SabreTheRedMane
Joined 29th Jan, 2016 ·
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Hmm, you turned that old post in a story, uh? Not bad. Not bad all. Nice work, actually
7539835 Thank you! Well it was more like fusion of my thoughts expressed in the said post with the theme of reddit prompt. They got along nicely.
Sorry to be a critic, but... While the buildup is nice, the actual act is very, very short. Tiny, actually.
7540992 Sigh. I guess i was trying too much for it to be realistic
7541960 Maybe you should consider the idea of writing more chapters.
the most disappointing part is that there won't be more. shame really.
7544428
7543700
Thank you for your interest guys! Well, you see, it was a prompt originally, so it became oneshot.
If we speaking of expanding this story, then aside from possible expanding of "romantic" scene, as it somewhat laconic, what would you wanted to read about this characters?
7544739 I'd like to see how the alicorn adapts dealing with everyday's normal life (well, as normal can be in the wasteland). It would be interesting how she develop her own personality, how she interacts with her 'sisters' now that there's no longer Unity, how she learns doing things that for other ponies are normal (like buying and selling stuff, I guess that more than a few vendors would give her a scary-discount
), stuff like that.
As a side note, the description sounds a bit mechanical and it contains a few grammar mistakes that I was able to notice even if English is not my first language.
7544793
That all is in the whole another story, that i'm currently writing, and has almost 30000 words written. Albeit it's about a Green Sister, and i haven't yet translated it to english. So you'll have to wait a bit.
Oh, thanks for correction. As it with every native russian speaker, articles and abundance of to be verbs are angering and cofusing me sometimes.
7544968 Ah, don't worry. I know the feeling, it's all a matter of practice. I still remember my first times as a writer. The results were... well, a real mess, to be honest. Luckily there are a lot of people on this site willing to help other writers by editing their stories.
7577613 Спасибо! Нелегко писать на буржуйском
7579729
Надеюсь это был сарказм
Приятный клопфик.
Отозвался на сторисе, плюсанул там и тут...
И это круто, что вообще существуют люди, способные писать свои рассказы и ан английском, и на русском. Меня только на перевод en->ru хватает... Обратное - большая экзотика, а чтобы одновременно...
9999415
Спасибо на добром слове! Но вы меня перехваливаете. Английский вариант прямо скажем посасывает по сравнению с русским, имхо. Сейчас читаю и понимаю что многое нужно было сделать не так.