• Published 1st Sep 2016
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Paper Mario: Brotherhood is Harmony - wingdingaling



Mario and co. are ready for a relaxing vacation with Peach's royal friends in Equestria. Little do they know that something so innocent will inevitable lead to their next big adventure.

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Prologue: A Perfectly Good Day

Prologue

A Perfectly Good Day

Ahem! Today, I am going to tell you the story of the land of friendship.

Long ago, when our neighboring land of Equestria was still young, and the Mushroom Kingdom was not yet born, a great wizard named Starswirl the Bearded laid the tenets that would unify his chaotic land.

Using his knowledge of magic, he shared his wisdom with the ponies of the land and united them under the common beliefs of kindness, loyalty, generosity, honesty, laughter and the magic that came as the result of embracing them.

Throughout the land, the ponies flourished and were very happy. Many thought that there was no happier place in the world to be. But, such beliefs were not shared by all.

The dragons of the land did not believe such things would benefit themselves. They believed that theirs was a greater magic. A magic that could overtake all other forms, and push them from existence.

Before the dragons could push all other magic from the world, Starswirl the Bearded stepped forth to stop them.

By harnessing the powers of friendship and harmony, the magic of the dragons was pushed back, and the dragons themselves were banished from Equestria.

In the eons since, peace and harmony have been all the creatures of Equestria knew.

Many of us living today do not remember such things, and the ponies of Equestria have all but erased that terrible, turbulent time from their history.

However, there are still those who do recall those dreadful days. This story begins with one such person...


"Oh yeah. This will do nicely."

Far away in a forgotten countryside, in a hidden glen, in a cave of unimaginable depths, the one of the few inhabitants of the land had completed his life's work.

For thousands of years he had plotted and ruminated, unable to accept what history had already dictated. Sent into a self-imposed exile and humiliated by countless defeats, he at last had the means to fulfill his ambitions.

The dark figure walked through the shadows, cradling the object he held. What was once lost to time was now in his grasp. Carrying it like a long lost treasure, he transported it to its final resting place.

Past the doorway the figure passed, a room of unimaginable treasures laid. Ancient coins foiled with precious metals lay in mounds upon the floor. Gemstones of all shapes and colors dotted the piles of coins. Silver cups, gold scepters, fine linens, and everything else precious and valuable lay strewn about the floor of that forgotten cavern. And in the center of them all, there on a pedestal, were the greatest achievements of the shadowy figure’s collection.

Five items, they numbered. Five innocent trinkets that had been scattered throughout the land and forgotten to the shrouds of time. Now, when the sixth was placed among them, they were united for the first time in countless millennia.

After so long, now would be the time for his glorious return to power. No longer a fragment of a forgotten past, he would reclaim his rightful place as ruler of the land.

The figure raised his head and thrust his arms to the ceiling, bathing his form in the moonlight that shone through the opening atop the cave. The rays of the celestial body reached deep into the unfathomable depths of the earth, illuminating the cavern by the reflection of the countless treasures.

By the glow of the moon, and the glimmer of the treasure, the creature spoke the ancient words of tongue long consigned to oblivion.

The six trinkets on the pedestal started to glow. As if by a will of their own, the trinkets levitated above the rest of the treasure, spinning about like dancers at a grand ball. No longer were they illuminated by the glow of the moon off of the treasures. They shone with a light so bright that they overtook all that was within the cavern.

Within the aureate glow, the creature had to cover his eyes. Though his eyes were spared the sting of the light, the rest of his body hummed with a peculiar feeling.

Through no magic of his own conjuring, the creature within the light was levitated into the air, and was folded up one, two, three, four, five times. After, his folded edges were snipped and cut.

Though he was in no pain, it felt to him as if his entire being had been turned to pulp, and his papery edges were morphing and molding to a new shape. He was becoming more than he was before. Different. Powerful.

The light in the cavern shone brighter. For many miles, the few creatures who lived far, far away from that accursed cave watched in curious awe at what was happening in that forgotten countryside.

Moments passed, and the light of the trinkets faded into nothingness.

The creature in the cavern felt nothing as his form unfolded, and there he stood with his arm covering his eyes, as if nothing had happened.

Lowering his arm, the creature looked to the trinkets on the pedestal, and saw now that they were gone. Disappeared into the aether. Become one with their conduit. But, that was not all that had changed.

