• Member Since 10th May, 2015
  • offline last seen February 16th

Sparkletop Rainbows


Just a pegasister who's a huge fangirl on the inside. She follows back and would love to be your friend! (Avatar found at http://swa-oku.deviantart.com/art/Hetalia-Fan-Art-Samovar-Teatime-360787743)

T
Source

What happens when the one and only princess of friendship lost her sanity? You don't want to know.

Feedback is highly appreciated.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 18 )

Well this is certainly a thing. I'm just not sure what it is as I'm not sure how she was acting but it wasn't any form of crazy I thought it would be.

I'll give you points for trying but sadly this fell sort of flat and the nonsense of it was truely that, nonsense and not the funny kind, just the kind to make me question what is going on as I scratch my head I'm confusion.

Points for effort though.

Fluttershy put Discord on timeout after words.

7471701

Thank you for your feedback, everyone has their opinion.

7471703 :flutterrage: "Shame on you, Discord!"

Unlike Scorch215, I did find this mostly funny, except for the bit at the end (uh, no pun intended.) But it seemed to end a bit too abruptly...

Also, this needed another proofread. ...You called Spike by Twliight's name once and there were a few other rough bits of grammar.

...Also, the reason I picked up this story was because the description referred to 'the one and only princess of friendship' which made me think Twilight's insanity was going to have wider and/or more long term consequences due to her status. Like, maybe because the princess of friendship is insane, friendship itself goes crazy, or something. ...My fault for making too big an assumption I guess.

7471776

Where was that error you were talking about?

7471797 Let me see...

"O...kay," Twilight slowly stepped back. "I'm just gonna leave you here." He took a few steps back before quickly retreating out of Twilight's sight.

At least I assumed Spike was backing away, not Twilight.

7471812

Thank you for telling me! I fixed it.

Spike put a few other typed of food

"types of food"

Twilight threw the waffle behind here, not caring who it hit.

That's a bit odd to mention, since there's no expectation that it could anybody in the first place since there's nobody there but Twilight.

Twilight suddenly appeared in Canterlot and marched into the Canterlot Castle.
Applejack finally caught up to Twilight

Wait, what?

Aww, that ending was a letdown. In the beginning I hoped there was something special that happened to her, but then it just goes out on "Discord did it".
Meh.

I liked the first part. It would have been nice if there was a theme or something to all the craziness.

7471895
Actually, remember that Spike is still in the castle with Twilight. Even though he is not directly with her, he could still somewhere around a corner. I thought using Discord at the end would be good since a lot of people really liked him at the endings. I could only change it if a few other people request to change the ending. Thank you for your feedback.

Hey! That was pretty good!

7471895

I liked the first part. It would have been nice if there was a theme or something to all the craziness.

Actually I think that's wju I didn't like it as it started of rather well but the truely total nonsense aspect is what threw me(I have reread it a few times)

I think if there was a sort of....let's say internal logic and theme to the insanity it could work rather well IMO.

XD

Pineapples are new gloves!!!

What i learned from this story :

Twilight eats ass :rainbowlaugh:

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