The Rise of Metal

by PanzerBrony Metallicom

Chapter 2 - My own little world

Alex didn’t feel any cold water. He felt like he is traveling through an empty void, with nothing to see and nothing to hear. It felt so wrong, but still so right at the same time. His emotions went crazy; fear, joy, happy- and sadness swarmed Alex’ numb body. His brain told him to do so many things at once, but he couldn’t even focus on one. Suddenly a bright light flashed before him and he had to cover his eyes to not be blinded right then and there.

When the light faded, Alex felt light like a feather. Sadly only for a moment before everyone’s worst enemy, gravity, took hold off him again. Like a huge rock had thrown upon him and its weight bringing him very fast down towards the hard ground. And hard the ground was, when Alex hit it, he could feel several bones of his body crack. Without any chance to compensate his free fall, his head unfortunately also impacted on the cold stone. On the impact all of his senses went numb instantly.

After a few moments he slowly awoke again. His ears ringing, his vision blurry and his head felt like it was going to explode any second. At least that was the massive headache he felt more than anything from his body. He tried to move but didn’t feel any reply. Where am I? was a question that formed in his brain. Alex slowly looked around, with the little movement his broken body still aloud him. He was laying on cold stone, inside of an old and destroyed castle. And from the looks of it, it seemed that this castle was placed inside of a big and scary forest.

Then his eyes caught sight of something strange. Six small figures stood against one every tall one. Because of his blurry eyesight he could only catch the colored outlines of said figures. The six were purple, pink, orange, cyan, white and yellow, the big one was black and it looked like it also had wings and a horn too. Suddenly light erupted from the small things and a rainbow was sent into the air above them. A bloody rainbow?! For real now? Alex questioned himself more and more where he currently was.

A very loud scream came from the black monster as it was engulfed in the rainbow and a few seconds later totally consumed. The scream rose higher and higher and Alex was trying his best to somehow cover his ears, because the higher the scream went, the higher was the pain he felt. Then the rainbow vanished, leaving a smaller blue figure behind. A few moments later Alex was blinded, as the sun rose above the horizon and filled the castle with very bright sunlight, to bright for his weak body and blurry eyesight. If Alex hadn’t closed his eyes just in time, they would have burned straight out of his eye sockets. Then another tall figure was standing in the castle; it was also white and warm sunlight surrounded it. The tall figure first seemed to talk to the little ones before making its way over to the small blue one, they shared a hug.

Without any warning Alex suddenly had to cough up very violently and loudly as he spat out some blood from his mouth. This is not good! he thought before his sight went out and his body numb. Then he heard a gasp and a shrieked “Oh my …”, before somebody else nearby screamed: “We need to get him to the hospital, NOW!” After that Alex world went dark again once more.

Author's Note:

Musical inspiration:

Comments

[Mocha Star]

I like the idea this offers, but it's so wordy and the descriptions don't make me feel like I'm experiencing anything.

[Sparkle Cola]

I can kind of agree with Mocha Star's point. All of the grammar and syntax can be helped, but the narrative remains far too attached. It almost feels like I am reading about a writer writing a story, instead of being there and experiencing the story... And there are bunches of HIE fics out there where the protagonist was going through some major drama and mess and fell into Equestria. How can you make this one distinct? I know you will go for a heavy metal angle, but your angle needs to be angled a little sooner, ya know?