Finding a Place

by Battlecat

Chapter 1 - To Hide (R)

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

My running shoes made a loud squeaking noise on the smooth linoleum floor as I ran through the crowded upstairs hallway of Canterlot High. The indifferent faces of the other students were a blur as I cut a path through the crowd. The thumping footsteps of my pursuers were ample warning that I was only one misstep away from yet another bout of pain. All it would take was an unexpected foot sticking out in my path and I was done.

“Get back here you coward! Time for another chat!”

Two of my regular tormentors, Gilda and Lightning Dust were nipping at my heels. I didn’t waste my breath responding to their taunts nor did I slow down. These so-called “chats” always ended with a fresh supply of bruises. Instead, I reached out my arm I hooked my fingers around the decorative wood molding with my fingers. My hand and arm were screaming with pain as I swung around the corner at a full sprint. The stairs were dead ahead and I was forced to run down them three at a time without trouble thanks to my training and six-foot frame. Behind me, I heard the sound of someone crashing into a locker.

“Get off me, you idiot!” Gilda snarled. “He’s going to get away.”

I'm so tired of this.
You can't run forever.

I slammed into the wall of the corner halfway down at full speed, wincing at the impact. I gasped involuntarily from the impact and then continued down the stairs into the lobby. I pulled my sweatshirt hood over my head as I descended the stairs. There was a dense crowd of students blocking the main entrance so I turned down the first hallway. Going through a crowd like that would get me pushed over for sure. I couldn’t afford to slow down with the sound of renewed pursuit clearly echoing in the stairwell so I turned into the first open classroom door and sprinted across the room towards the windows.

“What the-?!” was all he had time to say before I dove out the open window.

I managed to land in a roll and didn’t even try to stand up as I scrambled behind the nearest bush. I could hear the teacher, Mister Doodle yelling at Gilda and Lightning about running in the halls. I didn’t hang around to listen as I shuffled along the side of the building towards the back of the school.

So much for Canterlot’s motto.
Living in Harmony. What a joke.

I was a new student this fall, having moved to Canterlot, Oregon from Manhattan during the summer holidays. The unique name of the community had almost leaped off the pages of maps while I decided where to move to. I had barely hesitated at the time but a month into the school year I was starting to regret it. I had planned to keep to myself, avoid trouble, and just get finished with school. Instead, I arrived at a school that was already incredibly hostile to my mere presence.

All I managed to figure out was someone had spread a plethora of awful rumors about me. I didn’t even know the content of those rumors since nobody even talked to me. All I heard was the occasional whisper describing me as creepy, dangerous, vicious, or depraved. I couldn’t even walk away since I was already a year behind in school and there was no doubt in my heart that the rumors would just follow me anyhow. Trying to fight the stories just seemed like an overwhelming challenge and fighting the bullies would just confirm everything the other students seemed to believe.

You have no right to defend yourself after what you caused.

I started skulking along the side of the building to the back door. When the bell rang I would slip into the bathroom to clean myself up. My heart sank when I rounded the corner and found myself face to face with the last people I wanted to see. The Diamond Dogs were surprised for a moment but before I could turn and run they quickly surrounded me. A toothy grin appeared on each of their faces. As far as I was concerned, these three were just greedy. In their minds, I was an easy mark.

Complacency will get you your just deserts.

“Time to pay up chicken,” said Rover, the leader of the trio. “Fork it over.”

I sighed and shook my head. “Rover, I don’t have any money today. Can’t you just- GAH!”

The largest of the three Diamond Dogs punched me in the stomach, making me double over and collapse to the ground. I was gasping for breath and it didn’t get any easier when one of them pushed my face into the dirt. I thrashed a bit in a panic which earned me a kick to the ribs.

“We just take your food then,” Rover concluded. “Find it.”

While I was forced to sample the bark mulch and fertilizer at the base of the bush by the corner of the school, the diamond dogs dug through my backpack. I saw my books and notes go flying and I felt a brief surge of anger. For a moment I contemplated fighting back and my fists clenched.

This is nothing you don’t deserve. Pain and hunger won’t kill you.

That single thought killed the urge as quickly as it appeared. This was just penance for my failures. I stopped struggling and focused on getting my breathing under control. After a minute the pressure on the back of my head ended.

“So easy! Money tomorrow chicken,” Rover laughed. I heard footsteps and a moment later the nearby door opened and then slammed shut. I rolled over on my side and let out a weary sigh at the sight of my books and papers scattered across the lawn. Once I was on my feet I gathered them up as quickly as I could before limping my way inside. I went straight into the nearest bathroom.

While I splashed water on my face to clean up, I did my best to ignore the other figure in the bathroom. I kept catching sight of him in the mirror. His unkempt brown hair was streaked through with gray and had reached shoulder length. His skin was a shade of blue bordering on gray and a yellowing bruise marred his face. His tired greenish-yellow eyes were slightly sunken with dark circles underneath. Most of his emaciated frame was hidden under an oversized navy blue sweat-shirt that almost covered his hands.

