Jumping to Conclusions
Sunlight peeked through Twilight's window and shined over her face. She lazily half opened one eye for five seconds and pulled over her bedsheets. For a little over an hour she continued to sleep in, when she heard a commotion out in the street.
Twilight lifted her head up. "The buck is that?"
She hopped out of her bed and proceeded down to the bottom floor. She saw Spike emerge from his room, tiredly rubbing his eyes. Spike yawned. "Twilight... ya hear that? What's going on?"
"Something's going on outside, Spike. C'mon."
Twilight opened her front door, and was needless to say quite surprised to see thirty Canterlot guards patrolling Ponyville. She looked around. The civilians of Ponyville were just as confused as she was, they were attempting to ask the guards questions, but of course recieved no answer.
Now Twilight was looking for somepony. As she weaved throught the crowds, she finally found him. Her big brother, Captain Shining Armor, was currently speaking to the Mayor of Ponyville. The Mayor had a gravely worried look on her face.
"...And that's why this is happening." Shining Armor said, finishing his sentence as Twilight came within hearing range.
"I understand." The Mayor said.
"Don't worry ma'am. We will be as unintrusive as possible during our time here."
"Thank you, Captain."
"Please, just call me Shining Armor."
The Mayor nodded and walked away to go do political mayor stuff. Shining Armor noticed Twilight approaching. "Twilight! I was wondering when I'd find you."
"B.B.B.F.F.!" Twilight embraced her brother in a hug. "As much as Iike surprise visits, you wouldn't mind explaining what the whole royal guard's doing here?"
"Nice to see you too. Look, something happened earlier this morning. I just filled the Mayor in with the details, and she's gonna give a speech about it in a few minutes. Just be patient, alright sis?"
"Alright..."
"Maybe you should go check on your friends. I can see most of them just over there." Shining pointed a hoof down the street. Just a ten yards away were Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity.
"Morning girls." Twilight said.
"Good morning." They all replied.
"Twi." Applejack started. "Ya got any idea what in tarnation is goin' on here?"
"Not at all. I tried asking Shining, but he just kind of brushed me off and said the Mayor's gonna give a speech soon." Twilight replied. She looked around. "Has anypony seen Fluttershy?"
"Not since yesterday darling." Rarity answered. "She must still be at her cottage. Oh, I hope the royal guard isn't here because something dangerous was spotted outside Ponyville."
"Ah you're worrying too much." Rainbow Dash said while dismissivly waving a hoof. "I'm sure Fluttershy is perfectly fine. I mean, really, when has anything weird ever happened near Fluttershy's place?"
"You don't read crossover fan-fictions often, do you, Rainbow Dash?" Pinkie Pie deadpanned.
Everypony looked at her with confused looks when the Mayor appeared on the podium in the center of town. "Attention! If I could please have your attention everypony!" Everypony shut up and turned their attention to the Mayor. Shining Armor and two other guards stepped up to the podium to join the Mayor so that they stood behind her, but were also kind- of- sort- of next to her.
"Now, I know you are all wondering just what in the hay the royal guard is doing here. Apparently, Princess Celestia herself sent them down here for our own protection."
"Protection from what?" Derpy asked.
"According to Captain Shining Armor, earlier this morning an unidentified creature appeared in the sky and crashed down in the Everfree Forest." Gasps and murmers erupted from the crowd when the Mayor said this. "I'm not done, I'm not done! Now, we do not know whether or not this creature is hostile. So, the guard is here. But when I am done with this speech, the Captain and most of his stallions will go into the Everfree Forest to investigate this matter."
An awkward silence soon followed. Shining Armor gently tapped the Mayor on the shoulder. "Um, are you done?"
"Hm? Oh yes Shining Armor. You and the rest of the guard can go anytime."
"Thank you." Shining turned to the other twenty nine guards. "STALLIONS! TONIGHT WE DINE IN TAR-"
"Wrong speech sir." A guard in the front row said.
"Oh, um, *ahem* sorry. Alright, here are your orders. Ten of you will stay here, while the rest of you will come with me into the forest. Volunteers for who gets to stay?"
All the guards raised their hooves.
Shining Armor sighed. "Every bucking time. Okay, hooves down. Eenie, meenie, minie, mo." Shining randomly selected ten guards from the crowd. "Alright, you ten, stay here and watch over the town. The rest of you, with me."
Shining Armor and nineteen reluctant guards began marching for Everfree. Before he left the town, Shining was intercepted by Twilight.
"Promise me you'll be okay, alright B.B.B.F.F.?" Twilight said pleadingly.
Shining Armor chuckled and gave her a hug. "Hey c'mon Twilight, remember who you are talking to. What could happen?"
