A is for Applejack

by ArtaFactia

Ch. 2 - Habemus Corpus

Rarity lifted her hoof and knocked smartly on the door to Sugarcube Corner. The sign hanging inside said 'Closed', and was accompanied by a notice pinned on the outside of the door informing patrons of the brief sabbatical of its owners. While she waited for Pinkie, her eyes rested on the notice, and she tittered quietly at some amusing thought that it inspired.

"Cominggggg!" came the bright and sugary cry of Pinkie Pie from inside, and a moment later the door opened, Pinkie Pie stepping out and closing the door behind her. Her cotton-candy mane was somewhat hidden under the large deerstalker cap atop her head, and saddlebags bulged at her sides with their unknown contents.

"I see you were true to your word about the hat, darling."

"Well, duhhhh! Why would I ask to wear the hat if I wasn't going to wear it? That's just silly!"

"...point taken. It always surprises me to hear something rational from the most irrational mare I know." Rarity booped Pinkie gently on the nose, and Pinkie giggled.

"I'll take that as a compliment. Now let's go! We can't keep Big Mac and Applejack waiting!"

"Truer words were never spoken! Every moment we spend standing here jabbering is one better spent investigating." The two friends started on their way, walking through the market, waving and smiling in kind to the other residents of Ponyville. Pinkie's deerstalker cap drew quite a few stares (pretty much anything Pinkie wore or did was apt to draw attention), but those stares were followed by soft laughter and shakes of the head. 'Oh that Pinkie Pie, she's a hoot', the laughter said. "Might I ask what you have in your saddlebags, Pinkie? They look as if they're fit to burst!"

"Cupcakes, and lots of them!"

"Oh?"

"Yes, cupcakes! Applejack, Big Mac, and Applebloom are going through a rough time right now, and I know something sweet always helps me when I'm feeling blue instead of pink, so I thought they might like some cupcakes to help cheer them up a little!"

"Why, Pinkie, that's — for the lack of a better word — quite sweet of you! Are you sure you're not trying to dethrone me as the Element of Generosity?" Rarity raised a brow, the corners of her mouth turned up ever so slightly. "I'll have you know I won't take this lying down, you devious usurper, you."

"I've already got a throne! It's got my cutie mark on it! Silly Rarity." Pinkie said, rolling her eyes. Rarity let out an unladylike snort of laughter, then paused in her tracks, watching Pinkie walking along. Pinkie walking — instead of bouncing, as she was wont to do — was a rare sight, so undoubtedly the silly mare had been taken down a few pegs with the advent of Granny Smith's death. Pinkie walked a few steps ahead, then stopped, turning to look back at the fixed fashionista. "What?"

"Oh...n-nothing. It's strange seeing you more sober than you usually are, Pinkie dear. You're taking this quite seriously, aren't you?"

"Of course I am." Pinkie Pie responded in a hushed tone, barely louder than a whisper. "I believe Applejack. She's so certain that something is up, and so I'm certain too." Rarity stood there and gawked at this strange new 'Pinkie', still not moving. "Earth to Rarityyyy! Come on! Let's get going!"

"O-oh! Yes, yes. Of course." Rarity increased her inertia and continued on the road to Sweet Apple Acres, sticking close to Pinkie as they walked. "You're a good friend, Pinkie." Pinkie giggled softly, but said nothing more.

* * *

"Mornin' Pinkie, Miss Rarity." Big Mac ushered the two mares into the farmhouse. It was deathly quiet inside, which was appropriate, given the current circumstances. He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, seemingly at a loss for what to say. "Applejack's in the living-room with Granny. Err, with her body. Ah...Ah'm sorry, this is jes'..." Tears pricked at the edges of his eyes, and Pinkie opened her mouth to speak, but it was Rarity who did the speaking.

"Pinkie, would you be a dear and head to the living-room? I'll be there in a moment. I'd like to speak briefly with Macintosh."

"Uh...yeah, sure." Pinkie turned to go, then turned back, looking like she wanted to add a word in edgewise, but then sighed and did as she was told, leaving Rarity standing next to the quietly crying Macintosh Apple.

"Macintosh, I...I realize that this is a rather painful situation for all involved, but especially you and your sisters. Granny Smith basically raised you, didn't she? She was like a mother and a grandmother rolled into one. Losing her must be like losing part of your world."

"Eeeyup..." He sniffled, nodding his head and casting his gaze to the floor. "Ah feel...lost without her. And if losin' her weren't enough, then there's this whole business of foul play. D'ya think AJ's right? D'ya think somepony'd hurt mah Granny?"

