• Member Since 28th Jul, 2016
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Saberking2012


Would love to have more followers, readers and (constructive) criticism. Please and thank you.

E

A simple night can change when you have a friend in need. Even something as simple as being there can change a fillies life

I would like to thank SupahHero for the proofreading.
I also want to thank Elec,OleGrayMare and Sparkletop Rainbows for catching my mistakes. It means a lot.

If you like this, give my other stories a shot if you want.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 45 )

I liked it very much!

7546404 Thanks. Glad you liked it. What about it did you like may I ask?

Just as I like it, short and sweet. :yay:

There's some grammar errors though that needs editing.

I looked outside and saw that it was pouring hard as lightning continued to fall.

That should be like this instead.

I looked outside and saw that it was pouring hard as lightning flashed in the sky.

Next up, we have another error.

I opened the door to find a fully standing in front of me.

That should be "filly". Do you type fast?

The filly was in her pajamas and was holding a pillow.

"And she was holding a pillow." Though I don't know if that should be like that, but I feel it should have it.

After I few seconds, I realized that it was Fluttershy.

And finally, it should be, "After a few seconds,".

As I said before, the story needs some editing. But in the end, it is a sweet story showcasing the sisterly bond of Rainbow and Fluttershy. Keep up the good work. :twilightsmile:

Aww. Stories that give these two a sisterly relationship always warm my heart.:yay:

It's so FLUFFY! :rainbowkiss: :yay:

7546410 I like how you wrote from Dash's perspective.^^

I really only have one thing to say about this fic...

d'awwww

7546559
7546609
7546793
7547156 First, I want to say thanks:twilightsmile:. Next, I want to apologize for the cruddy mistakes on my fic but I'm glad you liked it. I hope to continue making them better

7546559 Also, yea... my bad. I spoted some of the mistakes right off the bat but forgot to edit them. Ty for the heads up. You will be credited.

7547020 Thanks. I wasn't sure if I wrote her correctly but glad it paid off:twilightsheepish:

7548133 Thanks. I'm glad you liked it:twilightsmile:. It was something I just thought of:rainbowkiss:

Sweet, if a bit dreamlike/unreal: where are their parents in all this? And do Dash and Fluttershy live in the same house, for otherwise how did she (and her pillow) get over there without getting wet? (Could be an apartment building, I guess, but unless nobody locks their doors how does she get to RD's bedroom?)

(Yes, I am a terrible nitpicker. :fluttershysad: )

7548791

Sweet, if a bit dreamlike/unreal: where are their parents in all this?

That... I didn't think about. I was just focused on those two so I never took it into account:facehoof:. But... yea I got nothing. Sorry to disappoint.

And do Dash and Fluttershy live in the same house, for otherwise how did she (and her pillow) get over there without getting wet?

No they don't... Ah, I failed in the realistic part:facehoof:.

(Yes, I am a terrible nitpicker. :fluttershysad: )

No, it's fine. It just pokes hopes into my logic:facehoof:. Well, aside that screw up, how was it overall?

7548806

Ah, don't facehoof over it. It's a sweet bit of fluff, and from the reviews it seems most don't have my problems with it. Makes me wish the show did some more Fluttershy-Rainbow Dash friend-shipping... :pinkiesmile:

7548830 well, shipping might be a bit doing it. Unless you mean a different version of it. Also, glad you liked it

7548837

I thought the term "friend-shipping" meant a fic showing two ponies interacting in a manner demonstrating their close friendship while just plain "shipping" meant showing them hooking up? Perhaps my fanfic terminology knowledge isn't what it should be.

7548847 No, its fine. I just heard that and think of the other version of shipping. God knows there is enough of that:facehoof:

7548102 If you didn't mind. Maybe you'd like to read my story? It's about Spike and Twilight.

It was really cute and sweet, and I like that they act their age, being fillies here. I do wonder, does this take place at flight camp, or...?

The picture was cute and the story was diabetes in word format. I loved it

7549211I don't mind. I'll add it to read later list.

