Nooo! It ended! Good chapter, I liked it. I wished everyone was the father, and technically, they are. But good job!

“So without further ado, the father of my baby...the father of our baby-” Twilight corrected herself with a smile, before turning to the proper candidate. “Is Sunset Shimmer!”

Yay!

The taste of cock. She should’ve known better; sitting around with her mouth hanging open like that while surrounded by that many teenage girls was simply an invitation for something lewd.

Yeah...no. They just shoved a cock into her mouth. That is not fucking okay. You fucking ask first if she wants to-she might be alright watching, but she might also be loyal to Shining Armor and not want to have sex with anyone but him or at least until she's checked if he's alright. Frankly this is a violation.

Who the hell did this? They deserve to be slapped.

Sees it was Fluttershy

...

My point stands.

“You’ll have to forgive Fluttershy, darling, she’s a bit of the impulsive sort.” Rarity slipped around to the other edge of Cadance, and let her hands move out to take the other woman’s shoulders. She began to massage her gently, soothingly, allowing her fingers to dig in against the other woman’s tense muscles as she spoke. While she leaned in Cadance was able to draw in a deep breath of Rarity’s perfume; an intoxicating scent that was just as sweet as the yellow length resting on her tongue. “But in her defense, someone doesn’t stare like you were unless they wanted to join in on the fun. I trust you’re rather wet already, dear.”

I was liking Rarity here, but with all due respect, that's not true. I know in a similar situation I'd probably freeze the hell up and might be replicating Cadance and they probably wouldn't know the difference, at least not with the lusty haze over their heads.

All I'm freaking asking is some form of verbal consent. That would solve all of this. So far two of the mane 7 deserve to be slapped, and I'm tempted to throw Twilight in there even if I don't want to. She should have told Cadance what this was going to be like and see if she was okay with it, not just throw her to the wolves as it were. I understand why she did it, but I can't agree with it.

Here's how this could very easily have gone.

The taste of cock. She should’ve known better; sitting around with her mouth hanging open like that while surrounded by that many teenage girls was simply an invitation for something lewd.

"Gosh, Cadance, your mouth is so-" she never finished her sentence as Cadance reacted to an invading dick not of her husband on instinct. She bit down. Hard.

Fluttershy screamed and pulled back as fast as she could, bleeding bite marks on her already flaccid dick while Cadance looked on in shock. Everyone stopped, even Sunset and Twilight's enthusiastic fucking. Everyone could only stare in shock at the flecks of blood on Cadance's mouth.

For a long moment, the only sound was Fluttershy's whimpers.

Cadance, faster than she thought possible, was up on her feet and fled the room. The slam of the door sounded the end of Twilight's Baby Shower gangbang.

Maybe it wouldn't be that bad, but what I'm getting at is that this was wrong, and could have ended horribly. All that it would have taken is Fluttershy asking, "Hey, Cadance? Can you suck my dick?" That's all it would have taken to fix this.

...

Look, I honestly liked the chapter. It was hot and about what I expected for an end to this series, but I'm not ignoring this stuff. Yeah, you mentioned Twilight promised sex at the party, but Cadance's reaction doesn't really line up with that. Frankly from the narrative it sounds more like Twilight lied to Cadance to lure her in rather than freak her out. She sure as hell didn't tell Cadance her friends all had dicks and would be doing the sexing there, and Cadance was just too shocked initially for me to believe she had foreword on this.

I won't go as far as to call it rape because in the end Cadance was into it and she could have left if she wanted to (unless there's some hypnotic/controlling magic about their dicks), but frankly there's a bunch of things you just don't do without consent here that characters, well, do.

You really should do a spinoff detailing Fluttershy's adventures. I want so many juicy details about that pink and yellow degenerate.

Perfect

“Cadance, dear, Twilight Sparkle is simply a treasure to us. And we all enjoy her company enormously. Oh, and we all have cocks. I suppose we should have mentioned that earlier.”

In all of your stories, Rarity is proving herself to be the best.

I know you commissioned this for someone else, but I almost feel as if I was destined to find it... or that the story was destined to find me. This was a wonderful treat during a less-than-wonderful time in my existence. And if I hadn't glanced upon it, I wouldn't have discovered your talent for writing and penchant for delicious erotica. Thanks for being awesome, imaginative, and inspirational.

And yay... SunsetxSci-Twi for life.