The creature gasped when he looked at his own arm. It too had turned golden, and his claws were rearranged with three on the front of his extremity and one on the heel of it like a bird’s foot.

Looking behind, he found that his tail had grown long and snake-like. But, that wasn't all. No longer was his back merely a scaly carapace with a spiky ridge. It was now adorned with two golden wings. More so, he saw now that his entire body looked as if it had changed to be solid gold.

Not that it had truly changed. Rather, it was now a different color from its norm. Instead of its dull scales from before, they now had a sheen and a shimmer like polished foil.

With his new form, he could feel power flowing through him. Power enough to take back what rightfully belonged to him. It was time to gather his underlings, and spread his malice.

"Everyone, get ready," the creature called to the void between all things, "It's time to go to work, and we have a lot to do!"

Though they were all distant from one another, each of the beings he called to knew the time was nigh. With their combined power, the world would soon be theirs.


In the Mushroom Kingdom, off the edge of a peaceful burg called Toad Town, in a simple cardboard house lived the resident handymen and national heroes: the Mario Brothers, Mario and Luigi.

Though plumbers by trade, the two were hailed as heroes across the kingdom by the good folk, having saved the world and their beloved princess time after time after time from the evils that often befell them.

Today was a day that one wished could last for all time. The sun hung high in the sky with nary a cloud in sight, and the birds sang their melodious song that carried on the gentle breeze to mingle with the whistling of the fresh, green grass.

From the sky came the resident mailkoopa, Parakarry, flapping on the breeze with his mailbag firmly in hand.

Delivering here was not only a nice way to see the countryside beyond the town, but also a way to visit with his former adventuring partner from those many years ago during the Star Rod incident.

Unfortunately, Mario was nowhere to be seen in the yard. Not wanting to eat into his own schedule by looking for the plumber, he simply went about his business.

The mailkoopa reached into his satchel, placed the delivery for the address into the mailbox and gave his familiar shout.

"Mail call," Parakarry shouted loud enough for the residents to hear before he went onward with his route.

The simple cardboard door opened, and out walked Luigi to gather the post.

At the moment, he and his older twin had been fixing their faulty shower. Taking the momentary reprieve as an impromptu break, Luigi stepped off the front porch whistling a simple tune to himself. When he reached the mailbox, he opened it up and began rifling through the contents within.

For the first time in a while, Luigi was relieved to find that the mailbox was not stuffed with mushroom cupcakes that had been slathered in fireflower sauce. Not that he and Mario didn’t appreciate the love their many adoring fans sent them, but they were often overwhelmed by the sheer volume of gifts.

"Let's see," he said as he filed through the envelopes. "Electric bill. Water bill. Coupons. Menu for the new pasta restaurant, (very nice). More fan mail from that Rainbow Dash lady, (why is it only ever addressed to Mario)? Hey, Frugalla T. finally paid us for that plumbing job."

The final envelope he found was made of pink paper, and adorned with the royal seal. This one, he knew could only be good news.

"Hey, bro," Luigi called through the open door, "You got mail."

"Just a second, Luigi! I’m almost done with the shower," Mario's voice called from inside the house.

Inside, Luigi could hear Mario grunting and groaning over the last detail they had been working on.

"I'm going to fix this stupid thing if it kills me! Hey, bro! Where's that wrench?” Mario called.

Luigi opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off by Mario.

“Aw, forget it! Nevermind! I got this!” Mario shouted.

*WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK*

Luigi winced as he heard the noise. Whatever Mario was doing, he knew it was sure to ruin his reputation as the best plumber in the kingdom if anyone caught wind of it.

"Alright. I think we got it," Mario said with finality. "Let's see if this puppy works. Turn on the water main while you're out there."

After so many setbacks, Luigi was somewhat relieve to hear Mario say that. Even if what he did sounded rather unorthodox.

Reaching beneath the front porch, Luigi turned on the main water valve, ready to see the fruits of their labors.

There came a low rumbling noise in the house, which culminated in a blast of water that blew Mario right out the front door. After Mario came his hammer, which bopped him squarely on the head.

“Mama mia!” Luigi shouted, before turning off the water, so as not to flood the house.

Mario jumped up from the ground and twisted the excess water out of his body.

“I think you got the pressure up too high,” Mario said, as he smoothed out his soggy, wrinkled edges.