7550002 Nope although I can see why you say that. Thanks for liking it.:twilightsheepish:

7550083 Thanks. Glad you liked it.:twilightsheepish:

A close friendship from the beginning,"Yay." That was a cute story, thank you for writing it.:yay:

7553884 no problem. Thank you for liking it.

This is a Twilight's Reviews review.

I've seen very few grammar mistakes, so the the grammar's pretty decent. Perhaps you could have included a few details, like explaining where Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were or how Flluttershy found Rainbow Dash. Overall, this story's a pretty good for a short, sweet story.

7588835 A)Thanks for the review(a bit short but that's fine). B)Where what are the grammar issues? I will fix them. Also, not an excuse but I did lower their vocab since they are fillies after all. C)Witch folder is it in? D)

Perhaps you could have included a few details, like explaining where Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were or how Flluttershy found Rainbow Dash.

I thought it was explained:facehoof:. Well to answer your question, The setting is Rainbow Dash's house. I think you can get the rest of what I mean.

*edit*- Nvm C. I just saw it. It seems even my best isn't good enough:fluttershyouch:. Well, that just means I will have to try harder(if that's possible)

7588843

It's in the Good Reads folder.

The grammar mistakes were:

"What are you doing here? It's pretty late, you know." I said, rubbing my eyes.
You need a comma at the end instead of a period.

I sighed and said "Ok, come in."
You need a comma after "said", and you should write out "Ok" or just write it as "OK".

"Good night." I said, smiling.
You should put a comma instead of a period.

"Morning, Rainbow Dash.” She said happily.
You need a comma instead of a period.

The following sentences also have the same problem, but I won't list them since it would be too much.

7588863 That many mistakes...? And I thought I was getting better.:facehoof:. Thanks for the info. I will correct them right now

As you noticed last month, I reviewed this story. My apologies for taking so long to comment over here -- no snub intended; I'm just very slow! Anyway, this is cute and gentle filly FlutterDash friendshipping, and that's always good. On the downside, there isn't a lot of actual substance to it. Even so, with a tad more proofreading it would be a nice fic to read when you just want something adorable.

7743380 A) I understand. You were busy so I'm OK with that. B) Thanks. It's was a starting fic. I was surprised it well we'll revived despite it only being my 3rd fic. I realize the flaws but overall, as long as the message gets across, I'm OK with that. My other stories are much better then this one so don't worry. I do have to ask though... Did you like or dislike it because of the lack of substance?

7743462 Thank you for replying! I actually no-voted this one, but it's closer to an upvote than a downvote. If you think of it as a scale, with an upvote at +10 and a downvote at -10, this is about +5 for me. It would have had a like if a tiny bit more had actually happened and the technical errors had been fixed.

If I were to read another of your stories, are there any in particular that you'd recommend?

7743487 Um... Any if my newer stories really. Mostly because A)they are better and B) they have better stories/morals(of course, that's just me). I hope to not disappoint. If you review them, plz inform me(if it's outside off fimfic). The more detailed, the more I can improve. I thank you for the review and I'm sorry it wasn't any better

7743668 Okay, I'll probably look at one of your EqG stories, since I've been meaning to read a few more of those. And I'll try my best to mention it when I review it! It'll be a while, though, since my Read it Later list currently has nearly 500 fics on it... :rainbowwild:

Also, thank you for your interesting comments. That sort of thing always makes me feel more positive about an author, and more likely to read their other fics. :twilightsmile:

7743778 A) I understand. B) I hope they are good to you. I await your review sir/madam.

7743965 No worries -- and thanks for the watch, too. :twilightsmile:

7743975 No problem. It's the least I can do for the review/thoughts.

I gave this story a review here.

If you fixed the spelling issues I was talking about, the score'd rise to a close 50.

That cute! I really love this story already

Rather short, but it wasn't bad. I love shipping friend-shipping! Needed something rather quick, and I figured I might as well go in order of release (that way the improvement is real there).

Pro: Fluff, realistic nature of characters, shipping friendship. (More pros, not enough time.)

Con: Lack of material, not shipping, grammar...

And link to review shall go here. I'm trying something new to save the amount of comments.

Not too bad, nice and fluffy.

8449037 Oh? My mistake. Still, I'm glad you read it and enjoyed it overall.

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