How the heck did you managed to make this gangbang-orgy and extreme display of debauchery and perversion be romantic at the same time?

Kudos to you, sire, you are amazing.

Amazing stuff. I enjoyed it throughly.

I cannot wait to see what other plans you have in mind cause oh boy, This story showed so much amazing story, clop, and everything!

I am excited to see what else you have in mind for other stories :)

7876679 Dude. It's porn. Chill.

7881770 If I was freaking out about it, I'd have used about twice as much vulgarity and wouldn't have commented on actually liking the chapter, all things considered.

As it stands, I'm just a bit perplexed.

7881969 Eh, it's just dubcon. I would be one to assume that if Twilight planned they'd get to fuck Cadance, she'd know that Cadance would be down regardless.

Silly Twi, you should tell someone when you're bringing them to an orgy

So, instead of a whimper this ended with a bang. Of epic proportions. What a finale!

This is the first story of its kind that I feal neads to be on my bucket list shelf it will be the 8th story out off almost a thousand I have read that I feel should be read before you die.

Shame this ended.
I do kinda want to read the sexy hijinks of RDxAJ, though. That should be a rather interesting read, I'd say!

OK, just binge read this in less than 24-hours and WOW was it worth it! Loved loved LOVED every last bit of it!

7481732 where did ypu get the cover pic?

7949106 Commission from my pal Avernalism. You can find him on tumblr, he also did my Celestia Avatar.

7949110 danke.

Eh, I've read the entire thing, I'm still not sure it counts as a competition when the winner and main pairing was a forgone conclusion with you at the helm. Kinda disappointed with that. It'd be cool to see some alternate endings in which one of the others was the one to knock her up instead of the predictable SunLight that was pretty much guaranteed from chapter 1 on :/

8193818 It was a commission man, client chose the final pairing. Considering it's a favored ship of the fandom I'd say a little predictability is okay, and I like the headcanon of all the girls help raise it and the girls all basically become one big live-in orgy.

8193885 I mean I'm not saying it was bad, far from it, and the headcanon is cool, just thought it'd be cool to see some alternate outcomes is all. It was still a good read.

8262567
I like deflowering, and seeing a virgin's first time. Because it's special, unique, something you'll never see again.

The rest of the story is just the same as any other sex fic on the site, just with a Shemale Main 7 instead of a guy. And just the way they skip over Twilight losing her virginity, and how Twilight comments on it, makes Twilight seem like a slut where her virginity didn't matter at all. 'Oh, we all fucked the next morning, wasn't anything special'. Where as the night before we saw she was having conflicted feelings and was more pressured and man handled into the situation forcefully and reluctantly gave in.

Seeing her reaction to finally being fucked for the first time would have been the most interesting thing in the story. Seeing how she reacts to it, and how the other Main 7 react too since it was hinted at that while they blow each other's cocks, they never actually fucked each other or any other person so technically they would be losing their own virginity's to Twilight too, getting a taste of their first ever pussy.

But again, we don't get anything like that, and it's all swept under the rug by 1 line.

Edit: And no, the rest of the story didn't make up for it.

8260880
....You... You dug up a comment from almost a year ago to just say that? I had made my peace with this story and moved on. No one else replied to the comment and everyone was happy to just downvote it. But you felt it your duty to respond.

Fine. Lets do this.

First off, there is a limit to what you can get away with using the excuse "artistic choice". Writing a story in a Western language but using an Eastern writing style (Right to Left, Up to Down) can not be considered acceptable by saying it's "artistic choice". There are rules to writing just like there are rules to art. All of the best and longest lasting artists, regardless of what their most well known works were, all knew the basics of drawing and painting that everyone used. In writing, it's the same. You indent paragraphs.

You are also confusing Proofreaders and Editors. Proofreaders look for errors in spelling and grammar to make a work understandable. An Editor looks for ways to make a work more enjoyable to read. That includes changing, moving or even removing the written work for that end. I know because I used to do that some time ago for the work "Fel Equestria- Revised" until my PC went up and died on me. (I'm using an Xbox at the moment.). If the Author wanted my services for this work, I would have to be asked by them directly.

Now, for examples of such issues, I would have to re-read the chapter. Since I have read the chapter, it has been, once again, almost a YEAR; That's TWELVE (12) MONTHS, THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY FIVE (365) DAYS without so much as a peep out of anyone else.

