• Member Since 8th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Jul 17th, 2017


Everyday writer for your needs.

Comments ( 330 )

ummmm wow it was good i will say unexpected but good :eeyup: and you earned a moustache :moustache:

After I finished reading this, my bowls went back to normal, my lungs didn't burn, and my heart stopped racing. Then I farted. The loudest fart I have ever cut. Thank you.:scootangel:


Pretty much my reaction to this. Yup, I was disturbed, and I blame nobody but myself. At first, I was wondering how you could mix sex and gore, but this... this is well written horror.

What Chrysalis did was beyond evil. It's just... it's just... :applecry: Now I need to read a comedy or something.

Fluttershy... :fluttercry:
AND HER... husbandy boyfriend thing :eeyup:

WH-ha-hyy?!?! :fluttercry:

in other words,
Congratulations, you nearly made me cry with this wonderfully written gore-fic! xD :twilightsmile:


I'm not sure if this was one of those things that are different from culture to culture, but there are a few cases where, instead of "anus," it reads "anal." "Once it dug deeper to enlarge the rest of her warm anal,"
Now if you will excuse me, I have to purge my mind with fire and salt, and also ponder why I found this fic perfectly normal.

Jesus filly fucking christ that title was the most misleading thing in the fucking world...


Pure genius, my friend.

Nice story too.

What you've created here is art. Don't think otherwise, no matter what people may say. And I'm quite sure a lot of people are going to hate this simply because its a gore-fic. What they don't see is that this is really art, you've painted a truly horrifying, disgusting scene and that takes true talent. Your writing gives just enough description, allowing the reader to visualize these terrible scenes. You've also added a lot of depth, instead of simply making one of the characters evil you used an already established villain, making the story much more believable.

To those that think this story and its author should go die in a hole for creating such a horrifying story, leave. Don't down rate a gore fic simply because its a gore fic, if its not your thing then just don't read it.

This will get many downvotes due to the content.

But really, this is phenomenal. Proper gore and sex mixed together... also the screaming tentacle was a nice touch.:eeyup:


One can still criticize art. We do not live in a dictatorship. If something is disgusting, we can say so.

It's also a consumer issue. If there was a focus group, you're allowed to downvote something just on the way it looks. Downvoting is your right as a user, for any personal reason.

So... take your artistic anarchism and find a place where there are actual rules demanding that no one say bad things about an artpiece.

I approve as this made me laugh in joy

Well, it is a thing. Controvery means ratings, and the anti-conformists will be here shortly to say nice things for the sake of being in line with their stance to be rigidly against convention. But, of all the thigns I've read... it's not even that shocking of a trolling gore story. Adding the unborn murder isn't even a shock, and it's sad that I can say that. So, you're there in the middle of the road of gleeful adolescents imitating a point via blood and shock.

Calm down. All he's saying is that this story will get a lot of downvotes simply because there are people who don't like this kind of story, but they read it anyway and instead of considering how the author writes and gets you to visualize things, they hate on the basis that they do not like gore. All of you who are downvoting simply because it's gory, why are you here? If you don't like gore, why must you read it if all you are going to do is downvote it? All this does is make people think that the story is badly written, when, in fact, this writing is masterful and it makes the author sometimes feel like they did a poor job at creating the story.


I'm not saying one can't downvote something, or even criticize it. As readers they have every right to do so. But when someone reads something, then dislikes it simply because it doesn't fit with their interests, well... That's were you run into problems.

What should be rated is the writing itself, not if the idea appeals to you or not. Say if you hate romance movies, don't go into one and simply criticize it because you hate the genre. Criticize it for the plot, the acting or the dialogue, but please don't hate it just because its a romance movie...

Anything can be art, but that doesn't make it good, meaningful art.

Art is something that can cause a cultural and emotional impact. Did this story move me? No, no it did not. All I see here is a gore-fic that brings absolutely nothing new to the table, a bloated block of prose that oozes nothing but superfluous gore and infanticide. Sure, it's written relatively well, but the content is mediocre at best.

To me, a good gore-fic is one that barely uses any at all, but gives the reader a feeling of both suspense and unpredictability. This story was so damn predictable that you could see the ending from space.

im not one for tentacle hentai (seriously what-the-hell people who like it, freaks) this was well written

also this fic makes no sense whatsoever. Seriously, Chrysalis? Really? If shes that fucking hardcore what the fuck stopped her from infecting someone in canterlot or multiple ponies in canterlot and ponyville? What stopped her from outright killing celestia and candence and twilight when they lied in defeat? And its not like her changlings freaking died...actually they probably did but if they died of starvation shouldnt have Chrysalis died as well.

All in all this would have made sense if lets say twilight came upon a tome that contained an "eldritch abomination" and with all eldritch abominations they really mess you up or outright destroy your mind leaving you an empty husk to be used as an avatar. And lets say that this abomination cycled through twilights memories before "emptying her out" and saw a recent memory of fluttershy pregnant and saw an oppertunity to make more of himself to spread around.

Plot - crap
Grammar - great

Please excuse me while I gouge out my heart and scream to death.

Honestly, this has some great artistic merit. You managed to create a masterpiece of MLP horror, yet at the same time the beast you created seem to have run out of control. Some part of me died while reading this, and I rest assured that right now, thousands of bronies cower in fear in a dark corner.

The title to this was just... wrong.... I could see it coming, but I just kept hoping it would just throw her into labor then leave or something...


