• Published 3rd Sep 2016
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Nightmare: An Equestrian Tragedy - Meep the Changeling



Princess Luna tells her bodyguard her life story.

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Watchers in the Dark

Lunar Wing, Everfree Citidel - 15th of Chillfrost 1331 RH

3,864 Years Ago - The First Year

I never had much to do during the nights. It used to be that I slept, or played my dream magic to amuse myself or keep an eye on the surrounding countryside. But after our ascension, my sister and I learned that Alicorns only need sleep if they wish too. Our magic can more than replenish our bodies after a full day, though it does take some energy to do so.

We were young, and sleeping felt like wasting time. So we didn’t, ever. Not once for our first three centuries.

And as for my dream magic, well… It had been amplified to the same degree of Celestia’s talent. I could sense every dream in the world. I couldn’t make sense of it all back then. So I would rarely try. I went from knowing everything about the Dream Realm to realizing all I had known was my own bedroom. It was a greater change than gaining my sight.

With all the time available to me, I would read, catching up on education I could never have gotten before. I learned the art of commanding troops to perfection, at least with the tactics of the day and age. I taught myself sorcery and alchemy, and I also read books and scrolls on political theory.

Which is where the first real argument began. I had read a well-written scroll discussing the behavior of the Prench Aristocracy, and I wished to avoid Equestria turning into a puppet state ruled in truth by a corrupt nobility through a marionette of a king. In my mind, there were too many houses and nobles to keep track of between my sister and I, if we were to also manage the kingdom-wide issues.

So one day, before she opened the Day court, I brought her aside and proposed we found a Knight Order to help us police the nobility and ensure our laws were enforced as we had intended them to be.

Unfortunately, Celestia didn’t see the merits of the idea.

I sighed in frustration. Why could she not understand? The concept is absurdly simple to grasp!

“Sister, please,” I begged. “Listen once more. I shall try and use a parable to explain my point.”

Celestia rolled her eyes. “I understand your point. But there’s no reason to change anything. Lands are already parceled out individually. The land is not shared.”

You infantile lackwit! I grit my teeth, holding in a barbed remark about her lack of wisdom in spite of reading overmuch.

“Let us imagine a great field, rich in nutrients, perfect for growing all manner of plants,” I began. “This field is shared by three farmers who know their craft well. They all grow different crops, and in this case, all of them can share the same space without issue. Their crops may overlap-”

Celestia frowned. “So then… One is producing a fruit, another some sort of vine that can grow on the trees without harming them, and then say… Wheat between the trees?”

“It doesn't matter what they are growing. Only that they can share space,” I explained

Celestia nodded, seemingly understanding.

“Now, as I have said, the farmers are skilled. They know they have the most to gain by sharing the space evenly, then all may plant the most crops. Yet, they recognize that if any of them plant too many crops over all, there will not be enough nutrients in the soil, and not enough water delivered to the plants for them to all grow well,” I continued.

Celestia nodded again. “Yes, Luna. Land must be sectioned off so it can be managed properly. I understood all of this before. There’s no need for a parable.”

“That is not what I am trying to say!” I exclaimed. “Let us say that each farmer does equally well for themselves in this arrangement. They each make five thousand bits every year from their produce. Over time, the apple farmer decides to selfishly plant more apple trees in the field, despite the agreements made and his knowledge of the field’s limits. By doing this, he makes an additional five hundred bits that year.

“But now the field has too many plants within it, and the soil’s quality begins to suffer. Each plant is not quite as hearty and fit as they were the previous year, and so the farmers all loose money. Each farmer loses two hundred bits worth of produce. The Apple farmer, however, still has more money than the others. They have made four thousand eight hundred bits, he has still made the full five thousand he had before, and gained three hundred additional bits.”

Celestia frowned again. “Okay? But what is your point? That ponies get greedy? Of course they do.”

“I have not yet finished,” I explained. “The next year, the apple farmer, knowing he will make more despite his neighbors suffering, plants even more apple trees. The worth of the field’s produce drops yet again, but the apple farmer’s profits grow again. He makes five thousand and five hundred bits. His neighbors lose two hundred more bits and only make four thousand six hundred bits for that year.

“At this point, the other two farmers realize what is going on. They can not afford to continue losing money, for they must pay for their own expenses after all. Fearing losing their livelihoods, they also plant additional crops. Now the field is of so poor quality and nutrient starved that all the farmers are only able to produce enough crops to earn four thousand eight hundred bits each. Because of greed and fear, the value of that field has dropped by six hundred bits, despite holding more crops.”

