Memories and Reality
The sight gave Prince Blueblood a deep, sickening feeling somewhere in the deepest caverns of his chest. Even simply standing here stories upon stories above the sight of the large crowds of ponies walking past the drawbridge and towards the castle made an old, nervous feeling that he thought he had buried long ago stirr up inside of him. He felt messy and unkempt and most of all unready for the light of day despite the fact that it was nearing noon. He had spent the majority of his morning since waking up far before the sun rose brushing his mane and soaking in his bath hoping that his thoughts would drift elsewhere for even a moment. Right now his face ached with the heavy hang of a frown, his mane whipping gently in the cool yet humid air. The balcony’s height made him feel queasy to look down, but it at least was a different kind of nerve striking within him.
Blueblood lifted his hoof and placed it against his face before rubbing it in gentle, soothing circles that he hoped would cause the forming headache he could feel coming to go away. The sight of the rain clouds above promising rain he knew would come sooner or later, large in thanks to Cloudsdale’s impeccable timing, also made him feel ill. He hated rain, especially in such humidity. It would ruin his mane and all the work he had put into it by forcing it to look ragged and frizzy in the worst possible way. Even the sweat gathering under his thick dress shirt and red bowtie made him begin to feel as though he had wasted all those hours cleaning himself. His chest began to feel tighter and tighter with this sensation of feeling overwhelmed about absolutely nothing until he shut his eyes and bit down hard on his lip.
“Stupid,” Blueblood hissed under his breath in a quiet beratement of himself.
Prince Blueblood’s own personal pity party was interrupted by the sudden sound of a loud, creaking door to his bedroom being pushed open. His head turned slowly, and his heart leapt for just a moment out of panic as he instantly brought his hoof to his mane to smooth it out and his other to tug at his bowtie. The sight of a guard with grey fur and striking gold armor made his frown deepen as he walked from his balcony and back into his expansive bedroom where his hooves clattered against the faded purple marble tiles.
“My Prince,” The guard said with a sudden bow.
“What is it now?” Blueblood snapped impatiently. He was falling into old habits that he didn’t enjoy, such as snapping at the guards set outside of his room. “Honestly, today of all days?”
“I-I’m sorry, Sir,” The guard stuttered with a bit of nerves as Blueblood looked away. He thought about apologizing but the thought quickly crossed itself out of his mind.
“Spit it out,” Blueblood said, brushing his hoof down the length of his blonde mane.
“There’s a pony here to see you, Sir,” The guard said. “He’s at the gates right now, but I wasn’t sure if yo-”
“Another?” Blueblood sighed lengthily. “I thought I told you to send anypony wishing to pay condolences away for today. Was I really not clear?”
“Yes, well, Sir,” The guard began. There was a clear glimmer of what Blueblood might have recognized as irritation in the guard’s eyes if he wasn’t insistently tugging lightly on the button on his dress shirt. “It’s Fancy Pants.”
Blueblood paused, and in that moment his hoof accidently pulled a bit too hard and one of his buttons came undone. He frowned and looked away, his chest feeling tighter than before. Maybe the guard noticed this, and that was why he took a step forward. Blueblood didn’t want this guard’s pity, or anybody’s today for that matter. Yet… Fancy Pants was always the exception to any rule Blueblood had ever put into place.
“Just send him in,” Blueblood sighed, turning away from the guard.
The prince redid his button slowly, his eyes cast downward to the marble flooring. He could still feel the breeze from outside against his face as it whipped against the frilly, silk curtains. His hooves felt big and awkward trying to pin up his button once more, his mind lost somewhere and already sinking deeper into that state he had been in. The thought of Fancy Pants visiting him usually made him happy, if not more approachable. Yet today was different from before, it always was different from before. He hadn’t permitted even Shining Armor or Cadence to see him in all this time on this day, even since he had met Fancy Pants. It didn’t help that the two of them were gone away at the Crystal Empire for Celestia knows how long.
