Collecting artefacts of power is only slightly less safe than tightrope-walking over a snake pit, but it's a fantastic excuse to go places for the likes of Carmine and Vanilla, henchmares-for-hire.
This time, they're hunting for a pegasus crystal on a hot, sunny island, somewhere beyond Equestrian borders. It's got a lovely little legend attached to it, too. Vanilla likes legends.
Ancient secrets, evil deeds, death waiting for the merest slip-up... it's just another Monday, really. At least the scenery's nice.
Rating: General reading, but some scenes contain a level of threat and violence beyond the TV show's standard.
Chapters (4)
Very interesting. This isn’t the first adventure-subversion I've seen that focuses on the villain's henchmen. But all the others I can recall were some flavor of comedy, while yours is a pretty serious take on that premise.
I like that it's not immediately obvious that Carmine and Vanilla are working for the bad guys, nor that Carmine's superiority really doesn't mean as much as she claims. Appearances are deceiving.
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Give or take the odd wisecrack and the "temple of doom" abuse, of course.
That said, I'm glad you found the serious elements worthy of pointing out, because one of my goals while writing this was to make the characters less one-note and more complicated. Comedy's a part of that, of course, but there were other facets to emphasize. That's why I'm particularly proud of the fourth chapter, which is more introspective than the others, shows the two when they're most approachable and nicely relaxed, and arguably puts the whole adventure business into perspective.
That's interesting. When I was writing this one, I never set out to conceal what Carmine and Vanilla were, given what they do (or at least imply they'll do) to Folio in the first chapter and especially given the moment when Carmine subtly threatens Vanilla with harsh punishment just before entering the library. That said, I did set out at least to make them... not necessarily sympathetic, but more morally ambiguous than usual for villainous henchmares, and at least understandable in terms of motivation and attitude.
Then again, I knew what kind of characters they were from the start, so maybe it doesn't come across the same way to someone else reading it afresh.
I like to think the same holds true in reverse too: Vanilla is a lot smarter and a lot more capable than she lets on, as shown by how carefully she handles Folio, and especially the way she gets the drop on Zodos, whereas Carmine gets outmanoeuvred by the zebra or ends up merely escaping through sheer luck in the third chapter.
Thank you for the feedback! It's very welcome.
7848116 Yeah, that last chapter stuck with me and was a big reason I got that "serious" impression.
In retrospect, I see that I overlooked / didn't get a bunch of their more villainous behavior.
In light of Carmine's monologue at the very end, about their organization possibly being a giant con game, I can't help but wonder who's being conned. It might not fit with your story here, but I could imagine a similar organization in the main MLP universe, created by Celestia and with her secret agents in all the upper leadership positions. Sort of a "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" setup. If Celly can't completely stop ponies from going bad, she can at least attract them to someplace where they'll have oversight and a code of conduct to restrain them a little. And where they can do good work by (unknowingly) keeping the really dangerous artifacts away from those who would actually use them.
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Glad to hear it.
The way I intended that reading was this: the agency workers do legitimate work for real bad guys, but they know ahead of time that, Equestria being what it is, those bad guys are guaranteed to fail, and no one can blame the agency for it because they hold up their end of the bargain every time. I see it more as a case of pragmatic evil undermining grandiose/stupid evil, ironically by giving them exactly what they want but neglecting to mention what'll happen afterwards.
The agency is like a smart parasite that's learned to live with a host for a regular food supply, while indirectly helping to destroy any parasites that threaten to kill or dangerously weaken the host. It's still a parasite, but better a smart and careful parasite than a stupid and dangerous one. That's why Carmine looks down on the Xenophon agency; they're too obviously destructive and untrustworthy for that trick to work. (Besides, even evil has standards)
That said, and now you've mentioned it, I quite like your idea that Celestia manufactures the con deliberately as a way to keep her enemies distracted or restrained. That's the sort of crafty strategy I could imagine her employing, kind of like Vetinari in the Discworld books.
Yo ,thanks for adding this to New Horizons!
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You're welcome. The group was recommended to me by a fellow user, and it does look intriguing, I must say.
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If I may ask, who recommended it to you?
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xgfhj recommended the group on one of my blog posts. Here's the link to their user page, if you're interested in talking to them: https://www.fimfiction.net/user/xgfhj.
Interesting beginning. You play very well with words in the descriptions and the whole story is rather dynamic. Also, Carmine and Vanilla seem like an interesting and funny, yet dangerous duo so far. I hope to read the next chapters soon!
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Hello again. It's a pleasant surprise to receive a comment for an old story. Glad to see you're enjoying it so far; this was one of my favourite ones to write last year!
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Well, upon reading your other story, I just skimmed through your library and this one caught my eye. Old or not, that doesn’t change the quality of the plot 
Hello and you’re welcome
This indeed was an interesting ride from beginning to end, with more adventures and crazy twists and turns than I had expected. However, I’m glad it all ended this calmly, though I have to say, I was expecting some trouble to arise till the last paragraph.
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Pleased to see you enjoyed it. I was going for lots of different angles (comedic, introspective, hectic, horrific, etc.), which is probably what makes it so twisty. And I felt the more thoughtful ending was needed, especially after what Vanilla goes through. (If nothing else, it was a nice breather).