**********
Braden gave a powerful kick to the ramp of the Longsword, which had somehow closed shut when they crashed. The ramp was knocked off its hinges and landed on the ground with a *THUD*.
"I'll fix that later." Braden said as he exited the Longsword. Kenny, Rose, and James soon followed. The four SPARTANS looked around. They had crashed at the edge of an open clearing in the middle of a forest. The clearing was quite sizable, it could fit two Longswords if anybody ever bothered trying.
Braden turned to Kenny. "Kenny, you know more about this place than any of us. Can you identify where we are?"
"The Everfree Forest." Kenny said.
"Anything we should know about this "Everfree"?"
"That it is significantly more dangerous than most other places in Equestria. Be on your guard."
The SPARTANS checked their weapons. Braden had a Battle Rifle and a Sniper Rifle. James was armed with a shotgun and a rocket launcher. Rose was equipped with a magnum and an Assault Rifle. Kenny weilded an Assault Rifle and an SMG. For melee weaponry, James, Rose, and Kenny all had Combat Knives. Braden had his Katana.
Braden pointed to Rose. "Rose, I want you to check on the Longsword. Determine whether it can be fixed."
"On it sir." Rose replied as she returned to the crashed Longsword.
"Colonel." Kenny said, making it known that he had something to say.
"Yes Private?"
"Considering our current position, perhaps we should, you know..."
"Hm?"
"...Ask the ponies for help?"
"...No."
"But-"
"Private, we are on an alien planet with a race with unkown intentions. We do not know how they would react to our presence."
"Actually according to the show all the ponies ever intend to do is spread harmony and peace."
Braden sighed. "You have watched the show, correct?"
"Yes."
"And how this world is aesthetically cute and beautiful?"
"Uh huh?"
"Private, odds are that if we reveal ourselves to the ponies, they will only compromise our current objective to get back home. They would assume us to be monsters. Do you understand?"
"...Yes sir."
"Perhaps you should tell me about their government, in the event we do come into contact."
"Equestria is a monarchy, well, a diarchy actually. Two sisters rule the land: Princess Celestia and Princess Luna."
"I see. In which direction is civilization?"
"Northwards. Three major settlements: Ponyville, Cloudsdale, and the capitol city of Canterlot."
Rose reappeared. "The Longsword can be fixed." She said. "But it will take time. We have just barely enough tools to patch it up."
"Wait, how do we get out of here if we can't go into slipspace?" James asked.
"Oh I'm sure some bullshit deus ex machina will randomly appear to solve our problem." A small meteor appeared in the sky above them, and landed in the middle of the group without causing any trouble. It was a mini sized slipspace drive.
"See? I was right." Rose said as she picked up the sudden plot device.
"Where did it come from?" Braden said.
"Must've been The Red Shirt's. It appears to have survived the accident, shrunk down, and followed us here. And it is a perfect size to fit onto the Longsword."
James facepalmed. "Normally I would just call bullcrap on that but, hey, we're in a cartoon! So why the hell not!"
Before Rose could go back to the Longsword to fit it with the mini slipspace drive, all of their com links began beeping. "You guys getting this?" James asked. None of them could believe it. A message encrypted in UNSC code was being broadcast to them.
Braden created an open channel. "Hello? This is X 1; SPARTAN 007; does anyone read me over?"
A reply came throught their mics. The message was filled with static, but they understood every word of it.
"This... X 2... TAN 046... I re..."
"Richard! Richard that you?!"
"Col... my... ment is... maged... can s... town... orders?"
"Richard, stay away from any and all population centers and stay where you are. We will come to you. Can you confirm if Ashley is still alive?"
"Negat... not se... since fa...
"Richard, we're coming to get you. I'm sending X 4, 5, and 6 to get you. Clear?"
"...Hurry..."
Braden dropped the call and turned to the others. "Alright you three, head out. I'll stay here to hold down the fort and discourage the curious. And under no circumstances are you to come into contact with any of the locals. Go out, get Richard, and get back."
"Yes sir." The three SPARTANS replied. Kenny, James, and Rose; with Kenny leading the way obviously; set out into the woods of Everfree. From what they had heard from Richard, he was somewhere near a town, presumably Ponyville, which meant they had to go east. Their HUDs told them which direction was east, so that wasn't a problem. Seeing throught he darkness of the woods wasn't really a problem either, as SPARTANS had eyesight that was almost on par with night vision.
What was a problem though was just trying to get past the damn trees. On the show moving through the Everfree Forest appeared easy. But that was because most of the characters were small ponies. Moving through the thick woods was not easy for a seven foot SPARTAN.
Eventually the trio began seeing rays of light. They were nearing the edge of the forest.
"I see movement!" James suddenly said. The SPARTANS each picked a tree to hide behind. They were a mere forty feet away from the edge of the woods. Something was over there.