Blueblood closed his eyes, trying to sooth his beating heart and difficult breathing. He was more nervous than he truly had any right to be. It was a five minute walk from where the guards would have cut off Fancy Pants to his bedroom, and Blueblood spent the time absorbed in his mind sitting there with his tail lightly swishing back and forth and his hooves rubbing together and gripping tightly against one another.
At first he heard a knock, and then the prince opened his eyes.
“Get in here,” Blueblood called.
The door creaked again just as Blueblood stood up slowly, his head turning over his shoulder to see the sight of a guard slip away just as Fancy Pants came into view. Despite the warm, humid weather the stallion was still wearing a thick black dress coat and dress shirt with bowtie so massive it was near comedical. He was laughing, as though he were just finishing up something funny with the guard who Blueblood noticed was smiling as well.
“No, no, truly, it’s fine,” Fancy Pants chuckled. “Well, thank you for letting me see my lover regardless. Ta ta, darling.”
Fancy Pants turned to Blueblood, that smile he carried still warm when he approached with the door closing behind him slowly. Blueblood tried to smile back, but when it felt difficult he let it drop and turned his head away.
“Hello, Sweetheart,” Fancy Pants said. When he came close he kissed Blueblood lightly on the cheek and for just a moment Blueblood felt the tiniest bit better. A hoof rested on his opposing cheek and he smiled, genuine this time, and looked to Fancy.
“Greetings,” Blueblood chuckled, though it came out more forced than he intended.
“I suppose I should feel special,” Fancy Pants laughed in that quiet, hearty way he always did. “I truly have the VIP access today, don’t I? There must be a hundred ponies out there.”
“That would be a rough estimate,” Blueblood mumbled when he bit on the inside of his cheek. He looked back to Fancy Pants and smiled. For a moment they kissed, but it was more comforting and less passionate as Fancy enjoyed doing. When they parted, Blueblood said “I thought you were busy in a meeting today, Fancy.”
“Oh, business business,” Fancy pulled away slightly and waved a hoof in front of his face while shaking his head. He began to walk slowly to the bed and hopped up onto it just to lay down on his belly with his head facing Blueblood. “I postponed it when I realized what today was, Sweetheart.”
“You shouldn’t have…” Blueblood mumbled.
“It’s my company,” Fancy Pants laughed. “Don’t worry so much, Sweetheart. Come lay down with me, you look absolutely frazzled.”
“Is it that noticeable?” Blueblood mumbled awkwardly as he felt his mane. He drew close to Fancy Pants and slowly slipped onto the bed to lay down beside him. For a moment he stared down at the floor, but then he laid his head on Fancy’s shoulder and let his muscles slowly relax. Fancy lifted a hoof, wrapping it over his back and kissing him lightly on his forehead. Blueblood giggled, once more his feelings lifting for just a moment.
“So how long has it been now?” Fancy Pants asked, his tone noticeably lighter and softer than before. He wrapped his leg tighter around Blueblood’s shoulder and pulled him closer despite the humid air. It made Blueblood feel warm, but in a good way. “Since your father’s death, I mean.”
“Eight years now,” Blueblood said, drawing his hooves closer together. “I wish that ponies didn’t make such a big deal out of it. You think they’ll mock me in the tabloids for not leaving my room again?”
“You worry too much,” Fancy Pants said, his free hoof finding it’s way to Blueblood’s chin and touching it gently. “You’re starting to sound as you did when we first met, Sweetheart.”
“Mmm,” Blueblood responded. For just a second he could feel his eyes sting as he settled down and rested his chin on his folded legs. He stared down, and Fancy squirmed closer to him yet again until the older unicorn was nearly latched to his side.
“Come now,” Fancy Pants chuckled lightly, but it was closer to comforting over anything. “Let me be a good boyfriend for once, won’t you? I haven’t made one naughty comment this entire time, I think I earned that much.”
