Twilight's Visit
It’s too late. I didn’t make it in time. I wasn’t there for her. I didn’t help her when I had the chance. I couldn’t save her from the heartbreak. I wasn’t assertive enough. … I’ve failed.
These thoughts all stung in Rarity’s head as she leaned over her three-mirror platform, sobbing profusely.
Fighting the tears, she bristled her hoof across the purple flowers on the table, the same flowers that she had gazed upon after an argument she had with Sweetie Belle about not wanting to attend the Sisterhooves Social.
“I should’ve talked to her as soon as I had the chance,” she lamented out loud. “I could’ve stopped this from happening. If I had just stepped in earlier! Hmm… that is most interesting though, that she was in love with Spike all along.”
After thinking about it for a moment however, she put her hoof to her forehead. “Oh, listen to yourself, Rarity! Of course she was in love with Spike the whole time! How could I have been so blind? Here, I thought that huge hunk of a sapphire was just a token of her friendship, when she had just had a conversation with me about a pony who has feelings for their companion! And now it’s all fallen apart! She must have tried to confide in other ponies! That’s how she found that Spike already had his hear on…”
But then the realization stopped her monologue cold.
…on me? Wait a second. Spike has a crush on… me? Is that— is that really true? I guess I never thought about it… Well, now that I am, that would certainly make a lot of sense. He’s always been so unusually kind and generous to me, offering his assistance constantly…
“Hang on, that isn’t necessarily an indication of infatuation. That’s just Spike being a good friend. Perhaps Sweetie observed all that and got the wrong idea…” She stood up. “Maybe I should go up and explain the confusion to her. Spike’s merely just being a very generous friend, is all. It’s not like he’s ever… actually… said—”
But before she could finish that sentence, her mind flashed back to that faithful day. The day before Spike’s birthday.
“Gosh, you really like it, huh?”
“Like it?” replied Rarity, eyeing Spike’s gleaming heart-shaped fire ruby. “It’s magnificent.”
“Then… you should have it,” said Spike. And much to Rarity’s surprise, he handed the ruby directly to her. “This beautiful gem was meant to be with you.”
“I don’t know what to say,” said Rarity, her eyes gleaming. Spike made a bashful cringe as she circled around him in her excitement. “This is so thoughtful. Oh, my little Spikey Wikey!”
She then planted a kiss on Spike’s cheek, and his whole body shook up like a plank.
That’s right… the gem that he gave me. That selfless, generous act. I hadn’t even given much thought about what he had done until... until it saved him from himself.
“Oh, what now? I suppose you’ll be eating me or something!”
The rampaging Spike’s feelings were in flux as he remembered that tender moment with Rarity. And before her eyes, he shrunk back into his small stature.
“Spike? You’re the rampaging dragon?” As they both plummeted down, Spike decided to take his chance.
“Rarity, I need to tell you something, just in case we don’t make it! I’ve always sort of had a crush—”
But before he could finish that thought, Rarity covered his lips, tears welling in her eyes. Spike smiled in reply.
The confession he made… I remember now. I merely dismissed it as a ‘spur-of-the-moment’ confession, a rubbish thought that just popped into his head while he was descending, and I stopped him because I didn’t want him to embarrass himself with such a silly exclamation.
That confession… was genuine? Spikey Wikey… really does love me?
“Spike… how could I have not seen it before?” Rarity’s tears were starting to drip onto the table now as they completely streamed down her face. “Oh, what is wrong with me? How could I have not seen such obvious expressions of love? There’s been a triangle right in front of my eyes this whole time! Sweetie’s in love with Spike, and Spike’s in love with me, and…”
She stopped cold. Another realization hit her.
“…and, just who am I in love with with?”
As this particular thought ran through her head, there was suddenly a knock at the door.
What? A visitor? Who could it be at this hour?
The knock persisted.
“I-I’m coming, I’m coming!”
“Oh, hello Twilight!” said Rarity, opening the door to see Twilight’s smiling face. “What brings you here at this hour? My, what a lovely headpiece you’re wearing! That would be the hat that Pinkie gave you on your last birthday, is it not?”
“Thanks, Rarity! And yes it is,” said Twilight, adjusting her large green sunhat, adorned with a bright red rose. “I’m really sorry for stopping by so late. It’s just that I’m visiting each of my friends’ houses to let you all know that Spike and I are going to be away at Canterlot for a few days.”
“You are?” Rarity replied, with an astonished expression. “What’s the occasion?”