“Is the shower working, though?” Luigi asked.

“Nah. It’s still dripping,” Mario said. He picked up his hammer and twirled it in his hands. Clearly, it was not the tool for the job. “If only I remembered where I left that stupid wrench.”

“I got it right here,” Luigi answered, taking the wrench in question off of his belt.

Mario looked incredulously at the tool his brother held.

"What the heck are you doing with that!?" Mario fumed.

"I was going to use it on the shower, before you told me to go get the mail!" Luigi rebutted.

"For pasta's sake, bro! We're doing a job!"

"So why'd you send me to get the mail!?"

"Because Parakarry dropped it off! Are we supposed to ignore the mail when it comes!?"

"When we're working: yeah!!"

Both brother's shouted back and forth in Italian, using words that would be considered vulgar in any existing language. Some without an equivalent in another language. Finally, the argument came to an end when Luigi started waving the royal envelope in Mario's face.

"Perché ti importa se vedo solo Daisy durante gli eventi sportive!? Tu vedi Peach ogni giorno! E anche quando non lo fai, ricevi una posta da lei!” Luigi shouted.

Once Mario saw the letter, all irritation and frustration left him. A letter from Princess Peach was always a good thing. Be it an invitation to a royal ball, or simply telling Mario she had baked a cake she wanted to share with him, it was always something that couldn't be missed.

"Letter from Peach? This can only be good," Mario said as he opened the envelope and took out the letter.

"What's it say?" Luigi asked as he tried to look over his brother's shoulder.

"Quit nosing, Luigi! She's not your girlfriend," Mario said. "You'd have to see her less often for that."

Luigi reached to throttle Mario's neck, but was held back by his brother's palm on his face. This left Mario time to read the letter he was given.

Dear Mario Bros,

Please come to the castle immediately.

--Peach

“Hm. That’s weird,” Mario said.

He unconsciously paced forward, making Luigi fall over flat on his face.

“What’s weird? Luigi asked, as he picked himself up from the grassy ground.

“Nothing. It’s just that Peach isn’t normally so...what’s the word?” Mario said.

Luigi peeked over Mario’s shoulder and caught a glimpse of the incredibly short correspondence.

“Concise?” Luigi suggested.

“That’s the word.”

Both took one last look over the letter.

“I guess we better go to the castle now. Best not keep my girl waiting,” Mario said.

“You think it’s something serious?” Luigi asked, as he and Mario walked to the green pipe at the edge of their property.

“I guess we’ll find out when we get there,” Mario said, before jumping into the pipe, swirling around the perimeter, and disappearing into the depths.

Luigi followed shortly after his brother.


Toad Town was a friendly place, populated by equally friendly toads. Each toad peacefully lived their lives on this day, never having to worry about the fearful, calamitous events the Mario Bros. took care of only the week before.

From the green pipe in the town square, Mario and Luigi sprang forth, and began walking along the construction paper path that led to the castle.

Being the big shots that they were around the small town, they were greeted by nearly everyone who they passed.

Vanna T. showed off her new outfit she had just designed in her own shop. Froo T. offered free samples of his produce. Tayce T. let the brothers have the leftover koopa leaf pesto she made.

After the waves of compliments that crashed over the two, they found themselves at the gates of Princess Peach’s castle.

“Sorry guys, no time to chat. Official business,” Mario said to the guards at the front gate.

Neither guard was actually paying any attention to the plumbers that walked by. Between the sleeping at his post, and the one playing on his switch, anyone at all could have walked past them.

The inside of the castle was as peaceful as ever, with its laminated checker cardboard floors, and its whitewashed columns.

“Ah. The Mario Brothers,” the castle chamberlain, Regalla T., greeted them. “Princess Peach said she would be expecting you two any moment now.”

“The letter she sent did say to come immediately,” Mario answered, showing the pink envelope to the chamberlain.

“Yes, yes. She knew that would get you two here quickly as possible,” Regalla T. said, “Now, her highness is waiting for you in the rear courtyard. I suggest you not keep her waiting.”

The chamberlain walked off to continue her domestic duties, while the brothers proceeded to the back of the castle.

“Sheesh, what a dry shroom,” Luigi said.

“I know. But, she’s good at her job, so Peach keeps her around,” Mario answered.