“This might be the one time I might appreciate one of those,” Blueblood chuckled back in response.
“Well it’s not very attractive to see you this upset,” Fancy Pants responded with another kiss against the base of Blueblood’s horn. Blueblood cocked his head closer to Fancy Pants so that for that moment they could nuzzle lightly together, and so that his chest could feel a bit less tight. “If I could solve every problem we face with sex I’d be a much happier stallion, you hear me?”
“Hehe,” Blueblood couldn’t help but giggle. Fancy smiled back and put his hoof back onto Blueblood’s chin.
“There you go, Sweetheart,” Fancy Pants said in a soothing sort of voice. “You look so lively when you smile like that.”
Blueblood felt his cheeks grow hot and he chuckled again. He nuzzled himself closer to Fancy Pants, and for that moment he was able to forget about his worries. The large, older Unicorn was big enough so that he could nearly melt his body into him and feel safe and warm and most of all loved. He took in deep, slow breaths and simply smelled Fancy’s cologne on his shirt. This happiness was short fleeting, as it faded quickly to return to the thoughts of before even as Fancy’s hoof ran up and down his chest in soothing circles.
“Ponies have been coming all day,” Blueblood mumbled once he unburied his lips from somewhere at the base of Fancy’s thick neck. He looked up and settled his head on Fancy’s leg as though it were a pillow. “They always want to tell me just how sorry they are for my loss, even after all this time.”
Blueblood sighed.
The soft bed creaked ever so slightly as Fancy Pants turned onto his back, allowing Blueblood to scoot up and lay his head on his chest. He let out a whinny and stared up at the ceiling, and from this angle his monocle was caught in a ray of light that made it difficult to see the expression in his eye.
“Is that why you’re locked away in here?” Fancy questioned. “To avoid ponies?”
Blueblood for a moment was silent, the air almost thick with the tone of voice Fancy carried. It was a mix of understanding and disappointment in equal layers that made his chest tighten.
“Ponies don’t… They don’t know,” Blueblood said. His voice was hushed and just barely above a whisper. “Every single day of my life he pushed me to be… Just a icon, I suppose. I remember just day in and day out ever since I can remember I was scared of him.”
Blueblood closed his eyes to push away the sting he felt. Fancy Pants touched his cheek with the back of his hoof, yet he still didn’t yield his watering eyes.
“All he ever cared about was what I looked like to the public. Some days when he knew we would be out by noon he’d wake me up at four in the morning just to be prepped and pampered for hours on end. I didn’t… I didn’t feel like I was ever good enough without all of that, Fancy. L-Like if I couldn’t look perfect no matter what then something was wrong with me.”
“It’s okay, Sweetheart.” Fancy Pants said in a soothing tone. He squeezed Blueblood briefly and then sat up on the bed to reach down his hoof and touch Blueblood’s cheek. Blueblood looked up at him but then turned away his head.
“Ponies only remember the image he used to give off,” Blueblood said in a sniffling tone. “I was so nervous to just talk to ponies fearing I might slip up. He used to yell at me when I couldn’t understand or do things like my violin or painting… He used to just wait till we were back in the castle and ask me again and again why I screwed up something I didn’t even remember doing until I cried… I can’t stand that nopony but Shining and Cadence saw that of him. Every single year they gather around talking about what a great loss it was and see me as some kind of monster when I don’t bother to so much as spit on his grave.”
Blueblood felt like curling up. He wanted to be alone when he was this emotional, not even for Fancy Pants to see him. Fancy touched him again and he had to resist the urge to shudder when his eyes snapped open. He could feel them brim with tears. Fancy’s hoof drew down to the bowtie around his neck which he grasped lightly and gave a gentle tug on.