“Princess Celestia invited me. My parents are going to be in town, and she thought it would be great if I came up to Canterlot to see them. It’s been so long since I last saw my parents, and I’m so excited to tell them about all my friends and all the lessons I’ve learned about friendship!”
“Well, that’s just wonderful, Twilight!” said Rarity. “Oh, you’re so lucky! I wish I could go to Canterlot as often as you and Spike do! The flair, the pizzazz, the enrichment! I am just so envious that you and Spike get to see it all and…” But then she gasped. “Wait, no! You can’t do that! Err, I mean— you can do that, but… NO! I— uhh!”
Twilight’s smile turned into a concerned frown. “Wh-what do you mean, Rarity? Why can’t we do what?”
Twilight and SPIKE are going to be in Canterlot for a few days? That’s not good at all! How am I supposed to help my little sister with her unrequited crush when the crush in question is going to be on the other side of the mountain?
“H-how long did you say you two were going to be in Canterlot, exactly?” asked Rarity, struggling to get her words out.
“Um… well, we’re going to leave tomorrow morning and be there for five days, and then take the train back to Ponyville on Saturday.”
“Five whole days?” exclaimed Rarity, leaning in close to Twilight’s face. “Does Spike really have to be away for that long? I, uh— I might need his help!”
“Help? Help with what?”
“Um… uh… I— have a few orders to fill for some esteemed clients in… Manehattan, yes! I have over twenty dresses to make, and they all require quite the sizable abundance of gems. I mean, typically I could just search for the gems to make them on my own, but we’re talking twenty dresses here, Twilight!”
She started shaking Twilight’s shoulders, making her dizzy. “TWENTY dresses! There’s just simply no way I’ll be able to finish them in time without little Spikey’s help!”
“Well… I don’t know, Rarity,” said Twilight. “I’ve never left Spike all by himself in Ponyville for more than a day. I’m not sure if I can trust him with that big responsibility of handling the whole library himself without any assistance for five days.”
“And besides, he was really excited about going to Canterlot and catching up with some of our old friends.” She looked up the clouds. “It’s almost like it’s all he could think about since we first got the letter. I mean, you should just see how quickly he packed all his things! I’m sorry Rarity, it’s just…” She put her hoof on Rarity’s shoulder. “He’d probably be really disappointed if he had to stay here, even if it was to help you.”
“Right… regardless of the fact that he apparently fancies me,” Rarity muttered.
“What was that?”
“Um, I-I said, Canterlot must be a very fancy place to visit, then. Heh-heh,” she replied sheepishly.
“Well, if it’s that important to you, Rarity, hmm, let me think…” She put a hoof to her chin and patted it a few times, deep in thought.
“You know… I guess what I could do is just have Spike with me the first three days, and then let him take the train back to Ponyville and spend the rest of the week taking care of the library. I’m just… not sure if he’s responsible enough to be left alone for that long.”
“Oh, but he won’t be alone!” replied Rarity. “As I said, I might be needing his help quite a bit while he’s here, and…” And then, she flashed a wide smile. She just came up with a brilliant idea. “And besides, when he is home all by himself, I’ll have Sweetie Belle stop by occasionally to check on him!”
“Huh,” said Twilight, pondering this over. “That does make me feel a little better about it. You know what, Rarity? I’ll talk to Spike on the way there and see what he thinks. I’ll be sure to send you a letter letting you know.”
“Oh, thanks, Twilight. You don’t know how much this would mean to Swee— I mean, me.”
“Hey, speaking of which, how has been Sweetie been lately?” asked Twilight. “Has she adjusted well to living with you? I know things got a little shaky when your parents moved to Fillydelphia. But she’s fun to have around now, right?”
“Oh, she is indeed! She and I have been doing so many wonderful things together! I feel like we’ve become even closer as sisters than ever before.” Even though right now, I feel like the worst sister ever.
“That’s just awesome, Rarity,” said Twilight. “It’s kind of a shame that your father had to take that job offer, though. Has anypony ever told you that your mother makes the best cheese sandwiches and omelets?”
“You… don’t say,” said Rarity, giving her best fake smile. Why is everypony always so ecstatic about my mother’s cooking? It never tasted all that good to me. “Well, I suppose it's all for the best. Maybe now, my father will become the greatest college hoofball coach this side of Equestria.”
“Yeah, maybe. Well, I need to get going. I’ll have to tell everypony else about this… new change of plans.”