"I can't say just yet, since I haven't yet looked at Granny or her bedroom. It seems hard to believe to me as well, that somepony would want to hurt her, but in my experience it's the unbelievable that often transpires. Given a sufficient motive, then yes, I think somepony might. But let's not put the cart before the pony." She turned and looked down the corridor to the doorway leading into the living-room, where she could hear Pinkie and Applejack quietly talking. "Let's see what there is to see first."

"Ah'm comin' in there too." Big Mac stomped the floor with his hoof, a look of determination breaking through his tears. "Ah want to be there for this."

"It is entirely your right, of course." She moved down the hall, Big Mac following at her side. "And Macintosh?"

"Yes, Miss Rarity?"

"If you ever need somepony to talk to...feel free to call on me, all right?" Rarity gently lay her hoof on his shoulder, her soft touch bringing him to a halt. She could feel the solid muscle mass shifting under his red coat as he turned to look at her, his green eyes searching her own. What passed between them was less than platonic, given the way their eyes dilated as they stared deeply at each other. It was strange to think that the heavy veil of grief could be parted for even a moment, but part it did, allowing this overt spark of attraction to happen. Rarity had never really had much in the way of interaction with him before; this conversation was the most they'd ever spoken to each other. The look he gave her suggested that his mind was working along the same lines, longing oozing out of his gaze. His heart quickened and she could feel it thrumming under her hoof. The moment was brief but undeniably powerful, and when make finally recovered and spoke, his voice was husky and soft.

"All right. Thank you. Ah'd like that."

* * *

"Rarity! Mac! Come here!" Applejack waved them in hurriedly. "Pinkie Pie, tell 'em what ya jes' told me." Rarity and Macintosh joined them beside the cold, still form of Granny Smith resting in her casket. Pinkie's hair had once again deflated, the seriousness and the sadness of the situation sobering the exuberant mare even further.

"I know what it is Applejack saw! Look!" She pointed at Granny Smith's face. "Can you see it? Can you?"

"Um...what precisely are we to see, darling?" Rarity asked, and Pinkie Pie groaned.

"She's FROWNING! Look!" Pinkie gently placed her hooves on the loose folds around Granny's aged face, and pulled them taut, smoothing out her countenance. With rigor mortis set in, the muscles had stiffened up, and there was indeed a slight frown on her forehead. "And not only that, look at her jaw. When she died she was clenching her jaw!" Pinkie sniffled. "She did not die peacefully."

"Now that you've pointed it out, Ah can see it." Macintosh swallowed audibly, his lower lip quivering. "Only Applejack saw it, though, and Ah 'spect Ah know why." He turned to look at his sister, giving her a grim smile. "Of the three of us, Applejack probably saw her frown the most." Rarity and Pinkie looked at Applejack inquiringly, who was blushing with embarrassment.

"All right, Ah guess there's no point hidin' anythin' now. Ah was a bit of a hellion when Ah was Applebloom's age, and caused Granny more trouble and heartbreak than she really needed. Ah eventually smartened up, of course, and behaved mahself, but Ah never forgot the way she frowned. Ah knew her frowns like the back of mah hoof."

"That explains why her death felt off to you, then. She appears to have passed unhappily. Still...is it at all possible she may have been having a nightmare?" Rarity asked, reaching into her saddlebags for a notebook and a pencil, scribbling down notes with her telekinesis.

"That's jes' the thing. As far as any of us know, she never had a nightmare in her life. Granny napped an awful lot during the day, and not once did she ever frown or whimper. It's out of the ordinary for Granny, and that's ultimately why Ah think somethin' ain't right about this whole situation."

"Hmmm. Nurse Redheart came to confirm her death, yes?" Applejack nodded. "Did she say what the cause of death was?"

"She said that Granny's heart stopped, that it gave out, but she didn't think there was anythin' suspicious about that. Granny was old, she said, as if Ah didn't know it. Yes, she was, a fact a great many ponies have pointed out. But Ah'm sure she still had a few years left in her."

"Was she able to pinpoint the time of death?"

"She said it was around midnight. We found her jes' after five in the morning, afore the cock crowed." She shared a glance with her brother. "Granny was already stiff by then." Mac nodded sadly.

Rarity tapped her chin with the eraser of her pencil, then turned to look at Granny Smith again. "If Granny were a younger pony, then there'd be a bigger to-do about the manner of death. Her killer, if indeed there was a killer, would be counting on the fact that the death of an old pony would be less scrutinized. Surely, then, there must be a clue on her that Nurse Redheart overlooked." She put the notebook down and stood over the body, looking at Granny's face, then moved down along her neck and barrel to her hindlegs. When she hesitantly spread Granny's legs, Macintosh turned away, covering his eyes, and Applejack blushed.