“Remember, Sweetheart,” Fancy Pants began. “When I took you on our first real date at that party? When you wore that striking red outfit that ponies talked about for weeks? Nopony had ever seen something so… startling on a stallion. It’s always that dreary white and black if you want to be seen as normal. But you wore what I made you that night. That wasn’t the pony your father made you be. Everypony saw the real you that night.”
Blueblood sat up slowly and looked down to his bowtie. Before he had met Fancy Pants it had always been blue, the color of his family’s crest. Now he always wore it red in what he supposed was both a defiance of his past and a reminder of that night. It had been so long since he had worn it blue that he had forgotten why he had changed it in the first place.
“I’m your rose,” Blueblood mumbled.
“That’s right,” Fancy Pants smiled. He leaned forward and kissed Blueblood. When he pulled away that smile was still there, and Blueblood found one of his own. “I love the real you, Sweetheart.”
Blueblood took Fancy Pants’ hoof in his own and then lowered it to his chest where he set it flatly over his beating heart. He nodded his head slowly, his face fading from a smile to blank. He looked to the balcony where he knew if he went he would see a hundred ponies all gathering in lines towards the royal family mausoleum to pay their respects. It was always those who ponies could still remember who drew the crowds, and those long past for generations were all but forgotten.
“What do you think they see of him?” Blueblood asked, glancing towards Fancy Pants. “Of my father, I mean.”
“Well,” Fancy Pants raised one of his brows. “If I recall correctly I was in Canterlot on the day of his passing. I think I was getting prepared to pitch a new dress or something to the winter season line. I don’t recall much of his impact in personality if that’s what you’re saying.”
“Mmm,” Blueblood responded with a shrug of his shoulders. “He cared so much about just not being forgotten… I think he was upset that Aunty Celestia was always in more power than him… Our royal blood was something really old, I believe. Something that had power thousands of years ago when royal families were still strong. There’s barely any of us left, and since my mother died… I was his only chance at having the perfect son.”
Blueblood kept frowning.
“I don’t think he knew,” Blueblood said with a melancholy tone entering his voice. “That I liked stallions, that is. I think it would have broken his heart if I told him that I didn’t want to continue the bloodline as soon as I realized I had feelings for Shining… it’s all he ever wanted of me. O-Or maybe he would have yelled at me as being broken or something…”
“Sweetheart,” Fancy Pants said, reaching out his hoof. “You’re upsetting yourself.”
Blueblood sniffled, realizing that once more his eyes were brimming with tears.
“I’m sorry,” Blueblood had to fight for it not to come out as a whimper. He felt his shoulders shake slightly when he lifted his leg and wiped at his eyes. Felt something fabric touch his nose and when he jumped to remove his leg he saw a small handkerchief in a light cyan magical glow. Fancy Pants was smiling reassuringly at him.
“Don’t apologize,” Fancy Pants stated. “Don’t ever apologize for hating that stallion.”
“I… I didn’t…” Blueblood bit the inside of his cheek. It was difficult to agree, a deep knife plunging deeply into his gut of guilt and shame and terrible, horrible feelings. He was reminded all too much of the funeral where he was so sickened he had to leave, screaming how he hated his father and how everypony but him would feel sorrow for his passing. Even that memory made him hurt. Those words didn’t feel right but like poison that ponies would judge him for if they heard.
Fancy Pants touched his hoof reassuringly. It was becoming harder and harder not to cry.
“Why don’t we take a bath?” Fancy Pants asked. “It’s awfully humid, you must be terribly miserable in that dress shirt.”
“I already took one today,” Blueblood mumbled even as Fancy was tugging on his hoof.
“Yes, but,” Fancy Pants put on a grin and raised his eyebrows. “Not one with your favorite boyfriend, I imagine?”
Blueblood wanted to smile. He didn’t like it when Fancy Pants would care for him like this. It made him feel weak and powerless, and a smile was the least he could have done to fight those feelings as though he were enjoying this moment. Yet, he simply couldn’t. He still still closing in on the edge of tears when he was pulled into his startlingly pink bathroom with the tub in the back that was magenta and as big as a kiddie swimming pool. It took three faucets to fill in an even remotely timely manner, all of which Fancy Pants hopped into the tub to turn on one by one.