"Me too." Rose replied. "Kenny, you go on ahead to check it out."
Kenny silently nodded, holstered his guns, and unsheathed his knife. He silently crept forward, blade at the ready. Now there was just one tree between him and whatever James and Rose had spotted. Kenny peeked around the corner, and nearly gasped.
Fluttershy had her back turned to him. She was just ten feet away from him, innocently picking flowers and putting them into baskets. Kenny almost passed out from the sheer cuteness of the sight before him. Barely thinking, and forgetting that he was holding a large knife in one hand, he stepped out from behind the tree and began approaching Fluttershy. She still had not noticed him.
Kenny had taken only three steps when an unseen force hit him on the side of his head and knocked him out unconsious.
**********
"EEP!" Fluttershy cried out when a sudden noise from behind startled her. She turned around and was shocked to not only see a royal guard, but also a large red creature slumped against a tree. "W-what's going on?" Fluttershy nervously asked.
"Do not worry, you are safe now ma'am." The guard responded.
Suddenly two creatures who somewhat resembled the red one burst out from the treeline.
"Oh my god, they killed Kenny!" The smaller of the two cried out.
"YOU BASTARDS!" The larger of the two yelled.
Fluttershy and the guard were about to be manhandled when two more royal guards appeared from nowhere and bucked the attacking creatures on the sides of their heads. The monsters fell down unconsious. Suddenly a whole crowd of guards appeared. Fluttershy's anxiety increased, but she calmed down when she saw Shining Armor, who was fully dressed in his shining armor *BA DUM TSH*.
"Shining Armor! Twilight's brother, sir!"
Shining gave a warm smile. "Fluttershy! Wish we could have met under better circumstances."
"Y-yes." Fluttershy looked over to the unconsious forms of the three monsters. "What are they? And why did they attack? Why did YOU attack?"
"Good questions. Who was the guard you first met?"
Fluttershy looked around at the crowd of identical guards. "...That one." She pointed to a random guard, who actually WAS the guard who was on the scene first.
The guard saluted. "Captain."
"Random soldier." Shining responded. "Explain to me what happened."
"While we were marching, I noticed something in the treeline behind this here mare we were passing by. I saw that it was the large red creature over there. The mare had not noticed it, and it was coming up behind her with a dagger. I did what I thought was necessary. Then those other two attacked and the rest of you arrived."
Shining Armor stroked his chin. "This complicates things. Fluttershy, I... um, Fluttershy?" When Shining had turned back to Fluttershy, the poor pegasus was visibly silently shaking at the implications of (what the ponies thought) might have happened to her had the random guard not "saved" her.
Shining gently patted Fluttershy on the shoulder, gaining the pegasi's attention. "Fluttershy, listen to me. I want you to go to Ponyville and find Twilight and the rest of your friends. Tell them what happened. I do not believe these lands are safe anymore."
Fluttershy gave a somber nod and quickly galloped off to Ponyville. The random ass guard approached Shining Armor. "Captain, do you think there is a possibility that this and the event from earlier today are related?"
"There's only one way to find out. But first, we have to deal with these... things." Shining briefly pondered what to do with them. Then an idea popped in his head. "I want one guard to carry each of these creatures back to Canterlot for imprisonment. We cannot allow these hostiles to roam free. Oh, and make sure to pass through Ponyville, they need to see the danger we all face."
Three random unicorn guards nodded and enveloped the three creatures in an aura of magic and... nothing happened. Eventually the guards found out that these creatures literally weighed half a ton, and that it required three strong willed unicorns to lift one creature. So now Shining Armor's group consisted of himself, three other unicorns, and seven pegasi.
Shining Armor didn't know why, but he prayed to Celestia that 11 royal guards was enough to face off against whatever they encountered in the Everfree Forest. Especially if they had to go against any more of those creatures...
**********
Braden was sitting on the fixed ramp of the Longsword, sharpening his katana with a small rock.
"I hope those three kids are okay." He thought to himself.
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I really wouldn't want to be the guards when the Spartans wake up!
South Park reference.
That was waiting to happen since the beginning.
dafaq?
if theres one thing i know about spartans is that they are tough as hell
and surely will not be knocked unconcious just from being bucked ESPECIALLY with their armor on which weighs half a ton for a reason
still a good chapter nonetheless
Bull shit!
Spartans are covered in armor which the palting of it used on SHIPS IN SPACE not to mention padding, gel layer, and training. why author, WHY! 
why...
833998 seriously If they broke the spartan over shield the blow back would break every bone in there body
how did a simple buck to the head knock out a spartan? That does not make any sense considering the amount of amour they are wearing and they have over shields too to protect them from even the most brutal knock to the head.
834112
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEyup
ONE kick to the head doesn't knock out a spartan. You really messed up there.