"Is checking her there really necessary, Rarity?" Rarity sighed and looked up from her inspection, looking at Applejack with a neutral expression.

"Applejack, darling, may I remind you that you specifically asked Pinkie and me to inspect her body? I do not like this any more than you do. There are, unfortunately, many unsavoury individuals in Equestria, and one must take into account the possibility of their involvement as well as their...predilections. I was just checking to see if our culprit had done anything unseemly to her. From a cursory glance, I think we can safely say that her feminine honour was upheld."

"Phew. G-good to know." Applejack let out a sigh of relief. Rarity closed Granny's legs and continued her inspection up the other side of the old mare's body, her eyes once again looking at her head. Presently she gasped, and leaned in to look at Granny Smith's left ear. "What? Did ya find somethin'?"

"Granny Smith wasn't in the habit of wearing jewellery, am I correct?"

"Well, yeah, she had neither time nor interest in that frou-frou stuff." Rarity rolled her eyes but let Applejack continue. "Why do ya ask?"

"Because it appears there is a hole in her left ear."

"What?!" Applejack, Big Mac, and Pinkie Pie shouted in simultaneous disbelief, and they all crowded around Granny, looking at the aforementioned ear. "Granny never wore jewellery, let alone have her ears pierced." Rarity nodded, a small smile crawling across her face. "Hold on a minute, what's that behind her ear?" Rarity frowned and pulled the ear back, and everypony gasped. "There's a puncture wound in her neck!"

"Curiouser and curiouser..." Rarity stared hard at the wound, then at the hole in the ear. "They appear to line up. Something sharp stabbed through her ear and into her neck. Why not just stab her in the neck?"

"Maybe they slipped!" All eyes turned to Pinkie. "Like, maybe they meant to go for the neck and slipped and stabbed through the ear by mistake." Rarity beamed at Pinkie, and she leaned over to give her a nuzzle.

"That is a very good theory, Pinkie! Yes...yes, that very well could be what happened! Surely the killer would have staked his or her mark first, and made note of the fact that Granny did not have pierced ears. If the puncturing of the ear was a mistake, it could be that they slipped, or..." Rarity paused, staring at the puncture mark, pondering. "...or perhaps they were nervous."

"Nervous?" Applejack asked. "What'd make 'em nervous? Couldn't be any one of us, we were all sleepin' like a bunch of logs."

"Perhaps our culprit had never killed anypony before, and they accidentally stabbed Granny through the ear in their nervousness? Either they had a sufficient motive to overcome their qualms and take action on their own, or they were pressured to act at somepony else's behest."

"Ya mean like a contract killin'?" Big Mac asked, and he blushed as Rarity turned to him, eyebrow raised. "Ah...Ah read too. Ah like mysteries as well. Jes' never thought Ah'd be smack dab in the middle of one mahself."

"Well! Perhaps we have been remiss in not asking you to sleuth as well, Macintosh. What do you make of the puncture wound on her neck?"

Macintosh leaned in, looking at the small mark. "Whatever pierced her neck didn't hit any major arteries, Ah guess. A little blood would come out but that could easily be cleaned up. A lot of blood would be somethin' else entirely." Rarity nodded, encouraging him to continue. "And since Granny didn't bleed to death, then...maybe...poison?"

"Ah. Poison. A timeless method of doing away with somepony. You know that they call poison 'the mare's weapon'?" Rarity scoffed, shaking her head. "I am sure there are just as many stallions who'd be keen to use poison as mares. But perhaps in this case it holds water."

"Why do ya say that?"

"Because there is the faint scent of perfume on Granny Smith, and I'm fairly certain it doesn't belong to her." A strange scene then ensued with Applejack, Big Mac, and Pinkie leaning in to sniff at Granny Smith.

"Jes' barely, but yeah, Ah smell it." Mac said.

"Smells like juniper berries!" Pinkie shouted. Applejack took another sniff and nodded.

"Definitely like juniper berries. Pinkie's got a good nose on her."

"Gotta have a good nose as a baker!" Pinkie crowed, bouncing on her hooves, her mane poofing back into its usual curly mess. Obviously some life had come back into the bubbly pink mare despite the somber occasion. "And speaking of baking, I've got a TON of cupcakes for you! Well, not a ton, but a lot, I didn't actually weigh them but my saddlebags were pretty heavy when I slung them over my back!"