As much as I was very interested in the core idea of it. I can't even rightly remember why I stopped but it was enough for me to leave a comment at the time. However, I would be willinng to give this another look if the author so wishes it. However, it will be the author, not a rabbid fan who will decide that.

So, until that time, I would like this to be the end of it. We both said our piece and lets leave it at that. Good day to you, TheGreatEater.

And to the Author, allow me to be completely clear. I am really interested in the base idea of the story. Aside from a few minor things, it was one I really wanted to enjoy and one I wish more people attempted on. I know I myself tried but I don't have the energy to write myself. My offer to serve as an Editor stands until you turn it down yourself. And a word of advice:

You want to becareful of both the people who spit poison and the people who say nothing but flattery. One wishes to destroy you, the other wishes that you stay the same. Instead, seek those out willing to look for your flaws and help you overcome them. They are the ones who will help you grow.

8263275
I'm pretty tired since it's 3:00 AM so this reply might not be the best worded, buuuuut here goes. Mostly regarding the identation thing: It's not an artistic choice by any means. I indent all of my work properly, but when it's copy/pasted into FIMFiction it loses that formatting and I can't figure out how to re-add those tabs. (Just trying to tab doesn't do it.) Just out of curiosity I clicked through about ten other stories and saw they were formatted the same way, so I'm thinking that it isn't an issue unique to me. So whatever the solution on that front is, I just don't want it being defended as any artistic choice aspect. It's a purely formatting copy/pasting issue.

Regarding the editing side of things, I fully acknowledge that my style and technique is not perfect. It is; however, appreciated by the clients that hire me to write stories such as this. I proofread but I'm clearly not a very good proofreader, though any time a client requests changes I make sure to correct the issues before a story goes public. Because so much of my work is commission based an editor isn't really feasible for me. Paying for one would be increasing the client's rate, and accepting editing services for free while I make money off of it would be unethical. That's even before you get into the fact that I run on an extremely tight schedule, delivering a story anywhere in between 4-7k to a client five days a week minimum.

Your last comment seemed to imply that I only acknowledge compliments but that's not the case: Negative feedback, even if its constructive, tends to stick with me a lot longer than any bit of praise. I don't dismiss negative comments but sometimes there's not much more I can say other than "I recognize that, I'm sorry you didn't enjoy it." Regarding the offer to be an editor aspect, your initial comment was this: "I really wish I could enjoy this, but the issues with sentence structure, flow and the desperate need for an editor killed it for me." I'll be honest, that doesn't scream to me "This is a helpful person that I should send a PM to and ask to edit stories for me."

8263442
I didn't realize this was a commission nor that you work on such a tight schedual. My apologizes.

The woman that had gotten her pregnant was drilling her ass with her thick yellow member, and she was enjoying the contours of Fluttershy’s piercings with every push of her hips. 

peach

Or more specifically 'amber'.
_________________

8262717
Personally I thought there were lots of good, deep moments. Yeah her first time filled would've been nice. But at the same time we see tons of intimate, and passionate moments that it personally makes up for it. Since it's with them at their most 'them'.

But I guess that's a matter of personal taste difference between us. It's all good ^_^.

8263275

There are rules to writing just like there are rules to art. All of the best and longest lasting artists, regardless of what their most well known works were, all knew the basics of drawing and painting that everyone used. In writing, it's the same. You indent paragraphs.

Actually you're wrong. That is an artistic choice. And there are hundreds of Play by Post RPG's that are basically fanfics in interactive form. Where they either can't or don't indent (either because the site doesn't allow indentations, or the person simply chooses not to do so).. And hundreds if not thousands of people do those.

And there are plenty of fics here that are well written. Where the paragraphs aren't indented. It is a preference.

edit: Learned that it was a formatting problem for the writer. Which has been a bane for many good fics.

You are also confusing Proofreaders and Editors. Proofreaders look for errors in spelling and grammar to make a work understandable. An Editor looks for ways to make a work more enjoyable to read. 

Actually from times acting as a pre-reader, and having tons of editors on different fics. Most editors fix or change grammar problems, and lots of other pre-readers I've seen in other fics have done what you described as an Editor's job. So clearly thing's aren't as clear cut as you think.

However, I would be willinng to give this another look if the author so wishes it. However, it will be the author, not a rabbid fan who will decide that.

