We will catch you if we can

by proto-alpha

An escape not so successful

The ponies, and dragon, exited the room, slamming the doors in the process, but they didn't see where Fernando went because there were many doors where he could have gone.

"If Discord brought that thing here, we need to capture it before it gets out of the castle" said Celestia, "Let's separate and give advise to any guard that you may find" she said before she entered a room. There were other five exits in the room, not counting the one they exited and the one that Celestia picked. Luna was the next one to go down a passage, while she trotted, she commanded to the others

"You go for the remaining routes, remain even and whatever you do, don't fall for Discord's tricks". The ponies made a military salute as the princess left and immediately ran down the remaining corridors in groups of two. Twilight went with Spike, Applejack with Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy with Rarity and Pinkie was about to go alone when she noticed that Lyra wasn't moving.

"Hey Lyra, didn't you hear? We need to get moving!" Pinkie urged the unicorn as she hopped back to where she was

"But... I don't know what I am doing here, I don't even know why Discord brought me too!" she said, very confused about the situation now that she could stop to notice everything that was happening

"Does it matter? The more the merrier!" Pinkie told to the unicorn while happily bouncing on her hoofs before taking onr of her hoofs and dragging her to the last corridor that wasn't picked by anypony else.

When the last ponies left the room, one of the doors started to slowly move itself to reveal Fernando. He was holding his nose and if he could talk, he would be expressing his pain right now in a not so acceptable way. After recovering from the hit and managing to stop his bleeding nose, he tried to form a plan.

"First of all, I need to find a bathroom" he thought as he observed the blood in his hands. Thankfully, a potted plant was a good hiding spot for blood and thanks to that, he didn't need to soak his clothes in the liquid.

If he remembered right, the closest bathroom was next to the stairs, so he went for the exit that Pinkie and Lyra had taken too. He managed to get there before he was seen by anypony, and once there he locked it ad washed away the red from his hands

"This at least won't make then think I'm a blood thirsty beast" he thought as he walked to the door. He was about to open it when there was a knock. He started to panic and tried to make grunting sounds as if he was... you should know what, but he got another surprise when he discovered that he couldn't produce any sounds

"Great, I can't do any kind of sounds now" he thought irritated while trying to growl in annoyance. He started to hyperventilate when whoever was outside knocked at the door again. In an attempt to gain some time, he went to what appeared to be the toilet and flushed it. When he didn't come up with anything, he gave up and went to open the door when there was a third knock. When he opened the door, he got multiple hits in the head from what would be multiple knocks. He saw Pinkie at the door and was about to put a defeated look when she just pushed him out of the bathroom

"MOVE, I NEED TO USE IT!" she yelled as she closed the door and locked it. Fernando got a very confused look, but shrugging his shoulders he just walked for the stairs. He didn't notice the pair of yellow eyes spying on him.

Lyra was running, trying to catch up with Pinkie Pie, who all of the sudden started to run as if her life depended on it. When she saw her finally stopping at a door to knock at it, she gave a wild guess

"She probably needs the bathroom" that turned to be right when she heard her yelling

"MOVE, I NEED TO USE IT", but she jumped to hiding when she saw the last occupant of the bathroom. She was about to try and catch him when she saw him shrugging his shoulders. That wasn't what called her attention, but the end of the extremities did. The member matched perfectly the book that showed a drawing of a monkey of a myth. She didn't consider it a myth because of her grandfather histories, and she decided to study it more.

Lyra observed how Fernando took hold of the rail of the stair as he went down. She observed how his hands could adapt at the form and get a firm grip of it. She was tempted at capturing it for herself, but she desisted when she remembered that Discord had something to do with him

"It will be safer if I get the help of more ponies she thought as she went to inform the rest of where he is.

Fernando, meanwhile, reached the end of the stairs. He was about to continue his path when he heard some voices behind him

"Hey, what is that?" he heard one of them. Gears were working in his head while he registered what the pony said

"This means that nobody from the Human Hunters Team has made it to the lower floors" he thought, while trying to not look suspicious.