"That's sweet of ya, Pinkie." Applejack gave Pinkie a warm hug. "But let's have 'em a little later, yeah? We should continue our investigatin'."

"Okie-dokie-lokie!" Pinkie pulled a notebook and pencil out of her mane and quickly made a note in it. "'Cupcakes...for...later.' Got it!" Applejack sniggered, and Rarity joined in. Pinkie's inane ramblings drove them all crazy, but an Equestria without Pinkie Pie seemed bleak. Pinkie brought the little bursts of cheer they sorely needed to keep from giving in to despair. Even though Big Mac didn't laugh with them, Rarity could still see the hint of a smile at the corners of his mouth. Pinkie: 1, Sadness: 0.

"And speaking of continuing the investigation, I suggest we move on to the scene of the crime: her bedroom." Rarity turned to Big Mac and gently laid her hoof on his. A moment like the one earlier in the hallway washed over the two ponies again, and they stared at each other speechlessly until Applejack cleared her throat, startling them out of their reverie. "Um...I-I think we're done with Granny Smith now, Macintosh, so...I guess you'll want to prepare her for...for burial, yes?" He nodded dumbly, then stood up.

"Y-yeah. Ah'll do that. Y'all head along upstairs. Ah'll see ya later, Miss Rarity." He said, turning away. "Oh, and you too, Applejack and Pinkie. See all three of y'all later."

As the three mares left the living-room, heading for the stairs, Applejack stopped Rarity and stood before her, eyeing her dubiously. "Now jes' what was that?"

"I haven't the foggiest idea of what you are talking about, Applejack, dear." Rarity shuffled awkwardly on her hooves, avoiding direct eye contact. Applejack snorted and shook her head.

"Well, when yer ready to admit to yer feelings for mah brother, be sure to let me know."

"F-feelings? For Macintosh? I...I...um...I don't..."

"Nevermind. Let's jes' get back to work."

"Y-yes, let's."

Author's Note:

RariMac? Why not. Even in a murder mystery I can't keep myself from shipping.

Comments

[Starlight Nova]

Will there be a sequel?

[ArtaFactia]

7528227

The thought has crossed my mind, yes. I can't leave the rest of the alphabet out of the fun, now can I? But let's focus on A for the moment. Writing this story will take all of my writing powers and then some. It's quite the undertaking for me, and I hope I succeed.

[Aqua Drops]

Please don't tell me it's one of the mane six. I hate it when writers do that. None of them are capable of doing something like that. (And if it's Fluttershy then I will personally....I got nothing. Nothing will prepare you for what will do if it's Fluttershy).

[ArtaFactia]

7529167

The very idea offends me! Maybe this is saying too much too early, but it is not one of the Mane Six. As you said, none of them could reasonably carry out such a heinous act, and it would be a low move to make one of them do such a thing. So no, you've nothing to fear in that respect.

And especially not Fluttershy. I could never do that to that sweetheart.

[Aqua Drops]

7529388 oh thank Celestia. I read a story that Sweetie Belle murdered Tender Taps..for what reason? Thank you for not making your story immensely OOC. That would have ruined it for me.

[ArtaFactia]

7529990

I read a story that Sweetie Belle murdered Tender Taps

I...I just don't even.

Thank you for not making your story immensely OOC. That would have ruined it for me.

You're welcome! And yes, I'm going to keep the established characters IC for the most part. I can't promise there won't be any behavioural changes, though, since I've only got certain details filled out so far, but I shall do my best to avoid doing so. Nothing is more jarring than seeing a character acting out of character.

[Aqua Drops]

7530441 that was my reaction exactly when I read that part! I hate it when characters are OOC. It completely ruins the story.

My sister: oh well you should talk! You make Celestia a jerk in your fan fics!

Me: yeah but it's for comedy!

My sister: your comedy isn't that good either.

Me: shut up you can't write like I do!

[ArtaFactia]

7530464

To be fair, sometimes a character being OOC works, if you can make it work. For instance, in my other fic, I have Chrysalis acting a little differently than she has been shown in the show or the comics, but I do provide at least a small explanation/theory of why her behaviour has skewed in that direction. Whether or not it is believable enough, I leave that up to my readers.

[Aqua Drops]

7530513 when I make a character OOC, it's normally for comedy purposes. Like in one of my stories, Luna behaves like a complete idiot, thinking that the iPad is staring at her. Or when Celestia banished Luna to the moon because she commented on her fat...how do I put this.......hindquarters? Any way, as long as it's not too serious, I can forgive you for that. But back to this story, the characters are good, the mystery has me on the edge of my seat, and crap I just fell off its so intense.