Fancy Pants hopped back out before the water could touch his hooves as he already began to pull off his jacket and tug at his bowtie. Blueblood stared at him a whine, unable to meet his eyes for fear of his tears soon spilling over.
“C’mon, Sweetheart,” Fancy Pants assured when he drew close, his bowtie hanging in strands on either side of his neck. He touched the top button on Blueblood’s dress shirt. “Forget about those ponies outside, you deserve to relax with me for a bit. Plus, I know you’re just dying for me to take off this shirt.”
“Hehe,” Blueblood tried to resist giggling but Fancy was simply so charismatic even in this moment that it was hard. He both loved and hated just how easily Fancy Pants could manipulate a crowd into what he wanted. He truly was the life of a party even when it was just the two of them. It was his front, the same way being perfect had been Blueblood’s own.
Fancy Pants kissed his cheek and then giggled as well. When he undid the top button on Blueblood’s dress shirt he didn’t fight, each button revealing more of his chest which stuck out in fluffy tufts that Fancy giggled upon touching. He teasingly kissed Blueblood’s neck when he undid the necktie, to which Blueblood brought up his legs to hug around Fancy Pants’ neck so not to pull away instinctively at the ticklish feeling.;
“Come now, Sweetheart,” Fancy Pants said, walking backwards until he put one leg into the half filled tub. He spoke up to be heard under the running water of the faucets. “I’m not afraid to be uncouth and splash you if you don’t hurry that royal rear up!”
“Fine, fine,” Blueblood rolled his eyes and trotted forward, taking a step into the steamy yet not scaling water. It was warm and relaxing despite the humid air. Fancy Pants fully removed his dress shirt, tossing it over to the sink before he himself sunk to the floor of the tub and let out a loud, relaxing moan of relief.
“Oh, I need to buy one of these,” Fancy Pants groaned loudly. “Honestly I feel so cramped in my tub these days.”
“You’re asking me to poke fun at your weight now,” Blueblood giggled.
“Harsh,” Fancy Pants shrugged. Even fully laid out as he was Blueblood wasn’t even touching Fancy when he also settled into the tub. It wasn’t until one of Fancy’s legs brushed against his own intentionally did they meet, and Fancy Pants met his eyes with a wicked smile.
It took a few minutes for the water to fill entirely, in which Fancy Pants used his magic to turn off the three facets at once. He put his legs behind his head and sighed once more now that the room was quiet aside from the gentle drips of remaining water. Blueblood couldn’t help but feeling a bit relaxed with Fancy so close and the water so warm.
“You know,” Fancy Pants said, staring up at the ceiling. “This whole situation is reminding me an awful lot about something.”
“What’s that?” Blueblood asked.
“Well,” Fancy Pants’ lips curled into a frown. “Back when I was in school, so imagine around the time Celestia wasn’t quite in power yet,”
“Fancy,” Blueblood rolled his eyes, and earned a chuckle from his lover.
“Fine, fine, it wasn’t that long ago,” Fancy Pants laughed. “But, about twenty years ago, still. There was this awfully rude, dreadful stallion. He wasn’t truly popular or anything, but he had a large number of friends. I recall he always used to pick on me for… whatever reason. I think he didn’t like that I had a boyfriend or something of the like, but I also think he was just finding any excuse to be a brat.”
“It’s kind of hard to imagine you having a bully,” Blueblood admitted with a bit of a blush. “I’ve seen you talk your way out of a million bad business deals.”
“Well, let’s say my silver tongue was still an in progress sort of thing,” Fancy Pants laughed. “But that’s not really the point. I just remember him making my life a living tartarus. He would follow me home from school sometimes taunting me, and it used to really scare me. He used to steal my books between classes and always called me prissy for working in my parent’s fabric shop. Well, one day he suddenly just… got sick.”