I could only pretend that figure in the mirror was a complete stranger to me. As I cleaned myself up, he matched my actions perfectly. Merely a coincidence I told myself several times while trying to ignore the presence. Unfortunately, the truth in the mirror was unavoidable as I checked to make sure all the mud was gone.

Is this what my life has come to?
Yes. What’s the point in changing?

I shook my head to try and clear the fog and the voices from my mind before heading off to my next class.

---

When the bell rang for lunch, I was one of the first ones out the door. There was no way I was waiting around for Gilda and Lightning to spot me so they could finish the job. I practically ran out the back door of the school and made a beeline for the nearby trees that dotted the property. I crouched low and looked to see if anyone was watching. Fortunately, most students ate in the cafeteria so it was still quiet outside.

With my isolation confirmed, I got down on my hands and examined the entrance to my newest hiding spot. All I had to do was crawl through a small gap in the decorative hedge around one of the trees. One bush had died away some time ago and the other plants had filled the gap leaving a lovely little nook beside the tree. It was quiet and completely out of sight. It was only illuminated by a dappling of sunlight that filtered through the branches of the old tree. As I sat up to lean against the tree I felt a stab of pain in my chest where I had been kicked.

I really hope those are just bruises. I don't need more cracked ribs.
Whatever you deserve is what you'll get.
Yeah, I guess so. Ugh, there goes my stomach grumbling.
Oh stop whining. You disgust me.

There had been a nagging voice in the back of my mind for months now but lately, it was getting nastier and louder. My eyes drifted shut as I tried to ignore the negative thoughts that were weighing me down. I was almost dozing when a sound I dreaded snapped me back to reality. The bushes were rustling as someone was getting ready to crawl in. It occurred to me that there was no escape route so I just braced myself for the upcoming attack. Then the branches were pushed aside revealing . . . a small white cat followed closely by a bunny.

The two animals froze when they saw me, and eyed me warily. I stared right back at the unexpected intruders trying to reconcile my panicked assumptions with what was in front of me. Finally I just slowly reached my hand out and just held it still where the two animals could examine it. The cat stepped confidently forward and sniffed my fingers a few times. It let out an almost approving meow before bumping its head against my hand and settling into my lap. I obliged it by scratching it behind the ears while the bunny hopped a short distance away to munch some grass.

I was thinking that a couple of friendly strays had just wandered in when I heard the bushes rustling again. This time a yellow backpack decorated with pink butterflies was pushed through the gap. It was followed by a lithe girl with yellow skin and pink hair. Her hair was held back by a clip shaped like a butterfly and she was wearing a simple white tank top with a green skirt. When she was about halfway out, she looked up and she froze. Her teal eyes were opened wide and a single terrified squeak escaped her mouth as she began to shiver with undisguised fear.

See? They don't just hate you, they fear you.
I can’t take this. She thinks I’m going to murder her.

“Don't worry, I'll go as soon as you clear the entrance,” I said bitterly. “Just finish pulling yourself through and I'll be on my way. I promise I won't hurt you or your animals.”

I gently urged the cat out of my lap, trying to ignore the bitter taste in my mouth while the girl finished crawling into the suddenly crowded space. She shuffled away from me and wouldn't meet my eyes while she made room for me to leave. I grabbed my backpacked and got down on my knees to crawl out. In my irritated state, I almost missed her tiny voice.

“Actually, it might be ok if you stayed.”

I paused, trying to determine if I had actually heard her voice or if I was just dealing with auditory hallucinations now. I looked over at her. The girl was hiding behind her pink hair trying not to look at me. I sighed and shook my head.

“Thanks but you don't have to pretend. It's obvious I'm not wanted.”

Her eyes flew open and she stared at me with a horrified expression on her face. I hadn't seen eyes like hers in ages and for a moment I was trapped.

“That's not true at all,” She exclaimed in a suddenly firm voice. “Everyone makes me nervous!”

She took a deep breath, let out an adorable little 'eep' and then vanished behind her hair again.

“Sorry. It’s just . . . my animal friends are usually more skittish with new people. I think they'd like it if you stayed. If that’s all right with you.”

I looked at the ground not daring to believe she really meant it. I coughed once, suppressing a wince at the pain from my chest.

“All right with me?” I asked. “You do know who I am right? Everyone has heard stories about me.”

I didn’t look at her and the silence was deafening. Her voice was tiny and nervous when she replied.

“Yes. I’ve heard them and you’re not what I expected. Angel Bunny and Vanilla seem to like you, so please would you like to stay?