“Well then, it was nice seeing you, Twilight. Ta-ta!” As Rarity started to close the door, she spotted Twilight pull out her checklist and start writing things down.
“Let’s see, now I’m going to have to go back to Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash’s homes to let them know about this change in plans. I hope Pinkie Pie is actually home now so I can tell her what’s going on, and I still need to Applejack, Cheerilee, and Roseluck…”
Rarity rolled her eyes and shut the door. Typical Twilight.
“Sweetie Belle? Can we please talk?”
Rarity headed up the stairs again after Twilight went on her way. But this time, she wasn’t coming to reprimand her younger sister for the noise she was making in her room.
It was finally time to have that talk.
Nudging the door open a crack, Rarity peered into the filly’s bedroom.
“Sweetie?”
She was met with the sight of her sister’s face still buried in the pillows. Now, they were accompanied by a soft, muffled snoring.
Rarity emitted a sad sigh. Looks like I’ve missed my chance yet again. Oh, well. She began to slowly close the door.
“Good night, little Sweetums. You are growing up so fast…”
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The thumbnail had me hooked.. and your right, this pairing is very overlooked.
I shall read this later.
Heh, right when I get on I see a story I didn't suspect to see on here too, not that that's a bad thing, now more people can enjoy your story :)
Been reading this story on FanFiction and I'm enjoying it so far, good to see it posted here as well.
Gem.
That word means so much to me.
Where did you come up with the title? I'm curious.
I agree with SweetieSpike being an often overshadowed ship. What you're writing is quite captivating, I must say. Keep it up. *tracked and upvoted*
Nice wordcount c:
You finally posted this story on Fimfiction!
When I saw it on recent stories I was like *Gasp* No way!
Then I favorited it because I read the story on FanFiction.net.
Also I would love to hear when the next chapter is coming.
Oh one more thing...
Thx for finally posting the story on FimFiction.
Bawww, so CUTE! Awesome fic dude! Sweetie Belle is the best of the CMC and goes totally well with Spike, Continue please!
808253
Nowhere, really. I kind of just made up the title myself, and then later I linked it to the diamond that she gives Spike.
808321
You're welcome, and funny that you ask. The next chapter is actually almost finished and if all goes up, it'll be up tomorrow or Wednesday.
808469
Well, you'll just have to stick around and find out later...
808472
Huh? Post what?
love the story keep it up!
808566
Ha-ha. Yeah okay, that was my subtle little moment of evil irony. Poor Sweetie. Maybe she'll get another chance to discover her voice some other time.
808600
Oh, go ahead. I welcome some constructive criticism to help me improve.
Seems to me that almost right off the bat you're heading to get featured, and I hope you do!
808708 I mostly noticed because the CMC even mention microphones...
And Sweetie's talent is singing...
And just... my feels... they are breaking...
Urf, need more chapters. NEED!!!!! WANT!!!! NEEED!!!! Anyway, i'm really enjoying this story so far. Keep up the good work.
Hm can't wait to see where things go from here.
sweet celestia.....this is beautiful: it's the perfect blend of romance, sad, humor, tragedy, and better yet; it's got a spike/sweetiebell/rarity paring.
i've never even heard of one of those!
NOTE TO SELF: dont listen to santuary (kingdom hearts 2 theme song) while reading this; you wil tear up.
all in all, you did a pretty good job on this fanfic, much better than anything i've ever thought up or written. damn you, immagination.
808624
I think Sweetie Belle lacks a clear character in this story. She's got nothing going in this story apart from her crush on Spike, which has bloomed to the stage that she can't sleep and can't crusade. Sweetie Belle is the most subtle and level headed crusader, which makes her a little trickier to write than AB or Scoots.
There's not necessarily a problem with leaving SB as a bit of a blank slate. If you're using her to play the level headed, everypony protagonist in a story, that can work. Keanu Reeves earns a regular paycheck doing exactly that. However, if your shipping story isn't going to be character driven, it should be event driven. Something has to happen to make Sweetie Belle develop a crush on Spike, and also to make Spike drop his Rarity crush and start macking on her little sis instead.
