No redemption.

by zman123

A new beginning.

April 23

"Give Lightning Dust the second chance she deserves" declared Soarin, pointing accusingly at Spitfire.

For a second I thought I saw doubt in Spitfire's eyes, but that second was brief as she replied with a quiet rage in her impatient voice "No Soarin. I cannot. What Lightning Dust did was too unforgivable. We can't have remorseless cadets like her in our team. She's a danger to herself and other ponies."

I fully expected Soarin in that moment to lash out in a fearsome rage. But instead of replying to Spitfire, he turned to me with his head hung low.

"I'm sorry Spitfire put you through all this Lightning" he said, in an almost breaking whisper "I'm sorry. You were right Lightning Dust, you weren't completely to blame. You don't deserve this. I'm sorry."

Then he turned back to Spitfire. "Lightning Dust was right. You did abandon me at the games simply to replace me with Rainbow Dash. You did try to make the other team lose by cheating. And yes Spitfire, you did make me very upset with what you did to me."

He covered his face, clearly deep in thought. "I wonder if you really still care about me as your friend Spitfire. Actually, I wonder Spitfire if you even remember what being a Wonderbolt actually means. Because this is not how Wonderbolts treat each other. This isn't the way.
This isn't justice Spitfire. This is hypocrisy. This is abuse."

Spitfire scrunched up her face and looked away from Soarin.

But Soarin wasn't finished. "Did you actually think any of this through Spitfire? Do you really care about any of your students? Or your friends even?"

Spitfire avoided eye contact.

"Answer me Spitfire" he demanded. "Answer me or I'll quit and never come back ever again. Answer me or I'll tell everyone what you did at the Equestria games. They might not believe Lightning Dust now that you've ruined her reputation Spitfire, but I'm sure they'll listen to me."

Spitfire managed with an effort to look at Soarin once again. She glared with a tired eye that wanted to see nothing and no pony. It was clear she wasn't ready for any of these questions.

"You, You're my friend Soarin" she managed to reply eventually "Why would I do anything like that to you?"

"Don't bother trying to comfort me or apologise Spitfire" scolded Soarin in a cold monotone "And don't patronise me either. Instead, if you really have any regret over what you've done to me or poor Lightning, you'll give Lightning her second chance. Give Lightning her place at the academy back and I'll forgive you for everything Spitfire. If Rainbow Dash got her second chance, so should Lightning. Lightning didn't intentionally do anything wrong. It was simply bad luck that those ponies were flying past at such a bad time. It wasn't all Lightning's fault at all. Those ponies shouldn't have been where they were and Rainbow Dash should have had the common sense to not go along with Lightning's plan. It's true she didn't want to go along with it, but she did so anyway. That's still wrong."

I had listened so far in complete silence, watching with utter disbelief at what I was seeing. Soarin, merely a junior officer was the one analysing the situation reasonably while Spitfire, the one who should have taken charge, was at an utter loss for words. Soarin was at least trying to be reasonable while Spitfire was simply rudely shrugging all of his complaints off and still trying to maintain a facade that had crumbled long ago.

I allowed myself a brief moment to curse myself for not admiring Soarin more than I already did.

But I didn't want a place in the Wonderbolts again. If Spitfire, the commander who was supposed to know how to deal with problems like this fairly and reasonably needed a lecture on how to deal with problems like this fairly and reasonably, it was no wonder why the Wonderbolts weren't very successful. It was no wonder why so many times in the past, as Fluttershy put it, they did more harm than good while trying to perform anything other than the acrobatic stunt shows they were only meant to perform when there was no danger that required their presence.

It explained everything. It was all coming together now. The reason why Spitfire did not help with the hurricane that was needed to get the water to cloudsdale. The reason why there could be so few recruits at one time in the Wonderbolts. And the reason why so many times when the Wonderbolts tried to tackle a problem they should easily have been able to solve as elite flyers, like rescuing that pony at the young flyers competition or stopping that dragon which was terrorising Ponyville, they failed horribly.

The Wonderbolts, an elite team built upon trust and mutual cooperation between its members, had no good leadership.

Spitfire wasn't a good leader. She had probably attained her position with little effort and probably upstaged Soarin despite how clear it was to me, how much better a leader he would have made than Spitfire. Perhaps it was another case of that fiasco in Manehattan, which Fluttershy told me about, where that fashion designer Suri took all the credit for the dresses someone else designed, and made her poor assistant do all the work while she basked in all the glory and success.