When they exited the rear doors, and climbed down the flight of stairs the ground floor, they brothers were somewhat puzzled by what they found.

There, Princess Peach’s staff was packing luggages into the Mushroom Princess’s personal blimp. The sight was something of an oddity, since Peach hadn’t said anything about going on a trip anytime soon.

Up at the top of the stairs that were used to board the blimp, Princess Peach appeared in the doorway of her airship. She turned slightly to allow another steward past her.

“Hey! Peach! I’m here!” Mario called.

Hearing the voice of her beloved Mario brought a smile to the princess’s face.

“Mario!” she called back.

Peach tried to walk down the steps, only to be blocked by another steward boarding. When she tried again, another steward boarded.

“One moment, please,” Peach called to Mario.

The Mushroom Princess produced her pink parasol from her item pocket, and jumped over the next approaching steward. Riding on the gentle breeze that made her body ripple slightly, Peach floated down to the ground, landing with a dainty tap of her shoes.

“Here I am,” Peach greeted Mario, embracing her boyfriend.

“Ciao bella,” Mario greeted back, before kissing her hello.

Seeing the two so happy together made Luigi think of his own girlfriend over in Sarasaland. The two of them had lately been corresponding over emails on their mailbox switches, but they hadn’t been in the same room since a recent tennis tournament.

“So, what’s this business you wanted us here for? Is there something going on?” Luigi wondered.

“Oh, yes. Something wonderful,” Peach answered.

“Well, don’t keep us in suspense,” Mario said.

“Of course. You both know how I’ve been trying to maintain friendly relations with our neighboring kingdoms, don’t you?” Peach began.

“Yeah. I remember you told me about that slumber party with your friends in Equestria last week,” Mario

“Mm-hm,” Peach nodded. “And it just so happens that during that particular stayover, you and Luigi came up.”

Mario smiled proudly, knowing Peach would only tout him to her friends. Beside him, Luigi’s face painted itself a brighter shade of red from his name being brought up at a royal slumber party.

“Both of the ruling princesses of the land were quite impressed with what I told them about you two. And just the other day, I received a letter from them,” Peach said, presenting an envelope that was adorned with a stamp that showed an ornate sun and moon. “You see, every year, they have a ball at their palace to celebrate the birth of their kingdom. And I’ve received an invitation from them, so that the subjects of their kingdom can get to know their royal neighbors.”

“And I bet they want us to go with you,” Mario said.

“As a matter of fact, they specifically request your attendance by name in the postscript,” Peach said, showing the invitation, where at the bottom Mario and Luigi were both requested as guests.

"Hm. A swanky banquet," Mario pondered.

"A royal reception," Luigi added.

"Loads of new folks to meet."

"Probably a mile long buffet table."

"We're in," Mario and Luigi both said at once.

"When do we leave," Mario asked.

"Now," Peach said.

"Now!?” Mario said, as he and Luigi both jumped into the air. “How do you think we're going to be ready on such short notice?"

"We aren't even packed yet," Luigi said.

"Taken care of," Peach answered as she indicated two of her servants, who each displayed a suitcase full of blue overalls, white gloves and respective red and green shirts.

"We still have to pay our bills," Mario said.

"Paid in full," Peach answered as one of the servants ran off with a bag of coins to pay for the brothers' utilities.

"You planned this ahead of time, didn't you," Mario asked.

"A lady is always prepared," Peach giggled, before she offered her arm to Mario, "Shall we away?"

"With pleasure, my lady," Mario said as he readily took Peach's arm, and placed a kiss on her cheek.

For Luigi, the chance to visit a royal gathering in another kingdom was not only a chance to improve international relations. It was a chance to rendezvous with his special lady.

Luigi ran ahead of the couple and walked backwards toward the airship's open door. "Hey, do we have time to swing by Sarasaland? I want to see if Daisy can go to this too."

"I'm sorry, Luigi. I already asked her if she wanted to come. But, she said she was going to be competing in an international tournament," Peach apologized.

"What!?" Luigi exclaimed, just before his heel bumped the first step onto the airship and made him fall over backwards.

"If it makes you feel better, she was sad about leaving you without a date," Peach consoled.

Luigi answered with a despaired moan.

"Cheer up, bro," Mario said as he jumped over Luigi and helped Peach step around him, "Maybe there'll be someone at the ball you can dance with. Then you can only ever dance with her again at the next ball."