“Okay, and the point of this whole thing is, what?” Celestia asked me.

Unbelievable! How can you not see the fault in our nation!?

“Greed is inevitable, and fear drives even the most sane and kind to acts they would never normally do. For these reasons, those who are in charge of land must be monitored by others who have the authority to prevent them from acting and to reverse actions they have made, lest those actions cause the value of a nation to drop,” I explained.

Celestia laughed, the sound of her hooves scraping on the stone as she stood up. “Luna, the two of us already exist. We are more than enough to keep the nobles in line. I have to attend Day court. To take care of this very problem. It’s already been solved, my silly sister.”

I stood there fuming at her as she left my chambers. Celestia, you damned fool! The two of us can not be everywhere at once. With but a word of agreement from you I could form a proper order of knights tasked with enforcing the Crown’s will upon the nobility, ensuring they acted for the good of all.

And yet, you seem foolishly content to allow everyone to feel happy despite such potential disasters…

“Feeling safe is not the same as being safe!” I called down the hall after her. “There will be matters we can not personally find!”

“You worry too much, Luna. Equestria will be fine,” Celestia called back before turning around with a sigh. “If worst comes to worst we have the Royal Guard. It’s strong, well trained, and well equipped. Your order would need to be elite warriors to be able to handle nobles who can afford the best training and the best guards.”

I nodded firmly. “Yes, it would. But-”

“We would need to reduce the size of the Royal Guard to make this order. It would get less gold. It would get the second best recruits. It would get less of our attention. This would greatly weaken our army. Luna, you are in charge of our army. You know how tight our budget for them is, you made it.”

“Yes, I do,” I admitted.

“How much would we need to reduce our forces by to fund a Knight Order?” She asked me.

“About one-fifth,” I answered.

“Not worth it,” Celestia said adamantly. “Not while the Changeling Empire still exists. Yes, they are not attacking us now. Yes, they seem to have calmed down after Clover’s victory over them. But they easily could rally and come at us again. We need a strong military.”

I saw the iron look in her eyes, and knew I would not win this debate of ours. Giving Celestia a nod I asked, “Very well, but in the event of our budget increasing, or the Empire dissolving, may I form this order?”

“Perhaps,” Celestia said with a sigh as she turned back around. “I must go to court now. You should attend for a while. There might be someone there who reports some of the very misdeeds you fear. I’m sure that would reassure you.”


Night Court, Canterlot - 8th of Solardusk 17 EoH

Present Day

Lyra shook her head slowly, the last few parts of Luna’s story refusing to settle in her mind. “Are you saying that Celestia believed that ponies with power and no oversight would just sort of, be good?” She asked, every word dripping with incredulity.

Luna sighed. “No,” she replied. “She believed the two of us was more than enough to oversee the aristocracy. The original intention of the Day and Night courts was to allow everyone, peasant or aristocrat to come and plead their cases to us no matter what time it was. Equestria was smaller then, much smaller. It would have been possible for a peasant to walk for a week at most and arrive in the Everfree to inform us of mistreatment. Oh, that’s where the capital was then. It wasn’t cursed yet.”

Lyra nodded, understanding Luna’s point fairly easily. “But you were looking ahead, and realized that once Equestria got bigger, that would be very hard to do,” she confirmed to herself.

“Yes,” Luna replied, shifting slightly in her throne as she attempted to get comfortable. “But more than that, I knew for a fact that not everypony would even know if their provincial leader was breaking a law. We are not all legal scholars. I also feared situations where ponies would be too afraid to act and come to us.

“I have alway seen it as better to root out evil and destroy it before it can do any more harm than to wait for it to grow large enough to announce its presence. Celestia is different. She would rather concentrate efforts and ensure her ponies feel safe and being ready to stop the problems as they come. Neither approach is wrong, I prefer offense, she prefers defense. While I do feel that true safety and vigilance is the key to prosperity, her way has done quite well. Better than I thought it would.”

“But you still don’t think you’re wrong,” Lyra finished for her.

“Quite. Only Celestia could achieve this with her reactionary methods. She is very skilled at what she does, Lyra. She used to always think the best of ponies and was confident that we would have fewer problems than we did. But, I admit her reasoning was sound. If we had created a proper Knighthood to police the nobility, it would have diminished our military strength rather significantly.