My admiration for Fluttershy only grew as I reflected on all that I had heard. She had not only helped me when no pony else wanted anything to do with me. She had not only accepted me for who I was, and given me confidence in myself which I had lost so very long ago. Now I realised, she had helped me to see the truth which I had been blind to for so long.

I realised now that only now that I truly understood, could I actually begin to reform. To set right what I had done wrong. To redeem in the future what I failed at in the past. And my hatred for the world that abused poor Fluttershy, turned to disgust and pity. Pity that they chose to ignore the words of an introverted, timid yet shrewd and knowing sage. Pity that they refused to let ponies like her who were much better suited to lead, to lead and to instead give the role of leader to more brash yet less able, less kind and more lazy Ponies like Celestia, like Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash, and Spitfire.

Ponies who were all talk and bragging. Ponies like the mentor who had betrayed me to my face when it suited her.

Spitfire had forgotten that as a teacher, it was her job to teach me.
But I learned far more from Indigo Zap and Fluttershy than from Spitfire.

Spitfire didn't deserve me as her student, just as Suri didn't deserve Coco Pommel as her assistant.

And she needed to know that.

I raised my hoof cautiously.

"I, I'm sorry Soarin" I said "But I don't want to be a Wonderbolt again."

"Well good, cause your not going to be." replied Spitfire smugly.

"N, no that's not what I meant. That's not what I meant. I'm sorry."

Soarin silenced Spitfire with a glance. "Listen to what she has to say Spitfire. She has a right to give her opinion."

And he gestured for me to speak.

"I don't want to be a Wonderbolt anymore" I stated, trying very hard not to cry "Because I don't deserve to. I had my chance and I failed. I failed you. For that I apologise. Not every pony has what it takes to be a Wonderbolt. And I certainly don't."

"But I thought being a Wonderbolt was your life's ambition" protested Soarin, clearly shocked by my words "We can give you another chance Lightning Dust. Isn't that what you've been wanting. Another chance. It'll be alright, we'll forgive you for that tornado and pretend it never happened."

"You might forgive me Soarin" I admitted "But Spitfire doesn't. It would only make her uncomfortable if I came back, and I could never do that. I've upset her enough. And I certainly don't forgive myself. I can't get over the guilt now or ever. It doesn't matter whether it was deliberate or not on my part, but either way I was wrong. And I don't want to get over it. To get over what I did, would mean to forgive myself completely and to say I was in the right and every pony else who accused me was in the wrong, which I don't want"

"No. No don't put yourself down like that Dusty" begged Soarin "If you don't forgive yourself, you'll be sad for the rest of your life."

"It would be selfish to forgive myself. I know I'm not the element of generosity, but even I know that selfishness is bad."

"You're not the selfish one Lightning Dust. Spitfire's the selfish one for kicking you out the way she did."

I shake my head "I didn't come to the Wonderbolts academy to learn that killing others whether intentional or not, is a bad thing. I knew that already. And besides, mistakes make us who we are. And if we don't learn from our mistakes, we'll just end up repeating them. I've made my share of mistakes here, there's no reason why successful ponies like you and Spitfire couldn't have made some too. (I'm not the element of honesty, but it doesn't take the element of honesty to know that there's no point in pretending to be some pony your not. A lot of ponies have tried that. Of the top of my head I think of Applejack, Fluttershy's friend and the element of honesty when she tried to move to the city and stayed there despite missing her family greatly)".

"I only wanted to make Spitfire happy Soarin" I insisted "Ever since I came here, Spitfire was the closest thing I had to a family. She taught me everything I know now. She made me the pony I was today."

"Spitfire mistreated you" protested Soarin "She kicked you out for no good reason."

I shook my head "My friend Indigo Zap was only trying to defend Sour Sweet from the bullies who would surely have done horrible things to her if Indigo hadn't intervened. And Indigo only did what she had to do because no pony else believed Sour Sweet or her when they tried to report the bullying. And Spitfire was willing to believe the bullies over Indigo. She didn't even give Indigo a chance to tell her side of the story. Thus, I hold no grudge against Spitfire. She was just following rules."

"But don't you value your dream of being a Wonderbolt?" begged Soarin, clearly pleading with me now. "Don't tell me you're just going to leave your dreams behind because of one small mistake."

