The Pigeon Pony

by zalla661

Pegasus Bread Marital Offering: Lesson one

Octavia stared at the great assortment of tomes, scrolls, and books Princess Twilight had laying around in a somewhat orderly fashion that littered her home. Vinyl sat quietly by as Twilight came out from the bathroom with her mane done up in a bun and had tiny cute glasses on her barrel.

Vinyl whistled at the purple alicorn pumping her hoof inte air. Twilight smiled and blushed while Octavia scolded her white unicorn friend for making a, ‘cat call’ to a Princess.

“Alright class!” Twilight opened up pointing at a board with a point-stick. “Today’s lesson is about pegasus marital culture!”

Twilight used her magic to flip the first page of the board paper to show a picture of a pegasus figure. It was grey and genderless with wings, a body, head, and nothing else save for a few darker grey spots on the hooves and wing feathers. Octavia watched giving her undivided attention while Princess Twilight gave her lecture. If this was going to help clear things up for Octavia she had to soak as much up as she could.

“As you can see, this i s a pegasus. Now Octavia, do you know where pegasi come from?” Twilight asked.

Octavia shook her head indicating she had no idea. Twilight nodded with kind smile.

“It figures. It’s not something Pegasi are very open about. As it turns out pegasi are in fact related to pigeons, as discovered by Clover the Clever,” Twilight pulled out a large dusty tome and opened it and began to read aloud. “Long long ago there was a kingdom in a far away land where there were earth ponies and unicorns. In this land there was a struggle to control the weather. As unicorns had to use their magic to control the weather it changed the very clouds and types of storms they made. A simple twister could turn into a raging tornado of a light sprinkle would change to a raging downpour flooding crops.

Twilight paused to catch her breath and give the two other ponies time to let the info sink in.

“One unicorn discovered a way to control the weather by other means. Her name was Evermist. She wasn’t by means a powerful unicorn but she did know a lot about alchemy and transfiguration.”

Twilight paused to breath again before continuing.

“One day Evermist found a way to control the weather by infusing herself with the natural magic of the most naturally magical bird in all of Equestria, the pigeon….”

“Wait wait wait!” Octavia interrupted Twilight.

Both Vinyl and Twilight stared at Octavia for her sudden outburst.

“You mean to tell me the reason pegasi exist is because a unicorn wanted to solve weather problems, by fusing with a pigeon? A flying rat? The most magical of all birds are those annoying things- annoying…. Poop-hawks?” Octavia blurted out trying to find a non-colorful metaphor to say.

Twilight chuckled as did Vinyl.

“Yes, when you put it like that it does sound silly,” Twilight said putting the book down and went to the board.

She summon a large black pen and drew a diagram of a unicorn and the outline of a pigeon.

“As it turns out, Evermist was the one who became the first pegasus long long ago. She managed to essentially start her own race. What she did was used the pigeons natural magical affinity and used it as the basis for her new form which was both resilient against harsh weather elements, which pigeons are,” Twilight said factually drawing clouds around the pigeon with lightning bolts poking it. “She also discovered that pigeons had a natural resilience to lightning which made it the optimal choice for her research., but that’s a completely different subject.”

Twilight then erased the drawings from the board and started drawing something else as she spoke, “What you need to know about is bread!”

“Bread?” Octavia deadpanned.

“Bread.” Twilight nodded, Vinyl imitated the Princess from behind. “In addition to birthing the pegasus race the idea of bread offerings to pigeons came to be. It was done during the time pegasi worshiped the pigeon like a pop star idol. Ponies would feed bread crumbs to the pigeons all day everyday. They are also why pigeons are a protected species!” Twilight added with a goofy grin.

Octavia buried her head in her hooves. She could feel her head throbbing from what she was hearing. She was really hoping this was some sort of bad dreams or an elaborate prank by Rainbow Dash and Vinyl. She always heard the saying, ‘you can’t handle the truth.” Turns out there's a reason for that saying, and not just as a cliche.