“We had much less resources at our disposal back then. Though I believe the remaining funds and recruits would have been enough to defend our nation. On the other hoof, we might not have been able to expand as much as we did. Certainly not as fast. Growth would have slowed, as when we vanquished Discord the land returned to the way it had been before he arrived. As if we finished a game and reset all the pieces to play again,” Luna mused.

“But you think that would be worth better behaved nobility?” Lyra asked, her voice implying she agreed with the notion.

Luna nodded. “Yes. Most of our current problems stem from a deep history of corrupt nobles working for their own gains.”

“Well, I know that a few of them are corrupt, but-”

“Did you know that of the three military academies in Equestria, only one is owned by the Crown?” Luna asked.

Lyra nodded in response.

“Due to pressure from the Nobility, the Royal Academy of Military Sciences and Tactics may only be attended by ponies who have received leadership awards in the guard, and have served for two decades,” Luna said, voice dripping with venom. “At which point, if they became an officer, they would take a seventy-five percent pay cut, as junior officers are paid less than sergeants. This is because it is intended to be a rank to be held by the young who have just begun their careers. A sergeant meanwhile is a mid-career rank for the enlisted.

“This ensures that few ponies use the Royal Academy. Which effectively eliminates it as competition for the other two. They are owned by two noble families and charge a steep sum for their services. This bars ponies with poor families from becoming officers, unless they are willing to make very little money, or take out massive and often crippling loans.

“Celestia allowed this after being persuaded it would be a good idea by an extremely charismatic pegasus. And she can not reverse it because bureaucracy increases as the years go on. Our legal powers were once unlimited, but now they have been bound. We no longer have the authority to stop many wrongdoings due to being bound by the laws we ourselves created. But we could have made an agency that answered only to us, and who would have all legal rights to prevent injustices in the first place.”

“T-there’s lots of things like that. Aren't there?” Lyra asked slowly.

Luna nodded. “Far too many. But, all nations have their problems. True perfection is unobtainable. Though you can get very close. I can not blame Celestia for having a nation with problems… But I can blame her for having a nation with problems that could have been prevented. If only she-”

Luna took a deep breath and held it for some time before letting it out slowly. “Let’s avoid getting me angry over things I cannot change… You understand my point. Would you like me to continue?”

“Yes please,” Lyra answered. “I think I’m starting to understand, but I’d like to hear the whole story. Just, you know. Try not to get pissed off. Please.”

“I’ll be fine as long as I don’t dwell on the issues as long as I did with that one. It’s okay,” Luna promised.

Lyra nodded slowly. “Well, alright. If you say so. Before we move on… What would your Knights have been like? Are my friends and I like, you know… Your second shot?”

Luna snickered. “No. You’re knights under me, yes, but not remotely anything like what I wanted to establish. Still want to establish infact. Have you ever been to Prance?”

Lyra shook her head no.

“Mmm… Too bad. Take Les Chevaliers de L'éternité, remove the necromancy, and that would be close,” Luna said casually.

“Uh, necromancy?” Lyra said fearfully, one eye widening in surprise.

“Yes. It’s not a forbidden art there. The Chevaliers de L'éternité pledge their service eternally. And they mean it. They are buried on the border, so that if someone passes over them with hostile intent, they reanimate, then kill them, and then return to their graves,” Luna explained.

“Okay, so uh, could you not send me to Prance?” Lyra asked nervously. “Like, ever?”

Luna shook her head slowly and smiled before reaching over to put a reassuring hoof onto Lyra’s shoulder. “Nopony messes with Prance. There’s no point, they are happy to remain neutral. We won't ever be going there on any non-peaceful business,” Luna promised.

Lyra nodded gratefully, letting out a sigh of relief. “Good! But um, since I have no idea what those guys are…”

“Oh!” Luna exclaimed with a laugh. “Let’s see, take a willing pony. Then, using magic, remove their ability to feel fear and enforce their loyalty. A thing which would be a moral crime if not for their agreement to such a sacrifice. I would take these ponies who gave themselves to Equestria and clad them in the greatest armor the age could supply. Arm them with the most useful weapons and spells, trained tactics, and strategies, so as to give them no equals on the field of battle. Then these ponies would defend the ideals and spirit of the law and uphold justice in even the darkest corners of the kingdom.”

Lyra nodded. “I could get behind that… But let’s not get too far off topic, though this is pretty interesting.”

“Yes. Back to the story,” Luna agreed, reclining in her throne. “Our next major conflict came a thousand years later. We had countless smaller spats in those thousand years, but nothing which really drove us apart. Largely because the Kingdom of Equestria was on a forced hiatus. For that was when Discord first arrived.”