• Member Since 29th Jan, 2016
  • offline last seen 13 hours ago

SabreTheRedMane


a.k.a idealistic_romulan

Comments ( 16 )

Hmm, you turned that old post in a story, uh? Not bad. Not bad all. Nice work, actually :twilightsmile:

7539835 Thank you! Well it was more like fusion of my thoughts expressed in the said post with the theme of reddit prompt. They got along nicely.

Sorry to be a critic, but... While the buildup is nice, the actual act is very, very short. Tiny, actually.

7540992 Sigh. I guess i was trying too much for it to be realistic

7541960 Maybe you should consider the idea of writing more chapters.

the most disappointing part is that there won't be more. shame really.

7544428
7543700

Thank you for your interest guys! Well, you see, it was a prompt originally, so it became oneshot.

If we speaking of expanding this story, then aside from possible expanding of "romantic" scene, as it somewhat laconic, what would you wanted to read about this characters?

7544739 I'd like to see how the alicorn adapts dealing with everyday's normal life (well, as normal can be in the wasteland). It would be interesting how she develop her own personality, how she interacts with her 'sisters' now that there's no longer Unity, how she learns doing things that for other ponies are normal (like buying and selling stuff, I guess that more than a few vendors would give her a scary-discount :rainbowkiss:), stuff like that.

As a side note, the description sounds a bit mechanical and it contains a few grammar mistakes that I was able to notice even if English is not my first language.

Goddess and Red Eye promised them procreation by magic. Now, they both dead.

The Goddess and Red Eye promised them procreation by magic. Now, they're both dead.

Velvet Remedy says, that they need zebra shamans, but this is still uncertain.

Velvet Remedy says that they need zebra shamans, but this is still uncertain.

But lone purple Sister, cut off from her fellow alicorns in some area of the Equestrian Wasteland systematized all her knowledge about this vital topic and chose third path. Path, that requiers an experement with two participants. So she goes on the hunt.

But a lone purple Sister, cut off from her fellow alicorns in some area of the Equestrian Wasteland, systematized all her knowledge about this vital topic and choose a third path. A path that requires an experiment with two participants. So she goes on the hunt.

7544793

I'd like to see how the alicorn adapts dealing with everyday's normal life (well, as normal can be in the wasteland). It would be interesting how she develop her own personality, how she interacts with her 'sisters' now that there's no longer Unity, how she learns doing things that for other ponies are normal (like buying and selling stuff, I guess that more than a few vendors would give her a scary-discount :rainbowkiss:), stuff like that.

That all is in the whole another story, that i'm currently writing, and has almost 30000 words written. Albeit it's about a Green Sister, and i haven't yet translated it to english. So you'll have to wait a bit.:twilightsheepish:

Goddess and Red Eye promised them procreation by magic. Now, they both dead.

The Goddess and Red Eye promised them procreation by magic. Now, they're both dead.

Oh, thanks for correction. As it with every native russian speaker, articles and abundance of to be verbs are angering and cofusing me sometimes.:pinkiesad2:

7544968 Ah, don't worry. I know the feeling, it's all a matter of practice. I still remember my first times as a writer. The results were... well, a real mess, to be honest. Luckily there are a lot of people on this site willing to help other writers by editing their stories.

7577613 Спасибо! Нелегко писать на буржуйском

7579729

Что сказать, язык высших людей.:rainbowwild:

Надеюсь это был сарказм:pinkiecrazy:

Приятный клопфик.
Отозвался на сторисе, плюсанул там и тут...
И это круто, что вообще существуют люди, способные писать свои рассказы и ан английском, и на русском. Меня только на перевод en->ru хватает... Обратное - большая экзотика, а чтобы одновременно...

9999415
Спасибо на добром слове! Но вы меня перехваливаете. Английский вариант прямо скажем посасывает по сравнению с русским, имхо. Сейчас читаю и понимаю что многое нужно было сделать не так.

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