“Now Octavia, your problem is the bread marital offering you made,” Twilight said, conjuring up a loaf of bread with her magic and offering it to Octavia.

Taking the bread in her hooves Octavia inspected the bread before glancing up at Twilight.

“The act of giving a loaf of bread is a old pegasus custom that stemmed from the offering of bread to pigeons as a sign of friendship and goodwill,” Twilight said taking the bread and breaking it into two pieces and giving half the loaf back to Octavia. “

“Offering a half a loaf is like asking a pegasus to be a marefriend of stallion friend,” Twilight then gave the other half of bread to Octavia. “Offering a whole loaf is a confession of love and marriage.”

Octavia regarded the bread loafs feeling this was her wierdest day thus far. Never had she thought of such a custom that pegasi had. It was all so, strange to her. It baffled her in fact. Nothing about this whole thing made sense to her. Her entire perspective of the pegasus ponies was now changed forever, but she would have to deal with the historical dilemmas later. For now, she had a problem to fix.

Putting both halves of the bread down Octavia looked ot twilight and asked, “What should I do?”

Twilight smiled and offered a supportive hoof to Octavia. Octavia took the hoof and was gently rose up from her seat and guided by twilight to the door.

“”Tell Pigeon this whole thing was a misunderstanding and that you simply don’t have feelings for her,” Twilight suggested sagely.

“But, what if she just gets upset?” Octavia asked, worried about the repercussions.

“Octavia, there will always come a time when we unintentionally hurt other ponies. I did so with Trixie. Twice.”

Octavia sighed remembering the magician pony very well from her two encounters with Ponyville.

“I remember her,” Octavia sighed. “So, I should just tell Pigeon it’s all a misunderstanding and be done with it?”

Twilight frowned slightly at the earth pony as they walked through Ponyville towards Derpy and Pigeons home.

“I’m saying you should tell her, but you must be tactful about it. Pigeon and Derpy are both very emotional ponies,” Twilight warned her friend.

As they rounded a corner they approached a small house at the edge of town just a few streets from the path that lead to the Everfree Forest. The two ponies walked up to a single story house with two windows pacing the front on either side of the front door. In the front yard was a small garden with two large birdbaths that could easily hold a pony each.

As they approached Octavia thought about something that made her take pause. She looked around in the sky and asked twilight once she was sure nopony was around them, “Is Derpy’s muffin obsession have to do with pigeon related things I should know about?”

Twilight stifled a chuckle at Octavia’s question. Honestly though she couldn't blame her for wondering.

“Oh, don’t worry about Derpy. First off she’s one of the few pegasi who doesn’t follow that custom. Second, she just loves muffin,” Twilight answered Octavia. “Don’t worry, offering a muffin to Derpy is nothing more than an act of friendship. So long as you don’t make a confession to her while doing it.”

“Ah, I see,” Octavia said stopping at the door.

Adjusting her bowtie, Octavia looked at twilight who smiled and gestured for her to go on before adding, “Just be nice. Remember it was a simple misunderstanding. Pigeon will understand.”

Octavia acknowledged with a silent nod. Taking a deep breath she prepared herself for a huge firestorm and gave a firm knock on the door. A few seconds passed and there was no answer, so she knocked again with more power behind every strike. Just as she was about to knock a third time the door opened revealing the famous wall eyed Derpy. The light grey pegasus regarded Octavia for a moment before smiling and flew off into the house. A few moments later Pigeon came out with a surprised look seeing Octavia.

Before the pegasus could get a word out Octavia took one step forward and said to her, “Pigeon. Can we talk inside for a minute? I feel the need to clear up a misunderstanding between us.”

Author's Note:

Meh, not my best work, in fact I dare say this is probably the most random crap I've ever written. Why do things sound better in my head than after I write them!? Argh brain why you now fanfiction properly!

Well, in either case this little pet project is coming to a close next chapter, but I hope to those who read this enjoyed this silly bit of random I managed to conjure up on Pegasus culture. Because I can write!

So, that being said I'll save everyone a lot of trouble and give this to you for this chapter. Enjoy!