• Member Since 22nd Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen Dec 3rd, 2023

twilightsparkle3562


I am a brony from Massachusetts with Autism who enjoys MLP, Disney and writing!

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Once the Friendship Games are concluded, Sunset Shimmer apologizes to Twilight Sparkle for shouting at her during the Tri-Cross Relay. *Now edited by SuperPinkBrony12.

*Written at Fillycon 2016 in Philadelphia, PA.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 18 )

Nice, sweet little story.

A bit of advice, try using more contractions and less formal wording when characters are speaking. Your grammar is excellent, but when people speak their grammar tends to get lazy.

Other than that little bit of style quibbling, again, it was a good story. I wish you the best of luck in future stories!

DDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW! That's so cute.

Needs a sequel to it! at least six or maybe even ten! :twilightsmile:

Needs a sequel of sorts. Like, The Shadowbolts transferring to Canterlot High after what Cinch did to Twilight.

As for the story itself, it was short and heartwarming. I always like this kind of stories. :twilightsmile:

I can somehow see this being canon between Friendship Games and Legend of Everfree. :pinkiegasp:

Good work with the story btw. :pinkiehappy:

Not bad, even though I think Sunset had every right to be upset with Sci-Twi at that moment. It's not like she was being overly harsh or anything, lives were at stake and intentionally or not Twilight was contributing to the problem. Sure, maybe she could've been a little more gentle, but it's not like she completely blew up at Twilight.

You seem to have a penchant for controversial topics lately. Also, I agree with Son of Sanguinius; the dialogue is too formal and, as a result, too uniform. Perhaps a story featuring Applejack, with her thick accent, would be some good practice on writing the individual styles of different characters.

7521565 There is no question that I have been tackling pretty difficult topics lately. I can assure you that from here on in, it will be all clean stories.

7520657 I've always thought that BOTH Sunset and Twilight were at fault: Sunset for upsetting Twilight unintentionally, although it was justified, and Twilight for messing with things she didn't understand about.

7525007 "By the power invested by the Princess of the Sun, Sunset Shimmer you may now kiss Twilight Sparkle of the human world. You two will now live together as girlfriend and girlfriend!"

7522605 You are exactly right and that's why people are mad.

Well done.

When you actually think about it, sunset was kind of a hypocrite for yelling at twilight.

7520076
I agree. We have rules when it comes to science because there is a possibility of danger to ourselves and others if we aren't careful. Without rules we could easily hurt a lot of people. Yes it partly an accident what happened on the track but when she saw what was happening twilight didn't stop and what started as a little problem turned into a huge problem and almost hurt a whole bunch of people and then even after being yelled for being reckless she does something more reckless. Sometimes I wonder how such a smart girl could be so dumb. Surely she knows of times when science went too far in their pursuit of knowledge and hurt people it is all over history if you pay attention.

this is what we should've gotten at the end of the FUCKING movie
an FUCKING apology

That was so f***ing beautiful. 😊 (Pardon my language, but still.)

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