That wavering voice wasn’t filling me with confidence about her honesty but I backed up and leaned against the tree. Vanilla, the white cat immediately got back into my lap and bumped her head against my hand some more. I set to work scratching her behind the ears and running my hand along its back. Vanilla began purring loudly as she snuggled into my lap.”

“Awww, see?” The girl said with a bit more confidence. “Animals always know.”

They’re just dumb animals. They don’t know the truth about you.

“If you say so,” I replied, ignoring the voice of doubt echoing in my mind and avoiding her intensely curious gaze. “If you change your mind, just let me know. I won't be offended, promise.”

I saw her shake her head, causing a strand of hair to fall down in front of her face. “No, it’s really ok. Do you have a cat? You seem to know what you’re doing,” she said in a more confident voice.

“I’ve never had a pet before,” I admitted. “It wasn’t an option when I was younger and it’s not something I can commit to now.”

“Oh,” She said sadly while she pulled out a flyer. “That’s too bad. Well if things change there are lots of animals at the local shelter.”

I took the piece of pink paper and glanced over it. It was thoroughly decorated with cute hearts and paw prints. It was actually soliciting volunteers to help at the shelter but she didn’t see fit to mention it.

Maybe I could-
You’d be more help staying far away.
I suppose that’s true.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

I folded the paper in half and slipped it into one of my notebooks. We sat quietly for a few minutes before the girl’s voice piped up again. She was back to that quiet, shy voice again and I would have missed it completely if our hiding spot wasn’t so peaceful.

“Ummm, I’m sorry to bother you but could I ask a question? I was wondering, what’s your name? If you don’t mind sharing that is.

I let out a bitter laugh. “I’m hardly worth the effort but my name is Silver Spark.”

“Hi Silver,” she said in a slightly more normal voice. “I’m Fluttershy.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” I said quietly.

---

That was the extent of the conversation we had over that lunch break. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence; it was just so peaceful there was no reason to talk. The dappled September sun warmed us as we sat under the tree with Fluttershy’s pets. I didn’t want to push my luck and ruin what had become the most peaceful moment I had experienced in almost a year.

Sadly, the end of lunch hour came all too soon and we had to go back to class. I crawled out of the hiding spot first pushing Fluttershy’s backpack ahead of me. I didn’t make any move to touch her or help her to her feet and I avoided looking at her while she helped her animals into her bag. My mouth was dry and I couldn’t think of what to say to thank her for the brief moment of kindness. Fluttershy clasped her hands behind her back and her knees almost knocked together.

“See you later Silver,” She whispered before running back towards the school.

I resisted the temptation to watch her departure and instead looked at my feet while trying to pull myself together to face the rest of the day. There was a small warm spot in my chest that almost pulled a smile on my face. Unfortunately, that was the moment something collided with the back of my knee, collapsing me to the ground. I tried to catch myself but I wound up collapsing flat on my face instead. I groaned with pain from the impact, exaggerating a bit to try and stave off another kick. I wasn't going to move until I knew if this attacker had demands or just felt like providing some abuse.

“YOU STAY AWAY FROM FLUTTERSHY! DON’T TOUCH HER!” a raspy voice yelled at me.

“Wha? I- I- didn't-,” I stuttered, trying to compose my thoughts. I didn’t recognize the voice and the demand didn’t make sense.

“SHUT UP!” the voice roared interrupting me while a foot collided with my ribs.

I managed to roll myself over to face my attacker. A girl with cyan skin and rainbow-colored hair was glaring down at me. She was dressed in shorts under her sports skirt and had a blue collared shirt over her white t-shirt with a three-colored lightning bolt. I had seen her around school but I had never interacted with her. I knew her name was Rainbow Dash and she was heavily involved in the various sports teams. I was completely frozen by the rage burning in her purple eyes. They promised pain and misery for me if I twitched wrong.

“You heard me,” she hissed, punching her fist into her hand for emphasis. “Fluttershy doesn’t need a nasty creep like you messing her life up even more. You stay away from her or else.”

You know she’s right. Just give in.

I nodded and turned my face back into the grass. I couldn’t bring myself to speak.

“Good. Don’t you forget it either!” Rainbow Dash snarled. “Slime like you should just crawl back to the hole you came out of.”

I just laid there with my face in the grass while she stomped away. It was a pleasantly soft surface to land on and much less painful than tile or concrete. The warm spot in my chest had turned into a cold pit instead. I didn’t move for a while, just watching the green blades being rustled by the gentle breeze.

So much for that.
It's not like Fluttershy really wanted you around again. She was just appeasing you so you wouldn’t hurt her.

Finally, I mustered the energy to climb back up to my feet. I brushed the grass off my shirt and began limping off towards the school. It was going to be a long afternoon.