I smile slightly. "I value my dream much more now than I ever did. It was when I was still in the academy that I didn't value my dreams."

"What do you mean?"

"I took my dream for granted and was never thankful for having so much. It was only when I had them taken away from me that I realised how much the meant to me. Just as how I only realise my actions were wrong now that some pony has pointed my mistake out to me. (Like many other more generic villains, now that I've lost everything, I believe in the saying "Only know you've been high when you're feeling low") I'm sorry."

Soarin nodded slowly, clearly still surprised.

"So what will you do now?" he asked.

"Nothing because she's going back to her cell right this instant" shouted Spitfire.

I nod. My only regret was that I wouldn't be able to stay with Fluttershy or apologise to Twilight and the others.

"Very well." I agreed, as I waited for the guard outside to grab hold of me again.

But then a loud banging from the front door was heard.

Spitfire ignored it.

The banging continued, louder and louder.

Spitfire sighed. "Go answer it" .

Soarin very reluctantly left the room, still looking at me apologetically.

Two guards came in and took my tightly by both my forelegs. "Walk" they declared, and I slowly went.

The guards led me to the front entrance.

What I next saw, I had to rub my eyes to make sure I was not dreaming. This wasn't possible.

Fluttershy stood outside, glaring at Spitfire angrily. And beside her stood Princess Celestia and a large group of her royal guards clad in their golden armour.

Princess Celestia said no words, but handed Spitfire a piece of parchment.

Spitfire took it, stared at it for a few seconds, before scowling as she brought the paper away from her eyes.

I looked at Fluttershy, who nodded back at me and smiled.

Spitfire very reluctantly showed the paper to me.

I took it and the contents shocked me.

"This is to certify that the convict Lightning Dust has been pardoned of all crimes prior to this day. All evidence collected on this individual will be amended appropriately."
It was signed by Celestia.

"Lightning Dust has suffered enough hardship for her crimes as it is" explained Celestia sadly. "It would be cruel and demeaning for her to suffer any worse. It would be hypocritical of me as a ruler of this fair land, to allow this cruel treatment to continue any longer. And I have been convinced by my good and reliable subject Fluttershy that Lightning is indeed repentant of her crimes. And furthermore, we hold these truths to be self evident, that all ponies are created equal and that they are endowed by certain unalienable rights, which among them are life liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

She now turned to me. "I am deeply regretful of the treatment you have received at the hands of your mentor" she apologised, looking deeply into my shaking eyes. "For that I offer my most sincere apologies.". I only nod, unsure of how to greet Princess Celestia.

She then turned back to Spitfire and Soarin. "Lightning Dust has always been our friend. And from this day forth, she shall be treated as such. As a ruler, I realise that though it is hard to apologise, it is harder still to forgive. But I, after seeing the case as presented to me by dear Fluttershy, have decided to forgive Lightning for her actions. Equestria is a land of friendship. A land where Ponies love and tolerate each other, and that begins with forgiving one another for our failings. And I wish you to see to it that Lightning is given all that is owed her, and that she is an outcast no longer. Like Starlight, like my dear pupil Sunset, my dear sister and many other of my faithful subjects, she made her fair share of mistakes, but she paid for them and feels genuine regret."

"Lightning's crimes were an unfortunate accident, and had I been informed sooner, this might never have happened to her. The least we can do now is to give her the second chance she has been waiting so long for."

I didn't wait for Spitfire to speak. I nodded apologetically and took the piece of paper from her hoof and humbly held it up.

And as I looked back at the Wonderbolts academy, I said goodbye.

Goodbye to the old Lightning Dust who in a way, really did die that day in prison.

I asked only to be forgiven by Fluttershy. But Fluttershy's kindness did not stop there.

Now she had given me the last thing I could have dared to ask for.

Now she had given me a chance to redeem.

To redeem in the future where I had gone wrong in the past.

To show the world that who I am is not who I would always be.

But most of all, to show myself, that maybe, just maybe, it was still not too late for me.

That maybe if I took to heart my mistakes, that maybe I could still choose.

But I was not alone. Fluttershy would help me. Would support me, would guide me like a teacher ought to guide students.

But her friends, that was a different story.

Her friends were not the element of kindness.

Comments

[Fireheart 1945]

Well, at least Lightning doesn't have to go back to jail now. Phew.

[Fire Seeker12]

Finally getting off your flank and doing something Celestia.