for darn sure, she would NOT eat Chryssi!
Would she eat Dan? Sure, who wouldn't? :pinkiecrazy:
Twilight? Most likely. :twilightoops:
Cadance? Obviously :raritywink:
Just about any & everypony else? Yeah, I'd believe that. :derpyderp2:
But never her one & only bughorse! :fluttershysad:

So plbbttt. :trollestia:

That was unsettling... I like it:pinkiecrazy:

um....excuse my language

Author Interviewer

I just about died. XD

Constructive criticism: the part where dragnet try to escape is a little confusing. At first I thought the black stallion was fluffle puffs true Form or something

This version of Fluffle Puff vs Vorepone.

Fluffle Puff wouldn't do that to her bug waifu. Everypony else in town sure. But not bug waifu.

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