Now, the event you use is Spike giving SB a nice flower. I'll admit that yes, this is plausible. SB isn't used to dealing with crushes, gets a very big one at a relatively small sign of affection, assumes it's true love and the plot rolls on from there. On the other hand, ehhh. It just doesn't make for a compelling ship. There's no indication that there's anything special between her and Spike, that SB wouldn't have gone head over heels for Pipsqueak or Lickety Split or Featherweight if they had been nice and then given her a flower. It feels like the romance in Star Wars: Attack of the Clones between Anakin and Natalie Portman, two attractive people who spout lovey dialogue at each other and get put in romancey places together instead of a romance based on characters that have actual romantic chemistry. I'm not saying romance can't happen like that, but it's not particularly interesting when it does. It feels tacked on, and that's really not something you want in a pure shipping story.
Spike's side just seems odd to me. I don't see a compelling reason why his monomaniacal obsession with Rarity slowly replaces itself with Sweetie. He doesn't consider her more attractive than Rarity, there's been nothing to indicate that they've bonded and formed some deeper link based on shared/compatible personality facets, desires and interests. The only explanation I see apart from 'authorial fiat' is that Spike is so unused to being desired that the moment someone is interested in him, he drops all previous infatuations and goes for the sure thing because he's desperate for some, any romantic affection.
Again, this isn't implausible, but it paints a darker fiction than I think you intend: One where there's no real attraction or chemistry between Spike and Sweetie Belle, but they end up together through a mixture of confusion and insecurity in a relationship doomed to dissatisfaction and failure. That's a very normal sort of adolescent relationship, with one side mistaking elation at being treated nicely with twue wuvv and the other side so starved for affection and validation that they jump on the first person who offers it. I could see it working as a dark comedy or a bittersweet story with a moral of sorts, but I can't see it as a d'aww true romance.
There's one or two other things, but I'll only post them if you actually want more feedback.
I've for some reason grown very partial to this pairing. The story's brilliant by the way.
Noooooooooo don't do this to me please update quickly please I beg you
810086
Yes I would like to hear the rest, please.
811091
Fear not! The next chapter is almost finished as we speak! If all goes well, the story shall continue tomorrow!
STAY STRONG.
You may have brought this pairing back into the spotlight, my friend.
811695
Wonderful. That's exactly what I was hoping to do.
I like seeing this couple as well, and the story is good so far it seems so I'll stick around to see how it ends. Kudos
When will your next chapter be?
813915
Tomorrow.
Really awesome story! This better end up good! Godspeed and goodluck!
DAMN!
right when it gets good it ends
i hope to see more to this soon!
818497
YOU WILL GET YOUR WISH WITHIN A MATTER OF HOURS.
I wanted to read this later, but then I couldn't resist. So far it's AWESOME!!!
and I still need to Applejack, Cheerilee, and Roseluck…”
I love that you included Roseluck in that. :D
i498.photobucket.com/albums/rr345/jensens7/BestPone.png
Good chapter. I can't wait to see where this goes!
851565
Um, that's odd. What's her cutie mark?
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Sweetie_Belle.png OH, COME ON!!
TALK!! BOTH OF YOU!! SAY YOUR SPEAKING!!dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Sweetie_Belle.png
“Oh, what now? I suppose you’ll be eating me or something!”
I jumped on this story when there were seven chapters, so I GET MOAR! Yay!
810086
I agree with everything you said lol.
"catching up with some of our old friends."
What friends?
haven't read any of the other comments yet so i'm not sure if someone else suggested it but great way to solve the problem,
polygamy
Pinkie, look at the sh*t storm you have wrought.
“Oh, what now? I suppose you’ll be eating me or something!”
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID! HAHAHAHAH!
she bristled her hoof across the purple flowers on the table
Okay, now I'm sure English is not your first language. You probably want "scraped" or "brushed".
"That faithful day." Since when were ponies religious? Are you sure you didn't mean "fateful?" That would certainly make more sense, at least to me.
810086 Oh yeah, and this. Pretty much what I said earlier, just much better phrased.
1622961 does having an immortal divine ruler count? How does Twilight sign her letters again? (Mind you a little voice that calls itself "shipping" keeps telling me there's another reason for that
)
Damn you're dense Rarity......
Honestly, I don't believe for a moment Rarity wasn't aware of Spike's crush all along. I always assumed she was humouring him while waiting for him to grow out of it.
images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110821192302/mlp/images/7/77/Spike_T_shirt_Rarity_heart_S1E20.png
Rarity's job revolves around clothes. If she didn't see that and get the message, then she must have a mental inefficiency...
isn't all a cheese sandwich is only cheese and bread what does she do use a rare kind of cheese
"Poor little gal. She cried herself to sleep."
I'm reading this, and parts of the fic so far make me feel like I've read this fic before, but I know I haven't. #weirddejavu