If Luigi wasn't in such a deep blue funk, he would have shot a verbal jab back at his brother. Instead, he sulked on the steps while Mario and Peach happily discussed what they would wear to the ball. Until he yelped loudly when the steps folded up with him still on them.


In the furthest part of the land, anchored above a pit of molten red and orange pulp rested Bowser's Keep. An imposing structure where only the brave entered. Them, or any member of the Koopa Troop, that is.

Each one of Bowser's soldiers went about their business as usual, but something was off about today. Their Lord Bowser had not been seen in days. The last time any of them (even Kammy Koopa) saw him, he said he had something important to do and locked himself in his throne room.

Since then there was no sign of him, although noises could be heard inside occasionally. Strange noises, like sounds of struggle, and a voice that didn't belong to their cranky leader.

There had been nothing but unrest since he had gone. But, their unease was about to increase tenfold by what they were about to face.

The doors to the throne room burst open, slamming two of the guards against the walls. The sudden noise startled everyone else present, and were more startled by the sight before them.

It was a creature like a dragon, but not like the dragons they knew. Instead of the towering behemoth that sent fear even through their ranks, what they saw was a creature slightly larger than themselves, with four legs ending in bird-like claws, a long tail that wrapped nearly twice around itself. Given the size and proportions of it, it almost seemed like any member of the Koopa Troop could have jumped on its back and rode off into the sunset.

"Hey! Who's this guy," one of the koopas asked.

"You remember letting this guy in," another guard asked.

"Where's Lord Bowser!? What were you doing in there with him," said a third.

"Bowser?” the golden stranger scoffed. “You don’t have to worry about him anymore. I crumpled him up, and put him in the trash where he belongs. So, from here on out, you're working for me," the creature answered.

"MY WRINKLED FANNY WE ARE," croaked an old voice.

From somewhere above, Kammy Koopa flew into the grand hall on her broom to confront the newcomer.

"Who do you think you are, you gilded pretty boy!? Huh!? You got no right to comin' in here and ordering us around like you own the place! Get Bowser back here, NOW!" the hag said, threateningly brandishing her magic wand in the stranger’s face.

The golden stranger didn’t even flinch at the sight of the magic wand. Instead, he simply raised a claw and pushed it aside.

"The Bowser ship's sailed, you dusty tumor,” the stranger said. “I'm here to shake things up, and make you guys look good again.”

“Oh yeah. Sure,” said the first guard.

“Pft. Fat chance of that,” said the second.

Kammy Koopa glared at the less than inspiring morale of her own troops.

“You don’t believe me? How about this: I just ended the game of the guy Mario’s been fighting for years. What does that say to you?” the stranger said.

A wave of hushed agreements ran through the ranks of the guards present.

“Aw, horsefeathers. I don’t buy it,” Kammy said.

“You don’t have to buy it. You just have to look at the facts. I’m way beyond anything you’ve ever had in your ranks before. And I can make you all more powerful than you’ve ever been before,” the stranger said. “With me leading you, we can plow through the other kingdoms like daffodils! It doesn't matter how weak or how strong any one of them are, because with my leadership you guys will be able to handle anyone and anything that even tries to sneeze in your direction.”

That certainly did sound promising to the present troops, who had been defeated countless times by a blue collar worker.

“What do you say, guys? Why don't we go out there, and paint the town red? And why stop there? How about we drench the whole world a new coat of cherry. All you have to do is follow me," the stranger said.

The guards all started smiling under their helmets, intrigued by the prospect of success at long last. After so many defeats, they had lost all hope of ever winning. But, the idea of a new leader made it tempting to accept.

"You know what: heck with it. I'm in," said one of the guards.

"Yeah. I like the way this guy talks. He's got a kind of...confidence," said another.

"Not like that stupid Bowser. That guy was all theatrics, and no planning. This guy sounds like he knows what he's doing."

"I like this guy. I'm on board."

"Me too," said the two guards who were smashed behind the doors when the stranger first arrived.

"What are you ninnies thinking!?" Kammy Koopa yelled at the guards. "Some gold-plated thug walks in, overthrows our beloved ruler, starts making a bunch of empty promises, and you low-grade grunts all side with him!? Lord Bowser would be ashamed of you!"