Dalek Shy: APOLOGIES, IT FELT GOOD......:twilightsmile:
Dalek Sparkle:....... :rainbowderp:

good job...

you made me throw-up...

now i have to clean my desk...

after i finish reading...

Shit...it didn't work...here's the link anyway.

Okay. Is anybody gonna freak out if I eat the remains?

OK if you cut out the part where things die and things get eaten, this would be about 17365815588158725 times as acceptable in my opinion

I like this simply because I like nasty sadistic stuff. It amuses me. That said, there were places where the wording and grammar were awkward, and made me suspect that the author learned English as a second language (not that that's a bad thing).
The most glaring two errors I can think of are "anal" and "bowl." You only use anal as an adjective. As a noun, that particular organ is the "anus." "Bowl" should be "bowel." Heh, look at me reading a gorefic about a Japanese abortion, and the thing that bothers me most is errors in syntax.

i kept my poker face on til the end, because i just wasn't affected, until i read the part that fluttershy was dead :raritycry:

Thank you for the fuel for my next month of nightmares. Also that was Chrysalis at the end wasn't it, not Twilight.

*Cough* Wow... that was horrible in the good sense. Honestly, I was going to pass this over simply because of the negative ratings, but I'm 'glad' I didn't. This was very well written and got more of a response from me then Cupcakes and others have. You have my thumbs up. Now, excuse me while I go look up kittens being cute.

I enjoyed it, but now I want to forget the last five or ten minutes.

Okay... Here is my honest opinion about your fanfic. I hate your guts so much for having to do that to Fluttershy, the most kind and timid, as well as fragile, pony in all of Ponyville. It killed me inside to read her getting raped very painfully and then having her womb ripped open just so that her foal could devoured. :twilightangry2:

However..... You are an excellent writter and were able to put such a horrific scene in my mind that litterally blew my mind. There were so many different scenes to describe with an unamountable intake of detail that left me speechless. I did not find this arrousing in the slightest, but found myself able to actually believe in something so horrific that was happening. Most people who read this probably wouldn't see this or understand this, but I do. :trixieshiftright:

The plot was solid, the actions that took place were projected and the ending was priceless. I proudly (yet angerly) tip my hat to you sir :moustache:

Time for a cookout. The main course is raw pegasus skins. For desert there's fillet of unborn pony. For appetizers there are fried colt apple pie. And there's much else for consumption. Drinks include urine, organ fluids, semen, blood, tears, sweat and anything else in the dead creatures. For entertainment there are live changelings that will do battle against all pregnant creatures who attend. There we will also send the souls of all who fell victim to the changelings previously (ALL) to Hell where they will be tortured in ways even more unimaginable than those in this story, but non stop for all eternity. No charge, as long as you help with entertainment.

this bothered me to no end. i have no idea why i even read through it all.

I knew Chrysalis had something to do with it!

I shall slay you, creature! If only you were for reeeeeeal!

((I felt so bad for poor fluttershy that I thumbed this up...


812493 Holy goodness, I totally missed that. By the way I'm not native English or american, I'm Swedish. Thanks for pointing out that hardcore error, man. Fixed it :scootangel:
812490.... and 17365815588158725 times more boring and pointless...

And thanks to all you others for the comments, even those who didn't like it and had some serious opinions. I love you all :heart:

I think I feel sick now... I really shouldn't have read this :pinkiesick:

It was very well written though, I just have to say that I was very... Very disturbed by this :pinkiesick:

Poor Fluttershy :fluttershysad:

More chapters NOW!

Stop killing Fluttershy! Jesus dude.

Chrysalis couldn't act her way out of a wet paper bag, her magic is green, changelings don't work like that, no one loves here there in Ponyville so she wouldn't have any power, why didn't Fluttershy just fly away, pegasai are stronger than that (one lifter half a ton with her wings), etc. Grammar is decent, but the actual story is levels of Cupcakes, where it's basically "Look at me I did a gore story LOOK AT ME aren't you offended?!" Not to mention that this is suppose to be sexy baffles me. It's trying way to hard to be gory, and it fails. I didn't feel anything (not disgust, fear, nothing).

You know I wasn't sure if I should read this at first and today I did, although I had to step away from it for about half an hour before I could continue. I would've sat through the whole thing in one go but my stomach was twisting in a knot and I would've preferred not to strain it anymore than it already was. But I must admit I was sickened by this :pinkiesick: but at the same time very impressed with your writing. :rainbowderp: As bucked up as this was it was fantastically written :twilightsmile: . I could actually picture these things happening (wanting to is another story). I give this story an A+ :twilightsmile: for originality. I wouldn't recommend this to any hardcore Fluttershy fans though :fluttercry: because of the nature of the story. A lot of people are disgusted by this story but I...somewhat enjoyed it. Whether that's a good or bad thing...well...I'll decide that later. :unsuresweetie:

814879 that's okay, man. As I mentioned in the AN, this was my first try on a gore-fic. It was more of an experiment to see where my limits go. And different people have different tastes. Some people already said this turned them on while others are crying on facebook that this was worse than cupcakes.
And I totally respect your opinion, man :raritywink:

814930 and thanks to you too, man. I'm glad people approves my writing style :pinkiehappy:

this... this... iss BEAUTIFUL


take my troll stamp it may not be a trollfic but it made everyone sick I LOVE IT

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