---

When the end of the day rolled around I was breathing a sigh of relief. By some miracle, I hadn’t been called to the office regarding my escape through Mr. Doodle’s classroom. Why Gilda and Lightning hadn’t identified me as the other culprit was a complete mystery but I hope they were in detention. The only downside was they would be out for blood in the morning. I delayed for a few minutes to let the bulk of the students leave before I slipped out the front door.

As I walked down the front steps, I spotted the unmistakable figure of Fluttershy trying to hand out her leaflets for the animal shelter. The crowds of students walked past without acknowledging her existence. I almost walked over to see how she was doing but the ultimatum from Rainbow Dash sent a shiver down my spine. I looked around for any sign of her but she didn’t seem to be around.

She will be happier and safer without you nearby.

I pulled the hood of my shirt over my head and hugged the wall of the school to avoid her notice. It was only the sound of sorrowful whimpering that forced me to turn around. My heart hurt at the sight of Fluttershy slumped on the ground, leaflets scattered around her like fallen leaves. I almost went back but fear anchored me to the ground. Then the strangest thing happened. There was a flash of light that sent a burst of pain slicing through my head and blinding me for a moment.

Fluttershy yelped in pain and stopped crying as something clattered to the ground. She was rubbing her head with one hand while she picked up an object in her other. Then she quickly gathered up her fliers and walked back into the school carrying the mysterious object. I sighed and turned away from the odd event to get on with my day.

That was a bit weird.
Don’t stress your pathetic little mind about it.

I wandered through town, going through the motions of grocery shopping and picking up my mail at the post office. I constantly glanced over my shoulder and I would randomly turn down a random street or alley anytime it looked like someone was watching me. I never took the same route twice just in case somebody was following me. The last thing I needed was to be predictable since that would just leave chances to be ambushed outside the school grounds. Walking back to my house was the worst part because the last thing I wanted was someone finding where I lived.

You can’t hide forever.

As I walked out of town on the road that would take me to my house, I ducked out of sight off the road every time a vehicle approached. There wasn't an alternate route and I couldn't afford to be spotted. Today the only vehicle that went past was a red pickup truck that I frequently saw in this area. I had no idea who it belonged to but I wasn’t hanging around to let them spot me. I picked up my pace and jogged the rest of the way to my driveway, fighting through the pain from my injured knee.

My house was on a country road about a mile outside of Canterlot City itself hidden on the side of a small hill. It was on a ten-acre farm bordering a small lake in the back. The land had been fallow for years and I had no plans to change that. The driveway was crowded with a mid-sized van and a little hatchback car parked up next to a large shipping container. The sighed caused a pang of sorrow and I quickly turned away and walked up the stairs.

I unlocked the front door and made my way inside. The house was silent and empty just as I had left it that morning. I gazed at the wide-open space on the ground floor and just shook my head. A single easy chair and a coffee table were set up facing the television in the living room. There were a few dirty dishes out in the kitchen and a small table with a single chair was set up in the dining room.

Other than the bedroom where I slept, that was it for furniture. The rest of the walls were lined with unopened boxes stacked up on empty bookshelves and along the walls. Every time I looked at the boxes I just felt despair and quickly dismissed them. I ate an apple and some beef jerky for dinner while I struggled through my homework. By the time seven-thirty rolled around, I was completely wiped out.

I glanced over at the TV but decided to call it a night. I walked into my bathroom and did my best to ignore that stranger in the mirror again. I pulled out the pile of pills from the medicine cabinet and choked them down one by one. It felt like a total waste of time but it was just what I had to do to keep myself functioning. I killed the lights and flopped down on my back in bed, staring at the ceiling trying to keep my mind blank. The sleeping pill slowly kicked in and as I dozed off one last unwanted thought bubbled up in my mind.

Who would even care if you vanished?

Author's Note:

This chapter has been rewritten. I hope you enjoy the revisions!

Comments

[Applejack224]

NOOO! I want to read more

[Battlecat]

7561871 Glad you enjoyed the first chapter. The next chapter is close to completion and should be out by the weekend at the latest.

[Frankie2]

I'm going to assume this kid used to fight in some way and could probably kick The Diamond Dogs' @55 all at once. Also, if this kid is on medication, how is he paying for it?

[Battlecat]

7680283 He probably has the skills to take them if he so chose. As for buying the medication and money in general, that will come up later but he's not pressed for cash. If you look at what he's been through so far, you could probably make a couple guesses about where the money is from.

I always have to resist giving detailed answers to questions that I know will be coming up as part of the story in the future. Hope you continue to enjoy the story!

[A random person]

7680673 I found a mistake
The other students will find you eventually. That will end you peace.
*your

[Alot Master]

A combination of Schizophrenia and Depression? Yeesh.

[Battlecat]

8945417 - Yeah, those wouldn't be a pleasant combo. All I can say at chapter one is there's a reason Silver's in the state he's in. I hope you'll enjoy the story.