My original comment was purely about common courtesy. If there's a problem with a fic. Give either constructive criticism, or point out problems. Rather than how you did it. It wasn't a rabid fan (btw that's how you spell that word), As well as confusion to your comment (aka. Not seeing where you're coming from). Your original comment had 0 constructive criticism, and didn't do anything other than state your dislike of something without really explaining why it was so.

That's not a rabid fan thing. That's a person wanting to know what the problem was (and guide you to making a bit of constructive criticism).

That said. Yes we both said our piece. And can drop this.

8264624 This is one of the most detailed comments I've read on this site and i love it.

8314541

Thanks ^_^.

8615181
Actually, futa and dick girls are the same things, the full package are called herms or hermaphrodite.

8615181
That's really just arguing semantics at this point.

Welp, Equestria Girls is my new favorite fetish. That and futa/dickgirl, as long as them having a dick is "logical".

EDIT: I can see why comments picked up again. The new Pinkie Pie story coming out and whatnot.

8627376
Futaquestria Girls have been favorite fetish for well on three decades now. Feels like it, at least! Good times.

8685123
It's got a fairly happy ending, some Celestia and Luna in later chapters and results in Twilight getting some kinkier appetites and falling in love, as you do.

is it wrong that I want a slice of life follow up that's about raising the kids?

Going forward in this universe, I choose to believe that Rainbow Dash switched from her skirt with bike shorts outfit to just the tights so that she can show off her bulge. So all those thirsty girls at school know exactly what they're gonna get.

I can't be the only one who now wants to see shining armour involved...

this story went like the prime time of your life, by daft punk. for the beginning, it's just normal, and then you get a progressive strokefhfu n tj gjiaodgj rg helgppp hbir jgt23£®£®nfigrhHUIHNUERGHUSSSSSSRSHRIGWIPO9\}SLKJHT6FRE

9033393
Fixed, thanks! The one thing I have in common with Google Docs is that we're both bad proofreaders.

9029513
Yes they do. It's literally the explicit definition.
"Futa" by itself doesn't mean much of anything at all. It means "Two" or "Both" or like the lid or top to something.
"Futanari" means "two/both-kinds". It's the Japanese word for hermaphrodite, and as such means possession of both sets of genital organs.
Also "boi" is cringe af.

9294680
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/001/058/233/2e2.png

Probably Waaaaaay late to ask this but is the reason that Sunset Shimmer is the one able to get Twily pregnant due to her inborn Equestrian Magic?

9530666
I don't think we really had a reason behind it so much as it was the best/most romantic choice. Even if it's a story about Sci getting nonstop gangbanged by her friends, there's some heart to it!

9530670
Oh I can certainly agree with that, and that it was the most romantic choice. I just had that question stuck in my head for a while now.

One of the better "adult" stories I have read on this site.

Despite this was a amazing lewding of sci-twi, I LOVED the end was Sci-set <3

I just wish this had more anal sex.

I would like to see Rainbow have a go at her mother

10409314
It's not in this story, but I have scenes with that pairing planned in the future of Rainbow Dash's 10/10 Top Tier Cock in my library.

10646325
We live here, and it's not singular, it's "implied plural". Yeah it's about context, but "you all" (y'all) is plural. When using it towards one person, it's in context of an implied group. Never have we heard it used singularly, at all, ever.

https://www.thoughtco.com/how-to-use-yall-correctly-2321967

Hell open up a dictionary, and every dictionary, shows it as a plural. Since "you" is already singular, and "you all" is the southern plural you.

Oxford English Dictionary : Y'all
Cambridge English Dictionary: Y'all
Urban Dictionary: Y'all
Merriam Webster Dictionary: Y'all

All the various other plural yous in the US.

10646343
I can't speak on what part of what state you live, but I've lived in Southeast Georgia for 40 years and y'all is used both singular and plural, it all entirely context, just like when someone from NYC say youse guys can mean one person or a whole group of people. Remember the English language is the language of bastardization.

10648379
Kentucky; Florida; Tennessee; and Arizona (which technically is the South-West). And implied plurals are still plurals. Not to be taken as singular (It's aimed at one person, but is implied for the group / organization / company, that individual belongs to as a whole.)

Also, yeah English is a language of bastardization, but people who misuse plurals because they are idiots doesn't make them any less idiots for not knowing how words work, or for butchering the English language because they lack education and a proper upbringing.

(That said. Nowhere IRL have we ever ran into people who use it singularly.)