"It must be one of the animals from the gardens that managed to get in the castle" said another voice.

"Okay then, I'm an animal. Act natural!" he commanded to himself as he started to 'inspect' the things in the room as if he didn't know what they were.

"Yeah, it looks like one of those spider monkeys, just bigger and without fur" said again the first voice.

"But why does it have clothes?" said the first voice, that was masculine.

"It must be a compensation for the lack of fur" said the second voice. This one was feminine. Fernando turned to finally see a guard, that one was a pegasus, and a servant, this was a unicorn. He slowly approached them with an unsure look on his face. He did look very convincing, so much as to the servant to actually calling him.

"Here boy, I'm not gonna hurt you" she said. He got near her and started to study her clothing as a part of his act. The mare giggled a little and the guard said

"You better return him. Remember that none of the castle animals are 'trained', and you know how the princess Celestia was the last time one entered" he shuddered at the memory.

It was a calm morning. The princess Celestia was enjoying the day, and why wouldn't she? There were not problems that were meant to be solved by her, no inaugurations or festivities. The day was for herself and she would enjoy it.

She was going to sit down with a cup of tea and read one of the new books that she couldn't start until now.

"I wonder what happens in this new Daring Do book" she said quietly to herself, awaiting the moment that she got the book in her hoofs. Everything was fine until she suddenly stepped on something. At first the texture made her wonder what could it be. She moved her hoof a little to fill better the thing that she had walked on. She couldn't quite remember where she had felt this before. When she finally looked down, she saw a brown mass under her hoof.

Her face went whiter than it was already before it turned to the brighter red. Her day was supposed to be perfect and now... well...

"WHO IS RESPONSIBLE OF THIS!" she yelled using the Royal Canterlot Voice. A group of servants arrived at the scene, wondering what could have made their princess so mad. One of the had a little spider monkey with her, and she immediately backed away slowly.

"WHO OF YOU LEFT THIS THERE? she asked them. They at first were frozen in the place, but then they quickly pointed to their retreating fellow, who still had the monkey.

The rest of the memory is better to stay untold, but let's just say that the pony learned her lesson for letting in an animal and not watch over him half of the time, and ruining the princess' favorite slippers.

"Well, in her defense, she couldn't have known that monkeys tend to throw their food" the mare said to the stallion

"Yeah, but one does not simply gives a chocolate ice cream to an animal that doesn't know how to eat pony food and expects it to eat it the right way" the guard said.

Fernando was left to wonder what they were talking about, and when the attention returned to him, he made a lost stare that practically said 'non-thinking' with big glowing neon letters.

"I'll just levitate it over to the gardens. After all, we're just one floor over the tree tops" the servant said

"Wait, what?"" he thought before being levitated, with some effort and help from the pegasus, and being dropped a meter or two over the trees. He fell through the branches and got his t-shirt stuck on one of the lower branches, avoiding the hit of the ground.

"That was too close" he thought emphasizing the word too.

"Yeah, I know," he heard a voice that he wished wasn't there "but don't worry, I know that nothing is good until it's done" he turned to see sitting on the brach he was stuck. By the look of his paw and claw, it appeared that he would let it loose

"Don't you dare do that!" he thought, but he was ignored, because some seconds later he was on the ground. "I hate you" he thought still with his face on the ground.

He stood up, ignoring the sounds of laugher coming from the draconequus and observed around him where he was. He was in the gardens that were outside the hall where the Great Galloping Gala would take place in some months. He knew this from the tour that Twilight gave him some days ago. From there, he knew how to get to the main gates easily.

Discord, wanting to see everything that happened to him, followed him.