[ArtaFactia]

7530548

Or when Celestia banished Luna to the moon because she commented on her fat...hindquarters

Celestia has glorious hindquarters!

But back to this story, the characters are good, the mystery has me on the edge of my seat...

You have no idea how happy that makes me to hear that! This is my first mystery so I wasn't sure how it was faring in the eyes of my readers. At the moment I'm just slowly and casually working on notes for the next and upcoming chapters, not letting myself get too stressed about things (since I do have the tendency to run myself ragged). It'll likely be a few days before the next chapter. I'm pacing myself now, trying to make sure I give it enough thought to make it both believable and competent. Keep your eyes open for further detective work! :3

[horizon]

7529167
It's interesting that's where you draw the line. (I'm not trying to judge, really I'm not; it's interesting.) There's a good argument to be made that it's not just the Mane Six, it's Equestria that simply isn't capable of murder; it's a reality that works under different rules, and it would break the world just as hard to have a bit character or random townspony be a killer.

I'm kind of out on the other side of the spectrum. Pinkie Pie seemed a little too suspicious in her behavior and her mood swings, and I was engaged by trying to sort out whether it seemed fishy or whether it was a reasonable reaction to such a tragedy. I am slightly disappointed to have that flat-out ruled out in comments, but there's still plenty of room left for an engaging mystery here.

Habemus Corpus

"We have a body." I see what you did there.

The one observation that sort of leapt out at me about the writing here, which you might want to consider, is that you're writing in third-person omniscient (you have a narrator who's not any of the characters in the story, and rather than being confined to one character's brain, the narrator is able to tell us what's going on inside multiple characters' heads) — and yet there are a number of times when the narrator seems to introduce their own opinions or observations about the story, such as:

'Ah ain't dead yet, no need to act like it's comin'', she had said. But maybe it had finally come.

By making the narrator a character who doesn't actually exist in the story and then giving us the narrator's thoughts, you're basically breaking the fourth wall. That sort of observation works better in third-person limited, when those observations allow you to develop character voice and illustrate the viewpoint character's view on the world around them. It's not impossible to do in omniscient, but it's tricky and distracting.

Finally, if you're a mystery fan, you might appreciate the blog series that ScarletWeather is starting about mystery writing.

Best,
h

[ArtaFactia]

7530890

There's a good argument to be made that it's not just the Mane Six, it's Equestria that simply isn't capable of murder

THIS. I will admit I had a similar thought regarding Aqua Drop's objection to one of the Mane Six being the culprit, when this is ostensibly a fictional world where murder just doesn't compute. It doesn't happen. And yet now it has.

Pinkie Pie seemed a little too suspicious in her behavior and her mood swings

That would be me writing badly, unfortunately, trying to do both and not segueing well.

By making the narrator a character who doesn't actually exist in the story and then giving us the narrator's thoughts, you're basically breaking the fourth wall.

I will admit it, I'm what I would consider a 'neophyte' when it comes to the realm of fictional prose. My writing has usually been confined in the past to strictly poetry, and I'm sure that comes out a bit in my prose. When writing poetry, when the muse is with me, the words just seem to flow, a sort of stream-of-consciousness writing. It is this that invades my story writing. I have a few ideas in my head in terms of where it will go, as well as certain scenes/interactions I've played out over and over between the characters within my mind, and then I start writing. Sometimes things stay on track, other times subtle changes happen and I have to step in to reevaluate the direction and act accordingly. Perhaps it is because of this loose style that I gloss over things like what you mentioned. I hadn't really given any thought to my narrator voice. It's like a slip of the tongue, a little colour commentary, and I guess I didn't notice how it broke the fourth wall.

I have good ideas, but the execution is always somewhat lacking. I don't quite know how to curb some of these reflexive writing habits. I'm pretty much always in my head, being both narrator and cast, and maybe that's a problem. But I've done it for so long that I feel I've built myself a pretty little mental birdcage for me to sing in without being able to stretch my wings.

Maybe I should go back and rewrite the chapters, and try to push it into the mold of third-person limited. I'm not sure. I feel a little mentally waylaid at the moment.

EDIT: I just went back through both chapters and made some changes to remove the omniscient moments and keep things set in limited. Limited does seem the better option for a mystery story, anyhow, since there is the mystery of what thoughts are going through the character's heads on top of the main mystery itself.