"Doesn't matter how he's feeling where he is. It's all about me now, little lady," the stranger answered. "So, how about you putter off on that old duster of yours and spread the word about the new guy in charge?"

"Forget it, pal," Kammy Koopa asserted. "I don't take orders from no 24 karat jerk! And I'll have you know, this is a vintage double star model broom!"

"You can tell its vintage from all the mold in its straws. Get some crackers and wine, and you could serve it to guests," the stranger said.

"Why you--!" Kammy Koopa said, as she flared up her magic wand.

It was only a snort from the stranger that released a golden fireball from his nostrils. That was all it took to reduce the broom to ash, sending Kammy Koopa landing hard on her wrinkled fanny.

"Ohhhhh! After fifty years, I just paid that thing off," the hag moaned.

"Don't worry about it. I'll buy you a new broom," the stranger said.

"Oh yeah? How new?" Kammy Koopa asked.

"The newest there is. Even if its not on the market yet," the golden dragon said, with a promising smile.

"Could I get premium gold straws?" Kammy asked.

"With platinum tips,” the stranger answered.

"What about a redwood handle?"

"I can get it carved from the Great Boggley Tree."

"Six cylinders?"

"Why not eight?"

"Hot dog! All hail his shiny highness!" Kammy declared.

"I knew you'd come around. Now, let's get busy. Some of my friends are eager to start winning," the stranger said as he walked away.

"Yes, Your Sparkliness," Kammy Koopa answered. After she left, she stepped back into the room to give one last admonishment. "Don't you guys have work to do!? Spread the word! We're under new management!"

"Yes, ma'am!"

"Right away, ma'am!"

And the guards went to their work.


In the skies high above the land of friendship and harmony, not one member of the Mushroom Kingdom had any way of knowing that a new adventure was about to begin for them all.

Paper Mario
Brotherhood is Harmony

Featuring Luigi

Author's Note:

Just imagine a paper Luigi pushing in that last line of text when the main title appears on the title screen of the game.
So, how did everyone like the rewrite of this chapter. I only assume that by not answering, you enjoy the story.
But, enough joking. The reason for the rewrite was that this whole story was just one big experiment for me. A way to try out new ways of writing, and try out new territories, expand authoring horizons, etc. In the end, the whole thing came out looking pretty good, but also pretty choppy. Now, I am going to be using what I have learned from writing it to go back and refine it from the beginning. It's going to be pretty much the same story, but fixed up a little.
The changes here in the prologue are pretty major. First of all, it's much more slow-paced, like the typical opening of a 'Paper Mario' game. The reason for this is that in addition to being more in line with the feel of the games, it leads to a bigger impact when everything crumbles later in the story. I don't know about any of you, but I didn't find the opening to Super Paper Mario to be quite as impactful as the first two 'Paper Mario' games. I can't say precisely how well I did myself, but I think I did alright here.
Another change was to the opening narration itself. The reason for that was that I've decided it's not necessarily a good thing to outright lie to the readers, then present the truth over the course of the story. In this case, you are going to know a little bit more of the actual truth. But, not the whole truth.
In the end, the inspiration for the opening narration remains the same, inspired by the stories in the lyrics of bands like Rhapsody of Fire, Ancient Bards and Twilight Force (no, not like our unicorn friend (I know she's an alicorn now, but I personally always liked Twilight better as a unicorn)). The high fantasy themes, and the melodramatic storytelling of the songs by those bands I think are still a pretty good fit for this story in general.
The villain's identity is still going to remain a mystery at this point. And clues will still be peppered in here and there about who he is. At this point, however, we will remain clueless.
For any readers new to this story, the friends that he calls to are all going to remain a mystery until their reveals. Also, they are all original characters who have not appeared in either crossed over media in this story.
For any hopefuls out there: Parakarry won't be joining Mario for his adventures this time. In fact, there will be no returning characters for the journey, as they will be either original creations or existing characters from Equestria.
Just so you know, the action scenes in this story will still not play out like they do in the games, where they are turn-based and the like. Rather, they will play out like they would in any other written format. If we had to read through the entire process of the characters choosing what action to use, how they do it, and the order of attack (Mario, partner, enemy, repeat), it would bog down the action. I know, because I tried writing the action like that during these rewrites. It really isn't all that much fun to read.
That's about all I can think to say for now. If you have anymore questions, please do ask. I will answer to the best of my ability. With that, rock on \m/