Fancy Pants frowned now.
“It was out of nowhere, really. I think it was something he had for a while but didn’t quite catch until it was far too late. When he died I remember feeling so relieved… and then guilty beyond belief for feeling that. Everypony always talked about how great he was and how he would be missed. They called us all for a big speech in his honor. They dedicated the yearbook to him, for Celestia’s sake. I remember sitting in the crowds and all I could think about was how much I hated that stallion.”
“Hated?” Blueblood asked, a bit disbelieving. It was quite difficult to imagine Fancy Pants hating anypony, either. His boyfriend who was sweet to everypony even if it was just a front never outright said that he hated anypony.
“Yes,” Fancy Pants said with a nod. “It took me a long time to come to terms with that, but I truly hated him. I decided that I didn’t care how tragically he passed or how much others missed him, he was awful to me and made my life awful. I don’t… I don’t know what it’s like to lose a family member who you hated, Sweetheart.”
The word made Blueblood’s chest tighten.
“But… I know that it shouldn’t matter if he was your father,” Fancy Pants said sternly, looking Blueblood in the eye despite the prince glancing away. “If he treated you as awful as you say he did, which I have no doubt, then he wasn’t a father worth loving.”
Blueblood bit his lip. He opened his mouth but then closed it, his eyes watering.
“I…” Blueblood nearly whimpered. “I hated him.”
Blueblood felt his tears finally spill over. He covered his eyes with his wet, watery hooves and bit hard on his tongue to resist the urge of his breath trembling. He heard the water part as Fancy drew near and hugged him. He couldn’t stop the tears now, even if he closed his eyes. He felt shameful and dirty in a way he couldn’t explain, mostly because he knew he had said the truth.
“I-I’m sorry,” Blueblood stuttered. “I shouldn’t… shouldn’t cry.”
“It’s alright,” Fancy Pants said, pulling one of Blueblood’s hooves from his face so that he could hug him back properly. “I can hardly tell it from the water.”
“T-That’s a lie,” Blueblood chuckled forcefully.
“Mmm,” Fancy Pants responded, kissing Blueblood on the base of his horn. He hugged him tight, almost as strong as a bear, and then loosened that grip so that Blueblood could settle on Fancy’s chest. Blueblood began sniffling, yet his minor outburst of tears were already slowing down.
“I know I’m not exactly the same as a loving father or anything of the sort,” Fancy Pants said gently. “But if you want, you can think of me as like your family. Shining and Cadence, too, if you want.”
“T-That’s a bit strange coming from my boyfriend,” Blueblood actually laughed. It was startling even to him.
“Perhaps,” Fancy Pants shrugged. “But, I’ll be there for you. I truly love you.”
“I love you too,” Blueblood responded. He wrapped both legs around Fancy Pants and squeezed. He kept his eyes shut, even when Fancy lifted his chin to kiss him properly. Blueblood kissed him back, not just once but at least five times. Each time he felt stronger and less upset. When they parted it was only because for once Fancy pulled away and then still Blueblood kissed his neck.
“We should go,” Fancy Pants said. “After this bath we should go to my place. We can cook a nice dinner together, and of course I can give you the royal treatment as per usual.”
“Is the royal treatment still just touching near my flank a lot?” Blueblood giggled.
Fancy Pants smiled down. “I am just a dirty old man, after all. All I wanna do is take advantage of young, emotional, and pretty princes.”
Blueblood rolled his eyes, but still smiled.
“Alright then,” Blueblood said. “Being together tonight sounds wonderful, Fancy.”
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This is an interesting story. Its well written
but I'm slightly confused about the role Shinning has in this?
7792967 It's in the universe as another long fic of mine called Blossoming Roses where Shining Armor was a childhood friend of Blueblood whom he used to have a crush on.
>> Storm Butt
Ah, ok