Author! DAFUQ?
SPARTANS knocked out with one buck................................................................................................................No... just no.
834899
Yeah :S i cant belive that a kick knocked out a spartan... they have Fuck*ng energy shields and a friggin armor of 1 ton...
If a pony somehow managed to knock out a Spartan they'd have killed them because those helmets would protect them from such puny kicks, especially with the shock absorbing materials in it so they'd have to have broken through the helmet and materials, and if they could then it would have killed the Spartans because the force would have to be so quick and hard that it would keep traveling through their skulls.
A buck to the head knocks out a spartan...
I'm sorry, is this some kind of joke? They have metallic armour capable of taking heavy damage from things such as explosives. A kick to the head would only piss off the spartan more. I doubt it would barely scratch the visor alone.
With that, you have just lost some readers
all i would say to thoughs spartans who got knocked out by small pastel ponies is "YOU fucking retards!"
"Fluttershy and the guard were about to be manhandled when two more royal guards appeared from nowhere and bucked the attacking creatures on the sides of their heads."
How would a tiny pony probably not even half the size of a spartan reach up and buck them in the head? Second how did the bucks hurt them with energy shields and the armor? How did the motion tracker not even pick up the activity around them? Why did they not act professionally after they clearly saw their comrade unconscious on the ground, they are super soliders being knocked the fuck out by ponies who have never experienced war?
So... many... good jokes... can't choose... which one... to quote...
ohh boy when those spartans wake up the guards are in for an ass kicking
Impossibru!
Spartans have ceramic bone plating, three times the reaction time of a normal human, and they have dense muscles meant to lift freaking Scorpions with ease and taking on Sangheli in hand to hand combat.
Do NOT even get me started on the armor. Shields (perhaps they don't have them considering Spartans didn't always have them.) Armor meant to protect them from motherf***ing bullets and plasma, hydrostatic gel layer meant to keep a Spartan from dying from reentering a planet's ATMOSPHERE.
And weapons.
And they are bucked in the heads and pass out.
No. Just no.
It looked like it might have been something good to read, in more a comedic since, but I was unable to continue after the first SPARTAN-II was knocked out by a single buck to the head from a guard pony who is less than half his size WITHOUT the armor alone.
So many Refrences.... brain... can't ........comprehend..... *Explosions of da head*
I've been waiting for a South Park reference all story. It was totally worth it.
"Random soldier." Shining responded. "Explain to me what happened."
Hilarious^
I'm starting to think that this is a joke story. If it is, it's totally working.
1064103
They also have motion trackers too.
Because a four foot tall pony can kick with enough force and accuracy (not to mention stealth) to knock a seven foot tall armored man that can survive a tank round to the face.
Logic, the crying corner is that way. Say hi to physics while your there.
No, I don't think she does.
Hello, welcome to South Park, Colorado, now located in Equestria. Have a nice day.
I do hope the choppy writing is intentional
Plus, Spartans weigh two tons, or at least the Chief does.
Spartan can fall from orbit, survive and still be conscious, gets bucked and is knocked out cold. What is wrong with this picture?
3404335 If Noble Six was here, he'd be furious.
834167 Back of the head = one hit KO.
"You don't read crossover fan-fictions often, do you, Rainbow Dash?" Pinkie Pie deadpanned
Rainbow, where Fluttershy lives is where ALL the shit goes down. All. Of. It.
Master chief survives atmosphere re-entry, crash landing, the flood, the covenant, scorpion main turret round to the face, ect. IN A SUIT WITH NO SHIELDS, AND A PONY, A FUCKING 4 FOOT PONY K.o.'s a 7 FOOT TALL SPARTAN!?!?!?!?!?
2775906 Best profile pic ever...
"Normally I would just call bullcrap on that but, hey, we're in a cartoon! So why the hell not!"
This is just too funny!
Commence Criticism.
What the hell? How can a spartan even fucking get knocked unconscious by a weak ass pony? This story is bullshit.
I will vanquish this salad
Quick question: did the office of navel intelligence outfit X team with the new and experimental Rubbermilian grade A alloy armour types instead of the standard warship class titanium steel battle plate, grade A, alloy types?
If yes than that would explain the missing half ton of weight as well as the poor shock absorbance factor.
If no, then What the actual buck just happened!!!
Also Weak shields, faulty shields and Spartans that don't think to activate the thin layer of energy that can protect their noggins from shrapnel, snipers and blunt force impacts?
Seems to be a trend going on quite a bit for the super human soldiers around the fall of reach timeline
(Cartoon physics must be at work here
)
Not to be a dick but Spartans have radars so they would have seen the guards and secondly I think it would take more than just a hit or a tackle to knocked a spartan out
you known that if the pony kick titanium they would shatter every bone in their legs
I feel insulted for some reason