The first pony that Lyra found was the Princess Celestia. She told her that Fernando was already on the lower floors and the princess teleported to the next floor, hoping to stop Fernando before he could get to the gates. Once there, he found a guard making his round around the castle. She approached him from and started to talk, startling him

"Glowing Edge, have you seen a creature that resembles a monkey except that it doesn't have tail nor fur?" the guard turned, feeling uneasy because of his fear of being called the culprit of this. He decided that telling everything would make him seem innocent

"Yes, your highness. One of your servants, Tea Cup, and me found it wandering around. It must have entered the castle by accident, so we returned it to the gardens before any problems could happen". The princess got very anxious at his response and explained to him that Fernando was brought by Discord, from where, they didn't know, but it couldn't do any good for it to get away from the castle.

When the princess finished her explanation, the guard felt really stupid with himself.

"There is no time for feeling bad for something that you didn't have any knowledge, for now help in the search and give advise to any guard that you may find" the princess told to Glowing. He bowed before going to the training grounds, knowing that the captain Shining Armor was still at the morning routine.

For her part, Princess Celestia teleported to the gates of the castle, determined to stop Fernando before he could get away.

Fernando's POV

I ran through the gardens to the gates of the castle. Along the was Discord was rambling about random things, varying from how ponies didn't appreciate the chaos to how little things were more dangerous than a chocolate milk of glass.

"I'm pretty sure that if I hadn't thrown that chocolate milk in time it would have blown my fang from my face" he said, remembering, in his words, the last time he tried to return Equestria to its formerly wonderful chaotic state. He stopped when I put my hand over his mouth, while holding my finger to my mouth in a 'silence' way.

"Be quiet," I commanded him "we're close to the gates and you'll blow my cover

"Why? I don't see anything" he calmly said while looking around

"Exactly. It's quiet, too quiet" I said. By now I expected some guards to be in the gardens and others to be guarding the gate, but when it came into sight, it wasn't guarded at all. Right now I had two options, go for the gate, or find another way out. The other ways out consisted in either climbing the wall, or somehow entering the sewers.

"Why are you narrating?" Discord suddenly asked "Right now you did it again"

"Sometimes, narrating things helps me to concentrate in the matter at hand I respond a little sheepishly, but then I get a scowl in the face "I told you to shut up. If you're coming with me, even if it was you the one that put me in this problem, you'll have to at least don't get in my way"

"But, what is the fun in all of this if it's not harder than the last time you went through this?" he said with a look that I didn't trust.

"It's already harder now that I can't talk. If you say that you saw everything that happened before then you should know that I got away from those ponies with the help of my voice more than half the time he looked amused and responded

"Yeah, you're right. But don't expect it back until you get to either Fillydelphia or Las Pegasus" I gave him a confused look

"Those are the other two options I had before that city that got halfway destroyed, right?" he nodded. I sighed at the long way I had ahead.

It has been like half a hour and my suspiciousness about a trap was confirmed because still no guards were at the gates, but now there were guards close by. I still had no ideas in my mind to get them to exit their hiding spot, and frankly, I was starting to lose my patience. I was under some trees, so I couldn't be seen from the sky. That was good because if they send Rainbow Dash then she wouldn't be able to see me, but if the princesses or Twilight come here then I'll have no way of getting away.

I was calmly sitting in the ground until Discord yelled

"Enough! If you're not doing anything then I'll make you do something" apparently his shout was enough for more than startling me, because some birds flew away scared too, then some guards found us. He then proceeded to teleport me to the gates, and as I knew before, there was half the Royal Guard waiting for me there. They didn't expect me to appear so suddenly, and I took that chance to start running.

They saw me running and then they chased me. Thanks to their armor, they were slowed enough to not catch up with me, and they would probably have never done that if it wasn't for the fact that I ran into something when a flash blinded me for some seconds. When I saw what it was, I saw the Princess Celestia standing next to me, her horn glowing and next thing I know is that I'm knocked out by some kind of magic.

Comments

[mercva]

His patron saint HAS to be Bugs Bunny. No one else is that good at talking his way out of trouble.

Funny stuff, but Discord failed to remember one thing -- favouring one side too much leads to a sense of order in your actions.

[shadowblade]

921531lol

[syndrose]

985340
he's got a good point.